28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Astrid
Dying embers light up the middle of the camp, a silver moonflutter flaps its silver wings. Insects call to each other alongside owls and rodents skitter from their clutches. The living silence is interrupted by Embla and Thea's hushed intermingling of snores. I hear a chuckle leave Effie as she watches the other two girls. I continue to work silently cleaning my gilded sword, unwilling to risk damage to the ornate weapon. The ribbed star leaves I found on the trees around us work well to meticulously clean my blade.
“I saw you,” I whisper, breaking my silence. “At the inn.” I decided I didn't want to keep this to myself. Something about what she was doing was secretive enough for her to sneak off. I'm still rebuilding my trust, and secrets in this friendship need to be confronted sooner rather than later.
Her head snaps up, eyes cutting to me. Like there's no way I could know the truth. What secret is she hiding, and why? Can I trust her to get me to Myrr if she is going to lie to me about the simple things?
“We were there together, of course you saw me.” Effie laughs it off, the sound falls awkwardly onto my own ears, like she's trying to brush me off. She really doesn't want me to know about whatever magic they were doing at the inn.
“No,” I say, shaking my head, Effie not looking up from her work. “I mean with the other fae. You were glowing,” I specify, and Effie goes unnaturally still, like she has turned to ice. Does she think this is something I want to be talking to her about? This is awkward, and uncomfortable. I try to pretend like I'm still cleaning my sword until my hands finally stop and I meet her eyes.
"How did you get past the wards?" Effie demands, standing. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Ash, you can't possibly understand what that was about. Humans aren't privy to fae secrets." She recovers, her deep breaths keeping her calm as she stares me down.
"I want to understand." I sheath my now clean sword. There's something whispering in my heart that I need to know about the fae, there is something important I'm supposed to learn. "I need to know. It's important."
"Important for what?"
I crouch, taking Effie's hands in mine, "It doesn't make any sense, but I have this feeling that I've been here before. But I know I've never left the walls of Demendia. It's like there's a lost piece of myself and my mind is trying to put it back together like a puzzle.” I glance down, running a hand through my hair before meeting Effie's eyes again. "So, I need to understand so I can find that part of myself. It feels important." I know it’s a long shot, Effie has no reason to impart the secrets of her species on to me. I just need some kind of answers, something strange is going on here and I don't know how this is all going to end.
"Okay, I'll make you a deal." Effie pats the log next to her; I turn in my seat, scooting closer to her. "I'll tell you, but you can't tell any other human. Not even Embla." She offers me her pinky finger. I stare at her littlest finger, my eyebrows bunch together. "It's called a pinky promise, it’s the weakest bond the fae have. To seal it, we link pinkies together before kissing your own hand," she explains. "It'll bind the deal." She holds her pinky finger out a little farther and a surprised smile spreads across Effie's face as I loop my pinky in hers.
I drop my head to kiss my closed fist, and Effie follows suit. When our lips touch warmth rushes up my hand and into my heart, tingling a little as it eases.
“What was that?” I ask, reclaiming my hand and looking myself over.
“It was the deal settling into place,” Effie says, and her face shines with giddiness as she begins to giggle. "I haven't been able to share myself with anyone since I was a child." She turns to face me, taking both of my hands in hers when she clears her throat. "What you saw is called the ritual of power. When eight or more people come together to pleasure each other." I cringe at the wording. "The red berries bring an unlimited amount of magic to the surface of our skin, and fae can use that magic to replenish their stores. I was so depleted from being inside Demendia's walls. I couldn't wait any longer." Effie calms down, staring at her hands in her lap unable to meet my gaze. She's acting like I'm going to condemn her for something that is completely necessary.
“What would have happened if you waited longer?” I ask quietly, and Effie still can’t meet my eyes, I pick at my nails to keep my hands occupied.
"When a fae expends that much magic, it has to be replenished quickly or risk losing one of their senses. My grandfather lost his eyesight when he expended too much." Effie's voice is low, and I have to lean closer to hear her words. "The walls of Demendia were made to absorb light magic to keep the city safe."
"And you replenish your magic with sex?” I frown, doubting the truth of it, but what do I really know of magic? Nothing really, it was some foreign concept I was forbidden to speak about. I'm not familiar with real magic, other than what I've seen; just the idea of it. This is the first step to me learning more.
"Sex is different for us. I know what you've been taught about abstaining until marriage. But that's not an option for fae. Not until you find your mate, then they alone can sustain you." She sighs, dropping her head into her hands.
"You haven't found your mate?" I tilt my head.
"Not yet." She scrubs her hands down her face. "I'm starting to question if I even have a mate out there. I am so tired of having relations with fae who mean nothing to me." Effie drops her hands into her lap with a quiet groan.
"I'm sure they're out there. You just need to have a little patience."
Effie nods, I wish I could offer more than just encouraging words. There's no telling if mates are even truly a thing. They aren't for humans, who's to say the mate bond is more than a faerie tale to anyone else. "I just turned thirty-five, so I've still got time."
"I thought you were at least a hundred, aren't fae supposed to be old?" I ask, and Effie barks out a laugh, hugging her middle as if I just told the funniest joke.
"Not every fae is hundreds of years old." Her laughter has me leaning backwards and joining her. Our chuckles filling the air around us, nearly knocking us from the log.
"The way you were talking I just thought… never mind." I squeeze the bridge of my nose between my fingers. "I'm going to try to get an hour of sleep at least." I shove off the log moving to my bedroll and settling in for the night. I'm left with my thoughts of how different human and fae life is but somehow we're all just looking for the same thing. Connection.
"How's it going over here?" Thea asks, plopping down beside Effie. I didn't hear her snoring stop, or her rise from her bedroll. I hope we aren't the reason she awoke. I sneak a peek at Embla who is still snoring softly, dead asleep.
"I should be the one asking you, I haven't seen you in years. Are you still working for Popop?" Effie asks, giving Thea a tight smile.
"I am, we've been looking for you for some time," Thea says pointedly. It feels like there's a story beneath her words, but I don't want to pry into something Effie so obviously doesn't want to talk about.
"I've been around," Effie says curtly, her smile growing tighter. "I'm going to get more firewood, you two should try to get some sleep, there isn't much longer until the sun rises and we'll be moving again." Effie stands and disappears into the trees.
"What was that about?" I ask after Effie leaves. That was colder than I thought she would be, especially if they're friends who haven't seen each other in a while. It seemed like Effie just wanted to get away from Thea.
"I don't know," Thea says, shrugging and returning to lay on her bedroll. Something about her answer felt false, but I don't know how much more truth I can handle. I learned my family isn't really related to me, and I'm not the person I thought. If I'm not Astrid Leifsdottir, who am I? Where am I supposed to fit in this world?
“Astrid, stop lagging behind, I’m ready to be home,” Thea calls over her shoulder from where she stands with Em. She decided since we’re headed in the same direction—and the more weapons the better—that we should all travel together. Even if she invited herself, I can’t help but appreciate the smile she is able to put on Embla’s face. Something I haven’t been able to do since we left Demendia. My thoughts turn to the city I was forced to leave behind. The dark gray trees that surround Demendia have all but dissipated since Star Vale. Tall slender trees with trunks of light brown and deep green leaves that light up as the sun hits them. I wonder if our trees have been affected by the illness outside of the city. I can’t help but miss my home, I ache as I think of the amount of people I’ve left behind. I wonder if I did something different if Erik would be here with us now? If only Embla tried to fight, things could have ended up differently.
There’s nothing I do now that will change anything in the past. There is no going back. There is no saving Erik. My mind stops on that thought. There’s no seeing Erik again or hearing his voice. Tears well as guilt crushes against me. Weighing down each of my steps causing me to lag further behind the others. What am I going to do when I return home? I’m going to be blamed for his death, there is no question about that. Blamed for losing one of my only friends. He shouldn’t have died. The soldiers should've given us the time we were due. Anger stokes deep within me begging to be let loose and become a raging inferno of wrath. But I stamp it out, I can’t take that out on Embla. I know who she is. I know what she is and is not willing to do. That’s something that I need to respect. Not just as a person, but as a sister.
The morning light is on the verge of afternoon, exhaustion rolls through me with every step. Only getting one hour of sleep was not a good idea. I’m surprised I was able to fall asleep at all after the events that occurred. The soft dirt path turns into jagged pebbles that grind together with each step I take. I can feel their hard points through the soles of my boots.
“I thought you said Myrr was this way.” I stop at the edge of the cliff, taking in the view of the ocean meeting the horizon.
“I also said it was hidden. Humans, demons and some underlings aren’t permitted in this city,” Effie says, my eyes following the sheer drop that ends in the deep cerulean of the ocean below. Embla sidles up next to me, gawking at the height.
“It’s not so high,” Thea says before diving headfirst off the cliff. I suck in a breath, waiting for her to crash into the sea. From such a height it could be fatal depending on how she lands. A moment before she touches the water, her white feathered wings spread wide catching the wind as she glides over the surface. Thea reaches out a hand, creating a thin trail in the water below.
I glance at Embla who stares, awestruck. Wonder and amazement written on her face. I couldn’t be prouder of the way she has started to accept those around us. I can tell her fear of being outside of Demendia's walls has eased a little. I couldn’t be more thankful. With a few flaps of her wings, Thea lands next to us like she didn’t jump in the first place. The only thing slightly different is her hair, the wind has swept it up at odd angles, just like when we first met.
“Your turn,” Effie says with a mischievous grin, and with a sharp shove to my mid-back I’m falling over the cliff’s edge. There isn’t enough time for me to scream before I’m careening toward the sea below with Embla right next to me.
My scream rips from my throat as I plummet, the wind swallows all sounds as it invades my ears. The air slips through my fingers as I try to find anything to grab onto, to stop my descent. To save me. To save my sister who didn’t deserve this. My hand grazes another and I latch on, interlocking fingers with Embla. I continue looking for a way to save us, looking for a way out. But as the water comes closer it’s clear that this is it. This is the end, and in this ending, we only have each other.
I squeeze Embla’s hand, bracing for impact. The water becomes close enough that I can see the colorful fish going about their daily lives as they swim beneath the crystal-clear water. I clamp my eyelids down. My last thought is of hope that the next world is better than this one. All I can feel is gratitude that Embla will be the last person I see in this life.
Embla’s scream peters off as the wind folds around us, gently caressing as it wraps us in a protective shell of air. The wind rages, creating the balls that now hold us. The inside is oddly peaceful as I try to catch my breath, meeting Embla’s eyes from where she does the same in her own sphere of wind.
“What is this?” Embla half shrieks on the verge of hysterics once more.
“More magic, it has to be.” My voice is soft but echoes through the sphere around me as it carries us to a small cave-like opening facing the ocean. Hidden against the cliff face, out of view of anyone trying to peer over the edge. The entrance is perfectly round. On the edge of the cave is a single arch of azure crystal that glimmers in the light.
The ball of wind dissipates, dropping us on the cold hard stone floor of the cave in a heap of limbs next to the arch. Effie glides in with her sphere, landing gracefully next to us as Embla and I try to untangle ourselves.
“A little warning would’ve been fucking nice,” I snap as I stand, whirling to face Effie as I swipe at the dirt on my butt and will my knees to stop trembling. I almost died, I almost watched Embla die. My breathing picks up, and I’m forced to slow it down, so I don’t hyperventilate. I don’t know how I've survived this long outside Demendia.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Effie asks as a smile stretched across her face. “Someone didn’t tell me on my first trip to Myrr."
"Me either!" Thea chimes in smiling innocently gliding into the circular cave mouth and alighting silently.
"I figured I should keep up tradition.” Effie shrugs, approaching the curved crystal in the center of the cave mouth. “You were perfectly safe.” Her tone is matter-of-fact as she places her hand on the light blue stone arch.
“I would’ve caught you two if something were amiss,” Thea adds, my eyes tracking their every move incredulously. It was a cruel joke that I can't believe Effie would participate in. A laugh barks out of Embla, and I jump, surprised by the sudden noise. When I turn to face my sister, she deteriorates into a fit of giggles that fills the space. I can’t help but allow my own laughter to bubble over my lips. I laugh at the ridiculous situation we've found ourselves in, and the fact that this was never where I thought I would end up. I can't imagine what is going through Embla's head.
“It was fun, can we do it again? Without the fear for our lives?” Embla asks her giggles morphing into hiccups. I've never known her to enjoy anything risky, she's never been an adrenaline chaser.
“Maybe next time, Em, we need to get to this hidden city and get this mess dealt with.” I shoot my sister an apologetic smile. I turn my attention to Effie. “What is that?” I ask stalking around the arch.
“The Gate of Wind and Sea, a portal of sorts. Its magic is what caught you.” Effie runs a hand over the stone reverently. "It's a piece of the past, a magic that has been forgotten."
I step in close to get a better look. Colors unravel in the clear blue crystal beckoning to me. Intricate symbols swirl under the crystal's surface, never staying still long enough for me to identify them. The compulsion to step through the arch pushes against my mind heavily. I lift my foot ready to step through it when Effie’s hand shoots out, halting me.
“You can’t, not yet." She eyes my boots that are centimeters from crossing into the arch. "It will steal your soul if you step through before it has been activated,” Effie says solemnly.
I can’t imagine a time where fae and humans lived together in harmony. It seems impossible with the traps laid for each other. I let Effie take my place as she fluidly draws a dagger from her boot. I recognize it with a small smile as the one I gave her.
Without hesitation, Effie slices her palm open, laying it on the stone. Blood seeps from the wound into the crystal turning the beautiful colors black. Her eyes flutter closed, her voice rising and falling in her elegant language as she chants. Its rhythm flows from Effie's tongue and washes over me. The wind picks up speed and my hair whips around my face. Tiny tornadoes form touching down and filling the cave. They rush forward converging into the portal, creating a large vortex that reaches from the arch to the ocean. Pulling water up and into the gate to form a whirlpool housed within the black crystal structure. I rub my eyes making sure what I witnessed wasn't an illusion. I’ve seen Effie use magic, but this—I’ve never seen it to this degree. Will this thing take us to Myrr? I'm scared it'll drop me in the middle of the ocean because I'm human.
“Now we can go through.” Effie holds out a hand to me, and Thea offers her outstretched fingers to Embla. Butterflies kick up in my stomach, what if the people of Myrr hate me? Everyone will love Embla, they always do, but what if they refuse me? I hesitantly place my hand in Effie’s. I take one last look at Embla, her white hair dancing along with mine, it licks at her soft face. Her golden eyes and the life I see there reminds me of the sun. My sister stands one hand clasping the other at the elbow and her throat bobs as she edges closer to the portal. Her free hand fingers her locket.
“Are you ready?” Thea has to shout over the raging wind, silhouetted by the flow of the gate. Embla's gaze darts between the three of us looking at her expectantly.
“I can’t!” her voice quivers as she yells over the raging winds, stepping away from Thea, from me. Her throat bobs and her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.
“Yes you can, because we’re going to do it together,” Thea encourages stepping towards my sister. I don’t know how long the gate will stay open. Thea doesn't rush; she's calm as she approaches my sister. It reminds me of the way I've seen ranchers approach terrified woolly cows.
“It might be scary, but it could also be fun too,” I insist. “We have to save Papa, Reyna, and return to Mama. But we can’t do that without first doing this.” Thea reaches out, offering a hand to Embla who whimpers, Thea's face softens as tears slide down her cheeks. Em's internal argument plays out on her face before a look of determination takes over. She sets her jaw, swiping at her cheeks, Embla nods. Allowing Thea to guide her back to us. As one, we step through the portal and into the unknown.