10. Arenwen
10
ARENWEN
T he stone beneath my knees has grown warm from the rising sun. My hair spills down my back as I kneel in the small courtyard, head bowed in supplication. Birds call in the distance, but I focus inward, reaching for that familiar connection to the divine.
"Great goddess of mercy," I begin, my voice carrying just enough to reach the open window above where I know Kai lurks. He's just come back from an early training session. "Grant me the strength to weather the storm that approaches." My fingers trace patterns in the dirt as I continue my daily ritual. "And to the god of shadow, I offer my surrender."
A subtle shift in the air tells me I have his attention. The words spill from my lips with practiced grace, but today I let a tremor enter my voice. "I feel the shadows growing stronger, pressing closer. Show me how to embrace them rather than fear their touch."
My heart pounds against my ribs as I venture further. "There is darkness in him that calls to something in me. Guide me through these waters, help me understand why I yearn to know its depths." The confession burns my throat, too close to truths I'd rather not examine.
A whisper of wing movement confirms my audience. I press my palms flat against the ground, bowing lower. "I offer myself as a vessel for whatever trials you deem necessary. Let his darkness find sanctuary in me."
The words feel dangerous, like drawing blood in a beast-filled forest. But there's power in this too - in choosing to voice these thoughts, in letting him hear my private struggles. I sense his growing tension, the way my prayers affect him more than he wants to admit.
"Grant me wisdom to navigate this path," I murmur, "and courage to face what lies in the shadows of his soul." My fingers curl into the dirt. "For I find myself drawn to those very shadows, even as they threaten to consume me."
The air grows thick with unspoken tension. I remain still, letting my words hang in the silence between us, knowing they'll burrow under his skin and take root in his thoughts.
The morning sun streams through the courtyard as I finish my prayers, but my thoughts drift from devotion to something far more dangerous. Rising from my knees, I brush the dust from my skirts and am not surprised to see Kai is already gone. I head inside to prepare his meal.
My fingers brush his as I hand him the steaming cup of spiced tea. His violet eyes narrow at the contact, muscles tensing beneath his leather vest. I hold his gaze a heartbeat longer than necessary before looking down.
"Thank you, little flame." His voice carries that familiar edge of control.
I linger near his chair instead of retreating to my usual corner. "The tea leaves came from the market yesterday. I hoped you'd enjoy the blend."
His wings shift, the ash-gray feathers rustling. "You went to the market?"
"With the guards you assigned." Because I am not regularly guarded. I had to seek these ones out.
I move behind his chair, letting my hand trail across his shoulder. The leather is warm beneath my fingers. "I thought about what you might like."
He doesn't pull away, but his entire frame goes rigid. "Did you now?"
"Yes." I continue past him to adjust the curtains, hyper-aware of his predatory gaze following my movements. "I've learned to notice things about you."
A low laugh rumbles in his chest. "Dangerous game you're playing, little flame."
"Not a game." I turn to face him, summoning my courage. "I see how you keep everyone at arm's length. Even your closest advisors."
His jaw tightens. "And you think you understand why?"
"I think I'd like to." I step closer, close enough to catch the scent of leather and magic that clings to him. "You don't have to be alone in your darkness."
His wings spread slightly, casting shadows across the floor. "You should be careful what you wish for, Aren."
But he doesn't move away when I reach out to straighten the collar of his vest, my fingers lingering against the warm skin of his neck. His pulse jumps beneath my touch.
"Maybe I'm tired of being careful." I hold his gaze, watching the violet of his eyes intensify. "Maybe there's more to you than the monster you pretend to be."
His jaw flexes at my boldness, but he allows me to step into his space. The leather straps of his armor are complex - a warrior's protection designed to defend against both blade and magic. My fingers work at the first buckle near his shoulder.
"I didn't ask for your help." His wings shift, creating a shadowed cocoon around us.
"You never do." The metal clasp releases with a soft click. "But I've watched you struggle with these after training."
His breath catches as my fingers slide beneath the leather to find the next fastening. The heat of his skin bleeds through his thin undershirt. I focus on my task, pretending not to notice how his muscles cord beneath my touch.
"Careful, little flame." His voice drops lower, rougher. "You're playing with fire."
The chest piece loosens. I circle behind him, working at the straps along his sides. His wings adjust to allow me access, the ash-gray feathers brushing against my arms. But I want more.
"Perhaps I've grown fond of burns." My fingers tremble slightly as I release another buckle. The heavy leather shifts, and he rolls his shoulders.
Working my way back around, I reach for the final clasp near his throat. His hand captures my wrist, grip firm but not painful. Violet eyes bore into mine, searching for something I'm not sure I'm ready to name.
"What game are you playing?" His thumb traces circles on my pulse point.
"No game." I hold his gaze steady. "Just tired of pretending I don't see past your armor - both kinds."
He releases my wrist slowly, allowing me to unfasten the last buckle. The chest piece comes away in my hands, heavy with the weight of enchanted metal and leather. His undershirt clings to his torso, damp with sweat from training.
My fingers brush his collarbone as I step back, and his sharp intake of breath echoes in the quiet room. The air between us feels charged, like the moment before lightning strikes.
"There," I whisper. "That wasn't so terrible, was it?"
His wings curl forward slightly, the tips nearly brushing my shoulders. "Terrible isn't the word I'd choose."
I take a step back, intending to retreat with his armor. His hand shoots out, fingers circling my wrist. The grip isn't painful, but it's firm enough to root me in place. Heat radiates from where his skin meets mine.
"What do you want?" His violet eyes bore into me, searching for deception. His wings create a dark canopy above us, blocking out the morning light streaming through the windows.
My throat constricts as I swallow. "I want to help you."
A harsh laugh escapes him, echoing off the stone walls. "Help me?" His grip tightens fractionally. "You think you can save my soul, little flame? Redeem the monster?"
"Maybe not." I force myself to meet his gaze despite the intensity burning there. "But I still want to help."
His other hand comes up to brush a strand of hair from my face, the gesture at odds with the predatory stillness of his body. "Such a dangerous little prayer warrior you've become. First offering yourself to the darkness, now thinking you can tame it?"
"Not tame." I lean into his touch, watching his pupils dilate. "Understand. Share. There's a difference."
His wings shift closer, the ash-gray feathers creating shadows that dance across my skin. "Understanding darkness tends to corrupt the ones who try."
"Then let it." The words slip out before I can stop them, hanging in the air between us.
His fingers trail down my cheek to grip my chin. "Careful what you wish for, little flame. Some corruptions can't be undone."
"I know what I'm asking." Even as my heart pounds against my ribs, I hold steady under his scrutiny. "I've watched you push everyone away. Build walls with cruelty and control. But I see past them now." I lean a little closer. "I want to understand it all."
The muscle in his jaw ticks. His grip hasn't loosened on my wrist, keeping me anchored in this moment of truth between us.