Chapter Eleven
Of all the things I thought she’d say in that moment, that was none of them.
What the fuck was she even saying? She was insane if she thought I was ever letting that fucker near her.
I was never going to let him within a fucking inch of her until he was as broken as she’d been when she left him.
Tied down, probably already sporting multiple fractured limbs.
“When? He’s never getting near you again, Glory. Never. Do you get that? There’s a whole biker club, two chapters of men, who want to break every inch of him while he screams for mercy that’ll never come. We’re taking him, and we’ll destroy him, and you can watch, but-”
“No! This is my revenge. This is my fucking opportunity to win over him. You won’t ‘take him’. You’ll use me as bait, and let him come for me. You’ll let me fight back before you step in.”
She was fired up, determined, ready to win, and I loved to see that fire in her, but what in the actual fuck?
She had to be out of her damn mind! I was never letting that happen.
Never ever. Nobody else would either. He had to die, but she didn’t have to let him touch her again first. I’d die before I let him get close enough, and that wasn’t the plan.
The plan was his fucking demise, preferably with an audience to see him cry and beg for mercy.
No matter how this panned out, no matter how we destroyed him, one thing was for damn sure…
“Hell NO! Do you hear me? You’re not going to be at his fucking mercy ever again, Glory!”
Glory
Islapped him. Why was I beating on my best friend? Why was I putting my hands on him, when I wanted to be hurting Sean instead?
Nate froze, resting a palm over his stinging cheek, and I knew it must be stinging, because my palm was. I shouldn’t have done it. He looked wounded, his eyes wide and surprised.
“Glory?”
“I’m sorry. I just… don’t take this from me. Please. I need this.”
He took those words to mean that I was insane, and needed to talk to Lissa. He dialled her and put the call on the big screen in the room with us.
The first thing she did was groan softly, eyeing us both shrewdly.
“Okay, what happened?”
I explained, trying my best to say things as clearly as I could, even with Nate butting in constantly.
“I feel like I need this to feel strong again-”
“Which is really fucking hard if you’re beaten by him!”
“Henley, please. Let her speak.”
He huffed beside me, but quieted, at least for a moment.
We were sitting side by side on the sofa, and something in me hated the gap between us.
More than just physical space, but a chasm opening between us because we were on opposing sides of this argument.
This discussion that didn’t need his input.
Only mine. It was my decision to make. It was my future I needed to take back.
“I need to fight back, and more than that, I need to see him seeing me fight back. To know that he didn’t break me-”
“Didn’t he?”
“HENLEY!”
I know we both felt the burn of his words, but my cheeks burned hotter, because he was telling me that’s what he saw. Broken. Destroyed. Defeated. He saw what Sean created out of the woman who first fell for him. He saw only what Sean created. Not me, just the shadowy form I’d returned with.
“Fuck you, Nate! FUCK YOU!”
“Gloria… Glory, please calm down, and take a deep breath. Remember that Henley’s concerned about you, but his opinion really doesn’t matter here.”
“Hey!”
Lissa pointed at him. “You shush for a moment. It’s like trying to corral children right now.
I want you both to take a moment, breathe deeply, and remember that you’re best friends.
That you love and support each other. That you want the best for each other.
This isn’t that. This is you both rebelling against each other, and that’s not what either of you needs. ”
Nate slumped beside me, rubbing his cheek slowly, even though it wouldn’t be hurting anymore. It was probably just a reflex at this point.
“I-”
“She was beating up on me, Lissa. She’s the one picking on me.”
My gasp turned to a giggle, and I reached over to slap his arm, which led to an overblown reaction, and a horrified glance at Lissa on the big screen.
“See? She’s literally bullying me!”
My giggles set him off, and then her, and the laughter seemed to clear the air, at least for the moment, because if the exhausted relaxed feeling I was sinking in to was what he felt too, then maybe we could move past this after all.
Lissa took a deep breath, smoothing a hand over her silky cream blouse. She dressed so smartly, looking like an accomplished businesswoman, and I didn’t even have a look anymore. I wore sweats and t-shirts. I used to know who I was before Sean, but not anymore.
“Okay, I can see what’s happening here,” Lissa said, and we both lifted our heads, our eyes and ears fixed on her, and the pearl of wisdom she was about to bestow upon us.
She grinned at us. “Ready to hear this?”
We exchanged a nervous look. What the hell was she about to say?
“Go on,” I said tensely, wanting nothing more than to grab Nate’s hand and let it offer me strength right now.
“You’re butting heads because you care about each other.
You’re pushing each other for a reaction, because you’re friends.
You’ve always been friends, maybe even a little more, and right now you’re in a forced proximity type of situation, and you’re testing each other out.
You’re trying to see how far you can push each other.
Will one of you snap? Will one of you back down? ”
“She slapped me!” Nate burst out, and she grinned again.
“Exactly. You’re dealing with, not only the aftermath of Gloria’s relationship, but your own too.
How you were before, and how you are now.
You’re finding your place with each other.
I know there are a lot of feelings here, some appropriate for the situation, and some that should be overlooked right now while you heal. Both of you need to heal.”
Both of us? Almost as if I’d asked, Lissa nodded.
“You went through hell, Gloria, we both know that, and Henley suspects things that could well be accurate, but he suffered too. He lost his best friend for years. He wasn’t able to see you, or talk to you, he wasn’t able to protect you.
He’s angry at himself for not preventing it all.
You’re both on edge, and waiting for things to blow up in your faces.
It doesn’t have to happen, but… well, I’m kinda thinking it might help if it does. ”
I shot a nervous glance at Nate, and saw him smirking.
“Like her slapping me, you mean. That kind of blowing up.”
Lissa smiled. “That’s a good start. You said she punched you too, and that’s also a good start. You startled her, and she reacted. Teaching Gloria how to defend herself is a great idea, but don’t be surprised if she needs to let out some aggression and you become the target of that rage.”
“I can take it,” he said firmly, but definitely not wisely, because I probably had more rage in me than he could even imagine. Most of it was directed inward, but if it came out, I don’t think I could stop it.
“You could try a rage room, or some kind of activity literally created for this kind of release, or you could just try beating each other up in that fancy man cave, and see where it takes you.”
Huh. The weirdest advice I ever thought I’d get from a therapist, but then, every situation differed, so maybe the advice had to as well.
“And then?”
“And then maybe you’ll be ready to face him.
Not before. If you go in half assed, and try to entice him to hurt you, you may not be able to stop him.
Don’t underestimate the power he had over you, and remember that if you face him again before you’re ready, you may well just fall back into the safe behaviour that he used to enslave you. ”
Nate lurched up from the sofa, cursing a low stream of words that I was surprised to hear coming from him. That biker club was possibly a bad influence on him, but whether it was the one he was with now, or the previous one, I had no idea.
“Nate-”
“Henley. Please. I… every time you call me by that name, I’m taken right back to there.
Right back to when I fucking failed you, and let you leave with him.
I… I can’t be him anymore, do you get it?
Even right up until you called, I could still handle it, but now?
Now he’s the fucking idiot who let you get hurt.
He’s the fucking moron who merrily went about his life while you were a fucking punching bag, or whatever the hell that fucker did. I can’t be him anymore, I can’t.”
He dropped back onto the sofa, his head in his hands, breaths rasping from his chest as he fought for calm or control, whatever he needed to find within himself.
Lissa cleared her throat delicately, and I took my eyes off him long enough to face her.
“It’s a new start for both of you. Why not embrace that, rather than letting the past dictate your actions or even who you think you are right now.
You both choose who you are now. You both choose your paths, including whether they cross or not.
You both get to command your future. And I think this is a good start.
Henley, why don’t you drop me a message later with a time for us to chat privately.
There’s a lot you’re carrying that I want to try and help with if you’re open to it. ”
He nodded, but didn’t look up again.
“Glory, think about what you feel would help you move on, and confide in him. Henley wants to help you. You matter to him, and I know he matters to you. Friends lean on each other. You’re back together after years apart.
Get to know each other again, the new versions of yourselves.
Reach out to me anytime either of you want to talk anything out.
I can come there too if it helps. Ice loves the man cave. ”
“No shit,” Nate… no, Henley… murmured under his breath.
She was right though. I was seeing him as the guy I left, and he was seeing me as the detritus of what escaped Sean.
We both needed to learn who the other was now.
So we could both grow and heal. I’d been hurt, but I’d clearly hurt him too.
I never wanted that. I just wanted to be loved, and he hadn’t wanted me.
Back then I believed that, but now? Maybe anything was possible now.