Chapter 37
The Before
Sidrick took a half-step forward. “Tarrin is right.”
The sound of my now-racing heart filled my ears, my magic readying to protect me. I unconsciously took back the distance between Summer’s third commander and myself, pinning Caius with my mounting ire. “Explain.” The single word was a cold, quiet demand I didn’t recognize.
Calmer than the situation dictated, the High Lord leaned back against his desk before he answered. “As my commanders, Artton and Sidrick have pledged an oath to me, which magically binds them against divulging court secrets.”
“Meaning information can’t be tortured out of them,” Tarrin said, running a hand through his hair.
“What does that change?” I asked.
“Everything,” Tarrin answered.
“I don’t understand.”
“Well, it’s a common misconception that the strongest armies win wars,” he explained.
Brows pulling together, I said, “Then what does?”
“Information,” Artton and Tarrin said in unison, both of them looking at each other annoyed. Gods forbid they agree on something.
Thaddeus’ second—if that’s what he still was—faced Caius. “Why sanction a deep recon mission when you could just ask me?”
“Because,” Artton answered, “there’s only one of two reasons we’d find your sorry ass in Father Death’s clutches. Either you’re a plant—”
“Or I was no longer trusted.” Tarrin sighed.
The summer fae tapped his nose twice, and there was no humor in it. The message was clear—either way, he wasn’t trusted, by anyone.
“Then if you don’t think Tarrin offers any value, why bring him with at all?” I asked.
“On one hand,” Artton leaned in, then whispered, “I’m hoping they’ll finish the job.”
“Artton,” Caius warned.
He threw his hands up in a fine motion before continuing as if he wasn’t interrupted.
“On the other hand, the human knows the inner workings, schedules, and layout of where Thaddeus and Wymond reside better than any of us. He’s also patrolled the court a lot, including knowing how to navigate the Wildwoods. In other words, he’s our tour guide.”
“Do the two of you have any other concerns?” Caius said, addressing Tarrin and me.
Knowing I was clearly outmatched in this, deferring to Tarrin. “Just equipment, supplies, timelines, and roles,” he said without hesitation.
“Timeline,” Caius began, “is up to you. You’ve only been awake for a little over twenty-four hours after surviving fatal wounds.”
“Myron left some tonics to help with my muscle recovery and said that if I trained hard for two to three days while taking it hourly during, I’d be back to my previous form.”
Sidrick nodded in agreement. “There was a notable improvement in his stamina and strength between each session this afternoon. I believe he’ll be in fighting form same time tomorrow if we train heavily between now and then.”
“Okay, then,” Caius said. “As I’d prefer for anyone who may have to protect Nyleeria to be at their best, take two more days to train, one for us to finalize things and for you to rest. Then, you’ll leave.”
Feeling the tone shift, I took the others in and could see all three of their warrior masks slip into place.
“Tarrin, you can meet with Yonic, our Weapons Master,” the High Lord said.
“Sidrick will introduce you to him before your next training session. I’ll ensure he’s aware you’re coming and that we’ll need a quick turnaround.
As for roles, it’s simple. My chain of command will be respected.
Is that understood?” Caius didn’t shift from where he half-sat against his desk, but stars could he pull rank with a look alone. One that bored through Tarrin.
He dipped his chin. “Understood.”
Then the High Lord shifted to me, and I had to stop myself from making myself smaller under his commanding focus. “That goes for you too, Nyleeria. Spark or not, chaos will get you all killed.”
I swallowed before nodding. “I understand.”
“Good,” Caius said, clapping his hands and standing up. “That covers everything. Kai will ensure you all have packs filled with supplies by the morning. If you require anything else, just ask her, and we’ll make sure you have it before you leave. Dismissed.”
I made to follow the commanders.
“Nyleeria, I’d like you to stay for a moment, please.”
Please. Well, that couldn’t be good.
Artton paused at the door. “Do you want me for this conversation?”
Caius nodded. “No. You have a lot to prepare before you leave.” They held each other’s gaze longer than necessary, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it meant before Artton nodded once and turned away.
“Here, join me in the sun,” he said, and I followed him to a pair of chairs that were warm enough from baking in the sun that the heat radiated through my clothes.
The High Lord took in a deep breath, his features calming as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, taking a moment to bask in the sun. The late afternoon rays soaked into the exposed skin at the back of my neck and arms, and I had to admit it was nice to just… be, if only for a moment.
“How are you?” he asked after a few minutes.
A humorless, rough-sounding laugh escaped me. “I think it’s best if we don’t crack that particular nut.”
A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest. “No, I suppose not. I wanted to make sure you’re well enough, I suppose.”
Shrugging, I pulled a knee into my chest. After a moment, I said, “Did you know that some forest fires continue to burn over winter, only there are no flames?”
Caius nodded, now watching me intently.
“Well, I kinda feel like that. As if I’m standing atop the depthless snow in the dead of winter, the layers of white protecting me from the smoldering embers below.
I know there’s something below, like one feels a predator in the shadows before they can see it, and I’m afraid of a flash melt.
Of what will happen if I’m forced to feel it all at once. ”
The wooden structure of Caius’ chair creaked under his weight as he shifted forward. “None of us can stop that inferno, not even you, Nyleeria. And we both know that it will hurt when it ignites. But you won’t be alone, and I promise we won’t let it consume you. Okay?”
My throat tightened, stealing my words, so I nodded instead.
“I’m sorry, but there is something I need to tell you that will add kindling to the coals.”
Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath. Letting it go slowly, I wrapped my arms around the leg that I’d lifted onto the chair and rested my chin on my knee. “Just say it, Caius.”
A pained expression crossed his features. “It’s about the vision,” he said, and I looked up at him through hooded eyes, already not liking where this was going. “We believe that only spellcraft can be used to pull magic from you. That’s good news, because it limits who can take it.”
“But it also means it’s not limited to Thaddeus,” I said.
“That is correct. Being a High Lord, if taught, Myron would be able to do it with very minor summoning sickness. Our bodies may not be compatible with human magic, but the healing abilities of a High Lord will negate that. At worst, he might have a headache after.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, but he’d have the spark… so.”
Looking solemn, he nodded. “Myron, Fiora, and myself will continue to search for a way to protect you from this, but until then, our options are limited.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Don’t let anyone utter spells around me, don’t touch anyone who does, and if those two fail, fight with everything I have to suppress my magic?”
“I was going to say slice their throats open before they can finish the spell, but yes.”
I slouched back in my chair, shaking my head. “Good thing I shared the vision.”
Caius shifted to the edge of his seat, leaning over as close to me as he could. “I know you won’t believe me when I say this, but, yes, Nyleeria, it was a good thing. We’d underestimated Thaddeus, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but we underestimated you too.”
I swallowed hard, my chest filling with emotion as we stared at each other, as if both recognizing how much had changed since we’d first met.
I’d given up on sleep early enough that evening that Fenorryn and Varos were just hitting their peaks in the midnight sky.
I watched the second and third moons travel across the stars through their pristine reflections on the calm surface of the lake.
The unusually still air of the night had an eerie quality to it, as if the court itself was holding her breath for what came once morning called.
Fenorryn had begun to tuck himself behind the horizon, meaning predawn was almost here, and Kai coming to wake me wouldn’t be far off now.
The last three days had passed in a blur.
Kaelun, Sidrick, Artton, and even Caius rotated through training magic with me, which I’d done until yesterday afternoon when Caius ordered me to rest—not wanting to risk tapping me before we left.
While I wasn’t nearly as elegant as my fae counterparts at wielding, I’d learned to command the different powers with greater constancy.
Though my arcane magic was still a little chaotic at times.
Caius’ mandated rest meant I could no longer outpace the thoughts hounding me with constant action.
In the quietude after Kaelun had dismissed himself to say his goodbyes and spend some time with the love of his life, those thoughts finally caught their quarry; and apparently, they didn’t care how tired I was; they’d get their pound of flesh.
I was forced to admit that I was scared, and I fucken loathed the feeling.
Give me false bravado. Something to fight.
Stars, I’d take tears over the stomach-dropping feeling that stole my appetite.
I was scared of possibly coming face-to-face with Wymond.
Ideally, we’d sidestep that confrontation altogether.
But a part of me believed I wouldn’t be so lucky when it came to Thaddeus.
Besides, it was different between the king and me—it was personal.