Chapter 46 #2
She hopped off my lap and went into the kitchen in search of some frozen mini pancakes. She’d changed out of her pajamas at some point during the day and redid the braid in her hair. My back and shoulders were a bit sore from so much flying today, but it wasn’t unmanageable. I’d be fine soon.
━━━━━
By the time night fell, Mason had yet to return to the house.
He’d texted Dakota a few times to let her know he was fine but not done with the stuff he needed to do.
For some reason, it made me nervous. It also made me think of the evil possibilities I’d been ruminating on since my trip to the Syndesmos.
She could become immortal, and I could make it happen.
I got in bed when Dakota got in bed, uninterested in being on my laptop doing university bullshit tonight. Her breathing evened out and I thought she’d fallen asleep until she spoke.
“What if I did want the baby?” she whispered, her voice small and unsure, barely breaking through the darkness of my bedroom, cutting into my circling thoughts.
“Then we can try to have the baby.”
“Okay. Well, I don’t know what I want. Will I be able to find out who the baby belongs to? You or Mason?”
“Is that going to change your decision?”
“Never mind.” She turned away from me, putting space between us.
“Hey.” I looped my arm around her waist, pulling her back until her body fit perfectly against mine. “I was just asking. You don’t have to tell me. And I already know who the baby belongs to.”
She stiffened in my hold.
“How do you know that?”
“My conversation with the leader at the Syndesmos.”
“I don’t want to know. And I don’t think I’m keeping it—I don’t know why I said that. I’m being stupid. I can’t have a baby.”
“If you wanted to, you could. I’d help you.”
“Even if the baby belongs to Mason?”
“Yeah. Because half of the baby belongs to you, no matter what.”
“Do you think I will miscarry?”
Yes.
“I don’t know. It’s possible.”
“It’s likely,” she corrected. “That’s what you said before.”
“It is what I said, but this is still new to me. I didn’t know Angelakia existed until today. So, I’m not really the expert on this topic.”
Though the angel I’d spoken to had made it crystal clear the fertility of the angel would determine the outcome of this pregnancy, not the fertility of the human—the Angelakia.
And there wasn’t much uncertainty on angel fertility.
It was abysmal. I didn’t know why that was, but it often wasn’t a problem since angels were immortal.
Heaven lost angels to Earth every year, but enough were born to make up that gap.
As the human population on Earth grew, though, Heaven got busier.
More people living meant more people dying. More shit for angels to do.
I knew it was my baby because I knew it was Sigeian. Dakota noticed my strange behavior in the morning, but I’d never explained to her it was because I could sense another Sigeian in the room. Most angels couldn’t do that, but I’d always been more in tune with the people around me than most.
I’d initially thought it was Dakota herself causing this feeling in my brain, but once the idea of her being pregnant latched onto my brain, it wouldn’t let go.
When I spoke with the leader at the Syndesmos, he explained that the angelic aspect of the child would match the aspect of the father, simply because Dakota had no actual aspect to contribute, genetics-wise.
In Heaven, angelic children didn’t always know their aspect right away.
Some did, but bsome didn’t. I’d been one of the former, Mason one of the latter.
I’d been born Sigeian through and through; he’d been born unknown until he was a few years old.
Then they discovered the terrible truth about his anger management.
But since I could sense that the child was Sigeian, I could deduce that it was mine.
I didn’t know how to feel about it.
…Well, I did.
But I wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone.
Not even myself. Admitting it only gave it more power to hurt me.
Dakota put her body on mine, brushing her soft lips against the front of my throat. I looked down at her, so beautiful below me as I traced blue veins on the inside of her pale forearm, interlocking our fingers and pressing her hand into the pillow.
“It’s your baby, isn’t it?” she breathed.
“Do you want to know?” I asked, searching her eyes for something I wasn’t exactly sure of.
She pressed her lips together and nodded.
“Yeah.” I didn’t move my stare from hers. I was almost paralyzed in that moment, waiting to see if she liked that answer or not, if she’d been hoping for it to be me or Mason, or if she hadn’t been hoping for anything at all.
A little grin slipped onto her face.
“What?” I teased, feeling more relaxed now, leaning down to kiss her neck as she tried to turn her flushed face away from me. My own tentative smile was pressed against her skin. “Does that make you happy?”
“I just knew it was you. Does Mason know?”
“He does now.”
“He’s probably not happy.”
“Probably not.”
“Are you happy?”
“Dakota,” I mumbled into her neck.
“I know the odds aren’t good,” she quickly added. “But are you happy?”
“What do you want me to say to that?” My voice was muffled. She pushed my shoulder, guiding me up so she could see my face over hers again.
“I want you to tell me if you’re happy that I’m pregnant with your baby. Even though I’ll probably miscarry, I want to know.”
Yes. I’m really fucking happy. But I can’t say that.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it,” she whispered when I remained silent.