Chapter 9 Canada
canada
BOONE
Fuck. I’d scared her again.
And that was on me.
A stone sank in my chest as I watched Bell disappear into her bedroom.
Wished she would have stayed to talk some more. Even if it was just to argue with me about getting the hell out of her tiny apartment.
But her eyes went hollow when I told her no. Then she just stood up without a word and scuttled into her bedroom. Closing the door I’d left open while she slept behind it.
Like I was something she was trying to keep out.
It took everything I had in me not to push it back open. I hadn’t been lying about needing eyes on her.
My bear had slaughtered the piece of shit who’d done her harm, but it couldn’t calm down. Couldn’t figure out how to help her without upsetting her even more.
This was why the Ayaska mated in threes, I realized.
That wasn’t how it worked in Alaska. We polar bear shifters were all about pretending to be a perfectly normal human one wife, one husband family while keeping our natures hidden. But when Bell closed that door, I realized the Ayaska way had a clear advantage when it came to coverage.
If Niska got in an argument with Zion, then Ravik could go after her and let Zion know over their maul bite that their mate was alright.
I’d seen that happen once. Right in front of me.
“I don’t understand why it matters which Boone brother we choose,” Niska had grumbled after Zion invited me to their two-story Outer Limits cabin to inform her that he and Ravik had made their final decision. “They’re both builders, and they basically smell the same.”
At 6’5” and packing a shit ton of construction muscles, I was larger than either of her current mates, but the new Tuk’Mara threw me a haughty look that made me feel like her smallest servant.
“I assure you, they are not interchangeable, darling,” Zion said, tipping her face back to his, “Also, Ravik and I do not wish to live with Erik’s voice in our heads.”
“But Erik’s a better builder,” Niska argued.
That wasn’t true. I kept my mouth closed, though, knowing I didn’t have the status to argue with her yet.
“Perhaps, but Walker will make for a better mate,” Zion insisted. “This is our final word. By your own traditions, the males decide on their maul. Not the female—even if she is Tuk’Mara.”
Zion always kept it classy. But Niska didn’t appreciate being overruled.
Her humble act fell away at his declaration, and she ran out of their cabin crying.
Zion’s eyes slid to the side. While living in the Outer Limits, I’d learned that tell meant a bear was having a mental conversation with one of their maul.
Ravik nodded and went after her while Zion stayed behind to reassure me everything would be smoothed out by week’s end and that he was “most committed” to taking me on as their third maul.
Niska was wrong about my older brother being a better fit. Yeah, Erik was cool. Always joking around and taking her for rides on his hog. Way more fun than me. But that was because she’d never seen him in the morning, hungover and stumbling around.
My own mother had died in childbirth, leaving only my father to raise Erik and me. He wasn’t exactly nurturing. Unless nurture was what he was looking for at the bottom of those whisky handles he downed every night. And Erik had learned by his example.
On paper, it looked like Erik was being groomed for leadership, but that was only because my father needed me to manage him and the crew behind the scenes.
I’d liked the idea of being a family guy, instead of the younger son managing two barely functioning alcoholics. Zion and Ravik had chosen the right guy.
But not according to Niska.
And now, here I was, thirty years later, wishing I had someone else to help me figure out this situation with Bell.
She spent the next few days recovering from the last beating that piece of shit would ever give her.
She kept the door closed, only coming out to use the bathroom, shower, and occasionally pull in the bowls of chili and oatmeal I set outside her door with as light a knock as I could manage with my heavy fist.
But mostly, she slept.
Leaving me on duty as the sentry she didn’t want.
Luckily, I had no problem sleeping on any hard surface, even in my human form. I caught my nightly z’s on the floor, as close as I could get to her door without blocking her in and out access.
Sometimes, she came out at night to use the bathroom. She’d always be wearing the shirt I gave her.
The sight and smell of her encased in my scent never failed to claw at my chest. It made me want to gather her small body up in my arms and never let her go.
But she was back to not talking to me. She’d slip into the bathroom to do her business, then retreat right back into her bedroom, like a dream come and gone.
On Day Five of our standoff, I was just about to warm up the chili I’d made the night before when the Canadian nephews called. Again. Apparently, the short email I’d sent them about me having laid eyes on Bell and her ex no longer being a factor wasn’t enough.
I’d been ignoring the calls from the Canada number for days, but that night, I answered with a grunted, “What?”
“Let me get this straight,” Mak said, sounding annoyed. “You laid eyes on her. She’s done with the ex. But she didn’t say whether or not she’d be coming to the Joining Ceremony in July.”
Koda added, “Also, if you talked to her four days ago, why has she still not gotten in contact with Holly and Noelle?”
I tell ya, I’d always been a straight shooter—some would say to a fault. But I was learning how to lie on the fly real good.
First came me lying to Bell about not trying to kiss her that first morning, when she’d looked at me so prettily and released an arousal scent, which, in hindsight, she probably didn’t even realize she’d done.
That morning, I would have done anything, said anything to erase that terrified look from her brown eyes.
And now, I’d do anything, lie about anything, to help her out.
“Tell your mates she’s fine.” I considered this only a partial lie. She wasn’t fine now, but my new mission in life had become making sure she would be at some point in the future. “Yeah, she’ll probably be in touch soon.”
Silence, then Koda bit out, “Uncle Walker, that’s not enough. Holly and Noelle aren’t going to accept ‘the uncle we haven’t seen in years said she’s fine.’”
“Look, I get that you’re in full-tilt Papa Bear mode, but you asked me to check in on her, and that’s what I did.” I jabbed a finger into the stove’s buttons to light up the electric burner underneath the pot. “Not going to apologize for not having anything more to tell you.”
“Can you go back?” Mak asked. “Let her know that Noelle’s really worried about—”
“I told you she’s fine.” I only partially lied again. “She’s safe. She’ll get in touch when she’s ready. Tell your mates to cut that worrying shit out and concentrate on growing your babies.”
“That’s not something you can say to a modern female these days,” Koda answered. “And Mak’s right. If you could just tell her about how Holly—”
I rolled my eyes. “Alright, well, I’ve said all I’m going to say on this. Hanging up now. Bye, nephews.”
I hung up on Koda and Mak before they could whine any further about me not catering to their mates in the same way they did.
And as soon as I did, the door to the bedroom opened.
Bell stood there, and this time she didn’t go straight to the bathroom.
I couldn’t cross the room fast enough. Leaving the chili simmering on the stove, I went straight up to her to ask, “You okay? You need something?”
After four days, I was a dog panting for any crumb she’d give me.
“No, I…”
She looked to the side in that cute way of hers and visibly squirmed. “I heard you on the phone with—I guess it was both my daughters’ fiancés?”
Mates. But I wasn’t Zion. So I didn’t bother to correct her.
“They sounded worried. About Holly and Noelle.” She peeked up at me with a hopeful expression. “Are they always like that? Looking out for them? Caring about their feelings?”
“Ah, well, I haven’t talked to them much,” I admitted, rubbing a hand down the back of my neck. “But if you’re asking if they’re good guys who love your daughters to the moon and back and would never hurt them like your ex hurt you, then the answer’s yes.”
She sagged against the door jamb, splaying a hand over her heart. “Wow, I don’t think I realized how much I needed to hear that. I’m glad—glad they’re safe, with two men who love them.”
Not men. And not just two.
But that wasn’t my information to pass on to her.
She hesitantly spoke up again. “Could I… Did you find my phone?”
Her voice wasn’t what I’d expected it to be. I’d found her in an old-timey house dress, chained to the bed. I thought it would be soft. High. Like a princess.
But it was husky, a little knowing—sexy, but ambient, like a coffeehouse song.
I was sorry to have to tell her, “Yeah, he had two phones on him, and neither of them survived the altercation with my—um, me.”
I caught myself before I let on about my polar bear. “If you want to call them, you can use my phone.”
I started to reach for it, but she shook her head. “No, that’s okay.” Instead of looking disappointed that she couldn’t call her daughters on her phone, she let out another breath of relief. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to them yet. There’s so much to explain. And I’m still not sure how.”
I slid the phone back into my cargo pocket. Gazed down at her. Tried not to stare as I broke another awkward silence with, “You look good.”
She startled and stood up straighter, her eyes refilling with wariness. Like she’d just remembered she was scared of me.
I pushed down all the things I wanted to say about that, and instead explained, “I mean, your face. No more bruising.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m not even that sore anymore. But, um, I’m pretty sure I don’t have enough money to pay my June rent, and I no longer have a job.”