Chapter 23 Marguerite in Disguise #2
Dr. Becker had been shifting from foot to foot. As soon as I had the coat on, he said, “We must go. Now, while everything is disrupted, while everyone is still thinking only about themselves.”
“I agree.” I handed him one pillowcase, put Fr?ulein Lippert’s sewing kit into my new coat’s deep pocket, placed my two hands on the table, breathed in and out—the air was still very bad, and the smell growing terrible—then picked up my own pillowcase of food. “I’m ready.”
The journey back to the church, short as it was, was terrifying. It was full light now, I supposed, although the sun was completely blotted out by the choking smoke and the air a weird, glowing orange. As we picked our way over yet another rubble pile, a voice called out, “You there!”
I froze, then thought, Act normally, and asked, with all my mother’s aristocratic assurance, “Yes?”
“You need to leave the city,” the soldier said, “if you’ve been bombed out. Follow the main roads, and you’ll find volunteers there to direct you. Everyone must be evacuated to the countryside. There’s no food here, no facilities, nowhere to house you.”
“Yes,” I said. “Thank you. We’ll go now.” We hurried off, and I didn’t take a breath until we were around the corner.
We were nearly to the church doors when another voice called, “Halt!”
Ice in my veins again, but this time, Dr. Becker was the one who said, “Yes?” Sounding so cool and unconcerned.
I turned, saw the black and silver uniform of the SS, and stood stock-still, unable to think. The man said, “What are you doing here? Haven’t you been told? All bombed-out civilians from this area are to leave the city.”
“Yes,” Dr. Becker said. “We’d heard. We merely make a stop first at the church to give thanks to the Savior for our deliverance.” And crossed himself. He did it the correct way, too. That was coolness under pressure!
The SS man squinted at him as if in recognition and said, “Your papers, please.”
Dr. Becker handed over Herr Kolbe’s Kennkarte, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself trembling. How glad I was that I’d noticed he was still wearing the star! How disastrous otherwise!
The man scrutinized the document, handed it back, held out his hand to me, and said, “Your papers.”
“My daughter has unfortunately lost her Kennkarte,” Dr. Becker said.
“We were trapped underground, and the air became very bad. We had to climb over others to escape. Many, I fear, were crushed. Her suitcase, as you see, was lost. How do we get her papers replaced, do you know? She’s lost her ration book as well, and I …
” He took off his hat and ran a hand through his graying hair. “I don’t know what to do,” he finished.
“Leave the city,” the man said, sounding bored. “Find an official once you’re evacuated. That will do you more use than God.”
“Yes,” Dr. Becker said. “Thank you.” The man nodded and walked away, and we slipped into the church.
I began to shake, but Dr. Becker said, “Come. Hurry. We must get back.” So there was no time to panic.
In the tunnel, though, I saw rats scuttling away at the edge of my flashlight’s glow and nearly screamed.
How relieved I was to make it back to this dark hole again, where I haven’t yet seen a rat—or the SS!
Once we returned, we gave the children Wurst and cheese with bread—that isn’t going to keep for long anyway—and Dr. Becker held the light for me while I found the correct stone in the cistern wall and removed the pieces of the parure.
“Three of the pieces will fit,” I said, feeling at the cuffs of Franz’s overcoat. “But the tiara won’t.”
“What’s the problem?” Dr. Becker asked.
“I can put the necklace in the left cuff,” I said.
“And sew through the back side of the sleeve like so, anchoring it in place and making it less lumpy. The wool is very heavy, and I don’t think it’ll show.
” I removed the glittering thing with its huge emerald center stone, its many diamonds, from its pouch, so I could arrange it around the entire cuff.
Even that was a pang—how many times had I seen my mother take it out of its pouch of purple velvet!
“And the brooch and earrings in the right cuff,” I said, “sewing them into place also. But the tiara—how do I hide the tiara?”
“In your rucksack,” Dr. Becker suggested. “That’s the only place. But—no. Too dangerous. A rucksack is too easily seized and searched.”
“I’ll come back for it later,” I said. “It can stay hidden here for now. It’ll be safe here.” I put it and the bag that had held the necklace back into the cavity, then hefted the stone, fitted it back in place, and tested the mechanism. “I don’t see how anybody will find it.”
“What if we can’t come back?” Gerhardt asked. He and Andrea had been sitting on the broad edge of the stone cistern, swinging their legs as they ate and seeming for once like actual children. “The Russians are coming. They’ll kill us if we come back.”
“Who says?” Andrea scoffed. “The Russians aren’t who we have to worry about, silly. It’s the Germans.”
“But we are German,” Gerhardt said.
Andrea sighed in exasperation. “You don’t understand. You’re a child. We’re Jews.”
“Not anymore,” Dr. Becker said firmly. “We’re no longer Jews. We’re now Catholic.”
“But you can’t just—” Andrea began.
“Yes,” Dr. Becker said. “We can, and we must. I’ll explain on the way.”
“I’ll take the stars off your clothing,” I said. “Bring them to me.”
After that, Gerhardt held the flashlight while I sewed the pieces of the parure into the cuffs of Franz’s coat.
I can’t imagine that I’ll have to sell them.
I have money and ration books, and the war can’t last long now.
When it’s over … well, when it’s over, who knows what will happen?
Most people will be poor, won’t they? There’ll be work cleaning up, if nothing else, although the aches in my body tell me that this isn’t the work for me.
Perhaps I can become a maid. I should know how to do that after watching them work all my life.
I can’t think about that now, though. I can’t think ahead at all. Leaving the palace, now that we’re safely underground again, leaving the protection of my parents and my name, leaving them unburied, for that matter, and heading who knows where …
I can’t do it. How do I do it?
I must do it, though. I have no choice.