Chapter 2
NOAH
My stomach twists into ugly tangles of knots as I stare into the dark eyes I gladly would have drowned in once upon a time.
Even at this distance, I can tell they no longer hold an ounce of the love Rhett Rivers once had for me.
There’s nothing but disdain hidden in his chocolate gaze, a hard truth that shakes me to my core.
And yet, I drink him in, the man who holds so many of my firsts.
He’s all broad shoulders and chiseled features, his jawline coated in stubble.
He throws back a tumbler of amber liquid, never stopping his slow perusal of me.
I tuck a rogue lock of hair behind my ear, purposely forcing myself to look elsewhere.
Coming to Boozin’ Boots was a bad idea.
I hadn’t been at Lilac Meadows with Sage more than thirty minutes when Brandy and Cassidy—friends I haven’t seen since my days of working at the bar—had shown up, each one boasting a bottle of tequila and excitement over spending an evening catching up.
That’s when the quiet night Sage and I planned flew straight out the window.
And now, everyone but me is too busy waving hello as we enter the bar to notice what I already have—there’s a brooding cowboy across the room staring right at me.
Completely unaware of my inner turmoil, the girls make a beeline across the crowded space.
I’d rather sit anywhere else because the half-empty booth is inconveniently occupied by the Rivers brothers … including the one I once called mine.
My step falters for a split second, but when it does, Sage feels it.
Her attention darts to where my gaze is pinned.
“Oh god,” her eyes growing as wide as saucers.
“I didn’t think he’d be here.” She lifts a hand in greeting to Kade and his brothers, all of whom return it with a wave or a nod.
Her man shoots her a mischievous smile, and a faint blush hits her cheeks.
They are so smitten with each other. The intensity zaps the air like an electric current. I miss that feeling.
Exhaling hard, I try for a smile as Sage loops her arm with mine, but an ache is spreading through my chest, threatening to take me out.
The regret on Sage’s face is unmistakable. “We can leave.”
I shrug. “No, it’s okay. Coming out tonight was a last-minute decision. No big deal. I haven’t seen the twins in forever. It might be good to catch up.” I wonder if they’re still as crazy as they used to be or if they’ve outgrown their wild.
Her lips twitch. “Noah, if you’re sure, we’ll stay, but if at any point you wanna leave, we can.” She glances at me, teeth clenched. “Do we need a safe word? You say it and we hightail it outta here?”
I can’t hold in my laugh. Smiling big, I shake my head.
“I think we’re good.” I’m the fuckin’ best at hiding my true feelings.
I gesture toward the booth, pull up my metaphorical big-girl britches, and lead the way even though my heart is in my throat.
“Let’s join those two before they decide to order something that’ll get me completely wasted.
” I glance at Sage. “Or maybe that’s not such a bad idea.
” A chuckle bubbles from my chest that’s more about my discomfort with the current situation than actual amusement.
She gives me a look that screams, I don’t know who you’re trying to kid, but we totally need a safe word. “Fireball. Hot as balls. Jason Momoa.”
I raise my brows.
“Okay, okay, fine. How about pineapple? Godzilla?” She scrunches her nose. “Titanic!”
“Because the ship is going down?”
“Precisely. We are about to run into a Rhett-size iceberg.”
I send an elbow into her ribs, and mutter under my breath, “Hush, you.” As I duck into the U-shaped booth, everyone shifts to make room.
With only two seats left, I end up sitting almost directly across from my past. I could make the girls get back out, ask to swap places with one of them so I don’t have to face my regrets, but I’m afraid of how it’d come across …
to Sage … to Rhett … and most importantly, to myself.
I drag a steadying breath into my lungs, then focus on my friends, plastering a bright smile on my face. Fake it ’til you make it, right?
“So.” Brandy interrupts the silence and cuts through the mounting tension that’s thick in the air.
“Karaoke, yeah? Is that the plan?” Her gaze flicks toward me.
“You should sit this one out, Noah. Small-town life isn’t really your vibe anymore.
” Her tongue pokes out to dampen her lip as she stares—rather boldly—at Rhett.
“Give the rest of us a chance to be the star of the show, would ya?”
“B!” Cassidy squeals, already halfway to inebriated from the tequila we had before we left Lilac Meadows.
My eyes cut across the booth to Rhett, and for a brief moment, I’m taken right back to nights under the stars in a rusty orange pickup when I was the center of his universe and he was mine.
He averts his focus to the bottom of his glass of bourbon, most likely wishing that it could wash away the bitter taste I left when I walked away.
Returning my focus to the girl I thought was my friend, it doesn’t escape me that Brandy is still eye-fucking Rhett. It wouldn’t take much more than a nod from him for her to jump across the table into his lap. I can’t believe I’m sitting right here, and she’s practically begging him to fuck her.
And maybe he already has.
Either way, it’s none of my business. Plastering on my stage smile, I pretend jealousy isn’t eating me alive.
“Sounds perfect, Brandy.” I chuckle because it’s all I can do.
“Wouldn’t want to upstage you.” The ache in my chest intensifies as Rhett watches my reaction from behind his amber-colored beverage.
At my side, Sage reaches for my thigh under the table, firmly squeezing.
She doesn’t have to say a word for me to understand that she’s here for me.
Whatever I need. I might put on a good act, but she’s still my best friend …
and while I can hide some things from her, to put it simply, this is … a lot.
Sage leans in with a soft chuckle. “What about woodpecker?”
I laugh under my breath as the guy running the karaoke machine makes eye contact with our table and booms into the mic, “Who’s next? Brandy? Cassidy?”
“Ooh!” Cassidy exclaims excitedly, “What song do you wanna do?” She beams at her friend, a slight slur creeping into her words. “You pick.”
Brandy’s lips purse before curving into a grin. “Maybe … ‘Jolene’?” Her eyes flick to mine, as if gauging my reaction.
Of course she’d select that song. “Good choice.” I slide from the booth, making a shooing motion with my hand.
“I’ll order our drinks. Get up there! The three of you should do that one together.
” Sage scoots out of the booth but hesitates as the girls shimmy past us to take the stage. Her brow knits tightly together.
Leaning close to her, I whisper, “Go on. I’ll sing later. I need a minute.”
“Fat chance. Now would be a prime time for that safe word.” She takes hold of my elbow and guides me toward the bar. “But if you insist on staying, they still make your favorite huckleberry lemonade. Come on. We need a drink.”
As the first notes of “Jolene” play, Jeb slides our cocktails across the bar to us.
After one long sip of the fruit-infused vodka drink, I know it will go straight to my head along with the tequila shots we had before we left Sage’s house.
Skimming my finger over the ice-cold condensation on the exterior of the glass, I give myself a silent pep talk.
The truth is, I’m terribly afraid that I might actually need liquid courage.
Seems like if I’m going to survive tonight, I need to make a few extra wrong turns and really get lost.
Across the bar, I’m acutely aware of the boisterous conversation that continues at the booth.
I wonder how Rhett’s truly been doing in the years since I left.
The ache I felt earlier spreads throughout my body until I can hardly stand it.
It’s true, I made these choices. I made this bed.
And now I’ve gotta lie in it. I stare down into my drink as I take another long sip.
Then, unable to stop myself, I steal another glance at him from under my lashes.
I never expected him to wait around, but Brandy?
Really? She’s supposed to be my friend. I could be overreacting.
Maybe he never touched her. But she made a point of staking her claim back at the table.
As if she wanted me to know in no uncertain terms that he is hers.
If it’s not true, maybe he would have said something if not for the ring on my finger.
But then, our eyes connect, and the lingering guilt confirms what I know deep down.
Rhett has moved on. And I don’t have a say in it.
But fuck him for sleeping with my friend.
And fuck her, too. I toss back the remains of my lemonade and catch Jeb’s attention. “Could I get another, please?”
“Sure darlin’. This one’s on the house for Black River’s very own claim to fame.”
I flash the well-meaning bartender my signature smile, summoning every bit of the actress in me that appears night after night when I’m on the road touring.
Over the last few years, I’ve performed for massive throngs of people at every concert, appearance, and music festival while I’ve wanted to do nothing but leave the stage to nurse my confusion over what my life has become.
Not a single person has ever known my inner turmoil because I don’t want them to see that.
I’ve never let on for an instant that everything isn’t exactly perfect in my world, and I’m not gonna fucking start now.
While I wait for my beverage, a whoop of laughter from behind grabs my attention and, against my better judgment, I glance over my shoulder only to find Rhett’s dark eyes lingering.
They stay there as if pulled by an invisible force …
drawn to me. Just like mine are to him. Our attraction has always been undeniable.
I’m the magnet. He’s the steel. But the way we left things—or rather, how I left him—well, that damage might just be irreparable.
Somehow while I’ve been waxing poetic over the state of the life I gave up, I completely missed that the song has wrapped up.
The girls return to the table, a whirlwind of laughter and obnoxious smiles.
As they sit back down, Brandy urges Rhett to make room, and she wraps her arms around his neck, pressing close. It’s enough to sour my stomach.
Over Brandy’s shoulder, Rhett smiles uncomfortably at me and disentangles himself from her koala hold. He even carries on his end of the conversation with Kade. But … My lips purse. He can’t fool me. I know him. Maybe better than I know myself.
Outta nowhere, the guy manning the stage lets out a whoop and claps his hands together.
“I’m told we’ve got a special treat in store for you all tonight.
Our very own hometown songbird, Noah Lane is in the house!
” I swivel toward the stage and spot Sage bounding back toward me with a grin on her face.
There’s some hollering from the other bar patrons followed by a thunderous applause that nearly brings down the rafters.
“What did you do?” I raise a brow as she reaches me.
Leaning in, she encourages, “Thought it was time you reminded everyone why you’ll always be the star of his show.”
“I’m not Rhett’s anything, Sage Everett.”
She aims a disbelieving stare in my direction. “So you keep saying. But I call bullshit. You said no safe words”—winking, she finishes—“so you don’t get to use them now.”
I suck in a breath and make my way through the crowd as my mind scrolls through a million and one songs. Decision made, I take the stairs two at a time before heading directly over to relay my choice. With my heart thundering, I grab the mic out of the stand.
“What’re you singin’ for us tonight, darlin’?” some middle-aged man over at the pool table catcalls. I shoot a flirty wink at him as the first strains of “Indifferent” by Megan Moroney filter through the speakers. Dampening my lips, I scan the crowd, wondering exactly how this is going to go down.
I’m hoping my choice of song delivers a firm fuck-off message to Brandy.
I’m not putting up with her bullshit. Am I really indifferent?
Probably not. But they don’t need to know that.
Is this petty? Maybe. A slap at both of them?
Definitely. But I’m hurt, even if I know I don’t have any real right to be.
My mama always said you can’t help it when emotions overtake you, sometimes you have to feel whatever it is.
And dammit, I can’t get the image of the two of them together out of my head.
My eyes flick to Brandy’s just as her lips part, and she shoots a curious glance at Rhett, no doubt checking for his reaction to this song that’s so very clearly about someone moving right the fuck on with their life. I don’t care what she thinks.
Rhett’s gaze connects to mine, unwavering.
I’m unsure what message he’s trying to send me, but it doesn’t matter.
Not really. He’s received the one I’m aiming at him, loud and clear.
I allow my eyes to flicker shut for a moment so I don’t have to see the pain washing through his.
I may have chosen myself … but he didn’t have to move on with someone I thought was my friend.
With every note and every verse, I sink farther into the heartbreak, let it really take me.
I falter, my voice trailing off when Rhett stands abruptly from the booth and throws some cash on the table. The music continues on without me vocalizing the last few lines of the verse. Dark eyes cast a hard look in my direction. Rhett turns on the heel of his boot and storms for the front door.
Shaken, I blurt into the mic, “Titanic.”