Chapter 12 #2
“I wished to declare my love for you openly.”
Lavinia’s jaw dropped. She stared at Lord Windham and saw no falsehood in his expression. His inky blue eyes were wide and earnest. He stood before her with his palms raised, offering her his heart and affection.
“You… love… me?” she asked haltingly. “But how is that possible?”
He gulped. “When I stayed with your brother and your parents so long ago, I spent my days wandering through the estate. As you know, there is a rather fine portrait of you hanging in the hall and…”
Lavinia nodded numbly. “I had my portrait taken when I was just eighteen… to celebrate my debut.”
“I walked by that portrait dozens of times every day, Miss Fitzroy.” Lord Windham removed his fine silk top hat and traced his fingers tremulously over the brim.
“I… Even when I should not have been in that part of the house, I found myself returning to that spot so I could gaze up at your beautiful face.”
“But it is just a portrait,” Lavinia said. “You could not develop any real feelings for me while looking upon it. You could not—”
“I have met you now, Miss Fitzroy,” Lord Windham argued. His voice stopped quivering, and his speech grew more impassioned. “I know that you are not just beautiful, but also adventurous and…”
“You long for adventure?” Lavinia arched an eyebrow at him.
“I need someone full of spirit and ebullient in my life,” he confessed. “I am too timid to mingle in Society as I should, so I need a wife who will—”
“No.” Lavinia shook her head. She had heard enough. “Lord Windham, you shouldn’t be here. You should not have followed me.”
“Why should I not be here?” he asked, confused. “Were you expecting to see someone else?”
“I was expecting to be alone, My Lord,” she emphasized.
Lord Windham stared at her for a long moment, then he spoke softly, “Were you expecting another gentleman to accompany you here?”
He took a step forward, and she took a step back. Suddenly, she felt a little resistance behind her back. She realized that a tree trunk had stopped her from moving. She had been uncomfortable when Lord Windham had professed his love, but this turn in the conversation had her even more discomfited.
“Were you expecting the Duke of Pemberton?” he pressed.
He stared into her eyes as he completely trapped her in one place. Soon, only a small gap separated them. Lavinia felt her heart thud in her chest, and she hurried to come up with an answer.
“The Duke would not come here,” she muttered. There was a bitterness in her voice, although it had turned a little shaky from her nerves. She felt uneasy, and she wanted to escape.
“What do you like so much about His Grace? What hold does he have over you?”
Lavinia closed her eyes and wished she could be somewhere else. Anywhere else. It was hard enough to confront her burgeoning feelings for the Duke. She did not want to have to explain herself to the lovelorn Lord Windham, too.
“Why… why must you mention the Duke at a time like this, Lord Windham?” Her voice barely concealed the tremor of unease that ran through her.
Her heels sank slightly into the soft earth as she pushed her back against the trunk, hoping that she would magically go through it.
“I don’t like the way you look at him,” Lord Windham uttered. “I want to know, Miss Fitzroy. What do you see in him?”
Lavinia’s heart pounded hard in her chest. An image of the Duke flashed through her mind.
As she remembered his light brown eyes, the way his body felt against hers, the way his fingers traced her skin, and the press of his lips against hers, the pain of his subsequent coldness only grew stronger.
Although this was not something she wanted to share with Lord Windham.
This was something that nobody else had to know.
“How I feel and who I admire are none of your concern,” she replied.
She tried to step around him, but Lord Windham quickly blocked her path.
“You do not need him, Miss Fitzroy. I am here now,” he said softly, as though he were hoping to coax a scared animal out of a hole.
“The Duke of Pemberton is a rake, a man with no regard for decency. He will only ruin your reputation, Miss Fitzroy, as he has so many other fine ladies. He will ruin your family.”
Lavinia winced at his words. While Charles had spoken kindly of the Duke what seemed like mere moments ago, these words of caution echoed what her mother had said that morning.
“Do you think I need you to intercede on my behalf?” she scoffed.
“You need to know what type of man he is, Miss Fitzroy.” Lord Windham lifted his chin slightly and sniffed. “The Duke of Pemberton is no gentleman.”
“And you are?” she challenged. “You have spent this week following me from one place to the next because you fell in love with my portrait?” Her unease caused the words to spill out of her mouth.
“I have followed you because I care for you, Miss Fitzroy. I have made it my mission to seek your favor because I adore you and—”
“You cannot adore me, Lord Windham,” she said through gritted teeth. “You do not even know me.”
Instead of being repulsed by her words, Lord Windham leaned closer so that only a hairsbreadth separated their faces. “I want you, Lavinia,” he whispered. “I want you to be mine.”
Lavinia recoiled, her stomach twisting with revulsion.
“No.” Her response was immediate and automatic. “I want love and romance and—”
“I can give you everything, even the things he cannot,” Lord Windham cut her off, sounding desperate. “I can make you happy, Lavinia. Your life with me would be filled with one adventure after another and, in time, I am sure you would grow to love me as much as I love you.”
“No!” she cried. “Love does not work that way, My Lord. I do not intend to marry someone and then fall in love. I want… I want…” She sagged against the tree.
“Be reasonable, Miss Fitzroy.” Lord Windham licked his lower lip. “You know that a union between us would be smiled upon by one and all. Don’t you realize how much this would make your mother happy?” he reasoned.
“I will not marry you, Lord Windham.”
“Please,” he pleaded. “Please, Miss Fitzroy.”
Suddenly, he lifted his hand and grabbed her. His fingers curled delicately around her wrist. He treated her as if she were a bit of spun sugar.
Lavinia stared at him in shock. As she opened her mouth to speak her piece, a twig snapped, and a voice barked, “Unhand her, Windham.”
Her heart leaped as the Duke emerged from the trees. Although his expression was cold and furious, she knew he was what she needed.
Lord Windham’s hand dropped to his side at once, and he turned to face the Duke.
Tension hung heavily in the air. It was so thick that Lavinia could almost taste it.
The Duke lifted a hand and offered it to her. She accepted it and sidestepped around Lord Windham.
“You should leave, Windham,” the Duke said, his voice low and dangerous. He was not asking.
Lord Windham’s eyes flickered with a mix of resignation and frustration, but he evidently knew better than to challenge a duke. With a final, resentful glance at the pair, he turned and strode away, disappearing into the shadows of the woods.
The quiet had once again replaced the tension, and the woods around them seemed to breathe in sync with the silence.
Peter still trembled in rage, his fists clenched at his sides as he tried to calm himself.
The moment he noticed Lavinia missing at her mother’s banquet, he knew something was wrong. His instincts had screamed at him to find her, to protect her, and when he had seen Lord Windham practically pinning her to the tree, he was compelled to intervene.
“Did he hurt you?” he demanded as soon as Lord Windham was out of sight, his voice low but laced with concern. He stepped closer to Lavinia, his eyes scanning her face and body for injuries.
“No, he did not,” Lavinia replied.
She looked up at him, trying to convey her strength, but he wasn’t convinced. He knew she was brave, sometimes to the point of recklessness, and he also knew that she would rather downplay her suffering than admit to it.
“Don’t lie to me, Lavinia,” he said, his voice growing more insistent. “If he did anything to hurt you, I swear—”
“Peter,” Lavinia interrupted, her tone sharper now. “I’m not lying. He didn’t hurt me. Lord Windham is… he is in love with me. And I do not think he would ever harm a hair on my head.”
It was then that Peter remembered he and Lavinia were holding hands, because she snatched her hand away.
“Good God,” he whispered. “It is worse than I thought.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “How?”
He nodded back toward the lawn, where all the other guests were still mingling. “If anyone other than me had found the two of you out here and overheard Lord Windham professing his love for you…”
“I know.” Lavinia shivered slightly. “I would have been forced to marry him.”
Peter looked at her, his anger giving way to frustration and a deep sense of helplessness. “What am I to do with you, Lavinia?”
The left corner of her mouth twitched. “You said yesterday that you wanted very little to do with me, Your Grace.” She eyed him intently.
“Besides, no one did see me standing with Lord Windham, except for you. I’ve been careful,” she said, her tone firm as if she were convincing herself. “I know what I’m doing.”
Peter scoffed, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Careful? Lavinia, you were alone in the woods with that man. That’s not what I would call careful.”
Lavinia’s eyes flashed with indignation. “And what about now?” she shot back. “I’m alone in the woods with you. Is that not just as unwise?”
Peter’s eyes narrowed, his frustration mounting once more. “That’s different.”
“How?” Lavinia challenged, her voice rising. “How is it any different? You think I’m safe with you, but what about the scandal if someone were to find us? You know as well as I do that my parents wouldn’t care about the circumstances. They’d only see the impropriety.”
Peter ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “I’m trying to protect you, Lavinia.”
“I don’t need your protection,” she hissed. “What I need is for you to understand that I can handle myself. I’m not some damsel in distress waiting for a knight to save her.”
Peter stared at her, a mix of anger, frustration, and something else—something deeper—roiling in his gut.
“I think it would be better if you went back to the banquet,” he suggested.
Suddenly, she looked different. He noticed a stubborn lock of hair escaping her coiffure and fluttering into her eyes. He raised a hand gently, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her cheeks flushed a light red as she looked away from him.
“You’re right, I think I should head back,” she said, avoiding his gaze. She turned to walk away.
“You should.”
But before she could even take a step, Peter reached for her hand. He laced his fingers through hers.
Lavinia was already looking at him when he found her eyes. “I do not understand you, Peter.”
It was a relief to hear her say his name. No, it was more than a relief. It was a pleasure. It was glorious. It was exactly what he needed to hear.
He cupped her face, not saying anything.
“What are we doing here?” she whispered almost breathlessly. “Before… earlier… you ignored me.”
Peter looked at her eyes and then her lips. He could still remember what they felt like.
Their eyes locked onto each other. There was no need to say what he was feeling. He was certain her heart pounded just as rapidly as his own. He moved his head closer, almost closing the gap between them. Lavinia breathed into his face, and he could feel how nervous she was and maybe aroused.
He stroked his thumb gently over her palm, circling softly against the middle and the length of her thumb. She let out a soft moan.
“What are you doing to me?” she asked.
He watched her confusion. Maybe he liked it when she was helpless around him. Maybe he wanted to tease her like this.
“This is not fair,” she complained.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
“Peter,” she almost whispered.
This time, he could no longer take it. He quickly closed the gap between them, and their lips met once more.
Peter was gentler than the last time. He felt her lips as he stroked his tongue in between them. He pulled her closer, letting her feel how much he wanted her. Her lips felt softer than before. He couldn’t help but gently bite the lower one.
His hands stroked her back as his teeth gently nibbled on her lower lip. She moaned in surprise.
Suddenly, he stopped. He held her in his arms as she caught her breath. He enjoyed looking at her after kissing her. Her face had turned bright red, and her lips were swollen.
She looked perfect in every way possible. If only he could have her.
Slowly, he disentangled his arms from around her and put some distance between them. He took several steps back, then said in a resigned tone, “The next time you go for a walk in the woods, do try to be more careful. You never know who could be following you.”