Chapter Five
Two Hours Later
Jace
The meal was delicious. We’ve finished the fish, assorted vegetables, and fruit; now, we’re on to the dessert. The waitress smiles as she deposits the chocolate cake onto the table in front of me.
“This is pure perfection,” my sister-in-law groans as the scent of chocolate fills the area around us.
“It’s compliments of the chef.”
“Please tell him thank you.”
Once the waitress leaves, Carly clutches her stomach. “But I can’t eat another bite.”
“Now, dear.” My brother pats her hand. “You’ve sacrificed for two months to enjoy this trip. I expect you to overindulge.”
“Fine. You’re on.” Her eyes twinkle as she grabs the fancy blue and white dessert plate and serves herself a heaping slice of cake. “Help yourselves.”
My sister-in-law is gorgeous, an older version of her daughter. My gaze drifts to Zoe and just as quickly darts away. She’s like staring into the sun. Too bright. Too fucking bright. I don’t know how to live in that much light.
“We were interrupted earlier.” Carly pats her lips with the black linen napkin. “Tell us about your latest dating adventures.”
“I already told you; I’m not dating anyone.” My shoulders stiffen as I prepare for the 20 questions.
“How is it even possible that you’re not dating anyone? You’re in Vegas and working at a nightclub. There can’t be a lack of available women with long legs, dark tans, and blonde hair.” My brother pins me with an exasperated expression on his face. The man is clearly irritated that I haven’t moved in the settling down direction. Not that he’s wrong. There are plenty of women that fit that description. “Surely you can find one woman that interests you enough to date.”
“Do we have to hear about this?” Zoe taps her fingernails on the table. “Zayden has already grilled Jace tonight about his sex life, and I don’t want to hear about it while I’m eating dessert. It’s going to make me ill.” Thankfully, Zorya has headed off to play with some other children, so she’s not subjected to this conversation.
“Fine.” Her mom arches her eyebrows, leaving a crease in the middle of her forehead. “Are you still seeing Micah?”
Who the fuck is Micah? My teeth grind together as red, hot anger flows through me.
I’m well aware that there’s zero chance of a relationship between me and Zoe for more reasons than I can count. But Micah? That’s a stupid name. He sounds like a pussy.
“No. I’m not dating Micah. That was over months ago.”
I’m going to stab someone. I drop my fork so that no one notices the death grip I had on it.
“Good.” Carly stabs her fork into the cake. “It looks like neither you nor Jace are seeing anyone, which will make it easier for us to pair you up together for the activities we have planned for this week.”
“Planned activities?” Jesus. My brother has lost his mind. I can’t spend a week hanging out with Zoe without losing my mind. It’s bad enough that we’re sharing a bungalow together.
Zayden. I can hang out with Zayden. I glance over at him as he furiously stabs his index finger on his phone screen with a worried expression.
Before I can say anything, Zoe pipes up., “I’ll go with Zayden.” She sets down her napkin as if she’s the queen and everyone should listen to her edict.
Shit, we can’t both hang out with Zayden. That defeats the whole purpose of staying away from her.
“No.” Her mother shakes her head. “Zayden is paired with Violet.”
“Where is Violet?” Zoe glances around the table with a furrowed brow. Violet is the daughter of one of Landon and Carly’s friends.
“She headed out to check out the bar scene,” Landon says.
“Why can’t I be paired with Violet and Zayden paired with Jace?” Of course, she doesn’t want to spend an extra second with me.
“Yes, that sounds like a solid idea,” I nod in agreement.
Zoe turns her head slightly toward me and glares. “Bite me.”
“That’s not going to work for what we have planned.” Carly places her hands on the table. “I promise. This will not be as bad as you’re both making it out to be.”
“Fine.” Zoe turns back toward her mother, takes a deep breath, and lowers her shoulders. “We’ll make it work.” She shrugged. “I survived passing a kidney stone after two weeks of excruciating pain. How bad can a few hours with Jace be?”
Landon slices his fork into the piece of cake in front of him and holds it in front of Carly. “Here, love, have some more cake.” And that’s the end of the conversation as their attention shifts from us to each other.
“Seriously? Spending time with me is as bad as passing a kidney stone.” That red, hot anger turns molten as it radiates from my head down to my feet and back up until my hands are fisted at my side. Knowing she hates me is one thing. Having it tossed in my face is too much.
Shit. It’s my fault she hates me. Why am I taking it out on her?
“Ple-e-ease.” She rolls her eyes and faces me in an attempt to keep our conversation as private as possible. “You don’t want to spend time with me either.” Her eyes are watery from the alcohol she’s drank. “You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
“It’s not like that.” I swallow over the lump in my throat. Do I come clean and tell her everything?
“Never mind.” She turns away from me, lifts her wine glass to her lips, and sucks down half of the contents.
“You should slow down so you don’t get sick.”
“Like you care.” She finishes the drink and sets the glass back down. It teeters sideways, and she grabs it, steadying it into an upright position before it falls.
“I do care.” I care too fucking much, but what good does it do? I’m not good enough for her. I don’t have anything to offer her. I’m too old for her. We’re step-uncle and niece, for God’s sakes. Those are the simple things that could be worked around.
Her father. He’s the immovable force that neither of us can work around. And the second he finds out we’re spending the week together; he’s going to snap and blame me for everything.
The last time we were in the Caribbean, he made his position crystal clear. He accused me of trying to get close to Zoe, so she’d push him to sign me to a record contract. And he hated people who tried to manipulate him into doing anything. Especially no-talent, drug addict losers.
It didn’t matter if what he said wasn’t true. He believed it and was adamant that if I so much as looked Zoe’s way again, he’d destroy my career. My future. And if that wasn’t enough, he threatened to destroy Zoe as well.
So, I shoved her away and refused to look back. I didn’t care about myself. Then or now. But I wouldn’t be the reason her dreams didn’t come true.
“Don’t lie to me. You voiced your opinion of me two years ago. I realize I’m still a child in your opinion, but I know when someone cares about me and when someone doesn’t.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and the need to kiss her until the spark returns to her eyes is an overwhelming force.
My fingers itch to touch her as strongly as my brain needs to mix phrases and beats. Needed to mix phrases and beats. I’ve snuffed out that desire because writing music is a stupid waste of time when the results will never see the light of day.
Fletcher was right about some things. I was a drug addict with no future. I didn’t have anything to offer her. And with nearly ten years of rejection under my belt, it was time I stopped fooling myself into thinking I could make it in the music industry. I wasn’t good enough.
She swirls her head toward me and topples sideways. When she lands against me, my body stills, and time stops. Her hand rests on my thigh and her breasts are plastered against my chest. She licks her lips as her eyes dart to mine.
The room is silent as if everyone is holding their collective breath. There are no utensils clanging. Or customers moving. The world ceases to spin outside of us. What would happen if I kissed her? Would the ground shake? Or would I burn in hell?
“Sorry.” She cringes and shoves off me, landing back into her chair. Her face burns a bright red from the alcohol and embarrassment. “I think I drank too much tonight.”
The room explodes back to life as if the moment never occurred.
“It’s fine.” I swipe my hands on my shorts to erase the sweat that’s built up on my palms over the last few minutes.
“No, it’s not.” Her eyes gleam with unshed tears. “I’m acting like a baby.”
“No, you’re not.” I grab her shoulder and rub my thumb along the silken cover-up as a zap of electricity shoots up my arm and straight to my heart. It’s as if now that we’ve touched, I can’t stop. “I’m sorry I blew you off and ignored you for the last two years.” I can’t tell her the truth, but living with the wedge between us is killing me. “It was wrong and inexcusable.” I drag my hand from her shoulder and rake it through my hair. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but….”
“But what?”
‘It’s not my fault’ sounds like a juvenile excuse and leaves me laying the blame at someone else’s feet. It was my choice. I went along with what her father said. He told me to leave her alone, so I did. I wanted to pretend we never had that moment at the bonfire where I saw our future together flash before my eyes. Laughing and talking all night. Singing to her. Sneaking touches. Kissing in the moonlight. Making love under the stars.
But it all went up in smoke before it began, and it’s all my fault. I was the one who spent all those years chasing a dream I couldn’t reach. I was the one who did coke and drank to wash down the pain of rejection. There’s no one else to blame but myself.
When I don’t speak, her eyes narrow into slits. “Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
“I’ve not found someone I’m interested in spending the rest of my life with.” It’s partly the truth. No one else holds my attention.
“Because of her.”
“Who?”
“Samantha.”
“No.” Lord, when was the last time I thought about Samantha? Three years? Four? It’s been forever. We were never good together. We were toxic and dramatic. Fighting. Making up. Accusing each other of cheating.
I never did but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t dreaming of Zoe and wishing life was different. Even then, I was obsessed with her. Samantha sensed the shift in my interest the second I came back from a family visit after Zoe turned 18 and went out of her way to get back at me. By stealing our bassist and convincing him to leave the band.
“Whatever.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder, exposing the silken flesh of her neck, and I want to bury my face there and devour her. Take in her scent. Lose myself in something good for once.
“I haven’t seen her in four years, and I’m not pining away for her.” I lift the glass of water and sip the ice-cold drink, letting it soothe my nerves. I’d rather have whiskey, but when I went to rehab, I stopped both alcohol and drugs. I’d rather have a clear mind when facing life.
“Then why aren’t you seeing anyone?”
“Again, I’ve not found anyone that I’m interested in, and my focus has been on my recovery. When I went to rehab, they recommended I go two years without a relationship, and I’m glad I did. It gave me time to find out who I am and gave me a strong foundation for my future.”
She blinks and swallows hard. “Shit. I’m sorry I was acting like a bitch.” She places her fingers on my forearm, and heat surges inside of me. “I’m glad you went to rehab. That was brave of you.” Her gaze darts to her empty wine glass. “I’m sorry I was drinking in front of you.”
“Don’t worry about drinking in front of me. It’s not a big deal. I work in a nightclub, so I’m around people who drink every day.” I swallow over the lump in my throat. “Thank you. I….” I did it for you. The words need to remain unsaid. I clear my throat. “I’m in a better place now.”
“How can you be in a better place if you aren’t singing?”
“Singing wasn’t going anywhere, and I was wasting my life. I’m happier now.”
“Are you?” The question in her eyes makes my gut cramp. Am I happier? If I go back to singing, will it lead back to drugs? To partying? To toxic relationships? To a lack of purpose? I don’t want those things.
“Yes.” I clasp her hand and hold it inside of mine. “I’m happier without it. I have a steady job, and my team looks up to me. I’m in a good place.”
“Okay.” She smiles weakly. “Then, I’m happy for you. I can’t be mad because the world is missing your voice when it’s not the best thing for you.”
“Zoe?” Zayden’s voice interrupts our conversation, and my heart skips a beat. I scoot my chair back to put additional distance between us. Being close to her has me forgetting that I can’t have her.
“Yes?” She blinks, drops her hand to her side, and looks over at her brother.
“We need to talk.”
“Okay.” She stands and disappears with Zayden.
Shit. Did it look like we were…. I need to stay in control. No more moments of raw intimacy.