Chapter 15
Cole
Driving the cattle down from the mountain took nearly two days thanks to the snow drifts.
It was cold, tedious work that had everyone on their last nerve by the time we finally arrived back at the main pasture.
With the cattle safely contained for the winter, I sent the other ranch hands off to put the horses away and take the rest of the night off. I’d see to evening chores myself.
Jesse, on the other hand, didn’t leave with the rest of the ranch hands.
To my dismay and obvious irritation, he’d stayed close by me, helping me with the horses and falling in step as I started evening chores.
I knew he wanted to be inside, probably in a hot bath after everything we’d been through.
But he’d grown tougher in the past couple of months.
He was almost starting to act like a rancher, which was poor timing for me because I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Not after what happened between us.
“I’ve got this,” I said to him as we headed out to top off the troughs at the edge of the pasture. “You can go inside.”
“No,” he said calmly. There was no sass, no anger, and no room for argument. “We have chores to do.”
His stubbornness was starting to get under my skin. I glared at him, hoping he’d take the hint and leave, but he just stared back at me with those determined hazel eyes.
“Look,” I said, my voice gruff with frustration, “you’ve been in the saddle for two days straight. You’re probably sore as hell. Just go inside.”
Jesse shook his head, grabbing a bucket and falling into step beside me. “I’m fine. Besides, you heard Mr. Whitaker last time. We need to actually work together.”
I clenched my jaw so tight I thought my teeth might crack.
Working together was the last thing I wanted right now.
Every time I looked at Jesse, all I could think about was what had happened in that tent.
The way his skin felt against mine. The sounds he made when I was inside him. The shame that followed.
“We can work together tomorrow,” I muttered, quickening my pace. “The freezer guys are coming to finish the installation. There’s also the cattle need to be rounded up for processing.”
“And we’ll do that too,” Jesse replied, matching my stride. “But right now, we’re doing chores.”
I stopped abruptly, turning to face him. “Why are you being so goddamn stubborn about this?”
“Because you’re avoiding me again,” he said simply. No anger, no accusation, just stating a fact. “And I’m not going to let you. Not anymore.”
The calm determination in his voice made something twist in my chest. I’d expected him to be angry after how I’d treated him on the mountain. Expected him to yell or throw things or give me the silent treatment. This quiet persistence was somehow worse.
“There’s nothing to avoid,” I lied, resuming my walk toward the troughs. “I just thought you’d want a break.”
“Bullshit,” Jesse said, still keeping pace with me. “You’ve been practically running away from me since the blizzard. You won’t even look at me.”
I didn’t respond, focusing instead on the task at hand as we reached the first water trough. The surface was already starting to freeze over. I broke the thin layer of ice with my gloved hand before refilling it from the bucket.
“We need to talk about what happened,” Jesse continued, his voice lower now that we were working side by side.
“No, we don’t,” I insisted, my knuckles whitening as I gripped the bucket. “I already told you. It never happened.”
Jesse let out a frustrated sigh. “You can’t just erase it, Cole. We had sex. In a tent. During a blizzard. That happened.”
I winced at his bluntness, glancing around to make sure none of the hands were within earshot. “Keep your voice down, for Christ’s sake.”
“There’s no one here but us,” he pointed out. “And I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen just because you’re freaking out about it.”
“I’m not freaking out,” I shot back. “I just… I just don’t fucking want to talk about it. Ever.”
“Goddamn you’re impossible,” Jesse sighed. He stared at me for a long moment, something shifting in his eyes. Instead of backing down like I expected, he stepped closer. “But I told you, I’m not giving up. Not that easily.”
“Sounds like a waste of time and effort for you,” I replied, trying to play it cool and aloof. “I got what I wanted. Now I’m movin’ on.”
There was a flash of hurt in his eyes that made my heart stutter. But then it was gone, replaced with a cocky confidence that I wasn’t used to seeing in my stepbrother.
“You think so, huh?” he whispered, moving so close I could feel the heat radiating off of him.
“You could’ve fucked any guy in this entire state, but you waited all these years for me.
” His fingers trailed down the lapel of my jacket, making me shiver.
“I spent fifteen years out in the world, Cole. And I’ve fucked dozens of men.
Believe me, there are things I could do to you that would drive you absolutely insane. ”
“I… I told you… I don’t—”
“Don’t want to know? Please. You’re dying to find out what I could do to you.”
His hand trailed down my body, fingers dancing over the growing bulge in my jeans. I gasped in delight. Jesse’s eyes flashed and he took his chance, his fingers wrapping around my throbbing cock through my jeans. He leaned in close, his lips brushing my ear.
“You want to know what it feels like to have me inside you.”
My entire body went rigid at his words. The bucket nearly slipped from my grasp as heat rushed through me, pooling low in my gut. His fingers still pressed against my hardening cock, and I couldn’t stop the involuntary thrust of my hips against his hand.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growled, but my voice betrayed me, coming out husky and strained.
“Don’t I?” Jesse’s eyes gleamed in the fading light, his confidence unnerving me. “Your body’s not lying, Cole. Even if your mouth is.”
I grabbed his wrist, meaning to push him away, but found myself just holding him there instead, trapped between wanting to flee and wanting to pull him closer.
“We can’t do this again,” I whispered, though my grip on his wrist loosened. “Not here. Not anywhere.”
“Why not?” Jesse stepped even closer, his chest nearly touching mine. “Nobody’s watching. Nobody cares.”
“I care,” I hissed, finally finding the strength to push his hand away. “This isn’t right.”
Jesse didn’t back down. “It felt pretty damn right in that tent.”
The memory flashed through my mind—his body beneath mine, the sounds he made, the way he pushed back against me, taking me deeper. I swallowed hard, trying to force the images away. But they wouldn’t budge.
“That was a mistake,” I insisted, though the words sounded hollow even to my own ears. “A one-time thing that won’t happen again.”
Jesse studied my face for a long moment, then stepped back with a sigh.
“Fine. Have it your way.” He picked up his bucket and continued toward the next trough.
“But just so you know, I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen.
And I’m not going to stop wanting you just because you say I should. I’ve only begun to fight.”
I watched him walk ahead of me, the confident swagger in his step making my mouth go dry.
When the hell had Jesse gotten so bold? The kid who’d run away fifteen years ago wouldn’t have dared to challenge me like this.
Wouldn’t have touched me like that. Wouldn’t have made my heart race with just a few whispered words.
“You coming?” he called over his shoulder, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
I cursed under my breath and followed, keeping a safe distance between us as we finished the chores in tense silence.
By the time we headed back to the house, darkness had fallen completely, stars piercing the clear night sky.
The temperature had dropped further, our breath clouding in the frigid air.
Evelyn was waiting for us in the kitchen, the smell of beef stew filling the house. Her eyes lit up when we entered together, clearly pleased to see us working as a team.
“There you are! I was beginning to worry,” she said, ladling stew into bowls. “How was the drive?”
“Cold,” Jesse replied, hanging his coat by the door. “But we got it done.”
“Barely,” I muttered, avoiding eye contact with both of them as I washed my hands at the sink. “Goddamn blizzard nearly did us all in that first night.”
“Well, you’re home now, and that’s what matters,” Evelyn said, setting the bowls on the table. “Eat up before it gets cold.”
I sat as far from Jesse as the table would allow, focusing intently on my stew like it was the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen. I could feel his eyes on me though, watching, waiting. The weight of his gaze made my skin prickle with awareness.
“How’s the freezer coming along?” Evelyn asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Should be finished tomorrow. They’re just coming by for one final check to make sure it’s all working properly,” Jesse replied, tearing off a chunk of bread. “Then we can start processing the cattle for direct sales.”
“That’s wonderful news,” Evelyn beamed. “Your daddy would be so proud to see you boys working together like this.”
I nearly choked on my stew. If Jack could see what had happened in that tent… I’m not sure proud would be the word he’d use.
“Cole’s still not convinced it’s going to work,” Jesse said, a challenge in his voice.
I glanced up, meeting his eyes for the first time since we’d entered the house. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to,” he replied, holding my gaze. “It’s written all over your face.”
Evelyn looked between us, clearly sensing the tension. “Well, I think it’s a fine idea. Bringing the ranch into the modern age.”
“Thank you, Evelyn,” Jesse said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “At least someone around here isn’t resisting me.”
I bit my tongue, forcing another spoonful of stew into my mouth instead of saying something I’d regret.
Jesse was doing this on purpose, taunting me openly when Evelyn didn’t know what he meant.
The meal continued in uncomfortable silence, broken only by the scrape of spoons against bowls and Evelyn’s occasional attempts at conversation.
As soon as I finished eating, I stood up. “I’m going to shower.”
“I’ll get everything cleaned up before I head home,” Evelyn offered, already gathering the empty bowls.
I nodded my thanks and headed upstairs, desperate to put some distance between myself and Jesse. The hot water would help wash away the grime of the cattle drive, if not the memories that kept replaying in my head.
I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it, stripping off my dirty clothes and stepping under the spray. The water pounded against my sore muscles, and I braced my hands against the tile wall, letting my head hang down as steam filled the bathroom.
For just a moment, I allowed myself to remember Jesse’s body pressed against mine, the sounds he made as I pushed into him, the way he begged for more. Heat pooled in my gut, my cock hardening despite my exhaustion.
“Fuck,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.
I hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected him to push back, to challenge me, to make me a liar. I hadn’t expected him to get under my skin so easily. To make my body betray me.
I wrapped my hand around my cock, stroking slowly as I let the water cascade over me.
It would be so easy to give in, to let myself have this one thing I’d wanted for so long.
But I couldn’t. We couldn’t. Even if we weren’t blood related, even if no one ever found out, I’d know.
And I couldn’t live with myself if I gave in again.
With a frustrated groan, I released my cock and turned the water to cold. The shock of it against my overheated skin made me gasp, but it did the job. My erection wilted, and I quickly finished washing before stepping out of the shower.
I hadn’t even grabbed my towel yet when the bathroom door opened. Jesse stood in the doorway, his eyes dark with hunger as they raked over my naked body.
“Get out,” I growled, snatching a towel and holding it over my cock.
“I need to shower too,” he said, making no move to leave. “We’ve been on the trail for days.”
“Wait your turn.”
Jesse leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “The hot water will be gone by then.”
“Not my problem,” I muttered, trying to edge past him without making contact.
He didn’t budge, forcing me to brush against him as I squeezed through the doorway. The brief touch of his body against mine sent electricity shooting up my spine.
“Cole,” he said softly, catching my wrist. “Stop running.”
I yanked my arm free, refusing to look at him. “I’m not running. I’m going to bed.”
“Alone?” The question hung in the air between us, loaded with meaning.
My jaw clenched as I finally met his gaze. “Yes, alone. Like I told you before, it’s not happening again.”
A slow smile spread across Jesse’s face, cocky and knowing. “We’ll see.”
Before I could respond, he slipped past me into the bathroom, but he didn’t bother closing the door.
He began to strip off his clothes in front of me, not caring what I saw.
I growled under my breath, grabbing the door and slamming it shut.
Then I just stood in the hallway, my heart hammering in my chest, my skin still tingling where he’d touched me.
And wondering why I’d closed the door when I so obviously wanted to watch.
Goddammit. Why couldn’t he just let it go? Why couldn’t he see that I was trying to protect both of us? Why couldn’t he just go back to Seattle?
And why had my father done this to us?