Chapter Four
Adam
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“I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS, Mr. Harper.” The doctor glanced up from the paperwork in her hand.
“Yes, please.” After hours sitting in the hospital bed, I was ready for some.
“Do you mind that Officer Kaspar is present for this?” She motioned to the police officer who’d entered the room. “I can ask her to leave if you prefer.”
Shifting my weight, I straightened against the pillows. It had become a little easier to prop myself up since I’d been for the MRI and finally eaten something. I’d assumed my growing strength was a positive sign.
“It’s fine,” I confirmed. “Go ahead, please, Doctor.”
“Okay.” The doctor cleared her throat. “The results of the MRI indicate the lesions in your brain are likely to have been caused by some kind of trauma, but nothing about them suggests they are recent additions.”
“So, the lesions are old?” I sighed, trying to remember something that might have happened to me as a child that would explain them.
“Historic, yes.” She smiled, a gesture that failed to reach her eyes. “Not something derived from any recent event that Officer Kaspar has mentioned.”
The doctor signaled to the third woman in the room, and I glanced at the wordless Officer Kaspar. Standing by the end of my bed, she’d been introduced by the medics, but was yet to actually speak.
“Right.” I sighed.
The doctor had mentioned that I’d suffered a recent head injury, but that part of the tale still made little sense to me. If I’d endured a traumatic head wound in the last few weeks, then I certainly couldn’t remember it.
What I had started to recall more of, though, was the striking brunette who’d been present at my arrest. I still didn’t have a name for her, but I sensed from what she’d told me before the police had carted me away, and the longing that tugged at my heartstrings whenever I thought of her, that we’d been romantically involved.
That was curious in its own right. The man I’d remembered being didn’t have long-term partners. Even before the Edict, he’d liked to keep his options open, and since Ian’s party had rolled into power and changed all of the rules, that idea had never been more relevant.
Why get involved with a woman in the new order? I’d never wanted to marry, and I sure as hell didn’t want any children. I’d thrown the question around in my head while I waited for the doctor’s conclusions, but so far, there had been no light bulb moment.
“Do you think these lesions are causing my amnesia?”
Ignoring the officer, I focused on the doctor. Until Kasper had something to say, my health seemed the greater concern.
“It’s possible.” The doctor pressed her thin lips into a hard line.
“But not likely. I am no neurologist, Mr. Harper, and neither am I a psychologist, but I wonder if the gaps in your memory are your brain’s way of making sense of what has happened to you.
” Once again, her attention flitted to the police officer.
“You think I’m putting it on?” I scowled. “Because I can assure you, there are some things I genuinely can’t recall.”
“No, no.” Her hand rose to dismiss my allegation. “Not that you are lying about the symptoms. More that the amnesia is a coping mechanism, that is all. The memories are there, but you are refusing to accept them on a subliminal level.”
“But why?” It was Kaspar who spoke that time. “The commander general didn’t seem coy about his contacts or accomplishments before he was rushed here.”
“My question exactly.” My eyes met the officer’s gaze for the first time, and as though a channel had been changed in my mind, I realized that she was the officer who’d read me my rights in that tiny hallway I recalled.
“The brain is a complex organ.” The doctor shrugged as though her ambiguity was helpful. “I can ask the on-call neurologist for a second opinion if you prefer.”
“I just want my memories to return.” Exasperation oozed from my tone.
“We know how frustrating it must be to not remember.” The nurse’s smile was kind.
“Indeed.” Kaspar folded her arms across her chest. She hadn’t said so, but I was getting the distinct impression that she was skeptical about my memory loss.
“What about the lesions, then?” My attention slid back to the doctor. “If they haven’t caused all this, are they anything to worry about?”
“We will wait for the neurologist’s view on this,” the doctor started.
“But I see no causal link between them and the hypertension which brought you here. Since you do not conform to lifestyle factors such as obesity, it is more likely that the latter was induced by variables such as stress and dehydration. Do you drink alcohol?”
“Erm, yes.” A myriad of memories involving an evening tipple sprang to my mind, as did the decanter I used to pour the drink from. I paused at that, sure the object was relevant somehow.
“What is it?” The nurse’s prompt was soft, yet insistent. “Do you remember something?”
“I remember my old decanter.” It sounded ridiculous to admit that was what had come to mind. “I used to have a drink from it every evening.”
Often, more than one, but I didn’t mention that fact.
“Decanter?” Kaspar stepped forward.
“Yes.” I was surprised at how interested she was in the admission.
“That is what Miss Craness mentioned.” Kaspar’s gaze traveled from the doctor to me. “She was the one who told us about your head injury.”
“Miss Craness?” My brow furrowed.
“You remember her, I assume?” Kaspar laughed, the sound shrill and hollow.
“No...” I stared at the three women encircling my bed. Coming from such a heavily patriarchal society, so much female attention was taking some getting used to. “Should I?”
Kaspar’s brow rose. “I should say so, Mr. Harper. You told me only yesterday how much you love her, and my colleague assures me she has been hysterical since your collapse and is desperate to see you.”
“I love her?” I parroted the words uncertainly, but instantly, the image of the brunette I recalled flooded my mind. “I remember a woman who was with me when you arrested me... Is that Craness?”
“That’s her.” The smile that lit Kaspar’s face seemed sincere. “She’s waiting outside to see you, actually, but I wanted to speak to you first.”
My gaze shot to the door on instinct. “She’s here?”
My pulse sped up as I considered what that meant. I only remembered the woman in hazy fragments, yet for some inexplicable reason, the idea of her seeing me looking so weak was deeply perturbing.
“If she loves you, then it only makes sense.” It was the nurse, Elsa, who offered the explanation. “She’ll want to know that you are okay.”
“The last time she saw you, your heart had stopped beating and you were being hurried here.” Kaspar shook her head.
“It seems I still have a lot to remember.” Resting my head in my hand, my eyes fell temporarily closed. I hadn’t appreciated how close I’d come to death. Nobody had mentioned I’d needed CPR to bring me back.
“Yet it is good that some of it is returning, no?” Kaspar’s terser tone interrupted my monologue, but I couldn’t tell if she was speaking to me or the doctor.
“Ja, es ist vielversprechend.” The doctor nodded to confirm the recall was a promising sign. “Perhaps spending some time with Miss Craness will help inspire more recollection, Mr. Harper.”
“Perhaps,” Kaspar concurred. “How do you feel about that, Mr. Harper?”
“I would like to see her.” The words fell from me unthinkingly. “Whoever she is, she feels important.”
And if I’d told them that I loved her, then I could only assume she was significant, although I still couldn’t reconcile the cocksure version of me I remembered with the Adam Harper that Kaspar had met. The two men sounded miles apart.
“Then with your permission, Doctor, I shall bring Miss Craness in,” Kaspar replied. “I will need to be present, though, Mr. Harper. You are both still in the Swiss state’s custody for the time being.”
My brows knitted. “Has she been arrested, too?”
“No.” Kaspar hesitated, apparently searching for the right words. “Miss Craness has been offered refugee status here, but she’s in our care until these matters are resolved.”
“I don’t mind if you stay.” I shrugged. “I have nothing to hide.”
“Should I be here, too?” Elsa sounded concerned. “We don’t want Mr. Harper’s blood pressure elevated again.”
“A short visit should be fine.” The doctor’s tone was dismissive. “Officer Kaspar can alert us if you’re required, Elsa.”
“Okay.”
Elsa nodded, but her body straightened, and I didn’t need to be a body language expert to see how unhappy she was with the verdict.
It seemed the petite nurse had got used to having me to herself and wasn’t thrilled with the idea of Miss Craness’ presence.
I might have smirked at the outcome had recent events not been so bewildering.
“I shall consult with our neurologist and ask him to see you later today,” the doctor went on. “Until then, my prescription for you, Mr. Harper, is rest, rehydration, and a concerted effort to recall as much as you can.”
“Danke, Doctor.” I forced a smile at her. Her bedside manner would have made Armitage blush, but I knew, ultimately, she was just doing her job. A man in my position knew how that went. “I appreciate you giving me the results so promptly.”
“You are welcome. It is not every day we have an international celebrity on our wards, Commander General.”
I turned to meet her wry tone. That had been the first time any of the medics had referred to me by my title.
“Oh, yes,” she continued, evidently reading my surprised expression. “We know who you are, Mr. Harper. But it is our job to provide you with the same high-quality care that any other patient would receive.”
“You don’t approve of Britain’s recent progress, then?” I met the doctor’s skeptical eyes. “Your tone says not.”
“It is not my place to judge.” The doctor gestured to her colleague. “Come now, Elsa. Let us give Mr. Harper some space.”