Chapter Twenty-Three
Jace
Zoe, Zorya, and Carly dance in front of the fire as a local group of musicians plays an island favorite. Between watching her dance and the atmosphere of a flickering bonfire, the waves of the ocean lapping at the sand, and the twinkling stars above my head, I’ve discovered paradise. And I don’t want to leave. It sounds easy to make something work when you are miles away from reality, but we can’t stay here forever.
“Why don’t you play a song for us?” Landon stretches his legs in front of him and crosses his ankles. “I’ve missed hearing your voice.”
“You heard me a few days ago when I sang to Zorya.” I shift in the Adirondack chair.
“Bullshit. That wasn’t one of your songs. Nor was it your true singing voice. You were phoning it in. Don’t you think it’s time to try again?”
My jaw tightens. “Try doing what again? Is it possible to sing and write without using? Isn’t that a bit of a risky situation to push me into? Or try and make a comeback? You know I wasn’t ever good enough.”
He launches upright from his prone position in the wooden lounge chair and spins to face me as the rest of the beach enjoy themselves, oblivious to our heated conversation. “You’re good enough. You were always good enough. That’s why it drove me crazy that you let the rest of the band drag you into their bullshit and floundered with them. They weren’t any good. They didn’t have the talent you did, and they were too focused on partying to get any better. And I don’t think you need drugs and alcohol to sing and write.”
“How do you know?” Granted I wrote lyrics this afternoon without any issues. But none of us are carrying crystal balls. Why risk it?
“I know because you sang and wrote from when you were eight years old. And outside of drinking too much milk, you were good.”
I roll my eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood. Anxiety and adrenaline swirl inside of me. What happens if I pick up a guitar and sing again, only to get sucked into oblivion again? Or find out that I am washed up? Or that I never was?
I pop the fingers of one hand into the palm of the other as Zoe walks over to us with a quizzical expression on her face. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” I nod, warmed by her sensing my distress. “I’m good.”
“Tell him to pick up a guitar and sing. We’re in paradise. There’s nothing bad that’s going to happen.”
She claps her hands together and watches me. “Is that what you want? You know we’d love to hear you sing but don’t if it’s going to make you feel uncomfortable. Landon will get over it.” She turns her attention to Landon. “Won’t you?”
“Yes.” He nods. “I’ll leave it alone if he says no.” He shakes his head. “Somehow, you grew up to be an annoying woman.”
Carly laughs as she joins us. “Thank you. I believe I did a fantastic job of raising Zoe and Zorya.”
You did. I want to grab Zoe in my arms and kiss her until everyone disappears but now is not the time. We’re miles from home, and if everyone freaks out, it’s going to be a miserable last few days of our vacation.
“So, what’s going on?”
“Landon is trying to get Jace to sing for us, and as much as I’d love to hear it, the same as everyone else out here at the beach would.” She waves her hand toward the rest of the beach and smiles with an arched eyebrow. “We already heard earlier today at the spa that you’re an island favorite. However, if you don’t want to, I don’t think we should pressure you.”
“Please.” I roll my eyes at her nonsense and rise to my feet.
“Uncle Jace, you should sing.” Zorya jogs up to us with sand kicking up behind her.
One corner of her mouth arches upward. “But I happen to be one of the staff at my father’s record label, tagged with finding new talent, so it would seem silly to pass up a free opportunity.”
“You’re something else.” I rake my hand through my hair as my fingers itch to grab the guitar the musician holds in his hands. The crowd claps as they finish their number, and then, there’s silence.
“Well?” Zoe grins and motions her head toward the small area set up for the performers.
“Fine,” I sigh, but inside, the butterflies flip in excitement. I haven’t sung in front of a crowd in years.
“Yes.” Her eyes dance as she claps and runs over to the man in charge of the entertainment for the evening, begging him to let me use one of their instruments.
As she speaks, more of the crowd on the beach turns to look in our direction as some of them lean together and whisper. Sweat pops on my skin. Am I ready for this?
“I’m proud of you.” Carly pats my forearm. “This trip is as much about you as it is about us.”
My chin shoots up as I study my sister-in-law. Seriously? How much of this is orchestrated? I frown as Zoe jogs up to me, sticking out the acoustic guitar. “It’s yours to play.”
“What?”
“It’s their gift to you.” She points to the band, who’s settled into seats in preparation for listening. This is crazy.
I grasp the warm neck of the guitar, and my entire body relaxes. The weight of it feels like a missing piece of my soul. I sling the brown leather strap over my head and strum the strings. The strings are tight, and the sounds that are produced are in tune. It’s a solid instrument.
Everyone settles into the sand, chairs, or onto the haphazardly arranged wooden logs. Can I do this without using? I swallow as one of the guests sucks down a swirling straw that’s tucked into her mixed drink while another man tips his bottle of beer to his lips.
The old pull isn’t there. I don’t feel any differently than I did an hour ago. No. That’s not entirely true. I feel complete. Stronger. I feel like I’m where I belong. With Zoe. Her green eyes never leave me as she watches my every move like she’s going to swoop in and rescue me if I need it.
My heart skips a beat. I’m falling into the abyss. But it’s one I don’t want to climb out of. I want her in my corner, cheering me on. And as a reward, I want to worship her for letting me be a part of her life.
Lord, I’m a sap. I chuckle to myself and strum the guitar. It’s a good thing I’m a singer/songwriter because there’s nothing better than a lovestruck fool for writing songs, besides a heartbroken mess. Don’t think about that. We’re going to make this work.
The first words pass by my lips, and everyone drops to silence as I sing a song that I wrote in high school about wanting to find the perfect woman and living on top of the world–invincible because of her love. It was one of my favorite songs, but the rest of the band hated it. They thought it was too sappy, too cheesy, and didn’t match our vibe.
In the shadows, a couple moves closer to our group. It’s the woman and her husband that I met the first night on the island.
That song leads to another I wrote after meeting Zoe and wishing I could have something I couldn’t. Several ladies in the crowd clutch their chests and audibly sigh. But Zoe doesn’t move. She listens to every word with her head turned and her eyes watching the sky. I cringe. I’m already auditioning. Shit. I lick my lips during an instrumental section as my heart thunders in my ears.
If she thinks I’m good, can she convince Fletcher to give me a shot? Finding a new band wouldn’t be impossible. It’s not easy to find compatible people, but there are always bands searching for a lead vocalist.
Just sing. Don’t get into your head. Remember that this is your passion.
At the end of the song, I raise one hand. “I’m going to sing something that I wrote that’s never been heard. It’s rough, but I think it could be a hit.”
The words I wrote about Zoe earlier today spill from my lips and her head spins until our eyes are locked together. She bites her bottom lip and shivers as if she senses I wrote it about her. After we were together.
The second I’m done, the crowd jumps up, and Lisa, the obsessed stalker, launches herself into my arms. “That was amazing. You are amazing.” She kisses the edge of my lips as I jerk my head away from her. But that doesn’t stop her as she tosses her arms around me while throwing her tits into my face.
When her lips land on my ear, she whispers, “Room 310. Midnight. My husband wants to watch.”
“I’ll have to pass.” I push her back as cameras flash around us. Jesus. This, I don’t miss. If I get back into the game, security is a must. I’m not going down the groupie rabbit hole again.
The woman winks and stares at me hungrily. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” She trails her fingertip down my chest, and barely stopping at my shorts. “I could be your number one fan if you let me. I saw how much you wanted me that day at the beach when you couldn’t keep your hands off me.”
Zoe’s eyes harden as she turns on her heel.
Lady, you tripped me to get me to fall into you. Her husband is no help. He watches her like he loves the game as much as she does.
“Thanks.” I nod and disengage from her. “I appreciate your support, but I’m not looking for anything extra. I wasn’t that day, and I’m not tonight.”
“Too bad.” She bites her bottom lip and flips it out with a pop. “I love being shared. In all ways.”
“Good for you.” I place my hand on her shoulder and put more space between us.
“Asshole.” Her eyes narrow into slits as she steps back after finally getting the message. But by this time, Zoe had disappeared through the crowd.