CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Lana pulled up to the house Jayson told her was his. She looked at it for a few seconds before looking away.
Part of her was glad that he’d managed to find something to create a home with someone of his choosing, but part of her was hurt that he had moved on so easily while she was still struggling with his loss all these years later.
“Mom and Dad purchased it while I was in the hospital in Germany. It was their way of believing I would come home. Dad knew I would need the space to be with the darkness, so Mom wasn’t worried more than she already was.”
Lana’s heart seized at the information. He’d been in the hospital…severely injured.
“H-how bad…” Lana had to stop and catch her breath, clearing her throat. “How badly were you injured?”
“Let’s go inside and I’ll make us a cup of coffee. I’ll answer any question you have. Plus, you can see where the kids will be when they are with me.”
“Okay.”
Lana got out of the vehicle and numbly followed Jayson into the house. She had to keep telling herself that he was standing in front of her, breathing and talking.
Lana sat at the kitchen table and watched as Jayson went about making the coffee. They made small talk about the twins.
When Jayson set her coffee in front of her, she had to blink, realizing she’d zoned out in a way. Why the news of him being hurt had her so fucked in the mind, but it did.
When Jayson sat across from her, she finally took her first real look at him. While he still looked like the boy she’d fallen hard for, she could see he’d aged with the lines forming around his eyes.
She noticed the scar that went through his right eyebrow and the scar on his jaw that seemed to flow from his upper jaw to just below it. She could tell he worked out more than he used to in high school.
His eyes were colder, more assuasive than they were in the past. He’d always been observant and hard, but his years in the military honed it to make him a stone-cold man.
“How bad were you hurt in the ambush?” Lana asked softly.
“I was shot multiple times. Had shrapnel from a roadside bomb in my left leg. Head trauma. Serious internal injuries. Like I said earlier, Jefferies and I made it, but we’d been through hell and back.
Dad said the doctors told him I’d coded a couple of times enroute from the zone to base hospital, then from Afghanistan to Germany.
Mom and Dad thought they were going to lose me.
I was in a coma for two weeks before they brought me out. I was pretty bad from what they said.”
“I-I didn’t know. I never knew,” Lana stuttered as her breath hitched.
“Hey, hey. I’m here, Lana.”
She didn’t know what came over her when she started sobbing uncontrollably. She’d almost lost him for good, and it was her fault for not trusting him.
“Hey! What’s wrong, Lana?”
She’d stood up and had wrapped her arms around her waist as she’d stalked toward the open bay window in the back of the living room that faced his large fenced in back yard. She couldn’t stop the tears and the nightmares from playing over and over in her head.
While the house was a nice size, the yard was bigger. She figured it was situated on at least four aces of land altogether.
She didn’t react when she felt his arms encase her. She was afraid it was a dream at this point.
“Lana, look at me.”
She turned her head slightly, looking at him through her lashes, afraid of the tricks her mind might play on her at this point. When she felt his lips on her temple, she broke.
Her sobs became gut-wrenching and painful. She couldn’t catch her breath.
All she could do was feel the pain her body was putting her through at the thought of her having almost lost the one person, besides her children, that gave her life meaning. The man she couldn’t help but still love no matter what.
The memories they’d shared, the laughter, the tears. All of it came rushing back, just like the pain her body felt when she walked away when she’d thought he’d betrayed her.
She buried her face inside of his neck when she felt him lift her up and carry her into a room. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hold tight, afraid this was all a nightmare in her mind.
She didn’t protest or fight him. She curled into him as he murmured softly to her as he carried her.
She felt him lay her down on a bed and crawled in beside her as he held her tight. All she could do was grip his shirt as if he would slide away if she didn’t.
When the sobs started to quiet down, she suddenly felt embarrassed. Yet, her fear was still there.
“Hey, are you okay?” She heard his soft question.
“I’m sorry. Hearing what happened, all I could think about was the kids never getting the chance to know you.”
“Was that all you were thinking about, Lana?”
Lana’s heart seized at his question. Could she truly admit what she was feeling about everything?
“Yes…no. Knowing I was wrong about everything with Brandie, I realized I would have cost you time and everything with the twins. Everything would have been my fault.”
“Lana…baby…”
When Jayson crushed her into his chest, she found the courage to softly admit what was in her heart.
“Or tell you I’ve never stopped loving you.
Every night I cried myself to sleep wishing you had been there through the pregnancy, watching them say their first words.
Take their first steps. Their first day of school.
Everything. It would have all been my fault. ”