Chapter 17 #2
As Emeline listened to him, it came to her that the Bridegroom List was more than a ruse to fool Papa. It involved real people, with real feelings. Tobias didn’t know her well enough to truly be in love, but still, the tenderness in his eyes made her feel guilty for involving him in her game.
Softly, she covered his hand with her own, grateful that he hadn’t uttered the word marriage. “I like you so very much. Can we be friends for now?”
He looked hopeful. “Yes. Of course!”
Just then, the sound of footsteps on the stairs reached Emeline and she brought Tobias’s hand down from her cheek.
“Ah, here is Louise.” She turned to greet her cousin, who was looking flushed and pretty in a new dress of leaf-green silk.
“I am eager to hear what parts of Kew Gardens you visited after I left you today. Let us sit down for tea and Dora’s first attempt at baking seed cake.
” With a mischievous smile, she added, “The girl is not a gifted cook, I fear, but she never stops trying.”
It wasn’t until Tobias took his leave and Louise curled up on the settee with a purring Bartholomew that Emeline was finally able to steal a few minutes alone. Hearing the clock strike half past three, her heart sank. Hart had not come after all…did not mean to come.
Again, his harsh words echoed in her heart: Curse it, this is who I am.
Emeline felt an overwhelming need to get out of the house, to walk, perhaps to lose herself and not find the way home. Quickly, she donned a straw bonnet, wrapped herself in a blue shawl, scrawled a note for Louise, and went out through the front door.
Her heart ached as she walked. If only Anthony, who lived only a short distance away, was at home. She could confide in him, or Frederica! They understood the struggles one endured when in love. But they were still with the Darwin family at their new country home.
Vehicles of every description passed to and fro on Chesterfield Street amid the shouts of drivers. Emeline pressed on, walking as quickly as she could in her skirts and narrow shoes. She had just reached South Audley Street when a voice broke through her reverie.
“Emeline! Emmie!”
Whirling around, she saw her mother waving from an open landau. Tears sprang to Emeline’s eyes. “Mama!”
Helivet, who had been the family’s coachman as long as Emeline could remember, hastily maneuvered the horses over to the edge of the walkway. Moments later, the Frenchman sprang down, opened the door for her, and helped her into the carriage.
“How fortuitous! We were just coming to fetch you,” Mouette announced as Emeline settled gratefully into the seat opposite her. “It is a fine afternoon, and we hoped you might join us for a drive in the park.”
It was then that Emeline focused on the diminutive figure seated next to her mother. “Grandmama!” She leaned forward to embrace first her grandmother, Devon Raveneau, then Mouette. “How did you know that I needed you both today?”
The two older women exchanged glances. “We have not had time with you to simply talk, Emmie,” said her mother. “We miss you.”
“And we love you,” Grandmama chimed in.
“Oh, I cannot express how wonderful it is to be with you both.” She knew an urge to sob. “You see, my heart may be breaking.”
“Perfectly normal, I assure you,” came Devon’s calm assurance. “I wish I had had someone to confide in openly when I was young…and falling in love with your grandfather.”
Emeline looked from her grandmother, whose winsome beauty belied her age, to her lovely, albeit worried-looking mother. “Will you both promise not to tell Papa anything I share with you today?”
“Of course!” they cried in unison.
The landau slowed as it approached Hyde Park corner, and Emeline impulsively rose and came across to squeeze herself between the two other women. Looking from one to the other, she declared, “I have fallen in love with a rake.”
To her consternation, her mother and grandmother exchanged glances and began to laugh. Emeline stiffened between them. “May I ask what you both find so amusing?”
Devon leaned over and kissed her cheek. “My dear, perhaps you have forgotten because we are no longer young ourselves, but your mama and I also fell in love with rakes!”
“Do you mean Grandpère and Papa? Were they both truly rakes?” she asked, doubtful.
“Not only rakes, but pirates,” confirmed Devon.
“Hmm.” Emeline considered this for a long moment. “I suppose I did know this, but how much credence can one give such tales when the men in question are one’s own father and grandfather?”
This frank speech elicited another peal of laughter from her companions.
“I assume this rake of yours is Lord Jasper Hartcliffe?” asked Mouette.
Emeline gasped. “How did you know?”
“It is not hard to guess. He is the most wicked libertine to appear in London in a long time, and he has hired you to help with his archaeological research. I must confess, I felt a feminine twinge myself when I met him.” She wore a playful smile. “How does he feel about this romance?”
“Oh, Hart doesn’t realize it is a romance at all! It is quite unbearable, Mama. You will both be shocked to hear this, but one moment he is kissing me quite…um, ardently, and the next he tells me he wants nothing more to do with me.”
“Yes, we could have predicted that,” Devon murmured, her blue eyes twinkling.
“Let us not forget that this man has a long list of conquests to his name,” Mouette said dryly. “Why do you think you are different, my darling? Are there other signs that love is brewing between you?”
Emeline glanced down at her lap as the landau rolled past other riders and carriages on Rotten Row.
“When we are together, I feel so much more alive than ever before. Even the colors are more intense. And, this might sound mad, but I feel understood in a way I’ve never known before.
For the first time in my life, I don’t have to explain myself or what I am thinking.
Hart just knows.” She drew a ragged sigh and rushed on, “And even when he is pushing himself away from me, saying we can never be together in that way again, I can see in his eyes that he…cares very much.”
“That means more than you know.” Her mother was nodding more seriously now. “And I must ask…what do you mean by ‘together in that way’?”
Emeline’s face grew hot. “We have not…lain together, if that is what worries you.”
To her surprise, Grandmama said, “We would not condemn you for it, I assure you. How can one resist with such a man? But there can be…”
“Consequences,” finished Mouette as she reached for Emeline’s hand. “Do have a care, my bold daughter.”
“And have the courage to follow your heart.” Grandmama took her other hand. “It sounds as if your rake is falling in love as well…but the question is, how far will he allow it to go?”
“Thank you both for your wise counsel.” Emeline sat up straighter, dry eyed and determined. “I do have the courage! I shall speak honestly to Hart…and contend with the outcome.”