6. Lilah
6
LILAH
I held the screw in my hand like an unearthed diamond. I’d done it: I’d gotten the bolt off, had freed the screw from the bracket attaching the nightstand to the floor.
I'd almost cried with relief. It was pathetic really. Now that I had the screw in my hand, it looked so small, so… useless, but it was more than I’d had an hour earlier.
Now I just needed to figure out when to use it.
It was fully dark out now, the blackness feeding into my darkest fears. I felt like I was alone in the universe, drifting through space where no one could hear me scream.
I was tired and dizzy, a sign that my heart was having trouble pumping blood through its faulty valve, and the back of my neck burned under the gauze bandage. I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath, tried to focus on the air moving in and out of my lungs.
Please… just let me stay conscious long enough to get off this boat .
It didn’t feel right to direct my prayers to God, not my mom’s god anyway. I’d abandoned him long ago, and while I was a lot of things — had become a lot of things since moving in with Nolan, Jude, and Rafe — I wasn’t a hypocrite.
Still, I couldn’t help feeling like there was some kind of primal force out there, some kind of energy that might be listening. It made me feel better to voice the plea, to believe someone or something might be listening.
I knew escaping the boat wouldn’t be the end of my problems. There was nothing for miles all around. Presumably, we were anchored in a deep part of the ocean. What was I going to do, pick a direction and swim? Hope for the best?
Jumping off the boat was probably a death sentence, but if it came to a choice between being trafficked by Mr. Suit or being shot in the head and dumped overboard, I’d take my chances in the water. I’d stopped handing my fate to others when I’d left my mom’s house, when I’d learned to protect myself.
If I was going to die, I was going to do it on my terms.
Now I had two choices: try for an escape when they brought my dinner tray or wait for breakfast in the morning.
The other boat will be here soon …
The German woman’s words had sent a chill down my spine. Another boat meant more people. Probably more guards.
It also meant a change from the routine of the past thirty-six hours. I had no idea what to expect then, no idea if I’d have another opportunity at escape.
Still, the thought of ending up in the water in the dark sent a shock of pure terror through my body. I’d never liked deep water, had always had too vivid of an imagination, had been able to picture the shadow and shape of things gliding beneath my feet, the endless expanse of water.
I’d be jumping into the unknown, the odds of drowning or being eaten by a shark greater than the odds of survival, and I’d be doing it in the dark.
But darkness also meant cover. If I jumped overboard during the day, it would be easy for my captors to see me, find me, haul me back onto the boat, or worse. And maybe I’d get lucky and be able to snag a life vest on my way down.
Basically, there were no good choices. I was kind of fucked either way, but I liked my chances in the dark better, and I pushed through the fear that pulsed like a living thing at the center of my body and worked to get my head around the plan.
Knock the woman off-balance, surprise the guard with the screw, get out of the room.
Run.
Jump.