Chapter Eighteen
It was one thing after another, first watching one of my prospect brothers getting patched in, and I mean, obviously Rocket was just retaking his place, but it was still a big deal.
Me? I was still rocking the fucking prospect cut with Joe, Simon, and Joey and truthfully, if they ended up patched in first, I just might lose my patience.
All of that paled in comparison to the call I got from Grease as I was about to leave the clubhouse.
Sean was missing. Missing. They were supposed to be watching him, and somehow, he’d slipped the fucking net.
The one thing they were sure of was that he was nowhere near my house, because they’d hacked my cameras and security and monitored the outside.
I had no idea they could do that kind of stuff, but despite the breached privacy issue, it was a fucking relief.
They had eyes on my place, and they knew he wasn’t there. Well, unless he was already inside.
I don’t know how I even made it home alive, I was pushing it so fucking fast, just to get there as quickly as possible.
Seeing her standing in my hallway, eyeing me worriedly, was a relief for more than once reason.
Firstly, thank fuck, he was nowhere near her, but also?
She wasn’t hiding in the man cave, which she’d dubbed the ‘panic room’.
Still, the new problem was keeping her safe until we found the fucker.
I opened my door to Harley, Rocket, and Grease, letting them in with their kit. Whatever the hell they’d brought, I didn’t know or care.
“I need to get back to Glory, she’s downstairs.”
“In this man cave I’ve heard so much about?” Grease headed straight in that direction, and I cursed.
“What is with you guys and no respect for my home?”
He was already prodding the wall for the secret catch, which he found way too fast. I felt like I was losing control of everything.
The situation, Glory’s safety and wellbeing, my fucking home, the lack of a permanent place with the club.
It was all crushing me, and I lost my temper, kicking one of the dining chairs into the wall with a crash.
They all stopped what they were doing, turning to eye me warily.
“FUCK!”
“Okay, man. Just breathe. It’s all going to be fine,” Rocket said, approaching me with his hands in front of him, like he thought I’d attack.
“Fuckkkk,” the word felt like it was pushed from my lungs with the last of my air, and I gasped after, like I was waiting for it to be replenished, and there was nothing. Just nothing.
“Grease, set up here for now. Close that door, and leave her safe down there. She doesn’t know you,” Harley said softly, and Grease immediately followed his instructions.
I was guided into a chair, and a gentle hand pressed down on my back, like maybe they thought I was about to pass out like a pussy.
I wasn’t. I just couldn’t fucking breathe!
“Shhh… it’s okay, brother. She’s safe, okay?
Nothing and nobody can get to her. They have to go through all of us,” Harley said, murmuring something to Rocket, who stepped away from us, leaving just Harley’s boots in front of me.
He kept his hand on my back, and I didn’t move.
It’s hard to fucking move when there’s no air. Why is there no fucking air?
“Small breaths, brother. Just a little air. You can do it.” He moved the chair beside me, and dropped into it, his hand never leaving me.
“This is anxiety and it’s completely fucking terrifying, but it passes, okay? This is all going to be okay. She’s fine. We’re fine. Can you just breathe for me?”
Little gasps of air were reaching me, like I’d forgotten how to take a proper breath, and I felt lightheaded, my palms trembling, fuck, my face was tingling, and it seemed like this would never pass.
How could I protect her like this? How could I keep Glory safe, when I couldn’t even man up and get past this pathetic panic response?
“I’m set up. Nothing’s changed, I’m just hooking up with Ice,” Grease’s low murmur reached my ears, but the words weren’t really sinking in.
“Here,” someone set a glass of water beside me, and I tried taking a deeper breath, just wanting some fucking air in my lungs.
“Shall I punch him? That usually fixes shit.”
A snort escaped me, and then just like that, a full breath.
Air. A chuckle came next, followed by an actual laugh, and then that turned shamefully into something more like a sob, and I cursed.
I lurched out of that seat and staggered out of the room, leaning against the living room wall as my balance slowly returned to me.
Fuck. No wonder I wasn’t getting patched in anytime soon.
What a pussy. I’m supposed to be strong for her. Was this strength? Like fuck.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Harley said, leaning against the doorframe to give me space. It wasn’t enough though. He could see my weakness, and I thought I’d been hiding it so well.
“Ashamed would be a better word,” I said softly, surprised that my breathing was finally back to normal. I hadn’t noticed it happening in all my self-recrimination and frustration.
Harley chuckled, scratching his jaw as he walked into the room and dropped onto the sofa opposite my new best friend, the wall.
“You know, it’s a funny thing. We all do our best to appear strong, and show our best manly selves to everyone, but you know who gets our softer side?
Our gentle side? Maybe what you’d call our human side?
Our women. And you know what can reduce any of us to a panicked mess, and HAS DONE on more than one occasion?
Threats to our women. This isn’t you being weak.
This is you feeling the fear of failing her, but you’re not going to.
You know how I know? Because you’re a badass, brother. Remember how we first met?”
I snorted, straightening up more as the strength seemed to be returning to my limbs at last.
“Yeah.”
“I mean, here I am, getting mouthed at by two big fuckers, and the next, one goes flying, and you’re sitting on him.
He barely had a chance to blink, and you had him down.
You didn’t flinch or worry about anything, you just acted.
That’s who you are. Defending others, protecting those you care about, and worrying like hell that you won’t get it right.
Welcome to humanity, brother. We all get scared.
We all worry we’re fucking things up, and we all have our panic moments.
I’ve had them. Every fucking man you’ll meet has had them.
You were just unlucky to have it happen in front of us.
That’s what’s bugging you, but it’s also why it’s good that it happened, because we were there for you. ”
“I don’t normally-”
He laughed as he got up again, straightening his belt and smoothing his hands over his cut.
“You don’t. We know that. Now can we get back to saving your woman? Grease and Rocket aren’t really all that good when they’re left to their own devices.”
He wasn’t wrong, but what we found wasn’t what we expected. Sure, Grease was jawing away, but at Ice on the comms, and Rocket had his head in the fridge.
“Looking for something?”
He lifted his head and grinned at me. “Too soon to say I’m helping you find your balls?”
A laugh choked out of me, and I flipped him off. “Dickhead.” His wide grin told me he was relieved his joke had found its mark.
“I’m hungry. Can I just like, grab something?”
I shrugged. “Go nuts. Okay, VP, what can I do?”
He grinned. “Go check on your woman. You guys need anything, shout or text and we’ll bring it down. We’ll keep you closed in there until we have news.”
Well hell, I can do that.
“Thanks.”
He nodded, and went to lean over Grease and his laptop.
“Jesus, you copping a feel?”
I laughed as I opened the door, and pulled it closed behind me. I suddenly had hope that we’d get through this, even if Grease was a snarky bastard.
Glory
Henley came back down the stairs, a sheepish look on his face, and an almost shyness in his overall demeanour.
“What’s up?”
He shrugged, dropping heavily onto the sofa beside me. He grabbed the remote and aimed it at the TV.
“Let’s watch something while we wait.”
I snatched the remote and set it beside me.
“No. What happened up there? It sounded like a fight.”
Henley grimaced, dragging a hand through his hair.
“Do we really need to talk about this?”
He groaned as he looked at me, and I raised my eyebrows at him. I could wait him out as long as he wanted, and he knew it.
“Fuck. I’m just freaking out about fucking this up.
I mean, your safety is the only fucking thing that matters, and I’m already messing it up because we don’t even know where he is, and he could be on his way here right now, and I’m completely clueless.
They’re up there doing all the work while I sit down here with you like a fucking liability! ”
I rested a hand on his and smiled, because he had no idea how cute it was when he went on a ramble-fest like that.
“Are you done?”
He huffed a sigh, dropping his head back on the sofa.
“Jesus fuck. I could go on…”
“I don’t doubt it. Can I speak now?”
He side-eyed me and shrugged.
“You can try, but I might not be done. You know how I am once I get started, and besides, what if he shows up and they deal with him before I even get involved? I want a piece of him too. I want to make him pay for every bruise and every-”
I slammed a hand over his mouth to shut him up, and his eyes widened, but he didn’t push me away.
“Sweetheart?” I couldn’t really make out the word, but I knew what he was going for.
“I’m just going to say this once, so shut the mouth and open the ears, got it?” He nodded silently.
“You aren’t messing anything up. This is on me, no… still talking… I’m the one who brought this fucker into our lives, and I’m done being sorry about it. Not because you don’t deserve that, but because I need to move on. I need to accept that I chose wrong, and I won’t do that again, now-”
Whatever I was saying was cut off as my phone started ringing and we both froze. What if he was calling me? What if he was literally ringing to tell me he was coming for me? There was no way he could have this number, but then he had ways of finding stuff out that we didn’t want him to know.
It just kept ringing and we both stared at it as it seemed to wriggle on the table surface with each accompanying vibration.
“Wait. It says ‘Lenore’!” I released Henley and grabbed the phone, swiping the button and tapping the speaker.
“Lenore?”
“Girl, you can stop fearing that fucker. It’s dealt with.”
Wait, what? Henley and I exchanged a stunned look, and he tapped something on his phone as we waited for her to elaborate.
“Say again, Lenore?” Henley asked warily, as the door clicked open upstairs, and heavy footfalls announced the arrival of the three bikers.
“What’s going on?” Harley asked, and Lenore chuckled on the other end of the phone.
“Aw you’ve got a houseful? Check this out.” A popup on the screen requested a change to a video call so I accepted it, and her face filled the screen. She grinned widely, looking every bit the savage I knew her to be, while also being breathtakingly beautiful.
“Uh hi, I said, moving closer to Henley, so he could see her, and so could the three bikers standing behind us.
“I see the gang’s all there,” she said chirpily, as someone muttered in the background, and there was laughter. She clearly wasn’t alone either.
She suddenly turned the phone, and our view went from her face, to an awkwardly shifting plateau of grey concrete, and finally settling on a face. Sean. Oh god. My fingers trembled, and the phone nearly slipped from them, so Henley wrapped his around mine and shared his strength with me.
“He’s… he’s there?”
The guys behind us were chuckling, and then I heard Grease speaking.
“We can go off high alert, man. He’s already been taken.”
“Is that those biker guys, Lenore, love? Let us see.” She groaned and spun the phone back around and two bearded guys appeared on the screen.
“Those fuckers!” Rocket roared, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
The men laughed, and one of them faked a grimace. “You can keep your bone to yourself, bruv, but you’re welcome. I see you’re home, so clearly we helped.”
I had no idea what was going on, or who they were, and Henley was now turned in the seat, murmuring with Harley, who disappeared off with his phone to his ear.
“Why do you have Sean?” I blurted, and the bearded guys sobered.
“Lenore went rogue, love, but we’re always up for beating a prick up.”
“Um, I’m doing it, boss.”
They looked off screen to argue with Lenore, and I glanced at Henley. This was the weirdest, most unexpected situation, and I had no idea how to proceed from here. He shrugged, offering me a tiny grin.
“Yay?” He added two thumbs up, looking adorable in his bemused attempt at relief or humour, or whatever the hell he was going for.