Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
Cressida
The same number flashed on my screen. That was the third time in a row.
I knew the area code, and I did not want to speak to anyone from Madison, Mississippi.
I turned off my ringer on the first ring and went back to the mail that had been delivered.
Sorting out the junk from the bills. Dr. Carmichael had told me that unless a catalog interested me to toss it along with all other “offers,” then leave the rest of the mail on his desk.
My eyes kept going back to my phone, like a glutton for punishment.
This time, when it lit up, it was a text message.
Nope. Not reading that either. If it was Bane checking in, he could ask Dr. Carmichael how I was doing.
And if it was Kash … well … I was protecting myself.
He only brought me heartache. I was sad enough as it was. I didn’t need for it to get worse.
“This one is a doggy treats catalog,” I told Rocket, holding it up. “We might have to give it a look and see if there is anything you might need.”
He cocked his head to the side, like he often did with his tongue hanging out, as if he was hanging on my every word.
I went over to leave the doggy catalog on my desk, and he followed behind me.
It was rare he wasn’t at my heels. Dr. Carmichael had said yesterday that he believed his dog would rather go home with me.
I wouldn’t object, but he’d been joking. He wasn’t about to give me his dog.
Perhaps I should get one of my own. I could use the company. It was lonely in the evenings and weekends. I’d bought some decorations for the apartment with my first paycheck this past weekend, and that had given me something to do at least.
The door opened to the office, and I looked up to see Rhodes—I forgot his last name—the guy who owned the gym three doors down, walk inside.
He’d brought in someone last Thursday who had hurt their wrist on one of the machines in his gym.
While Dr. Carmichael was checking the injured man over, Rhodes had leaned against the counter and talked to me.
To be exact, he flirted with me.
Before he had left, he asked me if I was free on Friday or Saturday night, and I told him I had plans, which included decorating and then watching Stranger Things on Netflix.
Friday, he returned with a stack of one-week-free coupons to put out on our counter and asked what time I took a lunch.
I’d told him that I had to file during my lunch hour that day.
And now, he was back two hours after opening on Monday morning.
Great. I needed to think up another excuse fast.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Morning, beautiful,” he replied with a crooked grin.
It most likely worked for him a lot. That grin thing. He owned a gym. Worked out all day. He looked like a bodybuilder. His face wasn’t bad either, but I did not want anything to do with a man again. I was still broken from the only one I’d wanted.
I didn’t know how to respond to the beautiful comment, so I continued my fake smile. “How can we help you today?” Since you’re clearly not injured and you don’t have an injured client with you.
He put an elbow on the counter and leaned slightly closer to me. “I’ve got tickets to A Christmas Carol musical currently playing at the theater. They put it on every year. You’d like it,” he said. “And I’d take you to dinner before, of course.”
He was relentless.
I was broken.
Wrong tree, pal.
“Uh, well …” I sighed. “I’m going to be honest with you. I just got out of a …” I paused. That was a lie. But how did one explain what Kash and I were? I just got shipped off here by the guy I love who no longer loves me? That just sounded pathetic.
“Relationship,” he supplied.
I hesitated, then nodded. Whatever. He didn’t need my backstory.
“Me too,” he replied. “Three years, and she left me for her ex-husband.”
Oh. Ouch.
“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered awkwardly.
“Yeah, I’m not. We had run our course. Time to move on.” He winked. “What about we just have a night out, getting to know each other?”
I glanced over at my phone to see six text messages now. “Uh, I’m sorry. There seems to be an issue. I’ve got several text messages from a friend back home.” I gave him an apologetic smile. “Maybe after I’ve had some space and time. I’m just not ready. But thank you.”
His disappointment was clear, but at least he wasn’t leaning on the counter now. “All right. But when you’re ready, I’m right down the street.”
I nodded. I know, and I do not care.
“Come in, and I’ll give you the first month free,” he offered.
Not happening.
“That’s very generous of you.”
He seemed to brighten up at that, and I waved, then turned my back to him and picked up my phone. I was going to ignore this, but my willpower was shot. I wanted to see who had been texting and calling me.
I clicked the text message alerts from the number and scrolled up to the first one.
Unknown: Cressida, it’s Kash. Please answer your phone.
Unknown: I just want to hear your voice. Please.
Unknown: Songbird, you’re killing me.
Unknown: I am begging you.
Unknown: I need to talk to you.
Unknown: Don’t punish me. I didn’t know Bane had taken you. No one will tell me where you are. Oz gave me this number, and it’s all I have. Please talk to me.
He didn’t know? But … the lavender phone. Bane wouldn’t have cared about my favorite color, much less known what it was.
I chewed up my bottom lip, rereading the text several times before I decided to respond.
Me: I’m at work.
I hit Send, and dots immediately appeared. Had he been sitting there, staring at his phone?
Kash: I need to talk to you.
Shit! Why did he have so much power over me? My heart was already racing in my chest, and the first smallest hint of anything close to happiness was starting up.
Me: I can’t talk while I am at work.
I let my finger hover over the Send key and debated saying more, like I will call you this evening. But I didn’t need to say that. I shouldn’t call him. Hearing his voice would only hurt more.
Kash: What time do you get off?
Dammit.
Me: Five.
Kash: I’ll call you then. Are you okay? Safe?
I was safe, but I hadn’t been okay in years. What did that mean? Okay. If it meant breathing, then sure. I was okay.
Me: I’m safe. I have a good job. I like it. I’ve made a friend.
I hit Send and left out the fact that my friend was a canine.
Kash: At five, answer your phone.
Bossy. I set the phone down, not bothering to respond to his command. But I’d answer. Just like I hadn’t made it thirty minutes before reading his text. I had no control over my actions when it came to Kash.
Dr. Carmichael had received a call on his cell phone just after three and had to leave immediately for a personal house visit.
He had a few clients, I’d learned, that he went to them.
They didn’t come here. He never took any files with him when he went either.
I didn’t ask since it wasn’t my business, but I admit the way he responded so promptly was intriguing.
I’d had to call and reschedule the last two appointments he had coming in after three. With the office closed, I had been able to do all the evening straightening-up without interruption. When five o’clock hit, I was already back at my apartment, standing in the living room, staring at my phone.
It rang immediately.
I took a deep breath, blew it out, then hit Accept.
“Hello?” I said without any trace of emotion, which I felt rather proud of since I was experiencing a swarm of them at the moment.
“Songbird.” Kash’s sigh of relief as he said my name sure sounded as if he hadn’t known where I was. I wanted to believe that. “Where are you?”
“I’m struggling to believe that you didn’t know about my relocation,” I told him.
“I swear to God I didn’t know. I left town for twenty-four hours to handle something, and when I came back, you were gone. Bane wouldn’t tell me. No one would!”
I knew if I let myself believe him, I would once again be vulnerable. But he sounded so pained. Desperate.
“Okay,” I relented. “Sure.”
“Tell me where you are,” he urged.
But if I did. He’d come here. And Bane would find out.
They’d either take me off somewhere and dump me or relocate me again.
I liked my job. I might not be given a job, a car, and a place to live the next time.
Kash didn’t have the power to protect me.
Not from the Mafia family he had been born into.
“I can’t,” I finally said.
“Ignore whatever Bane said to you,” Kash told me.
But I couldn’t. I had no one in this world. It was just me, and I was never going to move on and make a life for myself if Kash kept walking into it and shattering the small bits of security that I’d found.
“It’s not about Bane or anything he said. It’s about me. I need to do what is best for me,” I said as a lump formed in my throat.
“And that’s not me.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. His words sounded as if I’d just landed a crushing blow to his chest.
My throat and eyes burned.
“We aren’t good for each other.” I forced the words out. Words I didn’t want to accept.
“That’s not true.”
“Your family won’t allow it. They don’t want you with me, and your family isn’t an ordinary one. You can’t defy them. Neither of us can. You know that. And my heart can’t take having you, only to lose you again.” My voice cracked as I stifled a sob.
“I won’t let them.” His words were fierce.
“You don’t have a choice,” I whispered. “If you love or loved me, then please let me go.”
I ended the call before he could say more.
He could convince me there was a chance for us again even though I knew there wasn’t.
He wanted his life in Madison back, and if he came here, he’d lose that.
Unlike me, he had a home, and I wouldn’t let him make the mistake of losing it because of me again.