11. Ivy
CHAPTER 11
Ivy
T heir idea of making the best of the holidays started with pampering me.
They let me sleep in, which was simultaneously thoughtful and disappointing, because I’d hoped to enjoy some private time with them in their massive bed. They were right. It put the sleigh bed to shame both in size and comfort. Between the mattress, which didn’t even have any springs jabbing me in the ribs, and their warmth radiating into me, I crashed all night and feel rested for the first time in…maybe ever.
Usually, the slightest sound will rouse me.
Not even the raging blizzard did that.
So it was a little too private when I woke, and there was only Snowflake to greet me with a purr and a head butt, as terrific as that was.
As soon as they heard me flush the toilet in their ensuite bathroom, which is bigger than my apartment, they sent Pax in to say good morning and check that I was alright.
He did so from a disgustingly safe distance and with all his clothes on.
Sure, he took incredible care of me—drawing a steaming bath, filling it with herb-scented salts, providing a robe so fluffy I’ll look like an unshorn sheep once I wear it, offering to wash my hair—in between asking me ten thousand times if I am sure they didn’t do any lasting damage when they ravaged me last night.
While I soak, only my shoulders and head are visible with my hair piled on top of my head and a six-inch layer of bubbles floating on the water. Each of them has come in to say hi and check on me.
Annoyingly polite.
Downright gentlemanly.
Cole at least had the indecency to show up without a shirt, his torso slicked with perspiration, and a pair of cotton navy shorts hanging low on his hips after what was obviously a brutal workout. I’m not surprised they have a gym in this place. It’s far more than I imagined anyone really had.
I might have liked another demonstration of just how extra they are in bed too, but every time they look like they might be getting naughty ideas again, they take a break and leave me with one of the other two who’s had a chance to cool off.
No matter how long I soak in the jetted tub, the recirculating water stays hot. Light pours in the window as the sun comes out and turns the blanket of snow that fell overnight into a field of glittering diamonds.
It’s gorgeous and serene.
Untouched.
Like I used to be.
I’m about to reluctantly vacate in search of a glass of water or maybe a piece of toast when Pax returns with an enormous wooden tray laden with a smorgasbord of tidbits.
I’ve only ever seen those fancy charcuterie platters in social media posts, but he presents this one with a flourish, setting it across the freestanding white tub. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I brought a variety of stuff.”
“For me?” My stomach cramps. No one’s ever done something like that. Do I deserve it? What if I can’t finish it? I don’t waste food.
“I might sneak some too.” He smiles as he slides over a wicker basket that I assume is a hamper and sits on top of it so he’s at my height.
When I hesitate, he tips his head. “Don’t want to touch the food with your wet hands? I’ll feed it to you. What do you want to try first?”
I blink furiously to try to hide the moisture gathering in my eyes and play off the sting in them as a symptom prompted by the scented steam.
“Are you okay?” He isn’t fooled for an instant. He leans in and cups my face, his warm brown eyes worried. “Where does it hurt? Do you need a doctor? We can arrange a telehealth appointment if we need an expert. Our friend Gunner has a paramedic on staff at his club who is very discreet. Poppy will know what to do.”
“Pax.” I cut him off before he can work himself up any more. “I’m good. I swear. It’s just, uh, I’m not used to someone caring so much.”
“About your health?” He frowns. “You need better friends.”
“No,” I whisper, unable to meet his gaze. So I stare at the painstaking effort he took to lay out the cheese and crackers and slices of hard-boiled egg and ham on the platter. “About making sure I eat enough, never mind that I like any of my food.”
“Oh.” He puts his finger under my chin and lifts my face to his. “Well, I care about that a hell of a lot. Some of everything then.”
For a while, we sit in silence as he picks up morsel after morsel, slipping bites between my lips before sampling tastes himself. It makes me feel better that he joins me, especially since the more he gives me of the delicious treats, the more I want to devour them.
“Baby, you’re so hungry.” He massages my shoulders, loosening the knots while I chew and swallow. “It’s okay. Take more. There’s plenty downstairs if you want another serving.”
Eventually, though, I’m stuffed.
I can’t remember ever being full before in my life. Satisfied. Content.
But when Cole and Gabriel rejoin us, both now wearing sweats and the softest looking long-sleeved shirts—Cole’s black, and Gabriel’s blue—I feel…whole.
They’re driving me insane, being so careful with me.
And while it’s nice, it’s also agonizing.
If they’re not going to set the sheets on fire with me, then they might as well let me be and get on with their agenda. “What were you planning to do for the holidays?”
“First thing is finding out why some appetizers on a tray made you cry.” Pax looks to Gabriel and Cole, sharing his concern with them.
What would it be like to have people to lean on like that?
To work through things with together.
Maybe I’m about to find out.
“What the hell did you say?” Cole crosses his arms while Gabriel paces at the foot of the tub.
“Something’s not right.” Pax rats me out, but somehow I don’t mind.
I could really use a hug right now, and he gives great ones.
Gabriel reaches down and snatches me from the tub. Water sluices off me, splashing onto him though he doesn’t seem to give a fuck. “Baby boy, dry her off.”
He holds me while Pax does as he’s told. Cole tries to avert his eyes but sneaks smoking-hot glances at my naked body before I’m bundled in the cloud-like robe.
Gabriel carries me into their room and sets me on the bed.
All three of them swarm me.
“Why are you starving?” Pax wonders before Gabriel asks, “Where’s your family?”
Cole growls, “Isn’t someone going to be pissed when you don’t show up for the holidays?”
“Yeah, Mr. Parker.” I groan. “I told you, I’m sure he’s going to fire me.”
“You’re not going back there. They don’t treat you right and their coffee is shitty.” Gabriel shakes his head.
“So awful you come in all the time?” Yeah, right.
“We don’t go there for the coffee.” Cole rubs his stomach. “It practically burns a hole in my gut, but I slam it down anyway so I have an excuse to see you.”
Well, that shuts me up.
“Who else do we need to call to let them know you’re okay?” Pax holds my hand.
“Uh, no one.” I wince. The last thing I want is their pity. “Look, I grew up in a family that was religious. Like really religious. Fundamentalists. Pretty much a cult, okay? They had seventeen children. Not all of them made it out, but once authorities realized we weren’t being cared for, they put us in the foster program. I was nine.”
I hate the rage simmering beneath Cole’s slowly tensing muscles.
Worse is the horror in Gabriel’s stare.
So I rush through the rest, hoping we can move on. “The problem was the people I got placed with were only in it for the checks. It was even worse than with my birth family. They kept me locked up, and I was lucky if I had moldy crumbs to survive on. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I escaped.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Cole punches his palm, making me flinch.
Gabriel wraps his arm around me and tucks me to his chest. “You’re safe with us. I swear. He’s angry for you, not at you.”
“I’m so sorry, baby.” Pax kisses my temple then starts finger-combing my hair.
“It’s fine now.” I clear my throat. “I don’t have much, but I get by. I put myself through school, and I’m trying to make a better future for myself. It’s just going to take a little time. Less now that you guys helped me out with— ahem —last night.”
“Son of a bitch.” Gabriel pinches the bridge of his nose. Does he regret what we did now that he knows I’m just some gutter rat? Nowhere near the league of these three living in their rustic castle on the mountaintop.
“Don’t worry. It’s fine. I swear.” It’s true even. “With the head start from that performance, I’ll have plenty to move somewhere safer, and I won’t ever have to choose between food and rent or heat again.”
“Damn straight you won’t.” Cole slices his hand through the air. “You’re OnlySantas record-holder for single-night earnings. What we sent you in advance is a blip compared to the full payout.”
“What?” My gaze swings from him to Gabriel to Pax, both of whom are nodding.
“And if you wanted to, you could make a killing on the site.” Gabriel’s tone is flat, though I’m not sure why exactly. I hope what I’ve shared hasn’t changed how they see me.
“Just tell me this. Did you feel like you had to sell your virginity to get ahead?” Pax gulps.
“No.” Couldn’t he tell how much I craved them? Still do. “The money was only one part of it. I—uh—really wanted you three. Even when I didn’t realize who you were. Besides, you didn’t know I was a virgin. It wasn’t part of the deal.”
“I still owe you a spanking for that.” Gabriel sighs.
“Though I have to admit, I didn’t have any idea that being a cam performer could pay this well.” I gesture around at their space.
“I told you.” Pax whips his stare to Gabriel.
“What?” I look between them, wondering what I’m missing.
“This dumbass didn’t believe us when we told him there’s no way you realized we aren’t just performers on the site. We own it.” Cole’s chest puffs up. “We built it. People laughed when we pitched a cam site skinned to seasonal events and holidays. But it’s gotten us here.”
I can’t say I ever thought I’d enjoy being railed by three men in Santa masks either, but clearly I did. The illusion of stranger danger combined with the comfort of giving myself to the only three men I trust enough to take me for the ideal fantasy. “Wow, that’s… Congratulations.”
You mean to tell me, all those times they were earnestly discussing business at a high top in the corner of the coffee shop, they were talking about OnlySantas?
And I had no idea.
But why would it have mattered if I had?
“Okay, you’re right.” Gabriel hugs me to him then. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”
“For what?” I’m still confused.
“He was worried you only applied—and were interested in us—because you knew we were rich.” Cole rolls his eyes, denting his reputation on OnlySantas as the scary one. “Gabe’s got his own scars. A trashy ex-wife who used him long enough to try to take him and the company for all he’s worth.”
“And that one”—he points to Pax—“was terrified you’d look down on us because we’re cam guys and love showing off what we have together with the world.”
“Um, nope. Definitely didn’t hate that.” In fact, I wish I recorded it after the livestream I watched ended. “Or being part of it either. It was really…special…having people be unafraid of showing anyone and everyone that they’re into me.”
“So into you, you have no idea.” Pax leans toward me as if he’s going to kiss me, but at the last second Gabriel clears his throat.
Pax jumps from the bed like Snowflake when I catch her scratching something she shouldn’t.
“You might not get it yet, but you’re going to.” Gabriel rolls from the bed and stands too. “I’ll go get your clothes.”
“Is the pass open?” Suddenly that sounds terrible. “It’s only Christmas Eve.”
“No.” Gabriel strides from the room, pausing only long enough to smile at me over his shoulder. “But now we’ve all got holiday plans. Meet us downstairs in ten minutes.”
His itinerary involves all the things I’ve seen on TV but never got to experience myself before now.
Tromping through knee-high snow to chop down a pine tree, stopping on the way back to have a snowball fight where the guys mostly peg each other while I laugh. Warming up with hot cocoa piled with marshmallows—courtesy of Pax, of course. Decorating the living room and stringing lights on the tree. Being lifted up by Cole to put the star on the tippy top. Swiping a streak of flour off Gabriel’s cheek while we bake cookies together. Singing carols as we hang their stockings, and one for Snowflake, on the mantel. Cooking a huge lasagna dinner and eating it together, all of them insisting I take the last slice for thirds. Then settling down to watch classic holiday movies together on the couch while they load me up with popcorn, the still-warm cookies we baked, and all sorts of snacks. The glass of mulled wine they hand me sets me over the top. I might never move again.
Cuddled together—Snowflake purring on my lap—as the flames in the fireplace subside, I can’t suppress my yawn, no matter how desperately I wish this day could last forever.
“One last tradition.” Pax braves a stern look from Gabriel. What that’s about, I’m not sure, but I’m too happy to care.
He pulls a piece of mistletoe from the pocket of his sweats and dangles it over my head.
“No one get carried away,” Gabriel warns in a low growl.
Cole doesn’t wait for any more permission than that. He closes his lips over mine and shares the taste of man and spiced wine. It’s only starting to get really good when Pax steals me away for a turn. I arch into Gabriel’s embrace, so he nudges Pax aside and claims his first kiss.
When I’m ready to climb them, or race up the stairs to their bed, they turn and focus on the end of the movie marathon like their souls aren’t on fire, like mine.
Eventually, their nearness, heat, and the excitement of the day lull me into a doze.
I’m barely aware of Gabriel scooping me into his arms and carrying me up the stairs to their bed when they tuck me in, and themselves beside me.
How greedy am I to have wished for just one more first?
Making love with the three men I’ve fallen hard for.
Snowflake prances across the pile we form under the down comforter before stretching out across all of us, kneading the fluffy bedding, and joining us in a peaceful night’s rest.