41. Larkin
We steppedinto the pen with about fifteen other people just in time for the class to start.
When I was with Seth, I would have been nervous to be around so many attractive women in fitted clothing. He had a wandering eye, and I just wrote it off as being a man thing. But Knox never let his eyes stray to another woman.
He held my hand, making me feel like the only girl in the world as we set out our mats and chatted while waiting for the event to begin.
A pretty lady wearing bright pink tights and a matching pink sports bra stepped to the front of the yoga pen and began speaking. “Welcome to goat yoga at Minnicks Ranch!”
Everyone there began clapping, especially me. This was so special and new, and I couldn’t wait to share it with Knox. Couldn’t wait to tell the kids about it!
“Don’t worry about taking pictures because my assistant will be walking around with her camera taking pictures of everyone. She’ll edit and send them out while you’re enjoying dinner.”
A younger girl, maybe still in high school, with a camera held around her neck with a pretty strap gave us a wave.
The instructor, who said her name was Penny, talked us through what to expect and what to do if a goat went rogue or did something we didn’t like. “Just start shaking, like this.” She shimmied her shoulders, making her full breasts wiggle.
I looked to Knox, fully expecting him to be gawking at her. Instead, he was grinning at me, shimmying his shoulders. “Come on, Larkin. Shimmy.”
I let out a relieved, happy laugh and shook my shoulders.
“You’re a natural,” he said, smiling back at me.
I smiled then redirected my attention to the teacher. She said, “We’re going to start in a comfortable seated position, taking easy breaths in and out, while we let in the goats.”
Goat bleating filled the air as they got closer, and I craned my neck to see them through the fence as an older man in jeans and a T-shirt herded the goats to the yoga pen. Then the gate opened, and at least ten tiny goats came rushing into the place, prancing about.
Forget steady breathing, everyone was just sitting, hoping a goat would run by. A tiny black and white one pranced over, and Knox reached out, rubbing it between the ears.
“Jealous!” I said. “I want to pet it.”
He easily picked it up, the animal looking even smaller in his hands, and held it between us.
I rubbed its belly, and it preened like a show dog. Laughter burst through me, and Knox chuckled with me. Our gaze met, and we were all smiles.
“This was such a great idea,” I said to him.
Penny, the instructor, spoke up to draw everyone’s attention back to her. “Now let’s get on our hands and knees to do a few cat cows.”
We followed her instructions, and I had to laugh when Knox got to the cow position and let out a moo.
I usually took yoga so seriously, just moving through the poses and trying to steady my mind. He brought fun to it as well.
We went through a warmup flow, following Penny’s instructions as goats pranced around us and climbed over us. And I was thinking I had to bring goat yoga to the retirement home, until Knox was in a tabletop position, on his hands and knees, and a goat jumped onto his back.
The photographer came by, snapping photos of Knox while he held still to help it stay in place.
And as the shutter sounded, the goat let loose a sound of its own.
Yellow liquid splattered down from the goat, staining his shirt, and he let out a strangled cry, shimmying his body like he’d been electrocuted so the goat would stop. But it took its sweet time, finishing the job before jumping off and prancing elsewhere.
Knox stayed frozen in tabletop position, staring at me in abject horror as the liquid kept spreading.
And I burst out laughing.
“Larkin!” he said. “There’s pee all over me and all you can do is laugh!?”
I laughed even harder, gasping for breath. The problem? I wasn’t as young as I once was. Two pregnancies had done a number on me.
“Oh no!” I cried, squeezing my legs together. I so could not pee my pants on my first date alone with Knox. “Oh no!”
“Now you’re getting it!” he cried. “I can’t take off my shirt! I’ll get pee on my head!”
“Stop!” I cried, laughing even harder.
“It peed on me!” he yelled.
“Oh shit,” I said, covering myself as I peed my own damn pants.
“What?” he said.
Now my expression matched Knox’s while I widened my eyes and yelled at the instructor. “Penny? Tell me you have a shower somewhere.”
* * *
They only hadone shower stall, and there wasn’t room for much in here other than a shower and a small bench to keep your things. And I was mortified as I took off my pee-soaked yoga pants. Knox had the decency to turn the other way and took off his shorts and underwear.
Without speaking to him and wishing I could just disappear down the shower drain, I turned on the water. Knox came over, wrapping his arms around me from behind. His skin was warm, chest firm against my back.
“Are you sure you want to touch me?” I only half joked.
“Hey, some guys are into golden showers.”
Anytime now, floor. Please, swallow me up.
When I didn’t laugh, he twisted me in his arms and hugged me. “Babe, do you know how many people have peed their pants from laughing too hard around me?”
I looked up at him. This had to be a joke.
He lifted his gaze toward the sky, racking his memory. “The first time was when some out-of-town cousins came to visit. She was seven years old and peed her pants out by the barn.”
I let out a chuckle. “So, a child.”
“I’m not done. There was my first girlfriend, when I was sixteen. There may have been some alcohol involved. Then another girlfriend at twenty-one. Fletcher at twenty-four—”
“Wait, I need to hear that story,” I said.
“Fletcher would kill me,” he deadpanned. He reached for the water, and satisfied it was warm, he shuffled both of us under the stream, still hugging me. The water splashed up from the spot where it hit our shoulders as he continued the list all the way up until tonight. “You make lucky number twelve.”
“I hate you,” I said.
He dipped his head down, kissing my cheek, my neck. “Is that so?” he hummed.
Fuck. “You’re not supposed to be turning me on right now. I’m embarrassed.” Still, my traitorous hands went to the back of his neck, nails scratching at his scalp.
He dipped his head farther, drawing a nipple into his mouth and sucking until heat pooled at my core.
“Knox, we’re in public...”
“Door’s locked,” he said before teasing my other nipple.
I held on to him, legs feeling weak as hot water blasted over our bodies, adding to the slickness. His cock was hard, pressing against me. I reached down, taking it in my fist. This man had a way of distracting me, of making me lose all control. And after being the one in charge for so long, I loved that he could give this gift of wild abandon to me.
“Baby,” he moaned softly against my chest.
“I want you,” I told him.
“Back up.” He guided me until my back was against the shower wall, the stream of water completely forgotten now. Then he hooked his hands around both my knees, lifting me off the ground. Seth had never been strong enough for this, especially after I gained weight. But Knox? He made it seem easy as he guided his cock into me, filling and stretching me until I had to bite down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.
“That’s it,” he said, slowly pumping into me.
“God, your cock feels so good,” I said to him.
“Give me your eyes,” he ordered. “I want you to look at me when you speak with that dirty mouth.”
I did as he asked—would do anything he asked of me—and held his face in my hands, watching his expression, the subtle flex of his muscles as he fucked me, eyes on me like I was the hottest woman in the world.
“You look so good when you’re getting fucked by me,” he said, eyes full of heat.
“I can’t get enough of you,” I said, wishing he could somehow get deeper. Wishing I could put words to this overflowing feeling in my chest. And then it hit me. “I love you.” The words spilled out of me before I could even think of holding them back. Before logic could tell me it was too soon to be thinking things like that, let alone saying them. But it was Knox. What we had existed outside of societal norms.
It was more than a relationship. What we had was... everything.
He paused, inside of me, his eyes full of emotion. “Do you mean that?” His voice was rough... vulnerable.
Fear piqued within me. What if he didn’t feel the same way?
But I was tired of being afraid, tired of being less than myself to please a man. So I nodded, cradling his face in my hands. “I know it’s early, but I love you, Knox.”
He brought our lips together, kissing me as he ground his hips into me, filling me, bringing out even more emotions within me.
“I love you,” he said. He pulled back so I could see his face, read the truth in his eyes. “I love you so damn much, Larkin.”
“Oh, Knox,” I whispered, tears already falling down my cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he said, picking up pace, pounding inside of me until I could think or feel nothing outside of him and his love for me. “I love you.”
“Baby, I’m close,” I said.
“Eyes on me as you come,” he said. “All of you is mine.”
I nodded, determined to give him everything he wanted. And I came around his cock so hard I saw stars in my eyes. But most of all, I saw him coming with me, shaking with the force of it all.
When all the waves had passed, he slowly lowered me and held me until I found my feet. “Knox,” I whispered, looking up at him. This was all so overwhelming, so new.
“I know, baby,” he said, drawing me into the shower stream. He ran his hands through my hair, making sure it was soaked to my scalp and then used the products attached to the wall to wash my hair with so much tenderness and care, I melted even more right there.
I loved that Knox cared for my kids. But it was even better knowing he could love and care for me too. It was dangerous to hope, to dream—I knew that from experience—but I could imagine us on that front porch together, watching the sunset well into the future, even after the kids were grown and busy living their own lives.
I just hoped that nothing would come along to bring my dreams crashing and burning to the ground.