Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
“ H ow did you get in here? And are you suicidal? Seriously, Connor, they’re going to kill you if they find you.” Aurora walks over to the door, checking the lock that’s already in place.
“Mabilia helped me,” I tell her. “Come here.” I hold out a hand and wait for her to walk towards me. “I had to check that you were okay.”
“You couldn’t have called?” she asks as she straddles my lap.
“I could, but it’s not the same.” My arms wrap around her waist, holding her body as close to mine as I can. “Are you okay?”
“Everyone keeps asking me that,” she replies, burying her face into the crook of my neck.
“Well, I’m not everyone and I actually want to know,” I tell her. “Are you?”
Aurora sits back. Her eyes connect with mine. “I’m… I think I’m broken.”
My brows furrow. “What do you mean broken ?”
“I mean, I’m okay. I shouldn’t be. I just killed someone, and I…” Her mouth clamps shut, cutting off her words.
“You what?” I pry.
“I liked it,” she whispers.
“You liked it?”
“I liked that I killed him, Connor. I know it’s not right. I should feel remorse or something. But I just don’t.” Aurora stands and starts pacing the room. “My family has always thought I was crazy— insane —and I’m starting to think they’re right.”
I push to my feet and walk over to her, stopping her movements. I take her hands in mine and squeeze. “You are not crazy, Aurora. You are not insane either. You’re just… you and there is absolutely fucking nothing wrong with you.”
She smiles a little. “You’re just saying that because you want to get into my panties.”
“I’m saying it because it’s the fucking truth.
There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t like.
And who cares if you enjoyed killing the asshole who shot your cousin?
You were protecting yourself, Aurora. There is nothing wrong with that,” I tell her.
“And I’m fucking glad you did.” I lean in and press my lips against her forehead.
“I was scared. When I heard what happened, I thought… Well, I don’t want to lose you.
Also, it’s the first time you’ve killed someone. You could very well be in shock.”
Aurora drops my hands and looks away. “It’s not the first time.”
“It’s not? Okay, killing someone to protect yourself or your family still doesn’t make you a fucking serial killer. There is nothing wrong with you,” I assure her. “And I will keep saying it until you believe it because I can tell you don’t.”
“You don’t get it, Connor. I liked it,” she huffs.
“I heard you.”
“I liked seeing his blood spill onto my hands. I liked the fear I saw in his eyes and I liked when I felt his body go limp,” she explains. “I liked it all. I wanted to do it again.”
“Okay. You wanna go out now? I’m sure we can find some scumbags who deserve to die,” I offer her.
Aurora shakes her head. “Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop pretending that it’s normal. It’s not,” she says.
“You’re right. It’s not normal. But it’s you. And I love you regardless of if you want to become New York’s next serial killer. I’ll even help you, if it makes you happy. But I love you no matter what.” My heart races. I haven’t said those words out loud before.
Neither of us moves. A tear falls down Aurora’s face. “You love me?” she whispers.
“I love you,” I repeat.
“Even though I’m crazy?”
“You are not crazy. But I’d love you even if you were,” I tell her.
“I love you too,” she says, and her voice shakes with emotion.
I take two steps, closing the space between us. “Good, because I wasn’t really going to give you any other choice.” My arms wrap around her waist, pulling her against me.
“What are we going to do?”
“About what?”
“Us?”
“We’re going to sleep on it,” I tell her.
“No, you can’t sleep here.” She shakes her head. “We need to figure out how to sneak you out without anyone seeing you. Or shooting you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I tell her. “Come on, lie down with me for a little bit.” I take her hand as I lead her over to her bed.
I’ve seen it in many video calls I’ve had with her, but never in my life did I think I’d be in her bedroom.
I guess I am as insane as she thinks she is, because it really was suicidal to sneak up here. Also worth it.
Aurora lies down with me but her gaze keeps going to the door.
“It’s going to be fine,” I say.
“You don’t know that,” she replies.
“I promise I will not let myself get caught in here. Now, tell me about how we’re going to become the Bonnie and Clyde of serial killers together.”
Aurora’s hand comes up to slap at my chest. “Shut up. We are not. I’m not saying I want to go around killing people. I just don’t hate doing it.” She sighs. “Can I tell you something?”
“Anything.”
“I never felt before you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I never felt attracted to anyone. I never felt this overwhelming need for anyone before I saw you,” she says. “And now you’re all I can think about and it’s suffocating. I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not near me.”
“Well, if you ever need to breathe, come and find me. I’ll always be around for you,” I say.
“No matter what happens, I will always be your oxygen.” And I mean that.
I know the chances of us living a happily ever after are slim to none, but I will never turn my back on this girl.
If she needs help, I’m going to help her.
“Promise?” She holds up her pinkie.
I mirror the gesture before I bring our joint fingers to my lips and kiss them. “Promise.”
Aurora fell asleep within fifteen minutes. I stayed in her bed, holding her for an hour. Just staring at her. She really is a true sleeping beauty, so fucking breathtaking. I was supposed to be distancing myself from her. Tonight, I did the opposite. I feel like I went all in. We both did.
It’s just going to hurt more when it all blows up in our faces. The thought of her hurting doesn’t sit well with me, and I just can’t figure out a way to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Kenny’s car stops in front of me. I called him to come and get me once I was clear of Aurora’s house. It wasn’t easy getting out unseen. Let’s just say I hope the blocker I put on the property’s CCTV worked. If not, I have no doubt her father will see I was there.
Again, if I get killed because I wanted to give my girlfriend a bit of comfort when she needed it, then so be it. I don’t regret it.
“Nice neighborhood,” Kenny says, giving me the side-eye as I climb into his passenger seat.
“It’s not bad.” I shrug.
“You know who lives just ?round the corner? Aurora Valentino, that little asylum escapee you’re not supposed to be dating.” He laughs.
“Don’t call her that,” I growl. “There is nothing wrong with her.” I know she plays into the whole insane vibe, but after tonight, I also know it fucking bothers her that people believe it.
“Jeez, relax. I was joking,” Kenny says. “Mostly. But seriously, you can’t tell me she’s not a little unhinged.”
“She’s not unhinged,” I reply. “She’s just… misunderstood.”
“Fuck, you’ve got it bad.” Kenny shakes his head. “Where am I taking you?”
I think about it for a minute. I don’t want to go home and deal with my parents right now. “Cabin.”
“Party?”
“On a Sunday?” I raise a brow at him.
“Why not?” Kenny picks up his phone and dials a number. I tune him out as he starts ordering his friends around.
You know those moments where you have hindsight? I’m having one of those right now as I watch drunken teenagers fall over each other, grind together half naked, or puke their guts up because they can’t handle their alcohol. I should have told Kenny no to his party idea.
At the time, I thought it’d be a good distraction, something to take my mind off the girl I left sleeping in her bed. The one I just gave my heart to on a silver fucking platter. She’s probably going to be the one to crush it too, and knowing Aurora, she’ll do it with her bare hands.
“Hey, I haven’t seen you around much.” Melissa, the same girl Aurora put in the hospital for talking to me, drops down beside me on the sofa.
“And you’re not seeing me now, for your own good. Go away,” I tell her.
“Are you with Aurora? Because that’s fucked up. You know she’s a psychopath, right?” Melissa says.
“Who?” It takes everything in me not to retaliate. I get it. My girl can be spontaneous, but she’s not a fucking psychopath. She does have feelings. For me, at least.
“Aurora Valentino. If you’re not dating her, then you should let her know that.” Melissa laughs.
I stand and shake my head. “For someone who got the shit kicked out of them, you sure are brave, opening your mouth about her.”
“She’s not here.” Melissa shrugs.
“If you think that’ll stop her from finding out, then you’re the one who needs your head checked.
” Putting my empty beer bottle down on the table, I walk away before I say anything else.
I head upstairs and lock myself away in the bedroom.
I pull out my phone and smile when I see a message from Aurora.
SB:
Are you still alive?
Me:
I am. You disappointed?
SB:
Relieved.
SB:
Thank you for coming over. But don’t do it again.
Me:
What if I told you I have fantasies of fucking you in your bed?
SB:
Screw it. You only live once. Risk your life for me, Charming.
I laugh out loud and plop down on the bed.
Me:
See you in the morning. Breakfast in the library?
SB:
I’ll be there.
I set my phone on the wireless charger that’s sitting on the bedside table before rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling.
My mind goes over all the different ways of making sure Aurora can stay mine.
Of making sure my family doesn’t use her against me, because that’s exactly what they’ll do if they find out I love her.
They’ll see me as a traitor, and to teach me a lesson, they’ll kill her and make me watch. Or it’ll be worse than that. They’ll torture her instead. They could make her disappear, ensure I’d never find her again. Or that if I did, she wouldn’t be the same girl.
Aurora is strong. She’s a fighter, and as much as I want to think she can handle anything that comes at her, she’s still just a teenage girl.
And everyone has a breaking point. Even her.
The only way I can think of to keep her is to marry her.
And for that, we’ll have to wait until we’re both eighteen, which is only a few months away.
Then I’ll need to convince her to go against her promise to her mother and marry me without anyone knowing…
I shake my head. I can’t do that to her. I can’t make her go against her family.
Maybe we just need to accept that this is temporary. It’ll last a lifetime, the love I have for this girl. But actually having her? It’s not going to be forever.