19. Jack
19
JACK
A sneer creeps onto my face as I gaze at the photo in the newspaper. The image captures Willem Botha, a man who falls into the despicable category of assholes. And there are two types of despicable assholes—the ones who have the audacity to confront you directly, and the ones who cowardly taunt you from a distance.
Willem belongs to the latter group. It baffles me how he can appear saint-like in that picture, considering what he has done to his own son. He stands there, all smiles, alongside a group of esteemed information technology scientists at a prestigious London summit. Richard Branson’s absence is notable, but the article emphasizes Willem’s respect and recognition in the industry, even labeling him a trailblazer.
Ava wraps her arms around me from behind. “You’re still staring at that photo?” she comments, resting her chin on my shoulder. Her apron carries the scent of freshly roasted potatoes and vegetables.
“I’m trying to envision what’s going on in his mind.”
“Power, money, pride,” she scoffs. Then she turns me around, giving me a casual smile. “By the way, how much sauce would you like?”
Tonight, she’s preparing my favorite dish - fillet mignon with mushroom sauce and all the trimmings.
“The more, the better,” I respond eagerly, turning my head to give her a quick peck on the cheek.
“I thought you’d be the saucy type,” she quips.
As she moves away from me, I reach out and catch her hand, not wanting to let go. “Next time, I’ll cook your favorite. By the way, what is it?”
She looks at me, thinking. “Baked halibut with fresh herbs.”
“It sounds delicious. I’ll make it happen,” I assure her. “Helena isn’t well known for its seafood, but I won’t let that stop me from getting fresh fish.”
“Maybe you can cook me it when we’re in Hawaii?” Ava winks at me as she walks away.
I know she would go to the ends of the earth for me, but she’s happy here. She has her best friend, and there’s a promising job opportunity in the city that may restart her career. And I must confess that Montana is a great place to raise children.
I close Willem’s article and search for seafood markets in Helena where I can find fresh catches. As I peruse recipes for her favorite meal, I recall my days at St. Leo’s monastery. Cooking was a skill I acquired under the guidance of a nurturing nun, though I’ve never attempted a dish with halibut before.
Shortly after, as half the house starts to smell like a steak restaurant, Ava calls dinner. We take our seats at the table.
“I talked to my captain,” I inform her while spreading butter on my bread.
She nervously gazes at me. “And? ”
“He’s given me an extra week,” I reveal.
She lets out a sigh of relief and says, “We can use that time to prepare for our move to Hawaii.”
Ava is the type of person who will make sacrifices for her loved ones. Even though she doesn’t get along with her parents, I learned from Morgan that Ava decided to give her relationship with Willem another try because of them. I don’t know the specifics, and I don’t agree with her choice, but it demonstrates her willingness to prioritize others over herself. I won’t ask her to do the same for me. ‘She before me’ applies to more than just our physical relationship. In the face of harm, I’ll stand before her. But anywhere else, it’s her before me.
After the pause, she adds, “Let Quinton and me come with you, Jack.”
I set down my knife to hold her hand. “Deep down, that’s not what you want, is it?”
“That’s what I want. I want to be with you.”
“Look, sweetheart. It’s not just about Hawaii. Living a military life means moving from one base to another. We might be in Oahu for the next few months or weeks, and then it could be California, Florida, North Carolina, or even overseas.”
“We’ll work it out, Jack. How many military families are there? They make it work.”
“Some don’t.”
“Well, we’ll make sure we’re not one of them.”
I admire her belief and optimism. But I’ve witnessed couples and families deeply in love, who believed they had the strength to endure, only to be torn apart by the harsh realities of logistical challenges and prolonged separation.
Growing up, I never had a male role model, and my understanding of what a childhood should be is as blank as a white sheet of paper. The idea of nurturing a family is already a daunting task, let alone leading a family in the demanding context of the military.
I’m not afraid of Ava leaving me—if she feels it’s necessary, I will not stand in her way. What I’m afraid of is that she’ll choose to stay with me no matter what, sacrificing her own well-being for my sake—and there would be no stopping her. And, heaven forbid, if something were to happen to me, I don’t want to leave her and Quinton to pick up the pieces.
“I would give up the Corps for you, Ava,” I assure her. I won’t abandon her. If it means leaving the Marine Corps, then so be it.
“Don’t let me be the reason for ending your career. You love your job, you’re good at it, and you’re needed there.”
Confusion clouds my mind, making it impossible to decide. “I won’t leave you alone. Especially when Willem is still a free man.”
“We can’t live in his shadow, Jack,” Ava says. “We need to uncover the connection between Quinton’s abduction and him. Until then, I don’t think we can plan our future properly. So for now, I’m okay with taking things one step at a time.”
I gently caress her, admiring her practicality. “You’re right.”
“Until Willem is behind bars, please don’t make any rash decisions,” she advises.
She is both intelligent and talented, and there are moments when I question how I am deserving of her. But she is undoubtedly the one for me. She loves me for who I am, and I reciprocate that love in a way that no one else can. Because of this, I believe we are deserving of each other.
I clear breadcrumbs off my fingertips, then move on to take my first bite of the steak. I dip it in the thick, creamy sauce. Damn! It’s cracking. “This is delicious!” I exclaim, a proud smile forming on her face. I know she has skills in the kitchen, but I also appreciate the love and effort she put into making this meal. I almost clean my plate with my tongue, savoring every last bit.
Ava notices my enthusiasm. “Didn’t I make enough?”
“Oh, you made plenty,” I praise. “It was just so good.”
After we finish eating, I try to stop her from helping me with the dishes, but she insists since Quinton is already in bed. Watching her diligently wipe the plates and glasses, I wonder how much Willem truly appreciated her when they were together.
She catches my expression. “You seem far away.”
Her encouraging face gives me the confidence to start, “I’ve been wondering about you and Willem.”
She picks up another plate, drying it with a kitchen towel, and teases, “You want to know if it was love at first sight?”
I chuckle. “Maybe.”
“Apart from you, love at first sight had never been part of my history,” she quips. “I met Willem while on an assignment in Sacramento. I worked for CBS at the time. You know, court artists aren’t actually affiliated with the justice system. The media hire us to cover trials where cameras aren’t allowed. W-Bot had just won a contract with California DOJ. We met through my manager at CBS. He and I became friends, but I never felt any romantic connection. He tried, but I kept my distance.”
Ava places the stack of dried plates on the shelf, and I decide to abandon the rest of the cleaning. I guide her to the living room, ready to continue our conversation. Sitting beside me on the sofa, she puts her feet up and leans against me.
“Everything changed when I fell ill,” she goes on.
“Your leukemia?”
“Yes, the most aggressive kind. It was almost a death sentence, even with the right treatment.”
Uncomfortable heat sprawls at my back, hearing the word ‘ death’ associated with her. It reminds me of the two kinds of danger there are in this world—the kind you can protect your loved ones from, and the kind that will win no matter what you do.
I tighten my hold on her. “You’re clear now, though, right?”
She smiles, telling me not to worry. “I’ve been cancer-free for three years now.”
I nuzzle at her neck, inhaling her scent. “So Willem helped you?”
Letting out a sigh of frustration, she takes hold of each of my fingers as if using them as a visual aid to help convey her explanation. “He did. And to make matters worse, my father’s taxi business went under, leaving us with no way to afford my medical expenses. He made sure I had access to the best doctors and paid for everything without questions. I never asked him to do it. I was grateful for his help, but at the same time, I didn’t want it.”
I can picture Willem acting that way, barging into her life without considering her opinions. But the truth is, I can’t deny that he saved Ava’s life.
She continues. “I beat the cancer, but it wasn’t easy for me to rebuild my career. I was just an intern, so after being absent for months, I had to start from scratch. Besides, the demand for courtroom sketches had dwindled. Willem, with his connections in high places, managed to help me secure a permanent position as a graphic artist with CBS while still working in court on an assignment basis.
“With a steady income, I could afford to send money regularly to my parents. But my parents… they have no shame! They kept accepting Willem’s money to get things they didn’t need—it was all for prestige. But I had never seen my parents so happy, and at the same time, I became stronger and got back on my feet, all thanks to Willem. So I gave in. ”
She sighs deeply, pressing her lips in regret.
“Hey, don’t blame yourself,” I say, rubbing her shoulder.
“You probably think I’m gutless.”
“No, you’re not! I would have done the same thing,” I assure her.
“No, you wouldn’t,” she insists.
“I would. I was an orphan after being kidnapped, so I can’t understand your situation with your parents. Well, my father is still around, but it’s not the same when you met him for the first time as an adult.”
Her head nods a little.
I interlock my fingers with hers, saying, “But I know I would have done what I could to make my family happy. And I would have felt indebted to Willem for what he had done. I hate that man. God, I really do! But if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be here. In your shoes, I would have done the same, Ava.”
A small smile appears on her face. With newfound confidence, she continues, “After enduring his anger and abuse, I finally ended things with him. But my parents begged me to take him back, especially when my mom got sick. They’ve done so much for me. Even before the leukemia, I was frequently ill as a kid. So, I got back together with Willem, and I became pregnant.”
There is pain in her voice, but I can also see a glimmer of joy on her face, perhaps reminiscing the moment she discovered she was expecting.
I nudge her closer, feeling her tiny waist in my hands. “You wouldn’t trade it for anything, would you? Your Quinton?”
“No. Not in this life or the next. He’s been my best friend, even when he was still in my belly.” Her face beams with happiness. The light above catches her rosy cheeks, adding a soft glow to her features .
For so long, I never felt like I had a family. But when Sam found me and I reconnected with my dad, I finally understood the true value of family. I look at Ava and say, “No family is perfect, but you do whatever it takes to protect your loved ones. And Ava, you’re here with me. That shows how resilient and determined you are.”
She leans back, meeting my lips with hers. I feel the warmth and softness of her kiss. I think she’s made peace with her past, something I haven’t been able to achieve yet.
I continue. “We have less than a week to uncover the connection between Willem and Quinton’s abduction, or at least with the bearded man. Cora-Lee is back on duty after her surgery. With her help, we’ll get there faster.”
“Okay.”
“And if the week is up and we haven’t caught that bastard, I think the only way to keep you and Quinton safe is to bring you both to Hawaii.”
Ava flashes a smile, a visible release of tension. “Good plan.”
Time is slipping away, and the looming end of my stay in Helena is putting everything in fast-forward. One thing is certain. No matter where I am—in Montana, Hawaii, or anywhere else in the world—I’ll have to confront my nightmares if I want to make things work with Ava. She’s faced her fair share of adversity, and I can’t be the one to add to it. Once our business with Willem is done, I’ll do whatever it takes to find Scalpel.