Chapter 16 - Cole
CHAPTER 16 - COLE
T his was finally happening. After sixteen fucking years, I finally got the opportunity to meet with my mom. The woman I trusted with my life to protect me from the monsters under my bed. The woman who said she loved me. The woman I resented for so long when some dicks at the foster agency made me believe she and my father died in a car accident and left me at the mercy of predators and abusers. When all this time, they served in the Guild of Guardians until my father passed, and they never let my mother contact me to contradict that lie. Those bastards! I wanted to know who took me away from her and why.
I glanced out the windows at Pantanos Bar and Grill for the twentieth time in the space of a minute. Cars and a bus waited at the traffic lights for their turn to proceed. Pedestrians crossed the intersection, oblivious to the magical town in which they resided. Pop songs played out of the speakers inside the restaurant, combined with the bumble of patrons, making me twitchy.
Mom and I agreed to meet here after a second phone call requesting we meet offsite from the Guild. Why didn’t she want to meet there? Was she avoiding someone? Someone who put her away?
Luna and I came here for dinner on some weeknights to get away from the Academy, the cozy atmosphere, warm fireplace, and hearty food attracting us when we managed to get away for a few hours.
My stomach was a mess, roiling like a stormy sea. Sweat bunched in my armpits. I was so fucking nervous, my body trembled with jitters. I didn’t know what to say to my mother after all this time. I had too many questions and wasn’t sure if we had enough time together to answer them, or if she was able to, given her position in the Guardians.
I swiped at my beer, gulping it down, trying to dull my nerves.
Luna squeezed my thigh. “Are you okay? You don’t look like you’ve taken a breath in a while.”
The burning in my lungs confirmed her statement and I sucked in air.
Relief injected into my veins that she came with me today. I didn’t know what I would have done without her. Likely turned into a crazy mess.
“Hey, look at me.” Luna twisted to face me, her knee bumping into my thigh, her palms coming to brace my face. “This is good. There’s no reason to be nervous. Just breathe and relax, my knight.”
I gave my girl a quick smile to stop her from worrying.
“Thank you for coming with me.” The words rushed out.
“You don’t need to thank me. Ever.” Luna’s warm fingers banished the doubt and fear circling my head. “We’re family. Lovers. Best friends. We have each other’s backs, always.”
She stretched up to kiss my cheek, the action blasting the nerves from my body. I cupped the back of her neck to hold her close, staring into the gold flecks of her kind, hazel eyes.
The door opening, letting in the sound of traffic, snapped me from the moment. A woman entered the restaurant door, dressed in dark slacks, a cream scarf, and woolen coat. The knot in my gut turned upside down as our eyes met. Amber eyes like mine lit with feelings that I told myself long ago were not a part of my life—love, hope, and solace that beat in my chest. My mom was really here.
Serena Mathieson wore her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her features, though strong and vibrant, were creased with lines earned over a multitude of years and a long list of cares. More lines than a person blessed with long life ought to have. The Guardians obviously lived a hard life.
I stumbled out of my seat, fumbling with my hoodie, suddenly conscious that I spilled beer on it. Everything I wanted to say vanished. My throat dried. My palms felt even sweatier. Shit. I was a mess.
Mom hurried past the server asking to seat her, striding through a set of three tables to ours. She was taller than Luna, but a good foot shorter than me. Fit as hell by the muscle beneath her tight jeans.
“Baby?” Her expression of pure determination broke into a warm smile. “Look at you all grown up!” She took me all in, absorbing every detail, from my height, brawn, and face, sliding across to Luna for a beat, then back to me.
“It’s good to see you, Mom.” I bunched my hand in my hoodie, unsure what to do. Reach out and hug her? Shake her hand? Stand like a dumbass? I waited for her to initiate contact.
Her overjoyed smile launched me into her waiting arms. It felt strange and natural to be held by her, a part of me never forgetting the comfort of my mother, another part dulled over with heartache.
She pressed her hand to the back of my head, cradling me, something clunky bumping my skull. “I’m so sorry, baby.” The shaking in her voice said she barely held it together, and fuck, I began to lose it too, bittersweet tears cramming my eyes. “Your father and I never wanted to leave you. They took you away to punish us.”
“Why, Mom?” I croaked, sniffing into her hair.
All the emotions of the past two decades crashed in a violent wave. Grief over my parents’ death warping with loneliness, confusion, feeling unloved and forgotten by a world that didn’t care. And more recently, the torment of discovering my mother was alive and wondering why they left me behind. The devastation [CD1] set my waterworks free. Fuck. I told myself I wasn’t going to do this. At least not in public.
She started to sob, thick, heavy, bitter tears, and it was game on. Arms of steel crushed me with the determination to never to let me go, and hell, neither would I. “We were tasked with investigating a rogue mafia faction within the Guild suspected of dealing with the Brotherhood.”
Luna’s throat clicked loudly. Now wasn’t the right time to tell my mom about my girlfriend’s identity. We planned to tell her at some stage, but not until we got past the awkwardness of our reunion.
Mom sniffed and leaned back, brushing wet hair from my eyes. “We uncovered a nest of traitors and arrested and imprisoned two. The rest scattered like roaches. When we got close to capturing the person we thought they answered to, we were apprehended, thrown into the Guardians, and told the Guild would take care of you.”
Fuck. The Guild was behind all our turmoil, splitting my family apart, throwing me into the foster system, and removing my loving support system. The rejection and loss that accompanied me for so long began to crumble into forgiveness, joy, and peace, and my heart felt lighter than it ever had.
“They told me you both died and threw me into foster care.” My fingers gouged into her coat, resolved to make every person who kept us apart pay.
She braced my face with one palm and brushed my cheek with the other, drawing my attention to the thick, black bracelet on her wrist. Some sort of Guardian technology, by the look of it. “I’m so sorry, baby. We thought our superiors would take care of you.”
Searing pain shot through my chest like a bullet, doing as much damage as possible. What little trust I had for the organization I worked for was obliterated.
Luna’s palm circled my lower back in support.
“Why didn’t you get in contact?” I asked my mother.
Research into the Guardians made me aware that prisoners were allowed a weekend of leave every month and weekly communication privileges.
She swiped at a tear. “Your father and I were housed in maximum security for ten years with no contact with the outside world.”
Whoever charged her to uncover the traitors left my parents to rot in a cell.
I stabbed a hand through my hair to stop me from throwing a chair into a wall. “Fuck, Mom, didn’t your superior advocate for you?”
I had to know or lose all faith in the organization I worked for.
“I’ve got someone who’s on my side now,” was all she gave me, telling me that was the end of that line of questions.
I swiped at the corners of my mouth, pissed at what the Guild did. I forced my anger aside, focusing on the positives. That Mom had someone looking out for her as I had with Luna, Talon, Blaze, and now Gable. Glad that someone cared for her enough to help her seek justice and her freedom. In a place like a Guardians’ prison, you needed someone to have your back.
She clasped my hand and squeezed. “We’re just sorry you got caught up in it. I’ve never forgiven myself for that.”
I brought her back in for a hug, clasping her shoulders tightly. “It’s okay, Mom. I forgive you.”
She sucked in a ragged breath. “You don’t know what that means to me.”
Yes, I did.
I blamed myself for so long. Convinced myself I wasn’t worthy of love, a family, and achievement in my chosen career. Until Luna showed me it wasn’t true, and that I had everything to live for.
“It’s okay, Mom.” I crushed her to me. “You’re here now.”
We held each other for the longest time, my mother stroking my face until she pulled away and swiped at her tears. “I’m sorry. Where are my manners? You brought your girlfriend. Isn’t she beautiful?”
“This is Luna.” I curled my arm around my girl.
Mom shook off her coat and hung it over her seat. “A rum and Coke , please. Double.” If I had a pass from a prison, I’d be living it up too.
“Hi!” Luna squeaked from my mom’s bone-crushing hold.
“Are you hungry, Mom?” I went to her seat and held it out for her to free Luna to breathe and move on from the rough topics.
We all took our places, Luna and me side by side, Mom opposite us.
The server came over to our table. “Can I get you something to drink?”
Mom shook off her coat and hung it over her seat. “A rum and Coke , please. Double.” If I got free from a prison, I’d be living it up too.
“Coming right up.” The server left to fill the order.
“How did you two meet?” Mom asked, and I tensed, sensing the hard question coming. “How long have you been dating?”
I was glad we weren’t on a timer like her call from the prison.
My girl and I glanced at each other. This past week, we practiced our response to avoid the Brotherhood topic and not unnecessarily worry my mother with stories about my expulsion and Luna’s heritage. That could come later. Better to ease her into the deep end, especially when she confessed her history with the organization.
“We met at the Guild. Luna’s a student at the Academy, and I work in the technology department at Bathurst,” I started our rehearsed statement. “We’ve been dating for four months.”
“I’m glad you’ve got someone.” Mom played with the dark bracelet on her wrist. “You take care of my boy for me. Don’t break his heart.”
Luna smiled and squeezed my hand under the table. “I won’t.”
“What’s the bracelet for?” The tech nerd in me burned with curiosity.
Mom tugged her sleeve to conceal it. “A tracker to make sure I return.”
My mother was tracked like she was some sort of animal.
I went to mutter something when the server delivered Mom’s drink, and she removed the straw and threw back half of it.
“Tell me what I’ve missed,” she said, pushing aside her glass.
Most of our time together flew by in a haze of stories, catching up on our past. I skipped most of the crap about the foster families, drugs, living on the street, and my juvenile detention. My mom looked pretty wracked with guilt, and I didn’t want to add to it. We stayed until the staff were packing up the restaurant.
Mom climbed from her seat and pulled her coat on over her toned figure. “I better get to my motel. I’m leaving Sunday. Do you have time tomorrow for another visit?”
Fuck. One day together to make up for sixteen years felt like a pittance.
“I’ll set aside the day.” I got out of my seat, pushing mine and Luna’s chairs to the table, then sliding into my coat.
We left together, standing outside in the brisk wind, Mom rubbing her hands, me holding Luna.
“Listen, baby.” My mom’s expression turned serious. “The factions that put me away are still active. I’ve lost track of them being in the Guardians and have limited access to records. They got to me, and they can still get to you. I want you to stay safe, okay?”
What were the odds that those crooks were connected to the traitor in the Academy? Urgency pumped through my veins to nail the asshole who assisted Nelle and go after whoever put my mom behind bars.
“Do you need me to look into them?” I offered, staying quiet on my investigation with Talon to protect Luna with plausible deniability. We might even call on the Jackal biker for help to stay low and not tip off our enemies.
“No, baby.” Mom waved her hands back and forth. “Stay out of it. I don’t want them to get you to again. I lost you once, and I won’t put your safety in jeopardy again. Let me take care of them.”
My instincts urged me to tell her everything about Luna, her history, and the war brewing with the Guild. Eventually, it won out, and I reached over and took her hand. “Mom, I’m already in deep. I want to help you. I don’t want you to end up like Dad if you’re dealing with traitors.”
I glanced across at Luna, seeking her permission to set the record straight, and she nodded, rolling back her sleeve and revealing her wrist tattoos.
“Mom, this is Luna Prince, Princess of the Brotherhood,” I let it all free.
Mom recoiled, her mouth parting, head shaking, eyes never leaving Luna’s face. “I don’t understand.”
“Mom, I know this looks bad, but it’s not what you think.” I launched into an explanation of how we came to meet and work together, finishing with, “The Guild has given her sanctuary to use her in the war with Camus. If you can give me any information you have, my friends and I can look into it. Maybe get you out? Please, let me help you.”
I held out my hand to her, hoping she’d take it again.
My mother considered this for a long moment, rubbing her jaw. “All right, Cole. I’ll tell you what I know.”
Author note: some of this plot continues in Astra’s series, Her Guardians , where Serena joins her team in book 5.