Chapter 33
For the first time in years, Cassian was having a most pleasant dream.
He and Adelaide were walking together through a sunlit garden.
For a fleeting moment, he allowed himself to believe in it—in the ease, in the small peace he had felt in her presence.
In his dream, he told her everything that he had kept from her, and she opened her mouth to respond. But then it was all gone.
He woke up with a start, his heart pounding. Dread curled in his gut.
He slid out of bed, the sensation driving him forward. Something was wrong. He did not know what it was, but he could not ignore it. He left his room and quickly made his way to Adelaide’s chambers.
He was certain that nothing was amiss, and he felt quite foolish for searching for her, but he could not help himself. He had to be certain.
Then he saw it.
Flames licked at the walls, peeling the wallpaper away. He rubbed his eyes furiously, convinced that he was still sleeping and that his dream had turned into a nightmare. But he remained in the hallway, the heat prickling his skin.
He was back there, in the fire, as he had been the night his life had changed.
He could hear the roar of the flames, the crack of timber, the desperate shouts of men and servants he could barely name. Smoke clawed at his throat, burned his lungs, yet he could not move once again.
“Father!”
The anguish rang in his ears.
Once again, he could see the beam above, thick and blackened, suspended as if waiting, and the heat of the fire was all around him, suffocating and relentless.
“Cassian! Move!”
His mother’s voice cut through the chaos just as it had years ago. He could have sworn that he saw her then, her face streaked with soot and tears, her hands trembling as she shook him by the shoulders.
“Help!”
But he did not. He had panicked, he had frozen, and the beam had fallen. The flames had consumed everything that night, leaving charred walls and so much grief that he had never been able to contain it.
Now, the smell of smoke brought it all back. He choked back a groan, his hands balled into fists by his sides. The fear clawed at him, sharp and bitter.
Not again, he swore to himself. Not her.
And with that promise, his mind sharpened. He inhaled, forcing his body to remember the discipline that had kept him alive since that night.
The fire in the corridor was real, but that did not mean that he had to succumb to his anxiety a second time. Instead, he had to be ready and act, no matter the cost to himself.
He drew sharp breaths, pushing past the memories. The danger was real, and Adelaide was at risk, and he could not even think about what could happen to her if he did nothing.
So he ran.
He dashed along the corridor, tripping and steadying himself only enough to avoid stumbling, then surging forward again, his mind entirely focused.
The corridor thickened with smoke, which curled along the ceiling. His lungs burned as he ran, his heart hammering with past loss and present fear. He did not think, did not hesitate. He only knew he had to reach his wife.
He reached her door and slammed his shoulder against it. It did not yield.
“Adelaide!” he shouted, his voice raw and urgent. “Open the door!”
“I-I cannot,” she called back. “I cannot move.”
He stiffened. Was she trapped?
“What do you mean?”
“I am at my window. The smoke, it—it is too much for me to cross.”
But Cassian did not care about how thick the smoke was, nor the harm that could come to him by inhaling it. With a second, violent shove, the door swung open.
Adelaide spun around, coughing harshly, small and terrified in the pale moonlight. “Cassian!” she gasped in relief.
He did not hesitate. He crossed the room, lifted her into his arms, and held her close. Her weight anchored him, keeping the memories away. All he could think of was the fact that he had to save her, at any cost.
“Hold on to me,” he urged, his voice low but commanding. “Do not let go.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he felt her tremble against his chest. He left the room and followed the hallways by memory.
He knew that it was not the time for words, but just as he had not given her the necklace at the perfect moment, he knew he had to say something.
After all, he did not know how much time they would have with one another before tragedy struck again.
“I have tried to be and do many things,” he began. “I have tried to be the man I thought I should be. I have tried to hide what I feel, to shield myself from what I could not face. But I cannot hide from this. I cannot hide from you, Adelaide. Not anymore.”
Adelaide clutched at his shoulders, her eyes wide, her lips parted in astonishment.
“I do not know when it began exactly,” he continued, his voice trembling only slightly as he reached the staircase. “It was not at first sight. I did not fall in love at a glance, even though that was what I was told would happen.”
As far as confessions went, he knew that it was not the greatest, but it was real, and he knew she would prefer that.
“No. It was over time, in the way you noticed things I would have kept secret. It was the way you questioned me, challenged me, and made me see myself differently. I wanted you to give up on me, but you refused at every turn, and I did not want to admit that it was what I had needed for years.”
They burst out of the front door, and they both took deep breaths.
Cassian did not put her down. Instead, he kept her in his arms because he knew she belonged there. Not only that, but with everything that had happened, he did not dare let her go. She was a beautiful, fragile thing, and he refused to put her at risk.
His gaze softened, locked on her face. “I have come to love the steady kindness in you, the patience, the bravery. I have come to love the way you insist on honesty, even when it is inconvenient. I have come to love that you see me, truly see me, and I have never allowed myself to be seen in that way before. Sometimes, I wonder just what sort of life I might have led if I had trusted it from the beginning, but I cannot regret it. I had to be that way, as it is what led me to you.”
Adelaide’s hands slid down to his chest, trembling slightly as if she feared breaking him with her touch. He willed her to say something, but he knew that she was too overwhelmed for words. Part of him was even grateful for that, as it gave him the chance to say everything he wanted to.
“I love you,” he confessed, his tone earnest. “I love you because you have been here quietly, persistently, without expectation. I love you because you remind me of who I can be when I am not afraid. I love you because I cannot stop thinking about you, even when I try. And I will not stop. I could never stop.”
Her breath caught, tears glimmering in the moonlight.
“Cassian…” she breathed. “I-I love you too. I know that I should have told you before, but—”
“Do not regret anything,” he murmured. “Just hold on to me. Let me keep you safe. That is all that matters to me.”
They remained together, their hearts beating in sync. Cassian was vaguely aware of the destruction behind them, but he could not bring himself to care. Adelaide was safe, and that was all he could think about.
Suddenly, a shadow detached itself from the darkness at the edge of the garden. A figure stepped forward, tall, deliberate, and unmistakable.
It was Hargrave.
Cassian’s jaw clenched, and he shifted Adelaide in his arms, at last setting her on her feet. He stepped in front of her, shielding her as Hargrave turned to them, a sly grin on his face. He heard Adelaide whimper softly behind him, and all at once, years of rage boiled to the surface.
“Good evening, Your Grace,” Hargrave greeted smoothly, his eyes glinting in the moonlight.
Cassian’s arms tightened around his wife. Everything that had passed between them, the confessions they had both made, had settled within him, and he knew that he would never let harm come to her.
Danger had returned, and he would not let it touch her.
Hargrave stepped forward, his movements unnervingly deliberate. Cassian was aware that the man could have left without being seen. He wanted to be caught, to be known as the man causing the trouble.
He wondered if Hargrave simply wanted a second beating—something he was more than willing to give.
“I see she has found her way into your arms,” Hargrave said, his voice calm but chilling. “How touching. But you misunderstand the world. You are not the first man she has wickedly tempted, only to abandon.”
“That is not her intention. She would never do that to me, for I am nothing like you. I would rather die than have that be the case.”
“You may be right, Your Grace, for unlike you, I am aware of the dangers that lurk.”
“If you knew danger, you would not cross me.”
“I did not come here to fight. You have misunderstood me entirely. I am here for you.” Hargrave’s eyes settled on Adelaide.
“She is not yours to take.”
“Perhaps not, but she is mine to save.”
Cassian stiffened, instinctively shifting Adelaide behind him. “Save her? What are you talking about?”
Hargrave’s grin widened. “Do you think I do not know the truth? Your mother always knew far more than she let on. Unlike you, she knew what was best for her, and that has always been me.”
“It was never you,” Adelaide hissed.
“Then why did she write to me from Northumberland?”
Adelaide gasped.
Cassian’s lips pressed into a thin line. “That is impossible. She never would have contacted you, not after—”
“It is not impossible,” Hargrave chuckled, stepping closer. “Your mother begged me to take her away. She fears you, Your Grace. She is convinced that you will harm your wife the same way you harmed your father.”
“You do not know a thing, Hargrave.”
“Actually, I know everything, and I came here tonight intending to rescue her from you. I was sent here to protect her from a man who could destroy her as soon as he felt like it.”
Cassian’s chest tightened, and rage flared inside him.
“You are mad,” he hissed. “You and my mother. I would never harm her, not in a thousand lifetimes. And you—you would dare threaten my wife with your delusions?”
Hargrave laughed, but the sound was brittle. “Delusions? No, there is nothing deluded about this. I wanted her to feel what your father did in his last moments, to know that her husband is nothing but a coward who would rather see her dead than risk himself.”
“And how did that end for you?” Adelaide asked coldly.
She stepped beside Cassian, her upper lip curling.
Cassian instinctively wrapped an arm around her waist. She leaned into him, and he felt her warmth steady him.
“It does not matter what you do,” she continued. “No matter how many plans you make, and no matter how hard you try, I will never be yours. I never was, and as long as I am breathing, I never will be.”
Hargrave stepped toward them, and Cassian met him with a hard shove that knocked him to the floor.
“You will go no further. I will not allow it. You may have never been punished for a thing in your life, but believe me, you will answer for this.”
Hargrave’s eyes widened with shock, and then his bravado seemed to crack, revealing panic underneath. By the time he realized he could not escape, the constables had arrived. They seized him firmly, and he struggled, wild-eyed and frantic, screaming accusations and threats to no avail.
Adelaide’s chest heaved, her eyes wide with shock. Cassian looked her over, relief washing over him when he found no injuries.
“Are you hurt?” he asked softly.
“No,” she breathed shakily, though she was smiling through her tears. “But that… I do not ever want to feel that way again.”
Cassian drew her to him again, cradling her against his chest.
“I will never let anything happen to you,” he whispered. “Not fire, not men like him. You are safe with me.”
Adelaide rested her hands over his heart. “I know,” she murmured. “There is no doubt in my mind, especially after everything that has happened tonight.”
He hugged her tightly, wondering if he would ever feel ready to let her go again. He had broken free of what was holding him back, and now he knew with absolute certainty that he would never allow it to happen again.
“I am yours,” he said simply. “Every day, every moment. And I shall prove it to you, as long as I live.”
The smoke lingered faintly in the air. They would have to rebuild the house, but Cassian did not dread that in the slightest. With every change he had made, he had grown closer to the man his wife deserved, and if that meant pulling everything apart and putting it back together, then that was what he would do.
Adelaide leaned into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart, and for the first time, Cassian knew that he had a purpose greater than any duchy could have offered.
He had a love to protect.
And nothing was going to stop him from doing that.