47. Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Seven
Embla
I don’t see Thea the next morning like I thought I would even though she was supposed to be back from that mission for the King. I consider finding Astrid, no doubt she returned to the library with Augustus. I haven’t seen her since our conversation about Alhena’s visit. I’m still frustrated that Ash can’t understand the choices I’ve made, and the fact that I want a future in Demendia even after our wayward adventure. So, instead of hunting down my sister, I spend some time wandering through the halls of the tavern after breakfast until afternoon comes and goes. I return to my room and watch the day turn to dusk from my window.
“Hey, what’re you doing right now?” Roan asks, poking his head through the door.
“Watching the sky turn colors, thinking about what it would look like as a painting.” The way the colors blend and if I would be able to capture that blend on canvas. My fingers have started to itch at the lack of a creative outlet. Like my skin is crawling with imaginative energy that is desperate to be released. But he wouldn’t understand.
“Do you want to go somewhere with me? Outside of the tavern?” His words pull me from my reverie of color, and I turn to meet his hazel eyes.
“I thought you would never ask,” I say with a smile. I’ve been waiting for him to ask me out when I agreed to court him, but I feel like I’ve seen more of Thea around than him. I grab a pair of shoes and slip on a sweater I pull from one of the dresser drawers. I hurry to follow him into the lobby, out the door, and into the street.
The trunks and branches of the trees are wound with lights and they flow in the fading light of day. We walk through the city, and the trees become farther apart as we grow closer to the center. A large willow tree with healthy vines of purple and blue cascade into the street. People walk up to it and place their hands against the bark closing their eyes.
“This is Mother Willow.” I can feel Roan’s warm gaze on my face as I drink in the image in front of me. Blue, purple, and pink streak the tree’s vines, her pale trunk is larger than any in Myrr. I long to touch it and feel the rough old trunk with my own hands. I can’t help but wonder if I could paint that texture and come anywhere close to it. The urge to go get my paints floods me for the first time in days, and a soft smile curves my lips. I know paint and canvas couple never capture the magic that can be felt in the air, but I still want to try. “She’s the first tree, the oldest of those here, and the largest.”
“Does she talk?” I breathe, taking a step forward.
“Go press your palm against her trunk, see if she will bless you,” Roan smiles, and I hesitate second guessing it, but some silent force encourages me. I jog across the small expanse of moss street that separates me from her. The trunk looms over me in its size. Ten people couldn’t fit their arms around her trunk. The world turns purple and blue as her vines create a curtain, shrouding me in the Willow’s light. There are a couple of other people who have their eyes closed, and palms pressed into the trunk. I watch as they remove their hands, bow slightly, and walk off as they all finish at the same time. Leaving me and Mother Willow alone. I look at my palm for a second, wondering if this is a bad idea, but before I can answer the question for myself, I’m stretching out my arm laying my hand against her trunk. My eyes flutter closed as I pull in a deep breath of air, doing my best to clear my mind.
I feel like I’m falling, and then I’m in a meadow. Tall golden sunroses reach for the sky, their gilded petals gleaming in the light. A pond takes up a portion of the meadow and bending at the water line is a woman with white, golden hair, and brilliant eyes wearing a gown of molten sunlight.
Mother Willow, bless me, my silent plea floats through the space between us, and she stands suddenly. Turning in surprise.
Child of Eris, you’ve lost yourself. I do not remember you being bound the last time I saw you. Her voice floats through the space between us but her lips don’t move.
Eris? Bound? Last time? Do you know me? The questions rattle through my head so quickly I worry they aren’t going to stop. There is so much that I still need to find out about this world, the high faeries, and what they did to me when I was a kid.
You must reclaim what you’ve lost, young one. That dome took more from you than you realize. I bless you, my child. You must find what you have lost, remember what you’ve forgotten.
A warm wind blows over my face as the view around me blurs and I’m shoved back into my own body. I stand cradling my palm as I imprint every word that was spoken into my mind. She called me a child of Eris,and I don’t know who Eris is, or what it means to be bound. But Mother Willow knows something, and I must figure out her riddles to learn the truth. This might give me answers as to why the faeries came to me, and what that orb was. It hasn’t bothered me in a long time because I knew in Demendia there was no finding answers. With magic banned, I could only pray that magic didn’t manifest inside of me, and after I got my locket nothing really changed except my eyes and my hair color.
My fingers go to my locket, as I twirl it to the rhythm of my thoughts. I turn around in place to face the vines that separate me from the outside world. I don’t know how much of this I should share with anyone until I know what’s going on. Astrid would probably freak out if I told her. She already doesn’t want me leaving the tavern. No, telling her would just start another fight about needing to learn how to defend myself. What if it’s something bad, something that isn’t allowed in the city? No, I’ll figure out what's wrong on my own and then just go from there. I swipe a hand over my face, trying to wipe away the confusion before I step out from under the safety of Mother Willow’s vines.
Night has settled throughout Myrr, the dying light has faded completely to darkness. The streets are lined with lanterns that light the way adding to the lights that glow from the trees. Roan remains seated in the grass on the other side of the street while he waits. He twirls a small bouquet of wildflowers in between his fingers until he spots me. He scrambles to his feet and meets me in the middle of the moss street.
“I picked these for you,” he says sheepishly, offering me the bouquet, and I accept with a smile. He can be so sweet sometimes. “How did it go?”
“I need to learn more about the faeries,” I say in answer, and Roan gives me a questioning look.
“Why? They’re pretty secretive. They don’t even let fae into their forest.” His hand rubs the back of his neck. “Thea would be the best person to ask since she is a faerie,” he admits, but would she be able to answer the questions that I have, about what has been done to me?
“I haven’t seen her since she left on that mission for King Ephraim.” I hope she’s okay, I feel like it’s been so long since I saw her last when in reality it’s only been a day.
“If she’s not back tomorrow, maybe we can track down the faerie representative. What is it exactly you want to know?” Roan says, his eyes roving over Mother Willow.
“Who is Eris?” I say starting with the simplest of my questions, and Roan’s eyes grow round.
“Who is Eris?” he repeats, looking me over. “You truly know nothing about this world, do you?”
“If you know who it is just tell me,” I say exhausted, after getting a riddle, I don’t have the patience to be toyed with and I will snap if I need to. I place my hands on my hips channeling Astrid in my stance, and her stubbornness in my face to show that I’m not going back to the tavern until he tells me what I want to know.
“She’s Mother Earth, she is nature itself. One of the eight gods and goddesses betrayed by Hel.” Roan says it like I should already know this. “They created our world, and us. All living creatures actually,”
“Was Malia one of them?” I ask, and Roan shakes his head.
“There was Solaria who fell in love with Eris, Astraeus who loved Hekate, Tyr who loved Sif, Hel who chose his fate, and Tiamat who was made for him. Who disappeared after his rejection,” Roan says, ticking a finger with each name. I consider it for a second, wondering where Malia could have come from if not from outside the walls of Demendia. I start walking down the street the way we came, and Roan sticks close to my side.
“Do Gods walk the earth?” I ask quietly, wondering if I was lied to about that as well.
“Not anymore, not since the dawn of the Demon War. They left thinking it would protect us.” Roan wraps an arm around my waist pulling me close as we walk. Stumbling over my own two feet, I fall into his arms. His warmth wraps around me, and I can’t help but inhale his scent. His hazel eyes find mine, and suddenly I’m swimming in shades of brown and green. I want to kiss him, and I know that sparkle in his eye is him wanting the same thing I do. His gaze dips to my lips, asking permission and I nearly give it. When a sharp sound breaks through the air.
“Maow.” The loud noise ends with a deeper tone, and it sounds like an animal in pain.
“What the hell is that?” I ask wriggling out of Roans arms to glance around the long grass that covers the gaps between the trees here.
“Mauow.” This one ends on a higher note, but still sounding like an animal in pain is crying out for help. I search through the tall grass, parting it in places. I part it one last time and find a fuzzy blond head with fluffy antennae that curl from over its forehead and taper at the ends. It's almost cat-like, the blonde and white fur calling me to touch it. I bet this little vixen is soft. Six legs are curled under its body where it lays. I step closer to get a better look and the little creature slowly blinks, that’s when I notice the large eyes on each side of the feline’s head are accompanied by two smaller eyes that sit more toward the antennae. Blonde and white wings are folded flat against its back, and when it goes to try to move them, a mewl escapes its lips.
“It’s a Kith,” Roan says, curiosity lacing his voice . “I think it’s hurt, we better take it back to the tavern.”
“Is it going to hurt me?” I ask crouching a little way from it, and before Roan can respond the kith stands, gently picking its way through the grass to curl up in my lap.
“They won’t kill you, but they don’t usually do that,” Roan muses, and I can hear the wonder in his voice. I wrap my arms around the creature and follow Roan back to the tavern.
“I’d go in with you, but I have work at the Palace I must go see about,” Roan says when we get to the door of The Fallen General’s Tavern, I can’t help the disappointment that laces through me.
“Good night then, I’ll see you at breakfast.” I don’t let him hear the disappointment in my tone as I square my shoulders and walk through the door.
Fires roar in the hearths of the tavern. It’s nearly empty tonight, the few ogres who came in roar with a toast from their table followed with the bangs of their tankards being slammed down. I don’t want Augustus to know I’m bringing a kith into his establishment, not for fear of him saying no. I bundled the fuzzy creature carefully under my sweater and thankfully she stays still until we can get through the elevator to my room.
I place the kith on the bed and just stare at her. “I have no idea how to take care of you,” I whisper more to myself.
“Meh-gow mah.” The kith chirps like she’s trying to respond to me.
“Maybe we can start with a name,” I suggest, and she chirps her agreement. “What about...” I trail off, thinking. “Blondie!” I say rattling out the first name-like word that comes to mind.
The kith makes a disgruntled “ mmf . ” that I take as a no way in hell .
“You don’t have to be rude,” I say, narrowing my eyes, “What about Aine?” I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed, and she seems to perk up. She stands stretching before she comes over to me. She headbutts my hand , rubbing her cheek into my palm before climbing into my lap. Placing her paws on my chest, she starts making biscuits until a golden glow illuminates the space in between us, and a string appears reaching from my heart to her binding us together as one.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask, waiting for a wall of wind to erupt from between us. That’s what happened the last time something glowing decided to implant itself in my chest.
The bond, a sassy feminine voice says, and I look down at Aine where she sits. It happened when you named me. You’re one weird looking fae though, you’re missing the pointed ears.
“You can talk now?” I ask, frozen in place; this was not what I expected. I thought I would nurse her back to health and release her into the wild where I found her. What am I going to do? I don’t even know if animals are allowed in the tavern.
I was talking before but you can’t understand Kittish until you’re bonded. Now you don’t even have to speak out loud if you don’t want to. A soft knock on my door interrupts my internal panic creating an entirely new one.
“You have to hide,” I whisper and Aine jumps from the bed scurrying underneath it and out of sight as I go to the door to open it.
Thea stands at my door, a tired smile on her face, and the bags under her eyes are a little more pronounced, “Oh, thank god you’re okay,” I say, wrapping my arms around her. She hesitates before she returns the embrace, “Where have you been?” I ask ushering her inside.
She takes a seat on my couch, and I don’t even ask if she wants tea as I set the kettle on its warmer.
“I had to help the king, and the mission took a bit longer than either of us could have anticipated,” she admits, dropping her head in her hands.
“What happened? Is everything okay?” I ask sitting next to her, rubbing her back just wanting to have some kind of physical connection with her after she’s been gone for so long.
“Yeah, don’t worry. It was taken care of,” Thea says, lifting her head to offer me a reassuring smile. “What have you been up to in my absence?”
“Well, I was actually hoping to see you tonight or tomorrow, something happened,” I say, bringing my hands into my laps as I pick at my nails.
“You’re going to have to tell me what happened if I’m going to help,” Thea says, but before I can say anything Aine comes running into the open from under the bed straight into my lap.
“Aine, I wasn’t ready yet,” I scold before wrapping my arms around her.
Okay, well I didn’t want to stay hidden. She seems nice, Aine’s voice sounds inside of my mind, and I narrow my eyes at her.
“How did you bond with a kith? You’re a human and they only bond with fae,” Thea says scratching Aine’s chin.
“Roan took me to Mother Willow, and I found her,” I say shrugging. “She seemed like there was something wrong with her wings. I was hoping you would know what to do.” Thea leans in close to inspect Aine’s wings, lifting them here and there.
“She’s just young, she probably got separated from her litter while looking for you,” Thea says with a proud smile.
“Looking for me?”
“That’s how a kith bonds. If it senses the one it is to be bonded with there’s no stopping them from finding their person. They usually only bond with female fae warriors. It seems you are an exception.” Thea considers for a moment. “Do you even know how to take care of a kith?”
“I’m not even sure what a kith is,” I admit, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.
“She’ll let you know when she gets hungry, at this age they can survive off sugar water and some meats, but I’ll take you tomorrow to get everything you need. I should probably get to bed soon, I just wanted to let you know that I was okay.”
You’re going to let her leave? Why don’t you ask her to stay? Aine’s voice whispers into my mind, I can feel how much you care for her, and she seems like she could use the company.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight... with me,” I offer, nervous energy crawling its way into my throat. Thea’s eyes shoot to me, surprise written in the way her eyes widen.
“As much as I would like to take you up on that offer, until you figure out what’s going on between you and Roan, I don’t want to overstep,” Thea says smirking as she stands, “I’ll see you in the morning.” She throws over her shoulder as she leaves.
Aine stays close to me throughout the night and as much as I wish sleep would consume and take me I can’t stop thinking about what Thea said. Kiths know who they are to be bonded to, it’s like a sense. Am I supposed to be here in Myrr? The questions stirs something deep within me, a need to know what the high faeries did to me that day in the woods. I consider sneaking out and trying to break into the library, but something tells me I won’t find what I want in there. If faeries are so secretive they wouldn’t keep any information in Myrr. I fling myself on my bed, wondering if I should try to cross the white bridge into the Bjartr Forest or if the magic that keeps fae out would keep me out as well.
After lying there for a while, a soft knock stirs me enough to open the door.
"I have something for you." A smiling Thea beams, her shoulder-length tousled periwinkle hair seems more out of place than it was earlier.
"What is it?" my tone is less than amused as I cross my arms over her chest. I have every intention of learning as much about the faeries today. I don’t know if I want to entertain fun.
"Oh, don't be like that, it's a surprise you'll like." Thea pauses, her eyes roving over my body. She studies the Demendian nightgown I still insist on wearing. It’s a piece of home I’m not quite ready to give up. "Have you showered?"
“Not yet this morning, but I really haven’t gotten the day started yet.” I study her. She seems different, I wonder what she saw on her mission for the king, where she went.
"I'll stay in here and keep guard, go shower. I’ll pick you out something to wear." Thea says gently running her hands down my arms before gently turning me toward the door of the bathroom, "I'll be out here if you need me." I nod, uncertain why Thea is so kind to me when she has no reason to be.
I step out of the shower renewed and smelling like jasmine and oranges. Heading back into my room with a towel wrapped around me, I find Thea sitting on my bed. Her smile beams when I enter the room, and I try to ignore the butterflies that take flight in my stomach.
"Does it matter what I wear for this surprise?" my voice is soft as I walk to the wardrobe, throwing the doors open. I’ve looked over these clothes before and none of them would be permitted inside of Demendia.
"I actually picked this out for you.” Thea motions to a pastel pink dress with small yellow flowers twining with green vines that is laid out next to her. It doesn’t take me long to pull it over my head, letting the soft material settle around my body. I’m surprised when the skirt ends mid-way down my calves.
"This is too short, I need to find something else," I say, and Thea's eyes widen in surprise. She hops off the bed and takes a few steps to close the gap between us.
"It's plenty long," Thea says, but I just shake my head rooting through the wardrobe to find something else.
"It has to touch my feet or the Shadow—"
"There are no Shadow Guards here, this is the style of dress in Myrr. Are you uncomfortable or are you afraid of what you left behind?" Thea's words are gentle as she cups my cheek with her hand. Even with her rough calluses, I can't help but lean into the touch.
"I don't know, I just don't want to do anything that will jeopardize the asylum we've been granted. What if—"
"Stop," Thea commands, tilting my chin and forcing our eyes to meet. "You can't predict what is going to happen, leave the what ifs to me."
"To you? Why? You can't tell the future. No one can. It's like playing a guessing game on how your life will go." I tear my face out of her grip.
Thea's wings ruffle at that. "I may not be able to see the future with these eyes." She motions to her lilac eyes. "But I have my ways, and if I see anything bad in your future I will tell you and I will help you fix it so you have the future you want. Not the future others want for you."
Sighing I run a hand through my hair as I turn away from Thea. I try to think of a rebuttal that doesn't sound like something a toddler would say but can't. I sigh again, nodding in acceptance.
"Okay, but what is this surprise you came to tell me about?"
Thea leads me down on the veranda. A trellis lines the railing obstructing any of the winged faeries from landing inside. Green vines climb the lattice with pink bell-shaped flowers, and though this is the first time I am seeing them, they immediately become my favorite. In the middle of the wood floor are two easels that overflow with paints and brushes. Blank canvases wait for their artists.
"Thea," I breathe, overwhelmed with the joy of being able to paint. "You didn't have to do this." I turn to the feather-winged faerie.
"I thought it would bring you some comfort, having something familiar to occupy your time. I haven't painted in years but I figured I could join you. That is if it's okay with you," Thea says as I step up to one of the easels.
"I would love that." I can feel the heat of blush creep across her face. I’ve never had someone who wanted to paint with me. The girls in Demendia were always preoccupied with finding the right match or taking care of their family. They didn't have time for things like hobbies.
The hours pass without acknowledgment as I work to block in the colors of the trellis and the bell flower plants that wind their way through it. Thea is painting something in the city, and her wings help her hover above the trellis to get a better glance at what it is she's painting.
A glob of paint splatters against my shoulder, coating my dress in brilliant indigo that jolts me out of hyper focused concentration.
"Hey!" I cry throwing my paint brush into the glass jar of water in the cup holder of the easel. "My dress," I complain, looking over the damage.
"I didn't mean to." Thea’s hands hover around the ruined fabric like she isn't sure how to help. "It fell off my paintbrush before I could catch it." She turns back to her easel picking up a few of the towels we were using to clean off our brushes. She turns back to help salvage my dress when electric purple splatters against her chest. Thea freezes, lifting her head to meet my eyes, catching the glint of mischief as it flits across.
"Oh, it’s on," Thea says, swiping a hand across her palette and flings it at me and I try to duck, only to get nailed directly in the face by a deep green paint. I smirk under the hue, picking up tubes of paint, and squirting them at Thea. We both dissolve into a fit of giggles and flying paint.
I go to toss another glob at Thea when I trip over my easel, holding out my arms to catch myself. Thea's arms wrap around my waist, saving me from the hard landing.
"Thank you," I whisper, staring up into Thea's violet eyes, butterflies returning to my stomach as my gaze dips to Thea's lips. The urge to press mine to hers fills me, but so does the image of Phoebe the last time I saw her sitting in that dingy dungeon cell. Involuntarily, I scramble away.
“I’ve got to go check on Aine,” I say, throwing the excuse behind my back before taking off back to my room.
“Should we see what’s in the Bjartr forest, Aine?” I ask my kith after showering all the paint from my body. She promptly flops to her back on the bed showing me her belly.
“Mehr-ow,” Aine chirps her consent, But I’m not moving until you pet my stomach. Chuckling, I stop pacing and go to pet her fuzz covered belly only for razor sharp claws to capture my hand, batting it around for a second before letting me go. Now we can leave. Aine says into my mind as she stands and stretches, pressing the center of her back toward the sky before walking to the shut door.
“Dwellin, where is everyone?” I whisper as I approach the door.
“It seems everyone staying here has turned in for the evening,” his stiff voice responds, and I make my decision. I pull my door open, checking both ways down the hall before I beeline it for the ground floor, and then the door that lets me out into the cool night air. I carry Aine as we move through the streets, and though it’s been a few days I’m able to retrace my steps to the white bridge with lions that guard the entrance. Effie said they won’t let anyone but a faerie pass, but maybe I’ll be the exception because of Aine. She has wings. I think about closing my eyes as I move over the bridge, but I can feel the lion's gaze heat my skin as I pass.
The bridge rumbles under my feet before it settles, and I step off the white stone onto the green grass on the other side. Trees with pale trunks litter the ground, their limbs glowing with soft pink and purple leaves. There’s a hum to the air, I squeeze Aine a little tighter and follow the noise. A small pond surrounded by trees and seven women. Each with three pairs of wings, they stand completely naked, their eyes closed and upturned to the moon. Their humming grows, wings fluttering to raise them off the ground as they begin to sing. Their voices like nothing I have heard before, they sound of the rain, the forest, of magic itself. A song that calls to my very soul, begging me to join them. Tears well in my eyes.
I don't think we should be here, Aine pipes up in my mind, I don’t want to leave, but I’m not going to find any answers here. No matter how much that small piece inside of me urges me to join them. To strip my clothes and dance naked in the light of the moon. Embla, I chide myself mentally, you are a lady, not one to be trolloping around in the nude.
Even that sounded fake to my ears , Aine says, and I turn away from the faerie queens, wondering if they have some kind of castle nearby. A brick path leads the way from the pond, and after following it for a few minutes a large castle, like something out of my fairytale books, takes form in front of my eyes. Natural stone walls, towers with cone roofs, ivy trailing up its walls. I rub my eyes a few times just to make sure it’s still there while we approach.
How’re we getting in? Aine asks, scanning the front door like she’s looking for booby traps.
Where are the guards? I ask myself wondering if they became too comfortable with the lions who protect the entrance to their realm.
“They’re gone. Long dead or assumed dead. Most of our army is, that is why we remain here.” A small shining light flies down from one of the trees and an eight-inch woman with dragonfly wings lands on my shoulder.
“Dead? Dead how?”
“The Demons– our kind were the first they wanted to possess,they stole a good many of us before the shield around this region was placed.” The pixie’s voice is quiet, but clear as a bell. “We wait for the Golden Queen to return to us.” The pixie takes flight again. “Long live the Queen of Queens,” she yells as she takes off, a golden streak against the dark sky.
I need answers of some kind, and I don’t know how or why I was let into the Bjartr forest, but I’m not going to leave until I find something. I push on, deciding to just try to push open the front door. It gives easily, and we walk into the palace. There are no servants, no other life forms to speak of.
You’re squeezing me a little tight. Aine says from between my fingers, and I relax my grip on her. Sorry, I put her down gently and we begin to take our own personal tour of the faerie palace. Most of the place is dust and cobwebs. The throne room looks well preserved, as if that’s where the faerie queens spend most of their time. The next door I try opens to reveal walls and aisles full of books. I finally found the library.
I pull any book I can find about faerie history from the shelves, and immediately start devouring it. I learn that the faeries sprouted from Eris’s steps when she was woken by the sun Goddess Solaria. I learned Solaria and the other gods made a home for themselves here. The sun begins to rise outside, and panic fills my chest at the pale sky that bids me good morning as I look up from the book I’m currently reading. I don’t have time to pick them all up. Aine, sleeping draped over the smaller of the two stacks, complains as I pick her up and gently tuck her in my arms making sure to mind her wings before I take off. I sprint faster than I ever thought possible, out of the palace, into the woods, and back over the bridge of lions.