Chapter 25
F uck.
Slade hated the broken sound of her voice. He leaned against the doorway of her hospital room. It was obvious that neither of them had heard him open the door. Spencer should really be more alert.
But he couldn’t call him out. Not when Slade knew he’d probably be the same way.
Wrapped up in Indie.
Her care.
Her needs.
She was all he could think about at the moment. She was under his skin. An itch he couldn’t get rid of.
And didn’t want to.
A gift had turned up from Shepherd just as they were leaving for the hospital. Four pairs of knee protectors.
Since they’d be on their knees begging forgiveness. He’d be grouchy about the gift if it wasn’t so apt.
“You can’t stay in a hotel forever,” Spencer told her. “Where are you going to live? Will you get another apartment? What if Billy finds that one too? ”
Rock sucked in a breath behind him. Slade knew that he didn’t like the way Spencer was arguing with her, that he was bringing up Billy.
The fucker.
But Slade shook his head at Rock. Maybe this was good. Get things out in the open. Get Indie talking.
If they were all there, she might clam up.
Quaid stood back from Rock. Apart. But from the small frown on his face, Slade knew he could hear what they were saying.
“Maggie said she’d stay here or that I could go to Escana with them. That might be the best plan. No chance of Billy getting me there.”
Slade sucked in a sharp breath. If she went to Escana they’d never get her back. They didn’t let just anyone cross the border. And what if she found a nice harem of guys who she had no baggage with? Ones who hadn’t betrayed and broken her?
There was no way he could let that happen.
“That’s what you want?” Spencer asked, sounding broken. “You want to leave? To live in Escana?”
There was a long beat of silence. And Slade felt hope fill him. Because wouldn’t she have answered ‘yes’ straight away if she actually wanted to move to Escana?
“No. But I’m finding that very little in life is about what I want.”
Ouch.
That stabbed him in the stomach. He hated that her life had been like that. But there was so much more life to live. And it would be up to him to ensure that she got everything she wanted.
Everything she desired.
Yeah, he was going to see to that.
Slade stepped into the room, drawing both of their gazes. Indie looked surprised, but Spencer just nodded.
Okay, he’d cut the guy some slack. Maybe he had known that they were there.
“We don’t want you to go to Escana, Boo,” Slade said, coming to sit on the mattress facing her. She glanced at him, then over to the others.
He turned and sighed.
Once more, Rock had taken up sentry duty by the door, facing away from Indie. As though looking at her made him face his failures. Or perhaps he just felt too ashamed.
Quaid was in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall and staring at his feet.
Fuck.
They were all a fucking mess. And it was going to be up to him to try and convince Indie that it was in her best interests to go home with them.
He wished he could just order her to.
Life was much simpler when people just did what he told them to.
Like you always get everything right.
Like she should trust you.
You wouldn’t if the tables were turned.
“Why would I do that?” she asked, twisting her fingers together. “I don’t even understand why you’d want me to stay with you all.”
Slade laid his hand over hers, gently separating her fingers and holding her right hand in his. She felt so delicate and small. “Because you belong with us. And we owe you big.”
It was the wrong thing to say. He didn’t need Rock’s growl or Spencer’s groan to tell him that. He saw it in the way that she flinched.
“Right. So you want me to stay out of guilt.” She drew her hand away from his.
Well, she tried to.
He’d spotted a bruise on her knuckle. Faint, but there. Had she gotten it trying to hit back?
That motherfucker.
Fury built inside him until he was shaking with it.
“Slade?” she whispered. “Are you okay? ”
“I . . . I am just so fucking mad. At Billy, for doing this to you. But mostly at myself for putting this distance between us. And now you don’t trust me anymore.
You always trusted me. And I threw that gift away.
I don’t . . . I don’t want you to stay with us out of guilt.
I want you to stay with us because I want a chance to make everything right again.
I want you so much that everything hurts.
And I know I’m not the only one. However, I won’t talk for them because that’s not the way things work.
I broke us and I have to fix what I broke.
Only I can’t do that if you’re halfway across the world where I can’t reach you.
And there is no reason for you to give me this.
I know you must be scared and mad and that you probably want revenge.
I’m just praying there’s a part of you that wants me back in your life.
That might be willing to give me a second chance even if I don’t deserve it. ”
Indie stared at Slade through blurry eyes.
Crap.
These emotions were killing her. It was all their fault. The four of them.
Did they all think the same as Slade?
Well, she guessed Spencer did. He’d said something along the same lines. She wasn’t so sure about Rock and Quaid. Neither of them could really meet her gaze.
But as Slade said, he couldn’t speak for them all. Just for himself.
However, what he said . . . she wanted. Desperately.
To have what was broken mended.
To have them again.
Even knowing that when he said ‘us’ he didn’t mean it in the way that she really wanted. He didn’t mean that he wanted her like that.
She’d long since resigned herself to the fact that while she might want them, they didn’t feel the same way. Which was likely for the best .
Just because reverse harems worked in Escana didn’t mean they’d work in England.
She could just imagine the scandal that would cause.
“I miss you, Indie. I’ve missed you ever since Billy came into your life.
And that’s not a criticism of you. I’m not saying any of that was your fault.
I should have pushed to see you. I should have checked on you more.
I should have . . . I should have fucking known what he was doing to you.
That will haunt me for the rest of our lives. ”
“It haunts all of us,” Spencer added.
“That our girl was being abused . . . fuck,” Slade’s voice broke and that was when she saw all the pain he’d been trying to hold back.
And she knew she couldn’t walk away. Couldn’t leave.
Because if there was a chance she could have him back . . . she had to take it.
Even if they break you again?
Well, this time, she’d hold a piece of herself back. She’d loved them with everything before.
Now, she knew the truth. They could hurt her. Could leave her.
And the truth was that she couldn’t imagine going to Escana with Maggie and she’d never ask her to stay here. Maggie had to be free to live her life. Indie had held her back enough. She didn’t want her best friend worrying about her anymore.
Staying with these guys would give Maggie freedom and Indie wanted to do that.
And, hell, these guys did owe her right?
Maybe she could use them for shelter and care. Keeping her baby safe was her priority and they could help do that.
They all owed her that and more. Perhaps it was time to be selfish for once. She’d just need to be careful not to let them close to her heart again.
Indie glanced around at them all. Did Slade have a red mark on his cheek? She frowned slightly, but didn’t ask him about it .
“How would it work?” she asked. “What would you expect from me?”
“Nothing,” Quaid said in a harsh voice. “We would expect nothing from you.”
Ouch.
She wasn’t quite sure why that reply packed a punch. But it did and she rubbed her stomach to ease the ache.
“Except to rest and feel better,” Spencer added quickly. “All we want is for you to heal.”
“And keep you safe,” Slade added. “So there will be some rules.”
“But not many,” Spencer added.
The two men stared at each other.
Indie cleared her throat, trying to ease the sudden tension in the room. “I want to be safe from Billy. I don’t want to put my baby at risk.”
Slade relaxed and nodded. “Right. So no going nowhere without one of us.”
How often would they be able to escort her places? They worked a lot.
Then again, where did she have to go? She likely had no job. No friends other than Maggie.
“We can talk about all of that once we get you home,” Spencer told her gently. “But you don’t need to worry about anything. We’ll take care of it all.”
“Like we always should have,” Slade said in a low voice.
She was all too aware that neither Rock nor Quaid had said much. Rock rarely spoke but he couldn’t even meet her gaze or come close to her. What did that mean?
And Quaid looked so removed, as if he wished he wasn’t even in the room.
Perhaps this was a really dumb idea.
“Let us take care of you, please,” Slade begged.
She to hold herself together. Damn it. Where was the numb?
But a tear slid down her face. Then another one .
Slade moved closer and she let him gently grasp hold of her, hugging her.
God, it felt like home.
And for some reason that made her cry harder. She’d missed them so much.
And she wasn’t just talking about since they’d kicked her out of the penthouse. She’d been missing them for months.
Billy had isolated her from everyone without her even noticing. Well, not until it was too late. Until she was so broken that she didn’t know how to fix any of her relationships.
“I’ve missed you,” she said without meaning to.
This wasn’t going how she’d planned. Was this really a smart idea? They could hurt her again.
“God, Boo, I’ve missed you too,” Slade told her. “So fucking much.”
She nodded, not saying anything else. She’d already said enough. Except . . .
“What happened to your face?” she asked.
His cheek was red and swollen. As though someone had hit him. But who would do that?
“Walked into a cupboard. I’m fine.”
She knew he was lying. But she didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now.
Slade was still hugging her as Maggie and her men came into the room. He drew back and she glanced over to find Maggie staring at them all in shock.
Indie gave her a knowing look. Maggie had gone to them. She’d told them everything.
About Billy.
The truth about how she hadn’t stolen those plans.
Why?
“What the heck? What’s going on?” Maggie asked.
Indie drew back and wiped her cheeks. “Slade came to . . . to apologize. ”
“All of us did,” Quaid told Maggie.
So he’d talk to her, huh?
“Right.” Indie nodded. “Um, I . . . can I have a minute with Maggie?”
All seven men looked at each other with frowns. But they all left and Maggie moved toward Indie, taking her hand. She wasn’t sure how to explain this.
“Are you all right?” Maggie asked.
“Yeah. I just . . . it’s all slightly overwhelming. Maggie, I love you, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. All the sacrifices you made?—”
“Worth it.”
Indie gave her a sad smile. “I know you mean that. But I . . . I don’t think I can move to Escana. I know it would likely be the smart move, but this is home. And Slade . . . he’s promised to make things up to me. Starting by moving me in with them. Are you . . . are you angry?”
“Angry? No. Of course not.” Maggie hugged her carefully. “A bit sad. But I get it. I mean . . . would your decision also have anything to do with wanting those three hunks of spunk?”
Three?
Oh, was she not counting Slade?
Probably because he’s your sort of stepbrother.
But she didn’t have sisterly feelings toward him.
“No!”
It was Maggie’s turn to give her a knowing look. But she didn’t say anything. Instead, she helped her pack her things. Well, Indie lay there while Maggie did it all. Not that she had much.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” Maggie said.
“Not forever,” Indie said with alarm.
“Of course not!” Maggie said. “Maybe I should stay for a while and keep an eye on you.”
“You’ve done enough for me. Go with those three back to Escana. ”
“I’m always here for you. No matter what. It’s the two of us. Got it?” Maggie said fiercely.
Indie smiled. “Right. Soon to be three.” They both put their hands on Indie’s tummy.
“Three of us,” Maggie said. “Always.”