20. Arenwen
20
ARENWEN
I run my fingers along the dark wooden shelves, gathering dust as I move methodically through Kai's library. The leather-bound volumes stand at attention, their spines a testament to centuries of tactical knowledge. A smile tugs at my lips as I notice how he's arranged them - not alphabetically, but by battle strategy. Even his books must bow to his need for control.
The morning light filters through the high windows, catching dust motes that dance in the air. I've already polished the weapons in the training room until they gleamed, arranged the scrolls in his study just so, and ensured the kitchen sparkles. My hands never stop moving, driven by an urge to make everything perfect.
"He's changing," I whisper to myself, remembering how his violet eyes had softened when he sought me out yesterday afternoon after snapping. I don't think he really wants to push me away. He just doesn't know how to handle my devotion. True submission where I don't break, I just give.
I pause at his favorite chair, smoothing the dark leather. The size of it emphasizes how small I am in comparison, yet lately he's been careful with that strength. Not gentle - Kai will never be gentle - but different.
Moving to the dining room, I arrange the heavy curtains to let in just enough light to catch the polished surface of the table where I serve his meals. My reflection stares back at me from the wood - waves of dark hair falling loose around my face, the simple dress he provided clinging to my frame.
"Little flame," I mouth his words, testing how they feel on my lips. The nickname used to feel like another chain. Now it warms me, even as I recognize the danger in that warmth.
I straighten a candlestick that's barely out of place, my movements becoming more precise as I sense the approaching hour of his return. The wards around the townhouse hum with protective magic, and I've learned to feel their rhythm, to know when they shift to admit their master.
Every surface gleams, every item rests exactly where it should be. Like a shrine waiting for its god - but I'm no longer sure if I'm preparing this perfection for his satisfaction or my own need to draw him closer.
A courier delivers a small scroll while I'm arranging flowers in the dining room. My fingers tremble as I unroll the parchment, recognizing Gabriel's precise handwriting immediately. The words blur before my eyes.
I found a way. Just give me time. I'm coming. -G
I press the paper to my chest, heart pounding against my ribs. Gabriel's determination bleeds through every carefully chosen word - I can almost see him hunched over the message, his blonde hair falling forward as he planned every detail.
But something inside me has shifted, like sand resettling after a storm. The thought of leaving makes my stomach twist. I sink into one of the heavy dining chairs, the scroll crumpling in my grip.
I need to end this now, before Gabriel risks everything. Before he throws his life away trying to save someone who no longer wants saving. The realization burns worse than any of Kai's early cruelties.
Taking a deep breath, I pen my response to Gabriel on a fresh piece of parchment.
I cannot leave. I'm choosing to stay. Do not risk your life for someone who no longer needs saving. -A
I fold the note carefully, seal it with wax, and slip out into the morning air. The streets of New Solas stretch before me, no guards blocking my path. My steps whisper against the cobblestones as I make my way to the markets where I know I can get this note to Gabriel.
The city pulses with life around me - winged warriors soaring overhead, merchants calling their wares, the scent of spiced meats and fresh bread drifting from market stalls.
I could disappear into any of these crowded streets. Could blend in with the other human servants going about their duties. Could find my way to the city gates and beyond.
I spot the delivery man that brought me my first note near the market stalls, his face half-hidden beneath a hood as he drops off boxes of fruit for the merchants. His fingers pause on a blood-red apple when I approach.
"Aren." His voice barely carries over the market's bustle. "What are you doing here?"
I press the sealed note into his calloused palm. "For Gabriel. Please."
His dark eyes search mine, looking for signs of coercion or fear. I understand the uncertainty, but still, I won't back down. I know that leaving Kai is not what I need - and not just because I want to care for him. But because I want him.
"Are you certain?" His fingers close around the message. "We could-"
"I'm where I need to be." The words come out stronger than intended. A nearby merchant's wings flare in warning at my tone, and I lower my voice. "Just make sure he gets it."
"As you wish." He tucks the note into his sleeve. His shoulders straighten with purpose, and I hope that Gabriel will understand.
The walk home feels endless as I try to get back before Kai. I never really know when he'll be done. It makes me feel anxious, hoping he doesn't get back and assume the worst.
I pause in the townhouse's courtyard, my hand pressed against the wall where Kai's protective wards pulse beneath my fingers. The magic recognizes me now, warming against my skin instead of warning me away.
My chest tightens as I think of Gabriel reading my words. His faith in me has always been absolute - the orphaned boy who became my protector, my brother in all but blood. But Kai...
Kai sees me differently. Not as something to shelter, but as something to possess, to worship in his own dark way. And I am surprised by how much I've come to care for that.
I slip inside, the wards embracing me like a lover's touch. The morning's tasks await - weapons to polish, rooms to order, a thousand small rituals that stopped being about servitude long ago. Each one is a prayer now, offered not in submission but in choice.