Chapter 14
Fourteen
Eloise
“Hey! I’m not going to blab your shit to Dane,” Tiana assured me as we rode back toward the stables at my brother’s house.
For reasons I couldn’t explain, I was still struggling to accept Reed and Kingston.
Rather than taking it out on them as I tended to do, I’d come over here, intending to talk it out with someone who didn’t know me quite as well as Karsyn, but who got me on a deeper level.
Tiana understood me in a way most people didn’t, having had moved away from our hometown for almost a decade herself.
Dane broke up with her after his high school graduation when our parents relocated to Europe practically in the middle of the night without warning.
Somehow they’d found each other again, along with their shared boyfriend, Tanner.
“It’s not that,” I finally answered her.
“Then what is it? What’s bugging you today?”
I rubbed my hand along Spitfire’s mane. She was a gorgeous American quarter horse forced into early retirement due to lack of funds by her previous owners.
Slowly pulling myself out of my thoughts that had nothing to do with the actual problem, I glanced at Tiana. “How do you deal with two Daddies?”
“Very carefully,” she suggested with a gentle shrug of her shoulders.
“Good life advice.” I cracked up. We returned to the stables, brushing down the horses and cleaning the stalls.
There was something about manual labor along with spending time with the horses that made me feel instantly lifted.
Tiana brushed Bullet, the fastest horse in the stable.
He was technically my brother’s horse, but he seemed to fall in love with her much like Dane had. She spoiled both of them.
“I was mostly kidding, Eli. Anyhow. It’s not rocket science. What’s not making sense to you? Maybe I can help navigate.”
“I’ve never been in this sort of relationship, a throuple with two dominant partners. Reed has been so much in his head! I can’t seem to get through to him. Kingston…. well… he’s different. He's super chill all the time. It’s almost annoying.”
Tiana nodded several times. “Every single dynamic is different just like every relationship is different. Why don’t you think you get through to Reed?”
“He’s grumpy. Oh! And he brats King all the time.”
“I brat to pretty much everyone. For me it’s usually when I need reassurance. Marissa swatted my ass a few weeks ago.”
“She did not!” I almost dropped the brush in my hand.
“Oh yes she did! Swatted my thighs. Jesse wasn’t home or he’d have bent me over the kitchen table!”
Jesse was Tanner’s brother and he had taken on an Uncle dynamic for her since she needed extra love, attention and discipline. I nodded knowingly. “Yes, he would have because sometimes you need Jesse to remind you how loved you are. Did Marissa’s hand do a good job?”
“Shockingly well. Don’t worry. I got it good the next time I saw Jesse,” Tiana said, letting out a long breath. “Anyways, Reed is in a job he hates. At least that’s what King told Tanner at work. Not that he gossips or anything, it was just shop talk.”
I forgot for a minute that as a firefighter Tanner worked at the same firehouse as Kingston. Interesting. I wondered if he had any additional insight that I could ask him for.
“Who said what to King Tanner?” Tanner strode to the stalls holding my brother’s hand.
Tiana snorted. “Ha ha, Daddy. You said to me that Kingston told you that Reed is in a job he hates.”
“Ah, I did. But it’s not our business to share, buttercup,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her.
“Sorry, Daddy. I’m trying to help Eloise not overthink.”
I finished my task and crossed my arms, leaning against the stable wall. “I won’t gossip. Listen, I’m not into all… this.”
“All what?” Dane looked confused and glanced between Tiana and I.
I shrugged as Tiana lifted her arms to Tanner. He picked her up, and her legs wrapped around his waist. Sighing, I wasn’t sure how to answer. Though I’d struggled with being part of a throuple, it wasn’t that strange of a lifestyle. So what the heck was my problem?
“All the rules and guidelines and submission stuff.”
Dane and Tanner exchanged a glance. My brother rubbed his chin. “I’m not entirely sure how to put this into words, but I’m going to try. You remember your relationship with Adrian?”
I took a few deep breaths, and let them out.
I hated where this was going, but I humored my brother.
Adrian Carter had been the most serious relationship in my life.
We’d broken up because my parents carted the family away to Europe.
Dane and Tiana weren’t the only ones who’d wound up hurt from that decision.
It left my brother and I heartsick on top of trying to manage an enterprise with very little experience. “Yeah. Of course I do.”
“Well, I haven’t seen you this happy or fulfilled since then. You wouldn’t take my advice previously, but you seem to be way more balanced than you have been in many years. Whatever Reed and Kingston are doing? I’d say it’s the right thing.”
My brother didn’t know everything that I wanted but he was spot-on. I hated to acknowledge that he was right, but he was. Of course he was.
We finished up in the stable and headed to the house. Tiana had her arms linked around Tanner’s neck and she made funny faces at me.
“I have a lot of triggers, Dane. I have lots of self-worth and self-esteem bullshit that’s stuck in my head.”
“You know what works wonders for emotions trapped in your head and your tummy?” Tiana asked sweetly.
“Don’t say it.”
She giggled. “I wasn’t going to say a spanking.
Even though it does help. Having someone else hold you accountable and create structure while raining down love and affection on you?
That’s better than anything physical. There’s nothing in the whole world that’s better than being in between my Daddies.
They make me feel like the most special girl! ”
“That’s because you are the most special girl, buttercup.” Tanner nuzzled her temple.
“I’m overthinking again,” I said. “I have big feelings for both of them and yet sometimes I feel like we barely know each other.”
We walked through the back door into the mudroom.
“Boots off,” Dane reminded as he set to taking Tiana’s off for her.
He kissed her cheek and she looked at him adoringly.
I loved the way he loved her. I could only hope for that kind of love in my life.
Tanner tapped my foot with his boot. I sat down on the bench and he took mine off.
It was a simple gesture that made me feel cherished.
He was gruff on the outside, but he loved taking care of others, especially my brother.
“Thanks, Tanner. I’m not trying to burden you with my relationship stuff. It’s private.”
“I don’t think anything about you is a burden, spitfire. Let’s play a game. We’ll talk more.”
“Chutes and Ladders?” Tiana asked happily.
“I was thinking more like Scrabble.”
“I don’t think you know enough big words to play,” she teased, waggling her eyebrows at Tanner. He swatted her ass and she went running into the kitchen.
“You’re in for it, brat!”
He went after her, but it was all in good fun. That’s what I wanted. An easy, fun interaction, one that I didn’t overthink. Dane hugged me tightly.
“Talk to your boyfriends, Eli. Let them know what’s on your mind.”
“I have a meeting with Grant tomorrow. I’ve been spiraling because I’ve been working a lot. More than a lot. And everyone has commented on it, especially my… boyfriends.” I’d almost said Daddies, but thought better of it at the last minute.
“You don’t have to hide things. You can refer to King and Reed as whatever your heart desires. I’m not going to judge you. Do you know that?”
“Drew might judge me.”
Dane snorted. “You really think so?”
“He doesn’t understand the lifestyle at all. I couldn’t possibly explain it to him.”
“You think that too?” My brother shook his head and tugged out his phone. He shot off a message, presumably to our older brother.
I bit my lip when my phone dinged with a notification. Digging it out of my jeans, I raised an eyebrow. It was from Drew.
Do you think I’ve been living under a rock, Eli?
I shot a look at Dane as I whispered the question. He leaned back against the stone wall as if he were about to watch a show.
“Yes, Drew. I’m fairly certain you have,” I said out loud as I typed it and sent it.
Well, I haven’t. If you want to talk about your relationship style or anything else I’m here.
Good to know. Is everyone in this town a Dom?
Only the fun ones. He added several laughing emojis.
Are you a Dom?
Yeah, spitfire.
Cool.
Love you.
Love you.
I replied with a heart emoji and then sighed. Dane chuckled as he observed my slightly open mouth.
“Did you get your answer, spitfire?”
“Yeah, I guess it makes more sense that Drew and most of our friends are into the same sort of relationships that we are. Honestly, it would be more shocking if we didn’t pick friends who had similar mindsets.
Thanks. We’ve been rebuilding our relationship.
It makes me think that Drew understands me a lot more than I thought. ”
“He does, Eli. We both do. All we’ve wanted is for you to be happy. You’ve been working so damn hard. I hope that this new relationship shows you that you don’t have to handle everything alone. And even if it doesn't work out? You have us. And our friends. Keep that in mind, ok?”
“Yeah, Dane. I got it.”
And I finally did. At least at the moment I did. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t question it later, but I really did have a strong support system and it was okay to lean on them. I needed to remember that.