Chapter 19
I was half regretting agreeing, but James looked so excited, I couldn’t bear to backtrack. “Move over, James Carver,” I said, my voice a bit breathless. “I’m about to be Mia’s favorite again. The cool aunt who also sleeps under the stars.”
“I’m ready to cede my place to you.” He clapped his hands together. “Okay. I’ve gotta take this garbage and the cooler back to the house, then bring back the pads and sleeping bags.” He paused, his gaze fixing on me. “Unless…”
“Unless what?”
He took a second before responding. “Did you want to sleep out here alone?”
My eyes widened. “And risk being eaten by tigers? Are you crazy?” It was my turn to pause. “Unless you don’t want to—”
“I do.”
We stared at each other, then I let out an awkward laugh.
His response had come so quickly, for a second, I’d thought it was because he wanted to be with me. But James loved sleeping out of doors. It was his thing. His happy place.
And, despite the confidence he’d expressed in me, he probably worried I’d end up dead if he left me to my own devices.
James carried the cooler while I carried the garbage bag and flashlight.
I took the opportunity to ask him more about his job and learned that he’d landed it when he’d been backpacking through British Columbia six months after he left Autumn Ridge.
A forest ranger had started chatting with him and been impressed with his knowledge about maples.
After six months on the road, James had been ready for a longer stint somewhere and some steady income, so he’d helped with tree planting, then made his way to his current position: Forestry Consultant/Reforestation Specialist.
He had a slashy job title, which meant he was too smart and valuable for a short, pithy one like assistant baker.
A few pinpricks of light alerted us we were almost to the Carver house. When we reached it, I put the garbage bag in the big bin near the porch.
“I’ll just go set this in the kitchen,” James said, indicating the cooler. “Do you want to come in?”
“Um…sure. I should probably use the bathroom.” I followed him into the house, where the sound of running water and the light clattering of silverware indicated May was in the kitchen.
I used the bathroom and put my hair on top of my head for sleep. I didn’t have pajamas or a toothbrush, to say nothing of facewash. I stared at myself in the mirror, hardly recognizing this spontaneous version of myself.
I kind of liked her.
I’d have liked her better with minty fresh breath.
There was a light knock on the door.
I opened it to James in the dark hallway.
“Thought you might want a couple of things.” He handed me a toothbrush still in plastic wrap and some toothpaste like he’d just been in my thoughts.
He was certainly there more often than he should be.
“I thought you could wear some of Mama’s pajamas, but she only wears nightgowns.
These are mine.” He handed me a small pile of folded clothes.
“They’ll be big, but you can cinch the waist pretty tight. ”
I hesitated for a fraction of a second.
“Or you can sleep in what you’re wearing if you’d rather,” he said.
I took the pajamas from him. “These are perfect. I didn’t mean to make all this trouble, though.”
He gave me a funny look. “It’s just a toothbrush and clothes. I’ll let you get changed.” He closed the door softly.
I set the clothes on the counter and stared at them for a second.
Teenage Sadie was fainting.
Who was I kidding? She’d passed out weeks ago.
Adult Sadie didn’t faint or squeal or fan herself. She might’ve taken an extra deep breath as she put on the large sweater, and her eyes might’ve fluttered for a millisecond as the concentrated scent of James’s cologne went through her system, but a girl had to breathe.
I brushed my teeth extra hard, like I was scrubbing away more than plaque.
I wasn’t sure what to do with my own clothes, so I folded them and brought them with me.
James was in the kitchen with May. He wore a long-sleeved, waffle-knit shirt and sweats like mine. Well, like the ones he’d let me borrow.
His arm was around his mom’s shoulders, and they were both laughing, though she gave him a playful slap on the cheek.
“That’s enough out of you, young man,” she said, then rested her head against his chest in total contradiction to her tone.
His hold on her tightened, and he pressed a kiss to her hair.
I almost drew back out of sight, feeling like I was intruding on a private, familial moment—one that reaffirmed what I’d already known: May and James needed each other.
Before I could move, May spotted me.
“Sadie.” She left James’s hold and put out her arms for a hug.
“How’s your knee doing, Mrs. Carver?” I asked as her arms wrapped around me.
“Oh, it’s fine, darlin’. James likes to make a fuss over nothin’.”
My eyes met his, and he gave a soft, smiling scoff before she stepped back and looked over the two of us.
“Have you got everythin’ you need? The pads and bags are in the shed. We don’t have the selection we used to—some of them were ruined from a leak a few years back, but you’ll have what you need.” She pointed a finger at her son. “You make sure she stays warm, James Carver.”
“I will, Mama.”
“I know.” She smiled and tapped her cheek.
James pressed a kiss to it. “See you in the morning.”
I waved at May, then followed James to the shed on the side of the house. It had seen better years, but the slant to it lent it character.
I put out my arms. “Load me up.”
The rolled sleeping pads he pulled out were light—definitely lighter than the sleeping bags and blankets he carried under each arm.
“You remember the way?” he asked after closing the door behind us.
“Um…”
“I’m just kidding. It’s this path.” He shined the flashlight on the trail to the left.
The air nipped at the exposed skin of my neck as we headed under the canopy of maples, and the reality of what lay ahead settled over me in the form of goosebumps. I’d ridden through these woods scores of times during the day. Who knew what terrors they held at night?
Mia’s talk of bears and moose and tigers seemed less silly when I stared into a never-ending abyss of darkness on either side of us. Who was to say there weren’t tigers here?
“I never thought I was afraid of the dark until this second,” I said.
James glanced at me, amusement on his face. “It’s a different level of dark, isn’t it?”
“How does it not creep you out?”
“It did at first.”
I looked up at him. “And now?”
“I sleep best outdoors.”
I stared into the trees and tried to imagine how I’d get any sleep, much less the best sleep of my life, with my brain filling in the darkness with things from the deepest, most morbid recesses of my imagination.
“Hey,” James said, stopping and looking at me intently. “I’ll keep you safe, okay? I swear.”
My stomach swooped, and I nodded.
I believed him. Not just believed him, though. If there was anyone I wanted to keep me safe, it was him.
We kept walking, and I felt less apprehensive.
The pit took me by surprise. Without any remaining embers, it blended in with the surroundings, but James had known exactly where it was. I secretly marveled at his knowledge of the woods in the overwhelming dark.
We set up camp, but I made sure to lay out my pad before James so that he’d be the one to decide how close we would be.
He put his pad a few feet from mine—a respectable distance that somehow disappointed me. For safety reasons.
I reached for a sleeping bag.
“Are you tired?” James asked. “Or do you want to build a fire with me?”
“Fire,” I said, abandoning the sleeping bag immediately. Yawns and sleep were distant dreams, and I was eager to add another thing to my resume for Mia.
Using the pile of wood and the axe he’d brought earlier, James showed me how to chop off smaller pieces for easier kindling, how to arrange them in the pit, and how to use the flint and steel to get the fire going.
He didn’t do anything for me—just guided me through it with his words and, every now and then, his hands.
His words were less distracting, but I wanted his hands anyway.
The sense of accomplishment I had when we stepped back and admired the fire I’d created was a headrush. I could see why James loved this sort of thing.
With the fire going strong and a pile of wood to add nearby, we grabbed the sleeping bags. I uncinched the top of mine and pulled it out of its sack.
“Ooh,” I said. “Batman.”
James turned.
“Very cool,” I said. “No wild animals will dare mess with me in this.” I held it up to my shoulders. It didn’t quite reach the ground.
He swore under his breath. “That…wasn’t the one I meant to bring.”
“It’s cool, James. I’m sure lots of grown men own Batman camping gear.”
He snatched it from my hands, a smile glimmering on his lips. “I got that for my seventh birthday, thank you very much.”
“Uh-huh.”
He laughed and tossed me the other sleeping bag. “Take that one.”
“Is this one Wonder Woman?” I pulled it out of the bag. It was completely plain—a shiny black mummy bag. “Very boring.”
“Boring and warm.”
“What if I want the Batman one?”
James handed me one of the folded blankets for a pillow. “Mama would have my head.”
I was sure he was right, but I knew James Carver pretty well by now, and he wouldn’t have let me switch him sleeping bags even if he was positive May would never find out.
I shook out my bag and climbed into it, pulling the top up to my chin. It smelled like campfire with a hint of James’s cologne. He must’ve used it recently. My feet found the bottom, which was warm from the fire a couple feet away. I smiled at the coziness of it all.
The smile grew when I looked over at James. A sturdy, 6’2” man shimmying into a Batman bag was a sight I’d never known I’d needed.
A little snort escaped me, and James’s gaze flicked to mine.
“Are you laughing at me?”
I rolled my lips between my teeth and shook my head.
He gripped the top of his bag with both hands and looked down at the Batman symbol. “The gift that keeps on giving.”
My laugh faded as I realized that the top of the bag barely came up to his chest.