Her Fake Plus One

One

Kema Anderson

“Bitch, you can’t be serious.” I glared at Sierra from my spot on her couch, waiting for her to chuckle. Tell me she was joking. Say sike. Shit, something. Hell at this point I would take Ashton Kutcher jumping out from behind the couch. I just knew my best friend was lying to me.

But instead, she sat across from me looking guilty as hell, twisting that big-ass rock of an engagement ring around her finger. I couldn’t deny Stephen did a great job picking that ring out. But my bitch was being a big goofy right now. “You’re serious?”

“Kema—”

“No.” I held my hand up. “Because before you say anything else, I need to make sure I heard you correctly. Not only is Markel coming to the wedding. But he’s also going to be the best man.”

Sierra sighed. “Yes.”

“And y’all agreed to let him have a plus one.”

“Yes.”

“At your wedding, Sisi?”

“Kema.”

“Maybe I’m confused about whose living room I’m sitting in right now. I just need to make sure my best friend isn’t pranking me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Girl, stop.”

I wanted so bad to throw a tantrum. Markel being at Sierra and Stephen’s wedding wasn’t necessarily the problem.

I could see Markel without bursting into tears or throwing myself off the nearest balcony.

I was over him. And I had been for a while.

What I wasn’t over was the fact that he’d wasted four years of my damn life just to cheat on me with a woman he swore was “just a friend.”

And apparently, that friend was coming to Cancún too.

That was the part Sierra had been taking her sweet-ass time getting to.

I leaned back against the couch and crossed my arms. Was I pouting?

Yes. And it was because this shit wasn’t fair.

How do my friends allow for the nigga who hurt me to bring the plus one he used to hurt me?

“So let me get this straight. I’m your maid of honor. ”

“Yes.”

“And Markel is Stephen’s best man.”

“Yes.”

“And that Tootie is coming with him?”

Sierra’s lips pressed together. I leaned forward. “Sierra.”

“Yes, Kema. Tiana is coming.”

I chortled. Because sometimes all you could do was laugh.

When the alternative was catching a charge.

They wanted me to revert to my old ways, but I’m healing and my therapist said I’m doing a great job at not beating a nigga ass…

So instead of blowing up on my best friend I just nodded and said, “wow.”

“Kema, please don’t be mad...”

“Mad? I’m not mad. Actually this is hilarious.” I grabbed my wineglass from the coffee table and chugged the rest of it. “You mean to tell me I’m about to spend a whole week in Cancún with my ex-boyfriend and the bitch he cheated on me with, and y’all are just now deciding to tell me?”

“We didn’t just decide to tell you.”

“Oh but you did Sisi. The wedding is in four days. Y’all just now decided to tell me. That’s crazy actually,” I said grabbing the wine bottle from the table and pouring some more wine into my glass.

Sierra looked at me with hesitation. And that shit was pissing me off more. Quite frankly everybody had me fucked up. Maybe I should catch that charge. “Sierra.”

“I found out last week.”

“LAST WEEK?” I hollered damn near choking on my wine. “And you’re telling me now?”

“I knew you were going to react like this!”

“Like what? A person with common fucking sense?”

“Kema.”

“What Sisi?”

“Can you calm down?”

“I am calm.”

She looked at the wine glass I was clutching in my hands that cracked when I put it down. Okay maybe calm was generous. I wasn’t calm but how could I be.

I wasn’t hurt. That was the part I needed everybody to understand.

Markel could marry Tiana tomorrow and have six little cheating-ass, bald headed ass, ugly ass babies with her for all I cared.

I didn’t want that man back. There wasn’t some secret part of me waiting around hoping he would wake up one morning and realize he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

Fumbling me was a mistake. That was obvious to anybody with a brain.

But that was his problem. My problem was I had spent months putting myself back together after he embarrassed the hell out of me, and now I was expected to stand at an altar across from him while the woman he’d cheated with sat in the audience.

Oh let’s not forget I had to smile. And walk down the aisle beside him. And pretend I didn’t wanna kill this nigga. For an entire fucking week. “Why does she even have to come?” I asked.

Sierra gave me a look.

“What?”

“You know I can’t tell Stephen who Markel can bring.”

“You can absolutely tell your future husband that you don’t want homewreckers at your wedding.”

“Kema!”

“What? It’s your special day. Protect the energy.”

She tried not to chuckle. “Don’t laugh.” I chuckled. “I’m dead ass.”

She tried to control her giggles before getting serious. “Okay, okay. I’m done laughing.”

Her shoulders started shaking. “See? This is why I don’t like your ass.”

Sierra burst out in a fit of giggles, and against my better judgment, I did too. This shit still wasn’t funny. But at least we could laugh.

I took another sip of wine and stared at her. “And why the hell does Markel have to be the best man anyway?”

“Because he and Stephen have been best friends since high school.”

“And? Steph ain’t got no brother or hell even a gay sister to be his best man?”

She chuckled again, “bitch you play too fucking much. You know damn well he’s an only child. And Kel is his best friend.”

“So?”

“So what do you want Stephen to do, Kema? Kick him out of the wedding because y’all broke up?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You know damn well that’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I don’t know!” I threw my free hand up. “I’m saying this shit is weird. Everybody knows what happened. You know. Stephen knows. Hell, half the damn wedding party knows. And now we’re all supposed to spend seven days together pretending it isn’t going to be awkward?”

“I never said it wouldn’t be awkward.”

“Wonderful. Can’t wait.”

“Kema, listen to me.” Sierra moved from the chair across from me and sat beside me on the couch. “I know this isn’t ideal.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“But I need you there.”

My expression softened immediately. SiSi knew I would do anything for her. She rested her head against my shoulder. “You’re my best friend. I don’t want to spend my wedding week worried that you’re uncomfortable, but I also can’t ask Stephen to replace his best man. That wouldn’t be fair to him.”

I knew that. Didn’t mean I had to like it. “And for what it’s worth,” she continued, “Stephen didn’t know Markel was bringing Tiana until last week either.”

“Of course he didn’t. Kel was being sneaky.”

“He actually told him he thought it was a bad idea.”

“And yet?”

“And yet Markel is grown.”

“Debatable.”

“Kema.”

“Okay. Okay, I’m done.”

She laughed softly. I stared into my wine. Seven days. Seven days at an all-inclusive resort in Cancún.

Under normal circumstances, that sentence would’ve sounded like heaven. Ocean views, unlimited drinks, food, and my best friend marrying the love of her life. I was actually looking forward to it until hearing Kel was bringing Tiana.

But regardless of that I’d bought enough swimsuits to change three times a day. And I would look good all week. When the thought hit me. I sat up on the couch causing Sierra to lift her head. “What?”

I didn’t answer. Because this idea I had was crazy. Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you making that face?”

“What face?”

“That face you make right before you do some shit you probably shouldn’t do.”

“I don’t have a face like that.”

“You absolutely have a face like that.”

I ignored her and grabbed my phone. There had to be somebody I could invite.

Seven days in Cancún. All expenses already covered except the flight.

Beautiful resort, free food, and unlimited liquor.

Finding a man willing to come wouldn’t be difficult.

But finding one I could tolerate for an entire week? That was a different story.

I started mentally going through my options. Sierra watched me suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

“Thinking.”

“About?”

I smiled slowly. “I need a date.”

She blinked. “A date?”

“For the wedding.”

“Kema…”

“What? If he can bring her then you have to let me bring a date.”

“You do not need to bring some random man to my wedding just because Markel is bringing Tiana.”

“Who said anything about random?”

“You don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Thank you for reminding me.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, Sierra. What I’m not about to do is spend an entire week watching everybody watch me.”

“Nobody is going to—”

I cut her off before she could finish. “Yes, they are.”

She went quiet. Because she knew I was right. People loved mess. Nobody had to say anything. I already knew how it would go. Every time Markel and Tiana walked into a room, somebody would glance at me to see if I’d noticed.

Fuck that. If people wanted something to look at, I’d give them something better. “I have four days,” I said.

“To do what?”

“Find a plus one.”

“Kema, please don’t turn my wedding into a revenge plot.”

I stood and grabbed my purse. “It’s not revenge.”

She stared at me. “It sounds exactly like revenge.”

“No.” I slipped my phone inside my bag. “Revenge would be me fucking the best man.”

Sierra’s mouth dropped open. I grinned. “Relax. I already did that can’t do it again.”

“KEMA!”

I chuckled as I headed toward the door. Maybe that joke was in poor taste.

But at least I was laughing now. Four days.

That was plenty of time. I just needed to find one attractive, emotionally stable man willing to spend a week drinking margaritas on a beach in Mexico. How hard could that possibly be?

Later that night..