Chapter 25 #3
“You know what, Mason?” My voice rose in volume again as I stood up on trembling legs. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe a word out of your mouth.”
“What’s the point in me saying anything, then? You would choose Micah over me.”
“I fucking wonder why!” I yelled before I could think better of it. Mason looked like I’d just stabbed him. An unstable frown tugged at the corners of my mouth. I was fighting not to break down into hysterical sobs.
“Thanks for confirming that,” Mason said, his voice hoarse. “Glad to know where I stand.”
“That’s not fair, Mason.” Anguish was building up in my brain, tearing my soul to shreds, slicing down to the very core of me. “You know that’s not fair!”
He just shook his head and looked away from me.
“Well, are you going to talk to me?” I questioned, squeezing my phone. Micah was almost here now.
“No.” He turned and left the bathroom.
I stood there, frozen, for a few seconds.
Fine.
I finished putting my socks on and gathered up my few belongings. Mason wasn’t in his bedroom as I left and grabbed my things, shoving my feet into my boots and stomping out towards the kitchen.
Mason slammed a cabinet door as I reached the kitchen entrance, then set his glass down so hard it shattered on the countertop. I recoiled at the sound of shards exploding around his hand. He looked over at me staring at him, his brown eyes so dark they looked black.
“Do you need something from me?” he growled, igniting fresh anger in my blood.
“Fuck you, Mason.” I gripped the strap of my bag tighter, clenching my back teeth together. “Fuck you.”
“Fuck you, too.”
“Did someone leave you? Huh? Is that what this is? Are you too fucking manly to admit that to me?”
He was holding his breath now. It made me hate him that much more.
Made me fear him that much more.
I can’t do this.
I’m so far out of my depth it’s not fun anymore.
I don’t want to be here.
I want to go home.
“Is that it?” I pushed. “You got left, and you think that gives you the right to terrorize me?”
“You don’t know shit, Dakota.” Something terrible was glinting in his eyes.
“We’ve established that! That’s why we’re fucking fighting! Because you don’t tell me anything, and you expect me to let you walk all over me with no reward.” Frustrated tears were still sliding down my face, and I wished I could stop them. But it was too late to stop any of this.
“You’re wrong.”
“You know what, Mason? I’m done.”
His expression shifted, breath entering his lungs.
“I am fucking done with you. For real. I’m not sure this is worth it anymore.”
“You don’t mean that.” He crossed the kitchen, not reacting to the glass cutting his feet. “I know you don’t.”
I stared deep into his eyes, tears beading on my lower lashes, my lips pressed tight together to keep me from sobbing.
I don’t mean it.
I’ll never mean it.
That’s the problem.
“You wouldn’t leave me,” Mason continued. “You are like me.”
“Micah’s here,” I said, monotone. I forced my eyebrows to furrow, so I would look more serious.
Mason grabbed my arm, as if he was going to physically keep me here, physically stop me from going to Micah right now.
“No. Please don’t leave me.” His eyes were wide with panic. “Fuck, Dakota. Don’t go. Please. I’ll fix this. I didn’t mean it when I told you to text him. I’m sorry for acting like a dick. Please, baby.”
I jerked my arm out of his hold, glaring at him while my chest ached.
“I’m not safe with you. There’s something seriously wrong in your brain.” I started walking towards the door to Mason’s apartment, but he kept stepping in front of me.
“I’m not going to let you leave.”
“If you ever want me to forgive you for all the shit you’ve done, you’ll let me go right now. I’m fucking serious. If you don’t want me to be done with you for good, get out of my way.” I injected as much anger into my voice as I could, just to keep it from shaking.
“I can’t let you go. He’s not going to take you from me.” His hands were on my shoulders, moving to my neck, to my head and my face, like he couldn’t decide where to hold me.
“He’s going to come up here and break your door down if you don’t let me go. And I’ll hate you forever for that.” I jammed my finger into his chest.
Pain flashed in his dark irises as he shook his head.
“Please. Dakota, baby, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I’ll talk to you. We can fix this.”
“Get out of my way.”
“Please. I love you, baby.” His expression was desperate. “I love you.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“This isn’t how you treat people you love.” I shoved past him and yanked open his door, then left without looking back.
The second the door shut behind me, I started crying harder than I had the entire time. I stumbled into the stairwell, choking and gasping, snot and tears pouring down my face as I tripped down the stairs. I shoved out the door and instantly knelt on the sidewalk to vomit into the bushes.
I love you, baby.
I couldn’t stop sobbing, couldn’t get a full breath in, like I was on the brink of a panic attack.
Micah was getting out of his truck, rushing over towards me.
“Don’t touch me!” I shouted before he got too close, holding my hand up, palm facing him. My entire arm was shaking violently. “I need you to take it away. Can you do that?” I turned my head, my teary eyes meeting his. “Answer me, Micah. Can you take this away, yes or no?”
His lips were pressed tightly together, his expression solemn. I felt him in my skull, seeking out all my anguish.
Finally, he spoke. “Yeah.”
“Do it.”
“There won’t be much left, I hope you know that.” These emotions are so deep in your brain, occupying so much of your thoughts, that you won’t feel anything if I take them from you now.
“I said, do it, Micah.”