Chapter 72
Q uaid glanced over as the door to the playroom opened and Slade walked in.
His eyes widened as he took them in.
“Is everything all right? You spanked her?” There was a note of surprise in Slade’s voice that Quaid understood. They had been treating her like she was made of glass, as though she might break at any moment.
“She asked for one. She needed it to let go. To cry and get some relief from all the emotions trapped inside her.”
Slade nodded. “She’s been hiding her real emotions. Withdrawing from us. I hate it.”
They all did.
“I’ve got her now,” Quaid said.
“Good. I might just go to the club for a few hours.”
Quaid nodded. “Thanks. I’d appreciate it.” He wasn’t ready to give up this time alone with her.
“She’s gonna heal us all, Quaid,” Slade told him.
“She already is.”
“Oh, a letter arrived for her if she wants to look at it. I tried showing it to her last week but she wasn’t interested. ”
Quaid nodded and kissed the top of her head after Slade left. He loved the guys. But he wasn’t quite ready to share.
Indie started to stir, opening her eyes. She stared around her, then sat up with a gasp. “Hope!”
“It’s all right,” Quaid told her. “She’s safe at the hospital with Spencer and Rock. Here, they just sent a photo.”
It was one of Rock sitting bare chested with tiny Hope against his chest. Even Quaid, with his limited emotional abilities, could see how fucking cute that was.
“Ohh, that’s adorable,” she said, running her finger over the image.
Then she winced and moved onto her knees. “Ouch. My bottom hurts.”
“That’s generally what happens after a spanking,” he told her.
She pouted. “Should we go back to the hospital now?”
Quaid shook his head. “Nope. We’re spending the whole night here and you’re going to get some sleep, young lady.”
He tapped her nose and she frowned, pretending to try and bite his finger. Someone was in a playful mood.
“How are you feeling now?”
She paused as if thinking about it. “Lighter. Lots lighter. And I can feel again, which is scary but also a relief.”
“Good, baby girl.”
“Thanks, Q-Q,” she said, hugging him around the neck.
“Hmm. Might be the first time I’ve ever been thanked for spanking someone’s bottom.”
“Q-Q!” she cried.
“How about we have a bath?” he asked her. “And if you’re feeling up to it, I thought we could stretch your little asshole.”
She buried her face into his chest, but he felt her nod and he smiled. He’d helped her release some of the emotion trapped inside her. But he also thought that she was doing the same for him.
Indie stepped into the bathroom and froze.
She hadn’t actually thought through this whole bathing together thing, had she?
When he’d changed her into this tracksuit, she’d managed to keep on her undergarments.
But generally when you bathed, you did it completely naked.
Which was going to be a problem.
Quaid stripped off and she stared at him hungrily.
Holy moly, he was gorgeous. All of her men were. He had a tattoo of four connecting circles over his right pec.
“When did you get the tattoo,” she asked.
“A year ago. Going to have to add two more circles.”
She gave him a questioning look.
“One for you and one for Hope.”
A flush of pleasure moved through her as she ran her hand over his muscular chest and down his firm stomach. His dick was already semi-hard and it looked beautiful.
“Can I suck your cock?” she asked.
“Well, that will depend on whether you’re a good girl or not,” he told her.
Really?
“I’m always a good girl.”
“Nice try. But I know that’s not true.”
That was mean.
Indie wrapped her hand around his dick and tugged lightly. He let out a low moan before taking hold of her hand and stilling her.
“Tonight, you can touch me as much as you like,” he said. “But there will be other times when you’ll only be allowed to touch me with my permission. Times when I’ll want to play with you more formally. I like to be totally in control then.”
Something she already knew.
“I cannot wait to tie you up,” he told her. “To have you in my ropes. Would you like that, baby girl?”
A shudder ran through her. She’d watched him tie up subs before, watched the way their faces grew so happy and relaxed. As though they didn’t have a care in the world.
Yeah. She wanted that.
“Yes. One day.”
“Good girl for being honest. Now, tell me what the problem is,” he demanded.
“It, well, um, it’s only beeneightweekssinceIgavebirth.”
Understanding filled his face. “You’re not ready for sex? I get it, baby girl. We’ll just bathe together.”
Drat.
He didn’t get it.
That wasn’t the issue.
“No, that’s not it,” she said. “I want to.”
She really, really did. That spanking hadn’t just helped her release all of her negative emotions. It had paved the way for her to feel all sorts of things.
Like a crushing sense of need and arousal for this man.
“I just don’t want you to see me naked. My body has . . . changed. I’m not . . . my tummy is still . . . and the scar is . . .”
Crap.
She was really messing this up.
And the look on his face told her just how badly she was messing this up. He appeared furious.
“What did you just say?” he asked.
“Um, that my body has changed and I don’t want you to see it. That seems to make you . . . angry.”
“Why would that make me angry, baby girl?” he asked in a low voice as he stepped closer to her.
“I don’t know. It’s your emotion.”
“Guess.”
Uh-oh.
He really wasn’t happy. And for Quaid to show this amount of emotion? Yeah, he really, really wasn’t happy.
“Because you wanted to have sex with me?”
“Wrong. You’re lucky you’ve just been spanked because otherwise I’d have you put your hands on the bathroom wall, then I’d strip off your pants and panties and I’d spank your ass until it was visible to aliens in outer space.”
Hmm. Right. Yes, she was actually grateful that she had been spanked already because that didn’t sound like a fun experience at all.
“Haven’t you been punished before for saying derogatory things about your body?” he asked.
What?
Oh heck.
Yes. She remembered that punishment all too well.
“Um, yes, but I shouldn’t be punished for saying something that is true.”
He kissed her. It was so sudden that it caught her by surprise. But she quickly fell into the kiss, melting against him.
Drawing back, he cupped her face between his hands. “I know it must be hard, your body has changed and it probably doesn’t feel like your own.”
Bollocks.
How did he know?
“But you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.
It doesn’t matter how your body changes, you will always be gorgeous to me.
You can have extra skin, stretch marks, scars, and I will still see you as stunning and sexy.
I have scars. I have things I don’t like about myself. Do they make you love me any less?”
“No. Never,” she told him. “I guess I’ve just lost some of my confidence. I’ve been so caught up in Hope that I didn’t really think about it. But I do have stretch marks now and my stomach isn’t as flat as it was before I got pregnant. I feel different and it’s a bit weird.”
“Let me show you that different isn’t a bad thing. That nothing about you is bad or wrong or unattractive. Trust me to take care of you.”
It might have been different if he’d ordered her to strip. Or just told her that she was being stupid. Instead, he’d realized how much this was affecting her.
And he wanted to help.
She sniffled. “You still think I’m beautiful?”
“Yes.” It was said firmly without hesitation.
“That I’ll always be beautiful, no matter how my body changes?”
“Stunning. Gorgeous. Sexy. Kind. Wonderful. Smart. You are all that. You’re a fucking queen. And we should get down on our knees and worship you.”
“Well, that does sound kind of nice,” she told him with a smirk.
He let out a huff of laughter. “I bet it does. Are you ready to show me?”
Indie sucked in a sharp breath but then nodded slowly. “Ready.”
Part of her couldn’t believe she was doing this. But she didn’t protest further as he undressed her. She forced herself to stand there once she was naked. He stepped back and studied her for a long moment.
Then, to her shock, he knelt in front of her.
She’d never thought she would see him kneel for her like this. His face was now level with her stomach, the area she was most self-conscious about.
But when she tried to take a step back, he grasped hold of her ass, keeping her in place.
“Stay,” he said quietly. “Let me show you. Trust me.”
Shoot. She had said that she trusted him. She stayed still, closing her eyes. He leaned forward, kissing along her belly. Then he ran his tongue lightly over the sides of her tummy. Indie belatedly realized that was where her stretch marks were.
A tear slid down her cheek at the worship she could feel in his touch.
“So gorgeous,” he told her as he kissed back along her stomach to the other side. His touch was so light, almost reverent. As though he really did worship her. This was the most connected she’d felt to him. “So beautiful. My stunning girl.”
Shoot. And here she’d thought she was all cried out. More tears escaped.
“The girl that I love and adore. Who I am deeply sorry that I hurt because she is so precious to me.”
Jeez, for a man that was supposedly emotionally repressed, he sure did know how to make her feel things.
She was feeling all of the feelings.
He moved lower, placing a kiss on the top of her mound. Where her scar was. It was like a butterfly kiss. Barely there but still noticeable and poignant. She didn’t really want anything to touch her scar and she knew he felt that when he quickly moved away.
How were these guys so in tune with her? It was insane.
“Step back until you’re against the wall,” he ordered.
She shuffled back until she was resting against the wall, he moved with her.
He placed his foot flat on the floor with his knee bent. Then he placed his hands around her hips. “I’m going to support you. I want you to put your foot up on my thigh.”