Forty-Six
Montana
I stood alone in Linc’s office, staring at a random horse portrait, waiting. He’d been here when I arrived and told me that Wayon had made poor choices, but wasn’t a bad man. That I had nothing to be scared of and that he just wanted to talk to me alone. But he’d be right outside the door.
I didn’t tell Linc Shephard that his proximity gave me no security. I had just nodded. It didn’t matter if he was outside the door or in another state. He wasn’t on my side. He was on Jericho’s. I was not someone of importance to him. Merely a problem he had to handle. One he would send packing very soon.
The sound of the door opening caught my attention, and I realized that I was curious. Now that I had a face to go with the letters, I wasn’t as scared. The image of a man sitting in a basement somewhere with photos of me plastered all over while he talked to his fifty cats seemed ridiculous now. I’d watched too many crime shows. Not once had I come across an episode where the psycho stalker/serial killer looked like Wayon.
He entered the room, looking much like I remembered. Tall, broad shoulders, no tattoos, tanned skin, blond hair. Handsome. The all-American look that drew attention from females. His eyes stayed on me as he closed the door behind him.
“This is not how I imagined things,” he said with an apologetic smile. “I never meant to scare you.”
I let out a short laugh that held no humor. “Well, finding letters in places, especially beside me while I slept, would freak out just about anyone.”
He sighed heavily and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it would. My goal was to reach you through words. Get you to fall in love with me through my letters.”
I frowned. “Fall in love with you?”
The corner of his mouth tugged up as he walked over to stand across the room from me. He seemed to understand that I preferred he keep a distance.
“Yeah, well, I’m not very good at that, apparently. Females have always chased me. Claimed they loved me. But the one who took my breath away didn’t even bat her eyes, didn’t attempt to flirt.” He shook his head and let out a chuckle. “I walked away that night, knowing what I wanted and not sure how the fuck to get it. That was a first for me.”
I pointed at my chest. “Me?” I asked with disbelief.
He smirked and ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, Montana, you.”
I scrunched my nose. “We had dinner together. I’d not slept good in weeks because I was afraid to with Momma.” I paused, not wanting to remember that time in my life. “I barely remember anything that was said.”
He placed a hand on his heart. “Ouch.”
I hadn’t meant to be rude, but it was the truth.
“You can make a man do crazy things, and you don’t even realize your power.”
Maybe he was deranged but just came in a pretty package, so it was distracting.
“Do you love him?” he asked.
My eyes snapped back to him. “Who?”
He tilted his head to the side slightly. “You know who.”
I sucked in a deep breath. I barely knew this man. He had no right to ask me something like that. “I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about, and even if I did, that’s a personal question.”
He nodded. “You’re right. It is. Forgive me. I forget that you don’t know me the way that I do you.”
That made me shiver—and not in a good way. There was a violation to privacy that he didn’t seem to understand was a big deal.
“Yeah, since I didn’t stalk you like a creep,” I snapped.
He winced. “It wasn’t like that. I was protecting you. You were alone. And I couldn’t stand the idea of you needing something and not having it.”
“I was doing just fine.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Were you?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him. “Yes, I was. Until you came along and started leaving those damn notes. I had a full-ride scholarship. I was going to graduate with friends I’d gone to school with most of my life and go on to get a college degree. I had a roof over my head, and my needs were met.”
He rubbed his jaw, and the look he gave me was almost smug. “Do you remember when you got the letter about receiving a full scholarship?” he asked.
I stilled. No. Please, don’t say you had something to do with that.
I’d been shocked, but I had convinced myself the college thought I deserved it. It had been something to make Momma smile there at the end.
I didn’t respond.
“When you left that night with Mallory, I asked a few questions about you. Pax knew very little. So, I made small talk with Mallory the next day, bringing you up. She was very chatty and shared without my having to pry really. I learned all about your mom, what you’d been going through, that you were worried about college and your future. She felt so bad for you.” He paused.
Did he expect me to say something here? He’d just yanked a rug out from under me. My plans. Everything.
“I made a call, found out what colleges you had applied to. You had only applied to one. I paid them a visit, spoke with the dean of admissions, and a week later, you received your letter, informing you that you’d been awarded a full ride in their nursing program.”
I sank down onto the sofa behind me. It was as if he’d knocked the wind out of me with one solid punch.
“That isn’t going to win you over either, is it?” he asked with a trace of disappointment in his tone.
Win me over? I lifted my eyes and stared at him. There was no winning me over. I wasn’t a prize. He had played me like a game, and I’d been clueless.
“I’ll ask you again. Do you love him?”
“Than?”
He cocked an eyebrow at me as if that was a stupid question.
I did. But that didn’t matter. You could love someone all you wanted, but it didn’t mean that they’d love you back. It was a cruel joke of the heart. To let one feel so deeply while the other only breached the surface of what could have been.
“Yes.” My voice was a whisper.
He let out a weary sigh. “I was afraid of that.”
“Even if I didn’t, there would never have been an us. Not after all you did.” I dropped my voice. “Watched me sleep.” Just saying it sent a chill down my spine.
He didn’t even have the decency to look remorseful. Instead, his mouth turned up at the corner, although the smile didn’t match his eyes. “And if it had been Than—if he had watched you sleep without you knowing, if it were him standing here right now—would you hold that against him?”
How did I answer that? Doing so would make his actions less of a crime.
“You don’t have to respond. Your eyes say it all. I love that about you, the way you share every feeling, bared and open, right there in your gaze. I hope he’s worthy of you.”
I stood up, feeling vulnerable suddenly. “Again, not your concern,” I told him.
He seemed amused by that, then leaned toward me, although he didn’t move his feet to actually step closer. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.” Then he straightened, gave me a single nod, and walked toward the door.
I watched him go, not sure if Linc was right about him. There was a darkness there that went deeper than anything I’d seen in Than’s eyes.