Chapter 33
W hen she walked out of the bathroom that night, she found Spencer laying a sleeping bag on the floor next to the bed.
“Spencer?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“What are you doing?”
“I thought I would sleep here tonight. That way, if you wake up, I’ll be right here. I told Rock that he should get some sleep. He hasn’t been sleeping much. Not that that is your fault,” he said hastily.
“I know,” she said. “But neither of you needs to watch over me.”
“You woke up last night,” he pointed out.
“I wake up most nights.” She put her hands on her hips.
“And you got out of bed. What if you’d wandered off somewhere? What if you’d walked out onto the deck? You could walk right off the edge.”
Okay, he needed to chill. He was acting crazy.
“Um, I wasn’t sleepwalking,” she told him. “I’m not going to walk off the edge of the deck, which does have a railing. And Rock isn’t the only one that needs sleep. You do too. You’re running yourself ragged taking care of me.”
“I like taking care of you,” he said, sitting next to her on the bed.
“I know you do. But you’ll wear yourself out. Just ease up. You don’t have to prove anything to me, all right?”
He turned to her, his face serious. “Taking care of other people . . . it makes me feel needed. It makes me feel good and wanted. When it comes to taking care of you . . . it’s like it’s something I was meant to do.
And I feel like if I don’t take care of you, if I’m not watching you all the time, that you might just .
. . disappear. That I might miss something and you’ll be hurt or sick or something and I won’t be there. I just . . . I can’t . . .”
Spencer sounded like he was starting to hyperventilate.
She didn’t know why she did it. She was just working on instinct. But leaning up, she kissed him.
He stilled. Froze.
Urgh.
Why did she do that?
She was an idiot. She was supposed to be guarding her heart from these guys not throwing herself at them.
But then his hand slipped behind her head and he took over the kiss.
And, boy, did he know how to kiss. It deepened. Grew more heated. Hunger filled her and she let out a small whimper.
More.
She wanted more. God. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. He lifted her onto his lap and tilted her back so he could deepen the kiss. His tongue slid into her mouth and she sighed in satisfaction.
She’d always hated kissing Billy.
It had been sloppy and weird. And he’d sort of stab his tongue into her mouth and half-choke her.
But this was sweet and gentle and yet at the same time it was sexy and hot .
When Spencer drew back, she let out a small whimper of protest, wanting more.
And then she realized what was going on. She’d just kissed Spencer. Basically thrown herself at him.
Idiot.
She searched for the numb, trying to retreat.
“Don’t leave,” he said hastily.
“I’m right here.” She blinked in surprise at the fear on his face.
“But your mind is trying to retreat. Fuck, I moved too fast. What was I thinking? You need time. Not have me throw myself at you.”
“Pretty sure I kissed you first.”
“Yeah, you did. And I liked it.”
“You . . . you did? Billy said I was a terrible kisser.”
His gaze narrowed and she instantly regretted her words as the lust on his face was replaced with anger.
“Billy is a fuckwit.”
Yeah. He sure was.
“That’s the truth,” she said.
“And you are an excellent kisser.” He gave her a light kiss. “Best I’ve ever had.”
Now she knew he was lying.
“No lying, remember?” she told him. “That goes both ways.”
“I would never lie about something like this,” he replied.
Jesus.
A shiver ran through her.
What did this mean? Did he want to kiss her again? How would their relationship change? And what about the others?
She was attracted to them all.
She knew that Quaid wanted nothing to do with her. Not even friendship it seemed. And Slade had a girlfriend. Plus, he was still her stepbrother.
But what about Rock?
There were definitely feelings there. At least she had feelings for him.
For all of them .
“Don’t worry so much,” Spencer told her. “You don’t have to stress about this.”
Right. It was just a kiss. Not a promise. Nothing more than that.
He set her on the bed next to him. “Let’s get you into bed.”
She was already in her pajamas so all he had to do was tuck her in.
“You’re not really going to sleep on the floor, are you?” she asked.
“I don’t like the idea of you needing something in the night and no one being here to help you.”
That was so sweet.
And totally unnecessary.
No. Nope.
Don’t do it.
“If you wanted to, you could lie on the bed.”
Urgh. Why did she never listen to herself?
Spencer shook his head. “I don’t want to risk bumping into you and hurting you.”
“Rock slept with me last night and he didn’t hurt me once.”
And . . . oops. She shouldn’t have said that.
“Rock slept with you last night?” he asked. “In your bed?”
“Um. Yeah.”
Why did she keep feeling like Quaid had been there as well? That was crazy.
Rather than looking angry, Spencer surprised her by smiling.
“All right. Well, if Rock’s done it, so can I.”
Okay, she fully admitted that she did not understand men.
At all.
Quaid stepped into her bedroom, walking over to the bed.
He froze as she rolled over.
Except . . . that wasn’t her. That was a man.
Relief filled him as he saw that it was Spencer .
Like she is going to have someone else in her bed?
He didn’t know why but every night he’d forced himself to come home, he’d ended up in here, checking on her.
It was a compulsion. One that he couldn’t seem to ignore or get rid of.
So here he was, sneaking into her bedroom like a total creep to stand over her while she slept. One night he’d stood there for several hours. A few times she’d had nightmares and he’d spoken to her until she’d quieted, reassuring her that she was safe.
Now it seemed she’d found someone else to reassure her and keep her safe in the night.
Not that he was jealous. Not of Spencer. If anyone was going to have her, he wanted it to be his friends.
Even though he couldn’t be a part of that relationship, at least he’d know she was being taken care of properly.
That was what was important.