Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
DAKOTA
The rest of the grades for all my final exams and projects had been inputted, and class pages were slowly appearing for the spring semester.
It’d been stressing me out the past few days, even as Micah reassured me he’d still be there to help me.
But still, seeing all my new courses pop up made me anxious, knowing they would start soon.
I was going to miss being in his class so much.
At least he still promised to help me stay afloat, though. I wasn’t doing it alone anymore.
My last semester.
It was entirely surreal. On one hand it was relieving to know I’d be done with school soon, but on the other, it was worrying to know I’d have to try getting a real full time job with my degree soon after.
I rolled over in bed, finding the other side empty. My arm stretched out, palm pushing against the sheets. Not warm. It was still dark outside, not yet morning. The door to Micah’s bathroom was open and the room dark, no noise coming from inside.
Quietly, I got out of bed and tiptoed to the door.
I stopped dead in the hallway.
The door to the guest bathroom was mostly open. It was dark in the house since the sun hadn’t come up yet, but a light was on in there. And the shower was made of glass.
I couldn’t move, couldn’t really breathe.
Heat pulled sharp and strong in my belly, mixing with the betrayal warming my face.
Mason had Micah against the wall, his hand wrapped around both of their cocks as their mouths warred. They were kissing—no, more than that. Biting at swollen lips, licking into mouths, groaning, sucking hot shower water off hotter skin.
Mason’s back muscles flexed with every full stroke of his arm, tightening around his thick scars, water pouring over both their large bodies in glistening rivulets.
Micah was grabbing Mason’s throat, rolling his hips into the stroke and squeeze of Mason’s hand.
Wet skin, dripping hair, heavy breaths, masculine strength.
I just stared, eyes wide.
The way they were touching each other made me think this wasn’t the first time it’d happened. There was familiarity.
They knew each other before either of them knew me.
I grabbed the door frame of Micah’s bedroom, leaning against it to support my weight as my eyes remained locked on the sight just down the hall.
The men were saying things now—too quietly for me to hear—but I could decipher their tones.
Low and rough, maybe angry. Mason’s hand kept moving up and down, getting faster.
Humiliation made heat tighten around my throat, making it harder to breathe.
It was a bottomless sort of feeling, like the whole world was shifting right before my eyes, and all I could do was watch it unfold. I had no idea if I had a right to be upset about what I was watching though, considering I’d been unfaithful to both of them…but I felt the hurt anyway.
Hurt mixed with something a lot more shameful.
Filthy, raw, animalistic arousal.
My mind was going in a million different directions. How long had this been going on? Were they ever planning on telling me? Did it mean they didn’t want me anymore—since they had each other? My cheeks burned and my pulse throbbed.
Maybe I should’ve stopped watching, should’ve disappeared into the bedroom and pretend none of it happened. Maybe I should’ve confronted them.
But I didn’t do any of those things.
I just stood there in the hallway, a pulsing warmth building low in my belly, as I stared at them together.
Micah’s free hand drifted down between them, and I couldn’t quite see with the angle, but it looked like he was tugging on Mason’s balls. I sank my teeth into my lower lip, fidgeting, feeling the urge to squirm, pressing my thighs together. My heart pounded hard and fast in my chest.
Watching them was almost masochistic in a way, because it stung to see them together without me and I hated myself for not looking away, but…
I could hear the wet sounds of Mason jerking his hand over the volume of the shower water pummeling his shoulders, could hear the throaty groans coming from both of them. Water filled all the spaces between their forms, trickling between open mouths and glazing over heaving chests.
Mason changed his rhythm a bit and I fought the desire to lean closer, to try and figure out what he was saying. Their bodies were pressed together everywhere. Thighs, hips, stomachs, mouths. Mason’s hand tightened, the muscles on his back rippling and Micah’s head tipped forward.
It was only a handful of seconds later that both of them came, cum jetting all over their wet abs and stiff cocks.
I sucked in a quiet breath as Mason leaned back, wiping his palm flat over his torso, using the stream of water to wash the cum off himself. Micah did the same, then uncapped a bottle of shampoo as he ducked under the spray.
Mason got out of the shower, dripping water everywhere. I shrank back in the doorway, hiding my body behind the frame. He snatched a towel from the counter and rubbed it over his head, drying his dark hair, then held it in front of his dick as he walked out of the bathroom without pausing.
I slipped fully into the bedroom, silently shutting the door, then I crawled back into bed with my pulse hammering.
With my head on the pillow, I could hear my heartbeat in my ear, pumping quietly against the cotton pillowcase. I stared at the wall in the darkness, at a total loss. What was I supposed to do now that I knew this?
I rolled over onto my belly and breathed into the pillow, my body wound tight and miserable. My hand slid down my stomach and past the stretchy waistband of my sleep shorts, fingers seeking the wetness between my thighs. Don’t do it.
But I couldn’t get the image of Mason’s hand wrapped around both his and Micah’s dicks out of my mind.
I skimmed the pad of my finger over my clit, muffling my moan in the pillow.
I knew it. I knew they wanted to fuck each other.
That didn’t stop my face from burning when I thought about it, though. How long had this been going on behind my back? Was this how I’d made both of them feel when I was unfaithful? I wanted to be angry about it, but I feared I didn’t have any ground to stand on here.
I whipped my hand out of my shorts and pushed it under the pillow, screwing my eyes shut, knowing I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep.
My jealousy tangled itself so tightly with my fascination that I couldn’t separate one from the other, especially not with the image of them together sharpening in the darkness behind my eyelids every time I tried to forget it.
Maybe this was what I deserved.
I’d unfairly asked them to accept me needing them both, and now I felt stupid for it.
━━━━━
The breakfast table was tense before I even opened my mouth.
Mason kept looking over at me, like he knew I’d seen, and Micah was purposefully not looking at me, like he also knew.
They weren’t sitting in their usual chairs, but as far as possible, at opposite ends of the table.
I couldn’t tell if they were avoiding each other like normal or simply trying too hard not to look guilty.
In the hour I’d laid in bed unable to fall back asleep, I’d exhausted my brain trying to decide how I was supposed to feel about what I’d seen.
I’d argued with myself until every prickly emotion blurred together, and I still couldn’t get the image of them in the shower together to leave my thoughts.
Eventually, I gave up trying to name how I felt. Embarrassment, curiosity, guilt, jealousy. Whatever it was, it refused to leave me alone.
I cleared my throat, both men’s heads flying upward, gazes locking onto my face. I froze, heat rushing to my cheeks.
“Um,” I started, brushing my hair behind my shoulders. “Are we going to pretend I didn’t see you this morning?”
For a minute, nobody spoke.
Micah was the first to break the silence. “I figured you did.”
I looked expectantly at Mason, almost feeling more hurt by him than Micah. Micah had, in a backwards way, been more upfront about his dishonesty. Plus, I at least knew he liked men.
“Okay.” I nodded, feeling the heat on my face. “I guess we’re even now.”
Mason spoke then, tension lining the edges of his expression. “It wasn’t about that.”
My eyes found Micah’s.
How many times did you fuck him?
A lot of times.
Even if it wasn’t about revenge for Mason, it was for Micah. At least partially. I should’ve suspected it all those weeks ago, when he held me in front of the mirror and confessed his anger, his lies. When the games really started.
“Then what was it?” I said after a few beats of silence.
Nobody answered for a long minute.
“We’ve just been sleeping together,” Mason answered.
“For how long?”
He hesitated. “A while.”
I forced myself to nod again, trying to conceal my hurt as much as I could. A lump was growing in my throat, something shameful twisting in my stomach.
“And neither of you thought to mention it?”
Mason shrugged, but the gesture was far from flippant. “There wasn’t much to say.”
“That feels like something people usually mention,” I said, allowing yet another minute of tense silence to fill the room. “Does this change anything?”
“No.”
The answer came instantly, from both of them.
I studied Mason’s face first, then Micah’s.
They didn’t look convinced.
Neither am I.