39. Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Embla
A new city where I barely know anyone. Magic all around me. I know Astrid said I wouldn’t be allowed to leave the tavern, but I don’t think I even want to ever leave my room. There are faeries out there like the ones who gave me my white hair and changed my life that one day. Are they the same ones? Will they recognize me? Fear has me frozen on the edge of my bed, the same place I have been since I got out of my shower this morning. The plush towel still wrapped around my torso.
A soft knock pulls me from my thoughts. I move across the room and open the door to reveal Thea with a plate heaped with food.
“I didn’t see you at breakfast this morning so I wanted to bring you something,” she says, lifting the plate, and I step aside so she can walk in.
“I’m not hungry,” I say in way of explanation. When my stomach rumbles giving me away, Thea chuckles.
“Maybe you should eat something just in case?” She sets the plate down on the table and pulls a set of silverware from her pocket. I hesitate near the bed, still wrapped in my towel, but I nod before walking over and sitting in the chair she pulls out for me. I start eating as my eyes track her. She twirls through the room,her pastel purple hair bouncing up with the momentum until she stops at the dresser. She opens one of the drawers pulling out a few articles of clothes. Butterflies flutter in my stomach reminding me of when I met Phoebe all those years ago. I’ll never let someone get hurt like that because of how much I love them. I miss her laugh the most I think, the way it just made me want to join in. I sigh, pushing the food around my plate, suddenly losing my appetite.
“You didn’t eat much, are you okay?” Thea says, looking me over assessingly.
“I think I’m going to put some clothes on and then finish,” I say. I don’t know if I will ever be okay again, I’ve lost everything, and almost everyone. The only things I brought with me were a few heavy skirted dresses that won’t fit in among this city and a photograph. I don’t have anything to wear, I don’t have anything anymore. I don’t have a home, I don’t have Phoebe, or Papa. I can’t go visit Mama. I should have stayed home. Tears well in my eyes and I can’t stop them once they start as these thoughts crowd through my mind not leaving room for anything else. I dissolve into a puddle; tears leaking down my cheeks. Sobs shove their way out of my throat no matter how I try to stop them.
“Riaya. ” Thea hesitantly approaches me, like she’s approaching a dangerous animal. Slow and calm. “You must eat more than two bites,” she says, guiding me back to my chair at the table. She pulls up a seat so she can sit next to me. I really don’t want to eat; I just want to wallow in these feelings. Tears still trickle down my cheeks, but the sobs have subsided enough for me to say something.
“I don’t—”
Thea places her hands on my knees, using a napkin from the table to wipe the tears from my eyes. “You just spent days traveling, limited time sleeping. You need something to regain your strength.” She doesn’t waver as she picks up the fork and pulls the plate closer. I watch, disbelieving as she shovels the fork full of the omelet that takes up half the plate. She imitates an airplane as she guides it to my mouth. I refuse to open at first, feeling like a toddler, but my stomach grumbles again and before I can stop myself, my mouth opens. She spoons the bite in. I chew for a few seconds and then she’s ready with another. We continue like this until the plate is empty. I’ve never had someone care that I eat. I was always the one making sure everyone else was taken care of.
“I know the best thing to do when you’re having big feelings, but I’m going to need you to put these on,” she says, holding up a pair of thick boot-cut blue jean overalls.
“I don’t wear pants.” I sniff, swiping at the remaining tears and snot leaking from my face.
“I promise you it’ll be worth it,” Thea says. Hesitantly I agree, taking the clothes and disappearing into the bathroom.
"Dwellin, do you think you could shift a couple of rooms around for me?" I hear Thea ask from the other side of the door. I wonder what she plans on taking me to do. I pull on the baggy overalls and glance at myself in the mirror. Grimacing at how the clothes hang off me. Thea is so ethereal and beautiful. She knows exactly what to do and what to say. Then here I am in baggy clothes, uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't understand why she's helping me as much as she is. I don't know what I did to deserve this, or if I even deserve this. I take a deep breath knowing the beautiful winged woman on the other side of the door has plans for us, and I step out of the bathroom to confront her.
"You look great." Thea's eyes light up as she offers me a smile I am unable to return. Genuine appreciation shines in her eyes as they roll over my body.
"I feel silly." I flap my arms a little, letting them fall to my side.
"You'll prefer these clothes once I show you what I want to," Thea says, looping her arm in mine and she leads me down the hall. Her periwinkle hair gleams in the warm light of the sconces that line the walls and her lavender eyes shine with a secret I long to be a part of. I want to be a part of everything she does. Maybe one day I'll feel the warmth of her embrace, and the gentle caress of her lips on mine. No, I will not let myself think that way. I stop my thoughts in their tracks as fear crawls up my back. I cannot let her end up the same way Phoebe did.
We climb stairwell after stairwell, passing balconies that are open to the highest branches. When we get even higher, I stop at one of the balconies, stepping out on a branch. A soft gasp leaves my lips as I look over the sea of trees below, but above me there are ships docked at the tallest tree in the center of the city. Ships that float through the air.
"Beautiful aren't they?" Thea asks, her voice in my ear and her breath tickling my neck. I didn't notice her follow me out here.
"Amazing."
"Take it from someone who spent a good number of years on board one of them, they aren't half as amazing as you." Thea steps in front of me, moving hair from my face, and warmth pools in my stomach at the pure emotion hidden beneath the surface of her eyes. "I'll take you some time," she promises before walking back to the balcony entrance. She pauses half way back looking over her shoulder for me. I follow curious as to what this is between us, and where she is taking me.
"I'm not completely set up in the second room, but I have appetizers in the first room," Dwellin's automated voice sounds over the speaker next to the door. Excitement radiates off Thea, her smile beaming as she claps her hands. The room is empty, but bats, saws, crowbars, swords, axes, other kinds of weapons of destruction line one wall. Along the other is a table of teacups, small plates, mugs, and short glasses.
"What're we doing? Having a tea party?" I turn to Thea, wondering what exactly she signed me up for. But when I look directly in her eyes, I can’t think of anything other than how her lips would feel on mine. Instead of responding, she walks over to the table of appetizers as Dwellin called them, and a grin stretches across her face. Picking up one of the teacups, it’s beautiful really. Something I could only dream of owning in Demendia. Gold flecks and honey suckles decorate the sides. I gasp as I watch the dish fly from her hand to shatter against the wall. Another appears in its place on the table.
"Not the kind of tea party you're thinking of." Thea picks up another teacup and tosses it underhand in my direction. My hand flies up out of instinct to catch the fragile cup. I couldn't possibly break something this beautiful. I look up at Thea and catch the wild look in her eyes before looking back down at the teacup identical to the last one. I want to know freedom like that. I rear back and throw it against the floor at my feet. With that single act of destruction, rage is all I know. I can feel the cruel grin that stretches over my face as I snatch up a bat from where it leans against the wall. Raising it over my head, all I want is to hurt everyone who has hurt me and my family. I want to go back to how things were before, when I felt safe at home. A small voice asks the question I have been trying to avoid since leaving, was I ever safe in the first place? More breakable items appear and I swing the bat harder and harder.
"The main course is ready." Dwellin announces through the room, and the door along the back swings open to reveal large porcelain vases, sheets of glass, and even more weapons to use. I release a scream of primal rage, the sound of loneliness, hurt, and sadness as I take every emotion and put them into each swing of my bat. Thea hasn't joined me yet, and I can't let go of the desire to have her close to me. I turn in a circle searching the room, and I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks when my eyes meet hers. Thea stands back and watches, a smug look of knowing on her face. Her arms crossed as she rests against the wall a safe distance away. God, she's so beautiful .
"Are you going to do this with me or what?" I watch a fire creep into her eyes and I can't help wanting to unearth more.
"Let me show you what it truly means to be free." Thea picks up an ax taking up the spot next to me.