Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
SHARED CONVERSATION
Elizabeth marvelled—there was no other word for it—that Darcy had come to her, that he felt what she felt, that he expressed his love so freely.
“I am in a state of disbelief, I think,” he said. “I cannot believe you have forgiven my…my neglect, the distance I have put between us. If I had only followed my heart, we would already be married.”
She reached up to stroke his cheek. “Had you proposed so quickly, I would have been in a quandary. Neddy’s needs have come first with me for so very long, and I did not know you.
” She told him about hiding in the shrubberies that evening after the assembly while he searched for her.
“I would not ever deny noticing your attractions immediately. However, in the time since, I have seen how wonderfully you have treated Neddy—developing plans for his improvement and nurture, even when you were decided against me. Further, I have seen how well you care for your sister, how patient and loving and protective you are. It did not make it easy, sir, to force my heart away from yearning for you.” It was easy to speak honestly to him, as if they had known and loved each other for years, instead of mere weeks.
Especially since he rewarded her honesty with an affection at which he was exceptionally proficient.
They were seated together before her hearth, his arms around her, sharing those kisses and conversation in equal measure when she realised with a start that it had been at least an hour since Georgiana had left with Neddy; they would doubtless be back at any time.
“I believe Georgiana will be returning with my brother soon,” she said, smiling up at him. “I do not think I would wish to be caught misbehaving before my soon-to-be-sister.”
“It is at times such as this that my reputation as a bastion of correct behaviour will prove useful,” he said, grinning back. “No one of any experience could see your face and not know you wear the look of a well-loved woman.”
She could not find it in her heart to be mortified, not even when she caught sight of herself in the reflection of her looking glass as she went to fetch her cape, her lips bee-stung and eyes dreamy, her hair wild. Together, they walked outside to await Georgiana’s arrival.
“How do you think she will feel about gaining a sister…and a little brother, who is occasionally, ahem, disruptive?”
“She already loves you like a sister—I was foolish not to see immediately how good you are for her. Her affection for Edward is a fierce one.” He hesitated.
“Actually, I believe she feels a connexion to him in a special way. She has had difficulties of which I was ignorant; in childhood, her nurses were cruel in the kindest way imaginable—believing she was stupid and nearly convincing her of it as well. Assisting Edward has helped her confidence in ways I do not quite understand.”
Elizabeth frowned. “I cannot imagine anyone believing her stupid. She is one of the cleverest girls I have ever met! She thinks in ways that are uncommon to most, and can see solutions that I never would have. I think it is part of her creative talents.”
He kissed her then, fully, as if he could not help himself.
She certainly did not mind! But it was more than his affection that was tantalising; he was also deeply interested in every aspect of her thoughts, her past, her feelings.
They talked as if they could not talk enough, could not learn enough of each other.
It was not until they had been outside for what could have been another hour, and her feet were beginning to feel like two blocks of ice, that she began to be uneasy.
“I think they ought to have returned by now,” she said. “They have never ridden for so long before.”
He pulled out his watch, looked at the time—and appeared surprised. “I did not realise so much of the day had passed. On our last ride, I believe Edward began to be restless after an hour or so. I have been here at least two hours; how long before I arrived did Georgiana leave?”
“At least half an hour,” she replied, genuinely worried now.
“Do you know where she planned to ride?”
“Up Oakham Mount.”
“I will go there, at once; I will find them.” He gave her one last swift kiss, and strode quickly to where Gallant was tethered out of sight of the house.
She watched a few minutes longer, before returning inside, wondering how worried she ought to be.
Surely Georgiana was already heading back to Fox Hollow?
Frightening possibilities filled her mind.
Had Neddy grown restless? Had she set him down, thinking that he would stay beside her, only for him to run away?
Heavens, he was faster than one might expect any three-year-old to be.
The number of cautions and warnings she ought to have given began filling Elizabeth’s mind.
She had been standing by the hearth, worrying for a few minutes, when Mrs Finch poked her head out.
“Is it safe to come out?” she asked, with a little smile.
“Mrs Finch, this is your home. You need not hide.”
“I was young, once upon a time. You are a sensible girl, who would not ruin your life over a man. And if you decided to regardless, who am I to interfere?”
Elizabeth shook her head at this bold opinion, but refrained from commenting on it. “As it so happens, I am not the only sensible one—Mr Darcy has decided, very sensibly, to marry me. You are the first to hear of it.”
To her credit, the elderly woman expressed her happiness for Elizabeth, despite its possible meaning for her, personally.
“I know you must have concerns about your own future,” Elizabeth added.
“I shall ask Mr Darcy to arrange for you to remain in Fox Hollow, as its caretaker, for as long as you wish. If you can find a respectable person to share it with you, for your own safety, that would be ideal, I think. We shall see that food and coal are delivered from the main house regularly.”
“Oh!” Mrs Finch’s astonishment was clearly vast. “But you must not wish to…that is, I can hardly believe Mr Philips would continue to allow…”
“Longbourn belongs to my brother,” Elizabeth declared with emphasis. “Neddy would like it to support a woman who has remained beside me all these months and who gossips not at all. Mr Darcy will see that Neddy’s wishes are realised.”
Tremulously, the older woman thanked her. They both startled at a rap on the door.
“My, but we are popular today,” Mrs Finch said before disappearing once again into her room.
Elizabeth opened the door to see Jane upon her step. She did not look quite her usual self; her eyes were red-rimmed, as if she had been crying. Despite this, she wore a smile and a determinedly sunny air.
“Lizzy,” she said. “I wonder…do you think there is room for two Bennet sisters at Fox Hollow?”