Chapter Fifteen
Jace
“Yes, we did.” Her eyes glisten with laughter and excitement, sending an adrenaline rush straight to my groin. Not that it needs any more attention as it is. “We had so much fun that weekend.”
Her eyes meet mine, and my heart lodges in my throat. It’s my fault we stopped having fun. I couldn’t handle my feelings for her and ended up pushing her away. It’s time I manned up and did the right thing. “Let’s enjoy this week. I miss spending time with you.”
She nibbles her bottom lip. “I miss you, too. I don’t remember ever laughing that hard unless it was with Daisy when we were up late eating junk food and drinking energy drinks.”
I chuckle at the thought of the two of them together. Even though I’ve avoided Zoe, I’ve not forgotten what a bond they had together. Fun. Lighthearted. Thick as thieves. I never had anyone like that in my life.
“You said Daisy was busy this weekend?” I sit sideways and rest my arm on the back of the sofa.
Her eyes darken. “I left her behind this week for her sister’s wedding.”
I frown, trying to remember the sister. “Isn’t she the high-maintenance one that always asked Daisy to do things for her?”
“Asked?” Zoe snorts and leans forward. “She doesn’t ask. She demands. And Daisy doesn’t bat an eye. It drives me crazy. I hate seeing her pushed around, but she doesn’t even see it, or at least she doesn’t want to see it.”
“Hates to see friends taken advantage of.” I nod like I’m taking down notes.
“Excellent.” She grins as her eyes crinkle at the corners. “We’ve got this.”
“Alright, keep going.” I grab a wedge of the deli-style cranberry turkey sandwich off the platter and hand it to her. “Turkey and cranberries?”
“My favorite.” She snatches it away from me and bites into a corner. The way her eyes roll into her head brings me to my knees.
Yes, I know. “Is it?”
“Yes,” she says over her mouthful of the fruit. “Everything here is so good. I can’t believe they have such amazing chefs.” She shoves the sandwich toward my face. “I mean, look at this. It takes great skill to make a killer turkey sandwich.”
“Yes, it does.” I grab one for myself and dig in. I’ve missed her sharp sense of humor.
As she fills me in on Daisy’s life, she gives me snippets of her own. They’re both single. Daisy is retaking calculus, and Zoe is joining her as moral support. Who does that? Only someone who’s loyal to a fault. She wants her best friend to meet the man of her dreams, get banged until her eyes are crossed, and live happily ever after.
“And you?” I swallow hard. What in the fuck? I didn’t ask that, did I? Her face is red. Yes, I did, and I don’t want to know. What if there’s some guy she’s pining for back home? I don’t want to know.
Her eyes drop to her lap. “I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me.”
Get back to a safer topic. There’s no doubt her father gave her marching orders to stay away from me. And as much as I can’t stand the man, I don’t want to cause issues between them. So, I’ll stay away until I get the chance to speak with him and prove that I’m no longer the punk kid he thinks I am.
“Back to the test. The list gives us some ideas, but Elise made a big deal about the questions being randomly selected, so I don’t think it’ll strictly follow the list she gave us.” I shrug. “The test might not cover any of these questions.”
“It’s the best place to start.” She snatches the paper off the table and crinkles her nose. “So…. What’re you afraid of?”
“Spiders.”
“Bullshit.” She leans toward me and playfully cuffs my shoulder.
I snatch her hand without thinking and hold it inside my own. She feels perfect there. Small. Dainty. Her pulse thumps against my fingertips. “Fine, I’ll be serious. I’m afraid that one day I’ll wake up and realize I was a pussy and never did the things I wanted with my life.”
Her eyes never leave mine as the air in the room snaps with possibility. If I kissed her, would she let me? I swallow, and for the first time, I wish I had an excuse. If I was drunk, it wouldn’t matter. I could kiss her and take her to bed and have a built-in excuse if she wore up horrified of what she’d done. I was drunk. It was nothing. I wasn’t in control of myself. But I don’t lean on the bottle to get through life anymore.
She licks her lips. “What do you regret?”
I regret letting your dad bully me and not take what I wanted. “I regret all the years I wasted being aimless and trashed. I wasted a lot of time and got nowhere.”
“Do you miss the music?” My gut twists, and I blink. Shit. What’s wrong with me? She dislodges my hand from hers and cups my cheek. “You were an amazing talent, and I’ll never understand why someone didn’t pick you up. Why my dad didn’t pick you up.”
“Thank you.” The lump in my throat is so thick I can barely swallow over it. Until this second, I didn’t realize how much I missed it or how much I needed to hear her praise.
“Why did you stop?” Her thumb brushes over the stubble on my cheek. I snatch her hand, but instead of letting go, I kiss the back of it. The flash of desire in her eyes is like a medicine ball to my gut. We’re alone at a resort with no one to tell us we can’t be together. At least while we’re inside of these walls. I lean forward.
She tips her chin upward and narrows her eyes. “Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why did you stop singing and writing songs?”
“Shit.” I drop her hand and launch off the sofa, pacing between my bedroom door and the coffee table. “I quit because I needed to get clean. I was wallowing in self-pity from the endless push to get somewhere but never actually achieving anything. I was dulling the pain.” Fuck. I rake a hand through my hair. The pull to drink is intense but not as vivid as it used to be.
“That’s understandable.”
“No, it isn’t.” I bite the words out with more intensity than I intended. She shrinks into the cushions, but I don’t stop. “I was weak and should’ve had the balls to take rejection like a man.”
“And you haven’t sung or written since you stopped?” She climbs off the sofa, and my eyes stray to her legs. They’re tan, long, and tempting. More tempting than the alcohol and drugs ever were.
Fuck. Why are we having this conversation? I’d rather fuck her instead. But leave it to her to know that. “Yes, I haven’t touched my guitar since, and I’ve only sung stupid kid’s songs to Zorya since.”
“And writing?” She looks at me with pity in her eyes, and it pisses me off.
“Never.” I shake my head. “I haven’t written a word. I can’t because somewhere along the line, I needed to be under the influence to write lyrics and match them with chords. They’re interconnected. I can’t do one without the other.”
She stops in front of me and cups my face. I stand motionless as the beauty of her heart drowns everything else out.
“You sell yourself short. You’re better than that. You aren’t drugs and alcohol and never were. You’re a beautiful musician, and I miss hearing you sing.” Her eyes glisten with tears. “And your words….” She shakes her head. “Your words spoke to my heart. I used to listen to your music on repeat. Just to hear your voice.”
I slam my mouth against her and thrust her back into the wall. Her hands fist my hair, yanking on the strands while meeting me lunge for lunge as our tongues war together with a desperation I’ve never felt. It’s surreal. But like alcohol, one kiss is never going to be enough and two will destroy her. I don’t care what it does to me. I’m a dead man as it is.
Except now that I’m touching her, I can’t stop. I wrap my arms around her and drown. She’s better than any drug or shot of whiskey I’ve ever drank. Her nails dig into my skull, sending me on a high that drugs could never equal. This one touch is the most exquisite thing I’ve ever experienced, and I never want it to end. She whimpers, and my dick twitches as I suck her breath into my mouth, desperate for more.
Want. Need. Desire. They all swirl inside of me demanding that I take everything that’s been denied for so long.
“Jace,” she says against my lips.
I blink and lean back. Her gorgeous eyes stare into mine as she licks her plump lips. “Your phone.”
“What?”
“Your phone is ringing.”
“Right.” I shake my head and settle back on my heels, putting distance between us.
When I drag my phone out of my pocket, rage builds inside of me. Fletcher. Son of a bitch. The world comes crashing back down. I step away from her, putting as much distance as possible between us without leaving the room. I should’ve known he’d find a way to contact me. “Yes?”
“Stay the fuck away from my daughter. You’re a no-good druggy who’s working security at a fucking sex club. My daughter is not going to marry someone like you. And you know it. Fuck? Maybe. Marry and have children with? Not on your life. She’s going to make it far in this industry. Achieve things that you can never give her. So don’t fuck that up for her.” His voice is a low growl. “Because if you do, I’ll make sure she pays for your sins.” The line snaps dead in my ear.
The muscles in my shoulders and neck scream in pain as my future is once again ripped from my grasp.
Zoe rests her hand on my forearm. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sure.” I nod and spin on my heel. “Everything is the same as always.” I grasp the doorknob. “Zoe….” I turn and face her. “I’m sorry about tonight. I wanted to kiss you. Any man who doesn’t want to kiss you is a fool.”
Jesus. Don’t think about her with other men. Just do it. Get it over with. “But it was a mistake. Go find someone else that’s worthy of you.”
Those words are the hardest words I’ve ever choked out.