Chapter 20
I ndie glanced over in surprise as the door opened without anyone knocking.
And Spencer walked in. Well, she assumed it was Spencer behind the large bunch of flowers he held.
When she’d gotten out of the bathroom, he’d been gone. And she hadn’t been sure whether he would return or not.
Yet, here he was. And her heart leapt with excitement.
Urgh.
She had issues.
Remember that they treated you like you were dirt. Dog poop on their shoes.
And you don’t owe them anything.
Not to mention that flowers just reminded her of Billy. Okay, she thought she might be sick now.
Although she noticed that the blooms were all white or pale pink. Her favorite colors. And that there was a mix of roses, lilies, gerberas, and tulips.
Someone had chosen that bunch just for her.
It didn’t make it any easier to look at them .
“The flowers are from all of us,” Spencer said as he placed a bag on the floor by the bed. “Unless you don’t like them and then they came from Quaid.”
She raised her eyebrows. He was throwing Quaid under the bus, huh?
Spencer held the flowers out to her. She stared from them to him.
“I know that you want to punish us,” he said quietly. “And so you should. Get your pound of flesh, Princess. Make us work for it. But even though you want to punish us, it’s not the flowers fault.”
“I understand what you’re saying . . . but I just don’t like flowers anymore. Billy would . . . Billy would buy me flowers after he . . .”
Keep it together, Indie.
There was silence and Spencer had grown pale.
Shaky.
“Right. Got it.” He turned and left.
Shoot. She hoped that he gave them to someone else.
Why do I feel so bad?
When he returned the flowers were gone, but he still appeared pale.
“I’m so sorry, Princess.”
“You weren’t to know,” she replied quietly.
He shook his head. “Makes me feel ill, thinking of him . . . shit. That fucking prick.”
She jumped slightly at his harsh tone and let out a moan of pain. He reached out a hand to her before snatching it back. “Fuck, it’s so hard not to touch you.”
“You’re saying fuck a lot.”
Why didn’t he want to touch her?
He probably doesn’t find you attractive like this. Bruised skin and sunken cheeks likely don’t do it for him.
Or maybe it’s because you keep flinching away from him like you think he’ll hurt you.
Indie closed her eyes for a moment .
“Indie? Did I scare you? I am so sorry. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“How is that not my fault?” he asked with clear irritation in his voice.
She opened her eyes, staring up at him in surprise and a bit of hurt.
“Oh no, Princess,” he said in a rush, stepping forward again.
“I’m not upset with you. I’m upset at myself.
I need to take things so that you know I’d never fucking hurt you.
But I look at you and I feel so fucking angry that I want to punch someone.
And you know I’ve never really been one to use my fists.
What that bastard did to you, though . . .”
“It’s his fault I keep flinching, not yours.”
“If you trusted me, you would feel safe around me,” he said stubbornly. “Once I earn your trust again, then you won’t flinch away from me.”
“You think it will be that simple?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t think it will be simple at all. But the best things in life never are.”
Fuck.
Spencer felt like he was falling apart.
When they’d all agreed that he’d stay with Indie the night in the hospital, he’d thought he’d won the fucking jackpot.
He got to be the one to watch over her, take care of her while the others had to sit around on their hands and worry.
Yeah, he’d thought he was the best person for the job . . . then.
Not so much now.
Now he thought he might be fucking everything up in a huge way. Which was the last thing he wanted to do. Not just because the guys were trusting him.
But because he wanted to do everything right by his girl. He wanted to see her smile again. To watch her laugh .
Seeing fear on her face that was caused by him?
It made him feel ill.
His girl had been through so much.
“I don’t know if I can . . . if I can ever trust anyone again, Spencer.”
“I know you think that, but I aim to show you differently. I just need some time and for you to not shut me out.”
“Not sure I can give you that. I’m not even sure I’m staying.”
“Staying where?” he asked in confusion.
“In London.”
“You’re going back to Birmingham?” he asked incredulously. “That’s not going to be safe. Billy is still out there and I don’t know how long it will take us to find him.”
Her eyes widened.
And he probably shouldn’t have told her that part.
Fuck.
She sat up suddenly, then let out a low cry of pain. Panic flooded him.
“Fuck. Shit. Shitty fuck. It’s all right, Princess. Just breathe. I’ll call for the nurse.”
“No!” she cried out. “It’s . . . it’s fine. I just moved too fast and it hurt. She said . . . I can’t have any more painkillers at the moment.”
“What about your headache?” he asked, noting that she’d squinted a few times.
Indie shook her head with another wince.
Crap.
What could he do to help? He eyed the overhead lights and moved to the door to turn them off. A small sigh of relief left her.
Why hadn’t she asked him to do that before? Or asked the nurse?
He was going to have to teach her to ask for what she needed rather than sitting back and putting everyone else’s needs first.
He’d thought they’d taught her better. It seemed like that tendency was back and he didn’t like it.
She was the precious one. She came first .
“Good girl. You’re doing so well,” he said. “Have you drunk any water?”
“I don’t want to,” she said in a surprisingly young voice.
His eyebrows rose. Did she mean to let her Little side slip out?
“I know you don’t want to, but you have to,” he said firmly. “It will help.”
“A soda would help,” she said. “I need the caffeine.”
Hmm. It probably would.
“Tell you what, I’ll go and get you a caffeinated soda if you’re a good girl and drink a whole glass of water.”
She had her eyes closed but opened them to frown up at him. “I don’t like ultimatums.”
“All you have to do is drink the water.” He resisted the urge to rub the lines out of her forehead, knowing she might not appreciate that.
It was hard, though.
He wanted to touch her constantly.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “My head’s getting worse.”
“Poor Princess. Here’s the water.” He grabbed the glass of water and held the straw for her. She wrapped her lips around the straw.
He didn’t mean to get hard. But watching her wrap her lips around the straw and suck . . . it was incredibly sexy and suggestive. And he couldn’t stop his cock from sitting up and taking notice.
Asshole.
She’s in a hospital bed. She’s got a bad headache and she’s black and blue from a beating.
Calm. Down.
At least her eyes were closed so he couldn’t see him staring at her like he wanted to eat her.
Darn it.
That wasn’t doing his cock any favors. Now he found himself wondering what she would taste like.
Spencer was a pleasure Dom.
There was nothing he liked more than taking care of a sub, bringing her to release over and over. And eating pussy was one of his favorite things in the world.
And he had a feeling that her pussy would be better than anything he’d tasted in his life.
“Spencer? Are you all right?” she asked in a croaky voice.
Shit.
Hopefully she didn’t notice the hunger on his face as he stared down at her.
“Me? Yeah, Princess. You did such a good job. Well done.”
He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten how much she needed reassurance and praise. This sort of thing was right up his alley.
“You don’t need to treat me like I’m going to break. I’m not.”
“Of course you’re not,” he agreed.
He knew she was surprised by the way her eyes widened.
“You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“You don’t really think that.”
“Are you going to tell me what I think?” he asked.
She gave him a fatigued look. And he remembered her headache and the fact that she hadn’t eaten yet. He’d ordered some burrito bowls. He wished he could cook for her, then he could be sure it was healthy and prepared properly.
“I’m not strong. A strong person would have stood up to Billy. Would have left him a long time ago.”
“Sometimes it’s impossible to see how bad someone is for you . . . I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Billy. But I do know that he likely manipulated you, played with your emotions and your head. And you are strong, you left him and started over pretty much on your own.”
“Maggie helped me.”
Thank God for Maggie being there for her when they hadn’t been.
“Leaving him took a lot of strength. But you can’t be strong all the time. We all need to lean on someone sometimes.”
“Well, sometimes we don’t have any choice. Sometimes the only person you can trust is yourself,” she said .
Ouch.
That was deserved even if it struck deep.
“I know I let you down, Princess. And that only my actions will show you that I won’t do that again. I’m going to get you that soda now. Just rest.”