Chapter 26 #2
I shouldn’t have stopped earlier and let him into the car. What was I thinking? Of course August would need transportation, and of course I couldn’t put the two of them together in an enclosed space.
Look what happened the last time they were in the same room.
August’s plastic bag crinkles in his fist, and he takes a step backward.
I move without thinking, placing myself between August and the doors.
“He’s not leaving with Jake,” I say. “He’s leaving with me. I’m calling a rideshare to take us both somewhere he can get settled safely.”
The nurse lowers her voice.
“Mr. Gallagher, you have been discharged. You are not in custody. You decide who accompanies you and where you go.”
August’s jaw flexes once.
“Then I’m not going with my brother. Only Lennon.”
“I’m calling a car now.”
The nurse nods. “I’ll have security escort you through the west discharge exit.”
Jake will have a shitfit later, but as far as I’m concerned, Jake can eat shit.
My phone pings when a driver accepts the ride, and I move the pickup pin to the hospital’s west entrance.
Jake has his own key fob for the car.
He can drive himself home.
As soon as the security guard leads us around the corner, August whispers, “What are you doing with him?”
“Not now. I’ll tell you in the car.”
He nods.
We both walk quietly but quickly behind the guard as he escorts us through the building.
I chose the rideshare with the shortest wait, and luckily, it’s already there by the time we reach the other exit.
I thank the security guard and pull open the back door for August.
He slides inside.
I follow him, close the door, and pull out my phone to text Jake.
[LENNON: theyd only release if I escort him by taxi. I’ll be home in an hour]
It feels like I’m reporting in to a parent.
Which is super messed up because it’s my husband. At least for as long as it takes in order to get August in the clear.
My phone starts beeping with texts coming back in, but I switch the button on the side of the phone to silence and turn to August, sliding my hand into his.
“Are you okay?”
“Did you just text him? What’s going on, Lennon?”
I squeeze his hand and press the outside of my thigh to the outside of his, glad he’s in front of me where I can see he’s safe. “First tell me if you’re okay,” I press.
He shudders a little, glancing back at the hospital. “You know. Just looking my worst fear in the eye.”
“Oh my god. Babe.” I feel bad the second the word slips off my tongue. Because it’s a false promise. So is holding his hand. He’s not my babe right now.
I might be a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them.
And I still need Jake to keep his word and not testify against this man in custody hearings.
My eyes close and I unflex my fingers, pulling my hand back into my lap.
“What’s wrong? Lennon. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I made a deal.” I put space between us on the back seat so I can look August in the face, even as I hate losing the physical contact. “With Jake. He’s not going to press charges for assault—”
“I didn’t push him through that window,” August says earnestly. “I didn’t. And I only ran because I just freaked out, knowing how it would look. How Jake would make it look—”
“I know,” I cut him off, if only because I need him to understand and we don’t have a lot of time. I don’t put it past Jake to be following us to the RV park right now, intent on staging another scene and calling the cops again.
August is dragging his hands through his hair and looking a little frantic, so I grab his hands and hold them in mine, squeezing again. In part it’s just another excuse to touch him.
“I know, August. You know I know how he works. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He lets out a big, pent-up breath, nodding in relief at being believed.
That hits hard, real, real deep. Because god I know what that feels like. For the first time to have someone backing up that you aren’t crazy. That what you’re experiencing at the hands of this other person is real.
“We both know how he operates. And we also know he wouldn’t stop until he’s twisted things so that you don’t have access to your own son.”
August was nodding but suddenly he freezes, his gaze shooting to mine. “Oh no. Lennon. What did you do? You said you made a deal. What does that mean?”
I let his hands go again, crossing my arms over my chest, if only to stop myself from touching him.
“It’s just temporary until you’re totally out of the woods with this.”
“Lennon. Tell me.”
“I’m going back for a little while. Just so he can save face and look like the big man at church.” I shrug but August’s face immediately drains of color and his head starts moving the other direction, shaking.
“No. No, Lennon, you can’t—”
“Your son is only four,” I cut him off. “These are formative years where he needs you. So you’re going to let me do this. Actually, no man will ever let me do anything again. I’m sorry if that’s frustrating for you. But I’m doing this, and informing you right now that I’m doing it.”
He opens his mouth, then closes it, exhales harshly and swings his head around to glare out the window, his whole body vibrating with an anger I understand. I really, really do.
“It’s not safe,” he bites out, and then his head swings back around to me. “Look what he did to me, Len. He’s dangerous.”
I wave a hand. “He’s not dangerous—”
“Don’t underestimate him. I was literally held against my own will for the last seventy-two hours. He’s more dangerous than you think.”
I gentle my tone. “All I mean is that he’s not physically abusive.
He’s manipulative, and yes, I agree, in that way, dangerous.
” I wait until August’s darting eyes meet mine and hold his gaze.
“But he’s also not as smart as he thinks he is.
And we know his game now. We’re not alone anymore. We have each other.”
August swallows hard and his jaw clenches. “You were right not to want to get involved with me. I hate that you got brought into this.”
“No, August— I—”
But what am I going to say?
That I was just scared of labels, but I think I could spend the rest of my life happy with him, when I’ve just sworn to Jake I’ll forget August ever existed?
Still, I can’t help lifting a hand towards his cheek, hovering and withdrawing it before touching.
He grabs it midair and pulls it to cup his cheek, eyes closing and collapsing against my hand.
I’m suddenly choked with tears at seeing how desperate he is for comfort. Why the fuck have I been wasting this car ride keeping my distance? Fuck Jake.
I pull him into my arms in a fierce hug and he collapses against my stomach, wrapping his arms furiously around my waist.
I’m not sure if he’s crying, or just heaving for breath after facing his worst nightmare the last three days and nights.
I imagine him in the dark of that place, everything unfamiliar and terrifying, not knowing what was going to happen—plus knowing his brother was able to exercise control over his life and freedom just like he always could.
I rub his back and squeeze his shoulders, wanting him to feel every ounce of my affection in a tangible way for the rest of the short time we have together.
All too soon, the car pulls to a stop in the RV parking lot.
August sits up, his head shaking no. “I can’t let you go back to him. He’s a monster. You don’t know what he’s capable of—”
“Give me your phone,” I say quickly, panicking even as I’m trying to project calm for his sake.
He unzips the plastic Ziplock bag, unlocks it, and hands it to me. It has 2% charge left, so I work quickly. I open his email and thumb out the name of a Minecraft server I play on sometimes, hitting send right as the phone blinks a low battery warning and then turns off.
“Find me there.”
“I can’t wait around all day, folks,” the driver says from up front.
“Right,” I say hurriedly, and put in another request for a ride back to Jake, so the driver can accept it.
“You’ve gotta go,” I say to August.
He shakes his head, but I push him towards his door.
For a few more moments, he stubbornly refuses.
“I’m not changing my mind. We’re doing this my way. I’ll send out a Bat Signal if I need you, okay?”
Finally seeing I won’t change my mind, he grabs the door handle and pushes it open.
Then turns back to me, grabs my face, and kisses me so furiously, it takes my breath away. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him desperately back. Because this might be the last time for…
No more thinking.
Just being present in this kiss.
The drugging feel of his lips against mine. The warm feel of his chest underneath my palm and his heart beating so hard I can feel it all but syncing up with mine until—
I have to pull away, because I know he never will.
“Go,” I say, panting for breath. “August. Go.”
“Lennon,” he says, almost glaring with intensity of all the things he’s not saying, and I nod, my own throat too choked to say all that I can’t say.
Then he pulls swiftly out of the back seat and slams the door shut like if he doesn’t do it fast, he won’t be able to force himself to do it at all.
I sob the entire drive back to Austin.