Chapter 28 Noah
NOAH
When the doorbell rings shortly after Rhett leaves the house on a call to a neighboring ranch, I exhale with exasperation, shaking my head. I would bet money that he asked someone to come check on me while he was gone.
I’m not quite as prone to falling apart as I was upon our return to Black River a week ago, but I know he’s still worried about my state of mind.
Hell, so am I. It doesn’t take much for me to slip into the nightmarish memories.
Getting back to old routines is probably the best thing for me, but the life I lived before the wedding doesn’t even exist anymore. That girl doesn’t exist anymore either.
Another chime sounds. I figure it’s gotta be one of the few people Rhett would trust with the task of checking on me. “Come on in,” I call out, trying to keep my voice level.
In all the time we’ve been home, I haven’t seen anyone at all. Rhett has shielded me, protecting me from the inevitable questions that my appearance in our hometown would raise.
Panic rises for an instant but passes as the door creaks open and Sage pokes around it, her kind eyes immediately searching me out. “There you are.” She steps inside, pausing, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she looks me over.
I sweep my bangs out of my face, blinking rapidly as our eyes connect. Relief courses through me as she rushes over, quickly pulling me into her arms. “Girl, you’ve had me worried.”
The tears I try to hold back blur my vision. “I’ve had me worried, too.” A shuddering exhale escapes as she holds me and looks into my eyes.
Her hand cups my face, wiping the pad of her thumb against my damp cheek. “I know you don’t need a babysitter”—she offers with a smile—“but I thought maybe you could use some company. We don’t even have to talk about anything. We can just watch a movie or whatever you want.”
She’s such a good fucking friend to me. I close my eyes for a second, a memory of the horror on her face in that hotel room resurfacing like an unwelcome guest.
“You okay?” She touches my bicep, though hesitantly.
Finally, I drag in a breath and open my eyes. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re here.” I gesture toward the coffee maker. “I just brewed a fresh pot. Do you want a cup?”
“Yes, please.”
A few minutes later, we settle at the kitchen counter with our drinks. Sage slides her thumb over the rim of her mug, staring down into it. I can tell her mind is going a mile a minute. “So, how’ve you been?”
“Okay. Rhett’s been great. Honestly? I’m just trying to get through each day as it comes.”
Peeking at me from the corner of her eye, she quietly asks, “Have you said anything to your parents about what happened?”
“By text. I didn’t have the courage for a conversation or the million questions they’d have. But they know I didn’t go to Barbados and that something happened after the wedding. They don’t know I’m here yet. I just need a little more time before facing them.”
“Understandable.” A look of relief washes over her face. “I’m glad you’re communicating. Your mom’s been asking, but I haven’t said much. Just that you were okay. And safe.”
I take a sip of my coffee, letting the warmth slide down my throat. “The reason I haven’t talked to my parents much is because when Rhett heard everything”—I’m quiet for a moment—“it messed him up pretty bad. I don’t want them to place blame on themselves, too.”
“I get that.” Her teeth clench. “Listen, I don’t want to push, but …”
Giving her a half smile, I tip my chin. “Go ahead. It’s fine.” Sage has lived through some shit this year, some of it equally as horrendous as my experience. So I’m not surprised by what comes out of her mouth next.
“You can talk to me; I really mean it. Whatever you’re going through, I’ll understand. If you need a friend, I’ll be here to listen to anything you need me to.”
My heart breaks a little that she was struggling and I knew nothing about it. Pulling her into a hug, I squeeze her tight. And then, I tell her everything.
When I finally finish, Sage looks at me with wet eyes. Somewhere during the retelling, I’d grabbed her hand and held on tight. “I’m so sorry you went through all that. Maybe I should have pushed for more details about what was going on. I should have trusted my gut.”
I shake my head. “Please don’t blame yourself.” All at once, it’s too much. “Can we just leave that where it is? I’ve wasted enough breath on Bradley Hemstock. I just want to move on and have a normal conversation with my bestie.”
“Yeah, we can do that.” Sage’s eyes travel the room and a sly smile lights them. “So, let’s talk about this house.”
A blush stains my cheeks, and I lift my hands to my face, hiding behind them.
“Noah, he built this for you. You realize that, right?”
“Yeah.” For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m able to be giddy about something with my friend. “It’s the house we always talked about.” Wistfulness overcomes me. “Did you know he was building it?”
“No. I didn’t”—she looks around again with a grin on her face—“but it’s fuckin’ fantastic.”
Unable to stop the smile that’s pulling at the corners of my lips, I nod.
“It kinda is, isn’t it?” Right on the heels of that happiness, though, the idea of Rhett here, building our dream home even after I left him, forces regret to bubble to the surface.
I don’t know how to process the raw emotions that nearly wipe me out.
The vision of him creating a life we once planned, in hopes one day I’d come back nearly destroys me all over again.
Noticing my sudden quiet and internal reflection, Sage’s eyes grow misty. “He knows you so well.”
I drag in a breath that blisters my lungs before blowing it all back out and admitting the truth. “He always has.”
She jumps off her feet, then holds out a hand to help me from the stool. “Come on. Up. No more moping. Give me a tour of this place.” Her excitement brings me joy.
“Okay, fine.” I laugh, tugging her along with me. I gesture to the drywall in what will be the living area. “Just keep in mind Rhett’s still working on a lot of things.”
“Got it.” Once I give her the grand tour of the main floor, we head upstairs. As we peer into a few unfinished rooms, I can totally tell she has something on her mind. “So … wait. I don’t see any beds yet.” A glint lights her eye.
“Are you trying to ask where we’ve been sleeping?”
“No.” She chuckles. “My thought was that if I’ve stumbled into a romance novel with a there’s only one bed trope.”
I slap her bicep. “The house is kinda sparsely furnished. So, yes. We’ve been sharing a bed.
Rhett said he only stays up here when he’s working on the house, so he hadn’t bothered with more.
” Blushing, I add some humor to deflect my embarrassment.
“If not for Grandma Jo, we’d probably be sharing a pillow. ”
We both fall into a fit of laughter when Sage wiggles her eyebrows. For a moment, it’s nice to just be normal with my best friend.
“So you’re sleeping in the same bed … How’s that been?”
I clench my teeth. “He’s supporting me through this. Period.”
“Is that all you’re gonna give me? Really? I can tell there are feelings involved. Rhett still looks at you the same way he did when we were in high school.”
I stare into her eyes. “Can I be honest?”
“Yep. Lay it on me.”
“I don’t think what we felt for each other ever went away. Now that you know the relationship with Bradley wasn’t real, are you really that surprised? My heart has only belonged to Rhett Rivers.”
“I thought as much.” Sage opens her arms wide, encompassing me in a comforting hug.
Drawing in a deep breath, I bury my face into her shoulder. “I’m just kind of afraid I’ve broken his heart beyond repair.”
As I ease back, she presses her lips together. “Have y’all talked about it?”
“Not really. It’s been hard with everything that happened. My head’s barely on, much less straight enough to deal with the tangle of confusion in my heart.”
“Oh, Noah.” Sage tugs me back to her chest as we pause at the main bedroom.
“I know. It’s just a lot.” My gaze flicks to the bed where I’ve spent so many nights with him curled around me, then to the en suite and my face flushes hard, my heart rate accelerating as the memory of Rhett jerking himself off in that shower takes my breath.
“What’s going on?” Sage touches my arm, making me look into her eyes. “You’re all pink and sparkly eyed all of a sudden. What are you thinking about?”
“Uh, a couple of days ago.” I hesitate, and she nudges me.
“Okay, fine. I was in bed and heard Rhett call out to me from the bathroom. Or so I thought.” I jut my chin toward the en suite door.
“I went in. And well …” My face couldn’t be any hotter.
“I’m fairly certain he did call my name.
While he was—” I clench my teeth together and widen my eyes, willing her to catch my drift.
Her lips part in an O of surprise. “Oh god.” Hands flying up to cover her mouth, she begins to chuckle. “Oh, wow.”
“I know, right?” I shake my head. “It was … hot. And it made me feel some things I wasn’t expecting to feel so soon after—”
“Okay,” Sage cuts in with a wince. “So, tell me to shut up if you need to, but after everything I dealt with, I finally decided Kade was the only one who’d be able to help me past the trauma. And”—her cheeks pinken—“he definitely did.”
Mulling that over in my head, I pull at the sleeves of my top. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
She swallows hard. “Of course. That’s only for you to say. But don’t feel bad if you are, either.” Her tone is soft and understanding. “I needed to put everything else behind me. And being intimate with Kade was the first step.”
I drag in a breath and give her a smile that only falters the tiniest bit before whispering, “How will I know when I’m ready?”
“You just will. It’ll help that you and Rhett already have preexisting trust. He’s already your safety net. Let him catch you.”
As we exit to take our conversation back to the kitchen, Sage points at the door across the hall. “What’s in there?”
“Actually, I don’t know. I tried to open it before, but it’s locked.”
Her brows raise and a twinkle of mischief lights her eyes. “Think it’s a sex dungeon?”
I sputter with laughter. “Doubtful.”
Sage plucks a bobby pin from her hair and holds it up. “Wanna try to break in?”
I laugh. “Go for it.”
Just as she stoops to have a look, the front door bangs open downstairs.
“Noah?” Rhett calls out, and I meet Sage’s eyes, ducking my head.
“Oops,” I breathe out before raising my voice to respond to him. “Just giving Sage the tour, Rhett!”
“Oh. Okay,” comes the rumble of his raspy baritone.
Stifling her amusement, Sage pokes the bobby pin back into her bun. “We’ll figure it out some other time.”