Chapter 64 Within Reach
Within Reach
“Endymion!” I didn’t hesitate before I made for him.
He held a hand up for me to stop, but it was the hard look he gave me that had me halting dead in my tracks. Brows knitting in confusion, my heart thundered in my chest as unease crept through me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice unsteady.
Shaking his head, he said, “I’ve already told you a thousand times, you can’t be here. It’s too dangerous.”
As if to demonstrate this truth, he grabbed a small pebble from his pocket and tossed it forward.
The instant it hit an invisible barrier no more than an arm’s length from him, it sizzled before bursting apart with a loud crack.
I flinched but dared another step forward, even as his expression turned murderous.
“I told you to leave!” he bellowed, but it was fear that radiated off of him, not anger.
I understood then what was happening—if anyone could spot a dream loop, it was me. I cringed inwardly, wondering how many times he’d seen a version of me step through the barrier despite his pleas.
Raising my hands as if approaching a skittish animal, I offered him a soft smile. “Endymion, it’s me.”
Confusion flashed across his stunning features before pained anguish resurfaced. “I can’t watch you die again.” He shook his head. “I just… can’t.”
I didn’t think my shattered heart could fracture more, but it found a way as he stared at me in utter defeat before turning away.
My mind raced to find a way to reach him.
To let him know that it was actually me.
To bring him back from whatever hell had claimed his mind.
Countless ideas came to me, only to be discarded.
Whatever I said or did, it had to be something he wouldn’t know; or he might continue to believe I’m a figment.
Shoulders now drooping, Endymion began to step away.
“I hate the scent of lilacs,” I burst out.
He didn’t turn back, but he halted. “It’s probably the only thing my father and I had in common.
They’re too sweet, and they were everywhere in Thaddeus’ gardens.
I can’t even remember now if I hated them before then or not.
” His posture seemed to lift a little higher, so I continued.
“Mrs. Erikson was my surrogate family. A retired governess who taught me almost everything I know—including how family should love one another.”
He turned to face me then, eyes still wary.
“A village boy named Eithan taught me how to throw, but only because I made a bargain to teach him how to read and write.”
The side of Endymion’s mouth quirked up in amusement as he slowly came back to me.
“He was my first in many ways, but I never loved him—not in a way that I now understand matters to you. And I never loved Thaddeus.” I swallowed, the air feeling thick around me as I found the courage to say my next truth.
“I don’t know what it means to love in that way, Endymion, and the more I think about your declaration, the more terrified I am. ”
Tears began to well in my eyes, and he stepped as close as he dared, his depthless azure gaze holding me captive, and I knew he finally saw me; understood that I was really there.
Needing to say the rest of what plagued my thoughts, I continued.
“I’m scared,” I whispered. “I’m scared of this kintorian bond between us.
I can’t deny it.” I shook my head, tears escaping down my cheeks, and I could tell it took every ounce of restraint he had to stay where he was—deadly barrier be damned.
I took in a breath, willing my heart to slow before I continued. “The Fates have already stolen so many choices from me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry at them for taking this one too.”
He didn’t say a word, just continued to look down at me with kindness. Compassion. And something deeper that I refused to name. “I,” my voice croaked as I tried to dislodge the words, “I’m not sure I know how to let you…” Again. I couldn’t say the one word that hang heavy between us.
A knowing, playful smirk brightened his features. Voice gruff, he said, “Then, my kintora, it’s a good thing we have eternity for you to learn.”
A weak laugh escaped me. “I guess it is.”
Quirking a brow, he said, “Unless you plan to stab yourself with daggers I gift you, that is.” His tone was light, but I could sense the deep hurt beneath the words.
Wanting to keep things light, I said, “I suppose that depends.”
He gave me a devilish grin. “On…”
“If I can stand you for eternity.”
He laughed in earnest before intensity filled his eyes. “Little Star, if you tire of me, then you have my permission to use it on my heart instead; there is no life living if you are not in it.”
My breath hitched, and a confusing mixture of warmth and fear whirled in my chest. Unable to stay with him in that moment, I took a small step back, and a knowing look crossed his features.
Deftly changing the subject, he said, “Where are we?”
I looked around at the void which now seemed to hold more luster than it had when I first arrived. It took a moment to clear my head from the fog of his words to recall what was real.
“After I…” I stuttered, deciding to jump past the words stabbed myself. “Came to, everything was frozen in time.”
“The others?” he asked after our companions.
“Gone. Though I can only pray they’re safe in the Summer Court.”
“And me?”
“I’m not really sure,” I said, then glanced down at my wrist, where the bargain had marked my flesh, and now his. “You weren’t suspended in time like the rest of the court, but you’re…”
“Unconscious,” he offered.
I nodded.
“How long has it been?”
“It’s really hard to say without the sun as a marker.”
His brows furrowed as if displeased by this information. “If you had to guess?” he prodded.
“Judging on how I feel, almost a day. But I honestly have no idea. Worse, I haven’t the faintest idea where in the court we are.”
“I don’t know how much time we have together,” he said, and the shift in tone put me on edge. “Describe our surroundings. We have to get out of the Autumn Court as soon as possible.”
“What the hells do you think I’ve been trying to do?” I snapped.
The outburst was proof of how tightly wound I was.
He offered me a small smile.
Rubbing my face, I let out a long sigh before dropping my hands. Softening, I said, “I’m sorry. It’s just been a lot.”
“Gods, I wish I could hold you right now,” he said with a look that bordered desperation.
“Me too.”
Refusing to dwell on the fact that we were so close, yet impossibly far. Trying to answer his question, I focused on our waking reality, and sent a silent prayer to Lady Time that she’d keep us protected as we both lay there helpless.
As I mined my memory for details of our surroundings, images flickered around us as if my thoughts were being projected.
Endymion’s eyes went as wide as mine with fascination.
Finally, everything snapped into view as we saw through my eyes, and of course the moment it decided to focus was when I’d tripped over the root. I watched his expression, waiting for him to laugh.
He didn’t. Instead, his jaw worked as he chewed on his thoughts—his very displeased thoughts.
“What is it?” I asked, not sure I wanted the answer.
With an effort to hold emotions at bay as he said, “That’s the Bloodwood Forest.”
I scoffed, because of course that fucken court had a forest named Bloodwood. Gods forbid they call it Ruby Forest or something utterly innocuous.
Ignoring my indignation, he continued. “The way you carried me is clever, but Nyla, that forest is only two hours by foot from the palace.”
“No, it’s not,” I said firmly.
He nodded, his face grim. “Something is wrong. With you,” he added, my chest suddenly heavy.
“I don’t know if you’re being affected by time in a strange way, or if it has something to do with whatever is happening to me; but even with you shouldering my weight, your powers should be keeping your body in a better state than you’re in.
You’re weak, hungry, and exhausted. Something is wrong.
” He repeated the last words as if confirming it to himself more than me, and it did nothing to assuage my fears.
Until then, I would’ve sworn on my life that nearly a day had passed.
But he was born in this court. Grew up in it.
Was its commander. He knew it like I knew my way around the Nettorian Mountains.
My instinct was to fight him on this—to insist I was right—but the fear of being recaptured by Wymond was greater than my pride, so I nodded before saying, “What do I do?”
“You need to valen us to the border.”
“But I—”
“Nyla, please,” he cut me off, his words hurried as he looked around us like he could see something I couldn’t. A sudden panic filled me. I didn’t want to leave him. “Have you been to the Autumn-Summer boarder?” he rushed out.
“Once, when I found Tarrin.”
His brows knit as he tucked that revelation away before pressing on. “Picture it in your mind’s eye as best you can. Remember the smell. The detail. Anything you can. Pretend as if you’re already there.”
“But I was focused on Tarrin,” I said.
“You don—” His words were cut out as he flickered. “Make sure—” Again, he faded, then reappeared.
“Endymion!” I called and went for him, barely remembering about the barrier before I stopped myself.
“Don’t go by foot. You must—”
He vanished.
I waited for a long moment, my eyes frantically looking for any sign of him to reappear, only he didn’t.
Then, I was falling.
I jolted awake, finding myself draped over Endymion’s chest. Sitting up, my breaths came in heavy as I tried to rein in my spiraling thoughts.
It was no use. Unable to contain my warring emotions, a guttural scream of pure frustration and anger tore from my lungs.
Needing to feel his presence, I pressed my palms against the ornate leathers protecting him—unfortunately, there was no armor in existence that could save him from whatever had him in its clutches, which terrified me more than Wymond.