Chapter 7
Strings
As Luca crossed us over the threshold into the woods, I was surprised to find the familiar scents and foliage of home, and not that of the titanous rainforest which Caius had taken me through in search of the magical cavern that had inevitably landed us in the void.
A simple realization hit me then. I’d seen summer as white beaches and exotic forests.
But summer—and I supposed all seasons—wasn’t some destination, but rather a moment in time that was embraced by the land, like a mistress passing through, neither beholden to one another.
It wasn’t exactly like the Nettorian Mountains but familiar enough that my nerves settled. Taking our time, Luca clopped forward through the light brush as we followed a game trail, which had me wondering if the fauna would be as familiar as the forest.
Tall aspens danced in the moonlight on either side of us, their leaves chattering in the omnipresent breeze. I reached out to feel the papery bark beneath my fingers, missing the familiar sensation.
As my fingertips flitted across its surface, lightly raising from the soft scars I’d always thought looked like eyes in daylight, a trail of luminescent blue followed in my wake as if I’d somehow painted it with my magic.
“Luca,” I whispered, needing to stop and investigate.
In the seconds it took him to halt, the light faded like it’d never existed. Wondering if I’d imagined it, I leaned over and brushed the narrow trunk again. An army of blue-white speckles trailed my touch like tiny, misting raindrops catching color in the sun—only I was its source of gravity.
Eyes wide and heart brimming with a sense of curious wonder I hadn’t experienced in what seemed like forever, I slipped off Luca and pressed a palm flush against the white bark. A wide grin cracked open with delight as I was instantly greeted by the strange yet stunning magic.
Testing it, I released my palm, then frowned as it faded instantaneously.
Luca shifted to watch me as I placed both hands on the tree. I was rewarded as the trunk began to glow around my splayed fingers, bright enough to illuminate our immediate surroundings in a beautiful pale shade of cobalt.
“Fascinating,” I breathed.
Luca nudged me with his muzzle, clearly curious what else it could do. I stayed still, waiting to see how far the light would spread from my touch, but it never ventured further than an eagle’s feather away from where we were connected.
Head now over my shoulder, Luca huffed.
“Yeah, I thought more would happen too.”
He snorted this time, clearly impatient with this experiment.
“Give me a second,” I said.
Breathing in deeply, I closed my eyes to connect with the forest like I’d done countless times back home. As my breaths steadied and I focused, fear, grief, and endless thoughts pulled forward, begging for the attention they craved—trying to seize the rare moment when I let my guard down.
With no small effort, I let my emotions wash over me like I was a rock in a stream, giving them space to pass by but not take purchase.
I released a long, low breath and allowed the moment to take hold.
It didn’t take long before the customary thrumming cadence of magic grew, its presence like a metronome of the land—of all magic that resided within.
But despite the Mother’s melody, I had the distinct impression that some of the magic was…
stuck—or rather, it couldn’t quite reach something, like a child on their tiptoes fully stretched out for summer fruit that remained just out of grasp.
“I wonder,” I mused aloud.
Keeping my hands firmly on the trunk of the tree, I leaned against Luca to balance myself as I awkwardly removed my boots, then fought with my stockings, rolling them down with the opposite foot until I could finally kick them off.
Once free, I placed the bare soles of my feet on the forest floor.
A shockwave erupted from me, ripping my palms from the tree and throwing me back against Luca. Stunned, I tried to catch my bearings. Luca leaned to the side a fraction as if annoyed he was holding my weight.
“Luca, give me a damn second,” I said, giving my head a quick shake.
He hoofed at the ground and gave a half-whinny.
“Seriously, Lu—”
My admonishment cut off as I finally saw what he had.
Mouth agape, I stepped out from Luca’s side and took in the sight. Slowly, I spun around in dumbstruck awe.
Infinite delicate tendrils of magic spanned far and wide, showcasing an unseen network of connections I’d innately known existed—and although it was immeasurably more complex in comparison, it reminded me of how Caius’ veins had come alive in the cavern under my touch.
I stood there for the longest time just staring, the sight so enchanting I had to remind myself to breathe, and it wasn’t until the small creatures of the night began to rustle again that the trance finally broke.
The iridescent magic remained for almost an hour before it finally faded as if reabsorbed by the Mother. Luca and I had continued to meander deeper in—and stars above it was good to just be.
No doubt there’d be consequences waiting for me back at the palace for our reckless excursion, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The truth was, no matter what I decided these days, nothing turned out. So, for tonight, I’d be and let be.
Wanting to walk, I dismounted Luca in a smooth, graceful movement and smiled at how easy it was—apparently there were some benefits to this new body of mine after all.
After a short while, rushing water grabbed my attention and led Luca toward it.
Within a few minutes, the soft forest ground gave way to sand as we broke the treeline’s threshold.
I halted, dropping the reins, and stared at the twin waterfalls greeting us, their beauty cascading through an open crown of the mammoth cave across stone-still waters.
Soft mist poured out from the front, like smoke slipping through a legendary beast’s maw on a sigh of relief.
The lake that separated us from the falls was a mirror of the Clarian Sea, the snow-white sand at the bottom capturing Varo’ light like a welcome beacon.
Without a second thought, I gave in to the water’s summons, needing to wash the day off.
My rucksack made a soft thud on the sand upon being abandoned.
I stripped without a care as I jogged toward the tantalizing waters, leaving a trail of clothing behind until I was uninhibited.
Hastily freeing my hair, I kept pace as my toes hit the shoreline.
Within a few strides the water deepened, and I let it catch my momentum as I fell forward, allowing its embrace to envelop me like a perfectly chilled salve.
Limbs splayed, hair wild, I floated on my back and listened to the churning sound of the waterfalls as I marveled at the star-speckled sky, noting how some stars seemed to flicker like a candle in the wind, while others streaked the midnight sky with their beauty as they fell—I wondered if any of them had reached their new destination, finally finding everything they had hoped for.
Damnation below, had it really only been days since these same stars would’ve witnessed Luca and me streaking across the land in search of our destination?
My thoughts drifted to the before. To when Nevander had carried me into the palace. The truth the fates had shown me of Thaddeus’ betrayal followed next.
“Fuck,” I murmured, rubbing my hands across my face. Righting myself, I moved toward the shoreline a stride or two, then rested on my knees, the water now grazing below my clavicle as I watched the moon’s reflection bob in my wake, thoughts swirling.
Thaddeus had killed my parents—or given the order. A shudder rippled through me, the water echoing the tiny movement. He’d declared he loved me and exchanged blows with Tarrin; that he would take it all back if he could.
It wasn’t until that moment that the sick, twisted truth hit me; I’d bonded with Thaddeus over my parents’ deaths. He was my knight in shining armor, literally whisking me off my feet and offering me safety and shelter—and I’d let him.
I’d fucken let him.
Hands grabbing the sides of my head, I screamed into the darkness with everything I had at the sick and twisted cycle he’d created. The perfect storm for me to bond to him over the trauma he’d inflicted. Gods, I couldn’t have made it easier for him if I tried.
Disgust crept up the back of my throat, and unlike the anger, there was no questioning that it was for myself. I’d willingly spread my legs for him; in this very court. Seven hells, I’d been naive; desperate for any scrap of affection I could cling to.
Two men had shown kindness to me in this life—and despite not being in love with either, I’d bedded both of them.
I couldn’t let myself spiral. Not then. Not there.
I mustered a steady breath and flexed my toes into the silty sand, its cool grit pulling me back from the brink.
It would be so easy to loathe myself. To break.
To blame. Instead, I recognized a deeper truth.
I’d been thrown into one impossible situation after another and blindsided more times than I cared to count.
No, I wouldn’t own Thaddeus’ betrayal. One thing was certain—I’d be damned before I let something like that happen again.
Though, stars knew courting betrayal was near impossible when incapable of trusting—a notion that offered more comfort than it should.
Feeling a slight nip in the air, I needed to get dry. Standing tall, I gathered my hair and wrung it out, only to pause when I tucked it behind my ears, the tips of my fingers absently grazing my ears. I froze in place, momentarily startled.
Strange how something so familiar was now foreign.
I couldn’t avoid the truth forever. Steeling myself, I raised my fingers to explore the curvature of my fae ears, halting a hair’s breath away by some irrational fear.
Being fae was a foregone conclusion. Yet, my heart pounded as I stood frozen in place; tiny rivulets of water rolled off the tips of my hair, tickling the soft skin of my back as they made their way home.
“Don’t be a coward,” I chided.
With shaky fingers, I tentatively traced the new, elegant shape of my ears, surprised to find they were just as malleable as before—if not more so.
“Nyleeria?”
I yelped, swinging around to face the beach only to find a bewildered Endymion at the shore.
“You’re…” he said, drawing out the word.
“Naked. Yes. And you’re staring,” I shot back, grateful my voice and wit didn’t betray my mortification. My only saving grace was that Varos was at my back, shadowing my naked frame. I prayed to the gods it was enough to obscure my features.
His narrowed eyes didn’t so much as trail past the bridge of my nose as he assessed me in the quiet way he always did before saying, “Apologies.” His cool, clipped tone sent gooseflesh skittering up my body, and it took everything inside me not to wrap my arms around myself.
I’d be damned before showing him any hint of embarrassment.
Before I could respond, he leaned over and scooped up my top, holding it toward me as he turned to avert his gaze.
Annoyance shot through me at the gesture. How did he think this would go? He, what? Held out a shirt in a silent command, and I’d slink in shame to obey? It’ll be cold day in this court before that’d happen.
“I’m good, thanks,” I said, popping a hand on my hip. I may have been ready to get out, but I’d do so on my own bloody terms. Not his.
His grip tightened on my shirt, the fabric bunching, the sight of it dusting my lips with a saccharine smile.
“Nyleeria,” he said as if sensing my defiance, patience waning.
“Look,” I shot back, unable to stop myself from digging in, “last I checked, I was expressly told—by you—that this was my home and I should treat it as such. That, Commander is exactly what I’m doing. So, feel free to scurry back to the palace and leave me in peace.”
His jaw tightened, and the proffered shirt dipped a fraction before he turned back to me, his gaze instantly locked on mine. “It’s not safe for you out here until the wards are fully mended.”
“Ah, dangerous indeed,” I mocked, tapping a finger to my chin. “So dangerous, in fact, that Caius sent the one commander in his court with no magic to, what? Fetch me? Protect me? He must be terribly worried about keeping his precious Spark safe if he sent you.”
Endymion’s boots scratched against the sand as he took a step closer, his dominant stature somehow daring me to keep testing him. “You know,” he said, eyes dipping to my lips, “I could just come in there and get you.”
I smirked. “I’m sure you could.” The flicker of untamed emotion he let slip spurred me to turn my back to him. “But we both know you won’t,” I said, throwing the words over my shoulder before diving under.
A dark, heady mirth of defiance fluttered through me, carrying with it a profound sense of satisfaction that seemed to steep deeper the longer it percolated.
I was done being a puppet.