Chapter 35
“ H ey, why do you look so worried? Does that upset you? Do you . . . do you not want all of us?” Slade asked.
To her shock, the normally confident Slade sounded worried.
She shook her head. “That’s not it. Not want you guys? Ha! That's laughable. I’ve dreamed of this conversation. I’ve wanted you all for years. But I never thought that you might feel the same about me. Are you sure?”
His finger under her chin was gentle but with a definite command to look at him. Tilting her head back, he stared down at her with such affection and . . . and lust that it took her breath away.
“Baby, there is nothing I want more. Do you think you can give us a chance? I know we’re still mending what we broke but do you think you could be with us? That you could give us a chance?”
“I love you too, Slade. I always have but now it’s no longer sisterly love or hero worship.”
“Damn, no hero worship?” He winced.
She snorted. “I’ve kept things I got from each of you.”
Urgh. Way to just blurt that out .
“You have?” he asked. “Like what?”
“A jumper from Rock. A book I got from Quaid. A photo of Spencer and I. And my pink pompom hat that you gave me. They’re the only things I really wanted to take with me when I left Billy.”
“God, Boo. We were complete wankers.”
She opened her mouth to reply when she heard her name being frantically called.
Was that Spencer?
She sat up and saw him stick his head out the door. “Indie!”
“I’m here. What’s wrong?” she asked.
Slade held her on his lap as she tried to get up. She gave him a confused look.
“You still don’t have any shoes on,” he explained. “You’re not walking around on cold tiles with bare feet.”
“Indie! What are you doing out here?” Spencer demanded as he reached them. He was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and a pair of purple pajama pants.
There was something off in his voice.
He sounded frantic.
“I’m sorry,” she said as Rock walked out, looking tired. He wore a sweater and a pair of shorts.
Brr.
He must have gotten woken up by Spencer’s yelling.
“What?” Rock asked in his broken voice.
Now that she knew what had happened to him . . . well, it was hard not to cry every time she heard him talk.
“I woke up and Indie was gone.” Spencer pointed at her. “New rule. No getting out of bed without permission.”
Um. What?
She gaped at him. “You can’t just make up whatever rules you want!”
“Sure, I can! I’m the Dom. I’m the Daddy. I’m the boss.”
Was he for real right now? She narrowed her gaze at him, her body growing tense .
“Uh, Spencer,” Slade said. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but you might want to ease up.”
Rock nodded. “Sound like Slade.”
“That’s true,” Slade agreed. He stood with her in his arms. “Let’s go inside where it’s warmer and talk for a moment.”
“This is going to be a rule,” Spencer said as soon as they were inside.
Slade sat her down on the sofa in her spot. Yep, she’d claimed a spot and it was all hers. She wondered if Quaid was home. Wouldn’t he have heard all the commotion if he was?
Spencer was pacing, running his fingers through his hair. She was about to scold him, but then she noticed that his fingers were shaking.
What was wrong with him?
“Spencer? What’s going on?” she asked. “Why are you so . . . upset?”
“Yeah, why have you got your knickers in a twist over Indie getting up?” Slade asked.
“Because I thought she was gone!” Spencer yelled. “I woke up and she wasn’t there and I . . . I . . . fuck!” All of a sudden he seemed to deflate. He sat on the couch and rested his head on his hands. His elbows were on his thighs as he took several long breaths. “I overreacted.”
Indie got up and moved over to him before attempting to kneel in front of him.
“Stop,” Slade barked while Rock made a noise of protest.
Spencer’s head shot up and he stared at her. Then he quickly grasped her around the waist, pulling her back up so she was standing. “What are you doing?”
“Well, I was going to talk to you.”
“On your knees?” he growled.
“Thought most men would like that,” she grumbled as her face grew red.
“Oh, I like it,” Spencer drawled. “But not when you’re pregnant and recovering from a beating. ”
“You can be our naughty girl on your knees when you’re fully mended,” Slade added.
She glanced over to find him watching her hungrily.
“I, for one, like it a lot,” Slade told her.
Oh, she bet he did.
“No kneeling until then,” Spencer said. “That’s a rule.”
“Since when are you so rule-driven?” she grumbled. Out of all of them she’d thought that he would be the most easygoing.
“Since I was charged with the care and protection of the most precious thing in the world to me,” he said.
Just like that Spencer completely shattered her.
She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even breathe.
All she could do was gape at him in shock.
“Fuck, I know I overreacted. But every night that I’m not sleeping with you, I lie in bed, unable to sleep, going over and over that day and what I could have done differently.
And once I get to sleep, I’m plagued with nightmares of Billy hurting you while I’m watching, helpless to do anything. I can’t stop him. I can’t protect you.”
“Spencer,” she said, taking hold of his hands and squeezing them. “You have to stop thinking about it. I’m here now. I’m safe.”
“But what if something happens? What if he finds you and I’m not there to protect you? What if you get sick? What if you fall and hurt yourself? What if you decide you don’t want us and you leave?”
That last part was said in a voice filled with such utter dread and fear that it made her heart hurt.
She let go of his hands and grasped his face, drawing his head back to give him a stern look.
“Listen to me, Spencer Hensley. I’m here.
I’m not going anywhere.” She swallowed heavily and looked from him to Rock, then to Slade.
“Slade told me that you want a . . . a relationship with me. The three of you.”
“Quaid—” Slade started to say.
But she shook her head and he grew silent.
“Quaid isn’t here and I don’t think he wants me. That’s up . . . that’s up to him.” No one could make him want her. As much as she wished that they could. Because doing this without Quaid . . . it was going to hurt.
A lot.
Greedy much? Three men aren’t enough for you?
Urgh.
Just because she was with the other three didn’t mean that her feelings for Quaid had changed. Loving one didn’t come at the expense of the others.
But she couldn’t focus on Quaid and the fact that he was avoiding her right now. That was an issue for another day.
“Does each of you really want me?” she asked.
She looked to Slade first since he was the easiest. He’d already told her what he wanted.
“Yes, Boo. That’s what I want. I want you. A relationship with you. To be your man. Your Daddy, if you’ll have me.”
Indie gulped. “I’ve got no experience with any of that other than what I’ve seen at the club. I’ve never been in a relationship with a Daddy Dom. Hell, I’ve never even played with a Dom before. You guys would never let me.”
“There’s a good reason we never let you play with another Dom,” Slade growled. “Because you’re mine.”
“Ours,” Rock said.
“Definitely ours,” Spencer said.
All three of them were staring at her and she swallowed nervously.
Had she really thought through this sharing thing? Three men to keep happy. Three men to boss her around.
Three men to keep . . . satisfied.
Yikes.
“She’s getting nervous.” Spencer grasped hold of her hips and drew her onto his lap as he sat on the sofa. The other two moved so she could see them both as she sat sideways in his lap.
Slade reached forward to cup her chin. “What is it? What’s wrong? ”
“What if I’m not enough for you? I mean . . . you guys could have anyone. What makes me special? What makes you think that I can . . . that I can keep you interested?”
To her shock, Slade started laughing.
“Hey! Why are you laughing! Stop that!” She was being serious.
“But why wouldn’t I laugh when you’re joking.” Slade’s face grew serious. “You better be joking.”
Umm. Why did he look so stern?
“Because if you’re not joking, then you’re putting yourself down and that comes with serious consequences,” Slade added.
Holy shit.
Now, she was getting all heated up again.
“Consequences which will go in your naughty notebook,” Spencer added.
What? Nooo.
“All we’ve done is dream of you,” Spencer said quietly. “We wanted to wait until you’d finished university and we were financially secure. We fucked up. But we never stopped wanting you.”
“Not special?” Rock growled. “Everything. Our world.” The last word was almost silent, but she heard him.
She stared up at him through blurry eyes. “Really?”
“Really,” Slade said. “And we are going to work every day to show you that. To make you feel more secure. The way we always should have.”
“So you will never doubt us,” Spencer told her. “Never doubt how much we want and need you.”
“We aren’t playing around at this, Boo,” Slade told her. “I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t completely sure that I want you. Forever.”
She sucked in a breath. Forever.
It was everything she’d ever dream of. Could she trust them with all of her, though?
“Just give us a chance, Princess,” Spencer said.
They had been here every day, showing her how much they cared. Looking after her. They’d even stepped away from their work to look after her and she’d thought that would never happen.
So she nodded. It was scary. Like taking a step off a cliff and expecting someone to guide you down.
But it also felt so right.
Spencer kissed her first. Light and sweet.
His touch was so reverent as if he was afraid that she might drift away.
She felt like he was holding a piece of himself back, though.
As though there was a darker part of him that he was keeping in reserve.
It was just out of her reach . . . she had a feeling she wasn’t quite ready to awaken that beast, though.