Vol 1, Chapter 7 #2
“Before I address that nonsense, did you or did you not meet my son Mark when you arrived?” Bennet demanded and Collins nodded weakly.
“Did you hear me say that my heir was away at university?” Bennet waited and received another weak nod.
“Then how in that tiny brain of yours would you think that even if I were to fail in my duty as her father and allow my Jane to marry you, that you would ever be master here?” Bennet thundered.
“B-because L-Lady C-Catherine said it w-w-would be s-so,” Collins replied, regaining some measure of assurance as she had told him it would be so.
“You revere your patroness?” Bennet interrogated Collins further and received the expected nod, this one emphatic.
“It seems you revere her more than you do God as you travelled on the Sabbath. Do you know that your wise patroness is considered a joke among polite society? She was never educated but thinks she is all wise and all knowing, when in fact she is an officious busybody who is more ignorant than you are!” Collins looked scandalised on behalf of his patroness, but wisely held his tongue.
“These are the terms of your completing your stay here, Mr. Collins. You will not approach my daughters nor are you to attempt to engage them in conversation unless they first approach you. Under no circumstances will you try and offer for or compromise any of them. You already know what will happen if you do,” Bennet pointed to the foils that were in the corner of his study to make his point.
“You will bathe every day while you are here, and lastly, you will not mention your patroness. If you cannot abide by these rules, I will be happy to have your trunk and you moved to the Red Lion Inn in Meryton. Will you follow my rules?”
“Yes, Cousin Bennet. I will not break any of your rules.” Was Collins’ sullen answer.
“As far as your being a clergyman, you know your rank is just above a tradesman, do you not?” Bennet asked, and almost grinned when he saw the look of horror Collins sported.
“Did they not teach you at the seminary that a clergyman is meant to serve his parishioners, not the other way around? You were taught, were you not, that God is the ultimate authority, and not some puffed up self-important lady?”
“If it is all the same to you, I will take a tray in my chambers this evening. I have a lot on which to think,” Collins stood and exited the study, his world spinning about his head.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
The next day, Wickham strutted down the main street thinking about how well he looked in his scarlet coat. He entered the tailor’s store knowing that he needed some new clothing for when he would need to escape angry fathers and creditors, as it inevitably would be required.
The tailor, Mr. Gibbs, was happy to measure the officer. Once all of the decisions had been made and styles selected, the order was very substantial given the number of items included. “That will be forty-three pounds sixpence please, Mr. Wickham,” the tailor asked politely.
“Put it on my account,” Wickham stated with his usual bravado.
“You do not have an account here, Sir.”
“Open one for me, then it will not be an issue!” Wickham attempted to gain what he desired using the same commanding tone he believed all men of wealth used.
“Not knowing your experience in other locales, I will inform you, Mr. Wickham, that no merchant offers accounts in Meryton unless the person is a long-time resident of the area with a solid history of financial stability. We know of far too many fellow merchants who have lost their livelihood over unpaid debts,” Gibbs informed the man.
“In that case, I will take my custom elsewhere!” Wickham stormed out of the store in a petulant huff.
After a further two hours, Wickham was truly frustrated.
Not one of the merchants would open an account for him, all telling him a version of the reason the tailor had stated when he had been denied.
How would he live in this town where he would have to pay for everything with blunt?
What if merchants in other towns started to do the same thing?
It would make his life infinitely harder.
‘This is all that prig Darcy’s fault! If he had given me my due, I would not have to beg like a pauper! ’ Wickham told himself.
He ignored inconvenient truths like how he had wasted four thousand pounds, did nothing with his university education, and neither took orders nor read the law.
He had it in his power to change his stars, but that was too much effort for him.
He was determined to make his fortune without working for it.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“Darcy, will you ride with me to Longbourn? I am to deliver the invitation to the ball in person,” Bingley beseeched his friend.
Darcy’s mind was split. On the one hand, he would see Miss Elizabeth, and he was interested in seeing the Bennet’s house as he had picked up on some contradictory signals regarding their wealth.
The problem was raising expectations. Even were they a little wealthier than he thought, they still had no connections of note.
Just then Miss Bingley piped up and decided the issue for Darcy. “Do not make poor Mr. Darcy visit such nobodies at their hovel. Louisa and I are here, we will be happy to entertain our friend.”
“Wait, Bingley, I will ride with you. Allow me to go and change, and I will meet you at the stables in half an hour,” Darcy told his friend as he stood and left the drawing room before the shrew had a chance to react.
Miss Bingley’s eyes narrowed as she watched him leave, most unhappy that her Mr. Darcy would be in the company of that chit Eliza Bennet once more.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Charlotte Lucas arrived at Longbourn at the agreed upon time to meet her friends before they walked into Meryton. When she entered the drawing room, there was a man dressed in all dark clothing present with whom she was not acquainted.
“Welcome, Charlotte. This is our cousin Mr. Collins of Hunsford in Kent. Mr. Collins, Miss Charlotte Lucas of Lucas Lodge, our closest neighbour,” Mrs. Bennet made the introduction.
“I am pleased to meet you, Miss Lucas,” Collins stood and bowed low. As he appraised her, Collins noted that she was not a beauty like his off-limit cousins, but she did seem like a modest lady—one of his patroness’s criteria for his wife.
“And you, Mr. Collins,” Charlotte responded with a curtsy.
“We are off to Meryton with Charlotte, Mama,” Jane reminded her mother.
“Mark will be with us as he has completed his lessons.” Seeing the forlorn look on their cousin’s face, who assumed that he would be excluded, Jane took a modicum of pity on him.
“We will have a footman with us as an escort, but if you would like, you are welcome to walk into the Town as well, Mr. Collins.”
“I thank you, Miss Bennet, I would enjoy that,” Collins gave his cousin one of his low bows.
Once everyone had their outerwear, Jane and Elizabeth took the lead followed by Esther and Mark. The footman was between the former pair and Charlotte and Mr. Collins at the rear.
“Jane! Why did you invite that foolish man along?” Elizabeth whispered.
“I took pity on him, Lizzy. You have naught to concern yourself with. He knows Papa’s rules, and besides, now we are an even number of walkers!” Jane rationalised. Elizabeth huffed but made no further comment.
“My friend mentioned that you were granted a living soon after taking orders, Mr. Collins. It is a credit to you as most new clergymen start out in a curacy,” Charlotte noted as they walked side by side.
“It was good fortune, Miss Lucas. By happenstance, my patroness, the wise and beneficent Lady Catherine de Bourgh, asked the bishop at my seminary to send her some candidates who had taken orders, and I was the one that the great lady selected.” Collins looked to make sure that his cousins were out of earshot, for he did not want his cousin to make good on his threat and evict him from Longbourn.
Knowing the Bennets as well as she did, Charlotte Lucas knew all about Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
However, following her own philosophy on marriage, she was willing to put up with much to secure a husband and a home of her own.
Her bigger fear by far was that she was rapidly becoming a burden to her family.
“It sounds like you have a truly excellent situation there, Mr. Collins. I am sure that Mrs. Collins is proud to be your wife,” Charlotte prodded.
“There is no Mrs. Collins, to my chagrin. I am in a bind. My patroness instructed me to return a betrothed man, if not actually married, and my cousins are not available to me. I am adrift as I do not desire to lose my patroness’s condescension by disobeying her.
She does not like to have her orders countermanded, not at all. ” The man looked genuinely distressed.
Charlotte decided that it was time to take the horse, lead him to the water, and make sure that he drank.
“There is a solution before you, Mr. Collins. I am looking to marry a respectable man who has a home for me to keep, and you need to be betrothed when you return to your patroness. I have never been romantic like your cousins, so I propose a situation that will solve both of our dilemmas.” Charlotte surprised herself at her forwardness, but she made the calculation that at her age and with no prospects, it was what she had to do.
“You are agreeing to marry me, Miss Lucas?” Collins asked. He was so surprised that a solution his problem with his patroness had fallen into his lap in such a fashion that he missed that he never actually proposed to the lady.
“May I ask how old you are, Mr. Collins?”
“I am five and twenty, and yourself, Miss Lucas?”