Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
BONTE
Binx sits curled up in my lap, purring away. I don’t know if he senses I’m upset, but he’s been all over me since we got back. I was cuddled between him and Eros when I’d fallen asleep. When I woke up, I knew Eros went to speak to his dad and brothers.
It's eating at me that because of me, Eros could have been killed today. I can't keep running from this and hiding. This is a chapter in my life I want to close. I don’t want anyone I love to get hurt. Enough people have died because of me. While I know their demise wasn’t my fault, I still can’t help but feel guilty.
Thinking about everything that has happened has me feeling disappointed and sad about the actions my dad has taken in his life that have so greatly affected mine.
A lot of them are centered around me. Now Eros and his family have been pulled into it.
When I think about harm coming to any of them, my blood boils. Now I'm pissed.
I open up my laptop, pulling up the message I got earlier from my dad. The word "sweetheart" is still there on the screen.
Me: Dad?
I stare at the screen waiting. I'm not sure why, but I expect to get a response instantly, but nothing pops up.
Me: What? Busy killing people? Can't respond to your daughter?!
Yeah, I'm letting my anger get the best of me. I suck in a breath when a message pops up.
Dad: I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm here.
No, he's not here. He hasn't been for years, but I'm not going there right now, if ever. That would be a giant conversation. One I wish I could have gotten years ago.
Me: I want this to stop.
Dad: Then we need to talk.
Me: What is this?
I chew on my bottom lip, feeling guilty. I haven’t spoken to my father in years, and here he is. I can say anything, and I’m being short with him. I have to remind myself this is his doing, and he’s hurt Eros. His cheek is still healing.
Dad: In person. Anyone could be reading this.
I do want to see him. I’m not sure how Eros would feel about that.
Me: Okay, but I’m bringing Eros.
Dad: No
His response is fast this time.
Me: Yes, I am.
I push right back.
Dad: I have to know this is all your own free will. Once I see and speak to you in person, alone, and you tell me you want to be where you are, I’ll back away. Until then, I will take out the Marinos one at a time.
A gasp rips from me. Tears sting at my eyes. I take another deep breath, not wanting to cry again. Once the floodgates open, they take forever to stop.
Me: I’d never forgive you.
Dad: I’d never forgive myself either if something happened to you.
This isn't a round I'm going to win with him.
Dad: I miss you.
A stupid tear escapes, and I swipe it away. I miss him too. I shouldn't, but I do nonetheless, even if I don't want to.
Me: Okay, I'll meet you. When and where?
Dad: I'll let you know.
I should leave it at that, but I can't help myself.
Me: I miss you, too.
The bedroom door opens, and I quickly close my laptop, Eros entering the room.
"I was hoping I'd get back before you woke up."
"It's okay. I know you have things to handle." I drop my head back when he makes it to me. Eros presses his mouth to mine, his fingers slipping into my hair.
“The only thing I want to handle is you.” I reach up and brush my fingers across his face, right below the cut on his cheek. Eros's face softens in a way I know only I get from him.
“I want to know how you’re handling things.”
“I’m good.” He picks up my laptop, setting it on the nightstand before sitting down on the bed next to me, pulling me into his lap to straddle him.
“Are you really? You always want to know how I feel. I want to be able to do the same.”
"If I tell you how I feel, then you've got to tell me the same in return about everything that's gone down."
“It’s all been a lot to process. Today sent me a bit over the edge,” I tell him.
“I’m sure. Your father showed up, and now we don’t know if the people who are supposed to be protecting you are dirty.”
“There is that, but that’s not what’s been overwhelming.”
“Then, what?”
“I once saw my father murder a boy who picked on me. Then I found out he was a serial killer, and my whole world flipped upside down. I told myself that I wouldn’t go through that again. You can’t lose people if you don’t have people.”
“You shouldn’t have to live that way. Sounds lonely.”
“It was. I didn’t want to go through it again, but I never thought it could be worse. You know? I just didn’t want to do it over again. But today—” Tears burn at my eyes, but I try to push them back, swallowing. “Today, I realized how wrong I was. It can get worse.”
“Everything will be okay.” I know he wants to reassure me and make me feel better, but in this, he can’t. You can’t control emotions, including your own. If only it were so easy.
"It's not okay. You could have died too."
"Bont—"
"I can't lose you. Do you hear me? You and your stupid, barbaric, sociopathic Neanderthal ways went and made me fall in love with you.
" His eyes widen a fraction. "And it's not even like this normal love you have for your family or cat.
" I glance at Binx. "No offense," I tell him.
"It's this overwhelming, inexplicable love for my kidnapper.
It's bullshit." I huff. “And I’m mad at you about it. This is one thousand percent your fault that I’m in this situation.”
“You’re mad at me about it?” He cocks his head to the side, the corners of his mouth starting to turn up.
“You better not give me a rare smile.” I smack his shoulder. “That will make it worse.”
“Sorry, Hellcat.” He smiles, a full-on smile, and there is a freaking dimple! “I can’t help myself, but in my defense, I’m a barbaric, sociopathic Neanderthal.” One that I’ve fallen madly in love and want a future with.
“Whatever.” I poke the dimple. “When did you go and get a dimple?”
“Got it just for you.”
“You’re a jerk.” I wrap myself around him, burying my face in his neck, clinging to him. His hand moves up and down my back gently.
“You know I love you, too.”
“Obviously,” I mumble against his neck, warmth blooming inside my chest at hearing him say those words. It's been a long time since they've been spoken to me. “Because you’re a sociopath with a death wish.” I'm going to get him killed.
“There are things far worse than death.” I lift my head to meet his gaze.
“I would have thought waking up in a hole with a man known for his torture skills would have been one of them.”
"The only person without the last name Marino that went into that hole and came back out."
"Your mom must have been really sure about us since she was the one who had me sent down there." I can't even be mad at her about it. Not with how things played out.
"Maybe you should stick to pretending to be mad about it, or she'll never let us live it down." She might start to regret putting me in her son's sights soon.
"Nah, the razzing around here is pretty epic.
" It's crazy how much I even like his family now too.
I could sit in the kitchen and watch them like a reality show.
It's not just their independent family, either.
It's all the cousins and aunts and uncles coming and going.
There's always a flow of people in and out.
If the rest of the city knew this side of the Marinos, they'd be shocked.
At least I know I have been. But it makes sense.
This family doesn't run on fear or power over each other.
It's run on respect and love. In that, they have the deepest of loyalty and trust. I think that's how the Marino name has stood the test of time when other families with such power have fallen.
"I've been jealous of sharing you with them. I got you all to myself in the cabin, but I can see it in your eyes. You want a family. I'm not going to keep you from that."
"I do want a family. I can't pretend anymore that I enjoy my lone wolf status." I trace my finger down his jaw. “You’re a bit of the lone wolf in this core family.”
“I’m more like my uncles.” Now that, I really can see. War is always stoic, but I wouldn’t call Ronan that, though he might be the deadliest. He is just reserved, paying attention to everything.
“Well, I like who you are. All the different parts. You just, uh—"
“We fit,” he finishes for me when I can’t find the right words.
“We do.” I wiggle in his lap. “Bet we’d fit everywhere,” I tease, or it might not be. I do want Eros inside of me. After today, I know I want him all over me.