Chapter 8
EIGHT
Roxie breathed deep and smiled—to keep her good vibe even. She knew all about laughter therapy—that if you were down, even just putting on a smile lifted your mood up a few notches. Not that she was down, of course. No way could any kind of sadness sink her now—after all, she’d gotten what she’d wanted. The most incredible experience. Now it was finished and that was fine. She wasn’t going to fall for him. No, if anything, what she felt was gratitude. He’d given everything she’d ever wanted—fun, courtesy, ecstasy. She knew it all now. And sure, she could see why some girls went crazy for the guy who gave that kind of absolute joy. But she wasn’t going to lose it.
Having said that, it had to be a one-time-only. Once definitely had to be enough. And honestly it was—she was so exhausted she could hardly move. No way could she manage a replay anyway. She stepped out of her hot shower and pulled on a fresh tee shirt. She curled up on her camp bed, pulling her pillow under her cheek, and relaxed as tiredness overwhelmed her. Tiredness and satisfaction—that tiny hint of forlorn determinedly forgotten. She forced herself to focus on upcoming European destinations. But as she drifted to sleep it was him she dwelt on—his smile, his tease, the comfort of his arms.
‘Roxie.’
She moaned and rolled over. Dreaming of him, of the way he’d groaned her name as he’d surged inside her.
‘Roxie!’
Okay, he didn’t usually shout like that—not in her dreams.
‘Open the damn door!’
She pushed her hair back from her face, blinking rapidly to try to bring her brain back from the sensually charged sleep state it had been in the last couple of hours. She stumbled to the door.
‘Is everything okay?’ he asked as soon as she opened it. ‘I’ve been knocking for ages.’
He was wearing shorts and a fitted tee and had clearly been out running. She could hardly drag her eyes up to his face. Her dreams broke their boundaries, sending images—some real memories, some utter fantasies—scrolling through her mind. All involving him without those shorts.
‘Sure,’ she mumbled. ‘I was sleeping.’
She looked into his face; his eyes were focused on her and a heavy frown had obliterated his earlier satisfied expression.
‘Is there something you wanted?’ Her question trailed off. There was something going on with her body; she could feel it priming again. She breathed in, her senses filled with nothing but him—his height, his scent, the harsh sound from his throat as he’d hit his release. She squeezed her pelvic floor muscles to try to stop the melting sensation. It only made it worse.
‘You were really asleep?’ The dark centers of his eyes swelled.
‘Sure,’ she said, starting to laugh. ‘I was tired—it was a late night.’
‘You’ve really been asleep this whole time?’
‘Well, I had a shower...’ She stepped back as he pushed past her and hunched down by her bar fridge. He drew out the bottle with the V marked on it.
‘Why didn’t you come back here this morning and have a champagne brunch to celebrate your new non-virgin status?’ Now he had the smile on—that rakish one.
‘I was waiting to have it with dinner tonight.’ Truthfully she’d forgotten about it. ‘But maybe I’ll open it now.’
Her mouth was so dry, the drink would help. She held out her hand for it.
‘You know, you don’t deserve it yet.’ He stood and held the bottle out of reach.
‘I’m no longer a virgin, Gabe, as I do believe you know.’ She couldn’t resist the husky reminder.
‘I disagree.’
She gaped at him. ‘Tell me I didn’t dream it.’
‘No,’ he chuckled. ‘But there are so many ways in which you are still a virgin. So you’ve had a little vanilla sex. Missionary style. Shouldn’t you be trying out all the options?’
‘What other options did you have in mind?’ Fascinated, she moved closer.
‘Strikes me you have an interesting mind of your own, Roxie. What have you thought about?’
The heat flushed through her body. She didn’t know if she should answer that.
His eyes gleamed and he leaned closer so they were almost, almost touching. ‘Don’t try and tell me you haven’t thought about a few things.’
Okay, so it was going to be more than once. He was right, there was a lot she’d yet to experience. And she wanted to try it all with him.
‘You might regret asking this,’ she breathed. ‘Because the whole time you’ve been out exercising. I’ve been sleeping. You might not have the stamina to keep up with me.’
‘Somehow I think I’ll cope.’ He swallowed. ‘So you want to investigate this further?’
‘There isn’t a “this” between us.’ There couldn’t be. She was free, that was the whole point.
‘No, I meant your sensual nature. Don’t you want to explore that some more?’
Oh, she did. She really, really did. With him.
‘And which was more fun?’ he asked. ‘The fantasy or the reality?’
‘This is all a kind of fantasy,’ she said honestly.
‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘But while you can pretend your hands are mine, there are a couple of things you need me in the flesh for, right?’
Oh, yeah, she needed that flesh. Badly. She moved another step towards him. ‘I’m going away at the end of the season.’
‘We’ll be done before then anyway. Easy, right?’
‘Really easy.’ Oh, just so easy, so nothing more.
He walked closer to meet her. ‘So what other ways, Roxie? Standing, sitting, doggy, on a table, in the shower?’
‘Reverse cowgirl.’
‘ What? ’
‘Reverse cowgirl.’
A distracted look crossed his face. ‘Sure, that too.’
‘Shall we draw up a list?’ ’Cos she had a large number of ideas in her head already.
‘By all means write up a list. So long as I can add to it. Hold this.’ He thrust the bottle into her hands then swooped and picked her up. She giggled as he strode out of her little flat, down the stairs, not stopping ’til he’d barged into his own bedroom. ‘And there has to be some room for spontaneity.’
It seemed sometimes spontaneity involved a champagne shower.
When Gabe woke the next morning—alone—he spotted a single sheet of paper Blu-tacked to the wall. On it was a neatly written list. Bullet points and everything. He both blushed and chuckled as he read it. Seemed Roxie had a flair for fantasy—or had some tantric sex manual stashed somewhere, because even he wasn’t sure what she meant by some of those suggestions. But, man, was he happy at the thought of finding out. On the negative side, it meant his day at the stadium dragged unbelievably slowly.
She was in the garden when he got home. But he thought he should try to hold off for at least five minutes, to prove to himself that he could more than anything. He made a show of looking at the ridiculously huge, abundant green garden, trying not to explode at the way she stroked his chest in explicit welcome.
‘You have enough vegetables here to feed the team three times over,’ he said.
Roxie gave the beds a fleeting glance, really not caring about them that second. ‘There’s not that many. I can eat a lot.’
She saw him glance over her skeptically.
‘When you only eat plant, you eat a lot of plant,’ she pointed out.
‘Is now a bad time to admit that I come from generations of farmers? With several farms. Beef, dairy and sheep.’ He even looked sheepish as he said it.
‘Meat central, huh?’ She shrugged. ‘I guess we do live in New Zealand—fifty sheep per person and all that.’ He chuckled. ‘I don’t think it’s that many. And I didn’t follow the plan, did medicine instead. That make me more acceptable?’
Oh, the man was so much more than acceptable. But she couldn’t afford to admit that, and his ego didn’t need fattening. ‘Marginally.’
‘Marginally?’ He looked affronted. ‘Doctors save lives.’
She shot him a teasing look. ‘How many lives do you save, Gabe? You’re a sports specialist.’
‘I save a lot of lives, actually,’ he said, quite seriously. ‘Think about it. You’re a dancer, right? So you know something of what it’s like to spend every minute of every day training for that one goal. Of making all kinds of sacrifices to try to meet that goal. So what happens if you get an injury and it threatens to snatch it all from you in a second? Don’t you want a doctor on hand then?’
Okay, so she could give him that. ‘Didn’t your family want you to do medicine?’
He shook his head. ‘The firstborn son must grow up and take over the farming empire. It’s written in stone. That archaic belief in primogeniture.’
Oh, her curiosity was piqued. ‘You’re the firstborn son?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘Of how many?’ Yes, totally curious now.
‘Just my sister and me.’
She wondered what his sister was like. What his parents were like. Wondered a ton of things she had no real business wondering. That didn’t stop her asking. ‘And you didn’t want to farm?’
‘Do I look like a farmer?’ he joked.
In his on-trend jeans, tee and trainers, she had to admit he didn’t. ‘Is it too much hard work for you?’ She couldn’t resist teasing him some more.
‘It’s too far out in the country for me.’ He matched her tone. ‘I love to visit but don’t want to live there. I like the city.’
‘Because you like to be near a high-density female population? I’m guessing there aren’t nearly enough women in the countryside for you.’
‘Exactly.’ He grinned. ‘I need the variety. But of course the family doesn’t approve.’
‘Of all the women or the lack of farming interest?’
‘Both.’ He winked. ‘I’m a wayward terror.’
Roxie shook her head. The guy was over-egging it. ‘You’re not that much of a terror. Look how hard I had to push you to take me to bed. I don’t think there’s much substance to your rogue reputation.’
‘Ah, but that was because I was trying to reform my wicked ways.’
He had her absolute attention now. ‘And why was that?’ She watched him close, curious to see if he’d answer.
It seemed he’d decided to give the nearest tomato plant a thorough inspection, bending down to see if the cherry-sized reds were ripe for picking. ‘I get the feeling you might already know about it.’
‘Diana,’ she confirmed softly.
He snapped off the first fruit. ‘What did they tell you?’
Roxie decided to be completely honest. ‘I’m a new dancer for the Blades—first thing they did was warn me away from you.’
He swiveled to look at her, his brows impossibly high. ‘But you ignored them.’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not as vulnerable as it seemed she’d been.’
He looked uncomfortable and turned back to the plant, started a picking frenzy. ‘She wasn’t exactly healthy, no. I didn’t know that when we started dating.’
‘So what happened?’ She moved up beside him and held her hands out so he could put his growing collection of tomatoes into them.
He avoided answering by popping a tomato into his mouth—putting one into her mouth too. She ignored the sweet sensation that flared deep inside—not just from the sun-warmed sweet fruit, but from the feeling of intimacy in him having fed it to her. Determinedly she kept looking at him—her brows raised as she waited for him to spill it.
‘Okay, we dated,’ he said after finally swallowing. ‘Just normal dating—which for me is usually fairly short term, right?’ He gave her a keen look.
Roxie grinned. ‘Yeah, but I’m guessing she didn’t take that on board?’
‘I ended it—way soon even for me. But she’d got it into her head that we were supposed to be soul mates or something. It got very awkward and she became increasingly hysterical. She was on my doorstep, she’d turn up at events I attended. I went away with the team and when I got back she’d actually moved into my apartment. All her stuff, everything, and was acting like... I don’t know. It had gone from awkward to ugly to dangerous. She threatened all kinds of things. I called a friend who’s a psych. We called her family. But it was bad, it was really bad. And after that I decided to take a break from dating altogether.’
Which was why he’d been so grumpy? Because a dating break wasn’t his natural style. Yeah, she knew he wasn’t entirely the heartless playboy he had the rep for, but he did like to have some fun. She moved to put the tomatoes on the outdoor table, pleased he’d been honest enough to tell her about it. She liked that he’d been bothered someone had been hurt—even if it wasn’t really his fault. She guessed Diana had other issues too, it had all just come to a head with Gabe. Poor guy, she didn’t think he’d deserved to put himself into penance for months like that. She smiled at him as he followed her and added yet more tomatoes to the collection.
‘You do know I’m not going to go stalker on you, right?’ He had nothing to fear from her.
‘Yes, I do know that.’ He broke eye contact—staring across the garden instead.
There was an oddly fixed silence.
‘So what does your family think of your career now?’ she asked, just to break it. ‘You can’t be a disappointment, you’re a doctor.’
That brought a slight smile back. ‘Even just a sports doctor?’
‘You know I was only teasing.’ She’d seen for herself how highly regarded he was at the stadium—the team totally relied on him.
‘Yeah, well. You’re not the first to make an issue of it. No, my dad didn’t want me to do medicine. You’re looking at Andrew G. Hollingsworth the sixth and the first to betray the family and walk off the land.’
‘Andrew?’ That threw her—Andrew didn’t suit him at all.
‘Andrew Gabriel,’ he explained. ‘Gabe.’
Gabe was so much better, with those heavenly connotations and all—she knew just how heavenly he felt. ‘Did that go down badly too?’
‘Unbelievably,’ he answered briefly, picking up another tomato and munching on it.
‘Were you written out of the will?’ she joked.
‘For a while.’ He nodded and answered out of the side of his mouth. ‘But I wasn’t going to back down. I’m not having my entire life dictated by other people’s expectations.’
Freedom was important to him too, huh? Roxie walked over to the tap at the back of the garage so she could rinse the plant scent from her fingers.
‘So how did you break free?’ she asked when he came beside her, waiting for his turn under the tap.
‘I ran away to the city, which wasn’t the smartest move, but at the time it was all I had. It’s not that easy to go against the wishes of your whole family when you’ve been groomed from the moment of conception—“one day this will all be yours, your responsibility” blah, blah, blah.’
‘Did they come after you?’
He shook his head. ‘I was seventeen and we didn’t communicate for over a year.’
‘That’s awful.’ How could they do that to a son who was everything any sane parent would want? Not just fit and healthy but bright and super successful and everything.
‘It wasn’t so bad.’ He smiled when he saw the expression on her face. ‘I had friends. Studied, played rugby. And I kept in touch with my sister because she was at boarding school. Honestly, the things I missed most were the lambs I’d reared and my dog.’
‘You had lambs?’ She was momentarily diverted by that cute mental image. Was even more diverted when Gabe cupped his hand under the still running water and then sipped from it.
‘Took the orphans in each season,’ he explained after he swallowed.
She refused to ask if they’d had them for Christmas dinner.
‘No, I didn’t eat them, they were pets.’ He read her mind as he turned off the tap. ‘Anyway, Mum got steadily madder and madder with Dad. In the end they had a massive blow-up.’
‘Hooray for your mum.’ Roxie really hoped she’d withheld conjugal rights and everything.
‘She insisted Dad and I get together. I told him what I was going to do with my life and if he wanted to be a part of it, he had to accept it.’
Take-no-prisoners Gabe—the man was tough—but then it seemed he’d had to be to get free. That was something she could understand. And admire. ‘And he did?’
‘Eventually.’
Wow. Roxie knew how conflict within families could change people. That lack of support must have affected him—and his ability to trust.
‘What about your sister? Did your dad have some grand plan for her too?’
‘Well, here’s the ironic thing—she loves farming. But she’s a girl.’
‘Don’t tell me girls can’t be farmers?’ Roxie caught on quick.
‘Never. No such thing as a lady farmer,’ he joked.
Roxie felt as bad for his sister as she had for Gabe. It was only circumstance that had held Roxie back from doing all she’d wanted to—her grandparents’ health, but they’d been supportive and caring in every other way possible. They’d always believed in her, in fact she’d downplayed her disappointment at having to stop dance lessons so as not to distress them. ‘That’s just crazy.’
‘Isn’t it?’ He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A couple of drops still remained just below his lip. Roxie wanted to kiss them away.
‘So there was the guy wanting an heir to take over the place and he had one chomping at the bit and he couldn’t even see it,’ Gabe continued. ‘I told her to get out of there and do her thing and I’d back her up.’
Roxie felt a bit sorry for his mum now. Must have been hard having both her kids feeling as if they had to escape.
‘My sister, the natural-born farmer, did an agriculture degree. Won top honors of her year. You should have seen Dad at her graduation. So now they’re working together on the farms and everybody’s happy and the big bust-up is all in the past and done with.’
Was it? Roxie heard that slight edge in his voice and knew she was right—wounds like that left scars. ‘But it was worth it?’
‘No one was telling me what to do with my own life. I won’t be hemmed in,’ he said firmly. ‘And I guess it’s why I like working with the team, helping those guys achieve their ambition. Everybody should be free to chase their own dreams.’ He shot her a suddenly embarrassed look. ‘That’s really cheesy, isn’t it?’
‘No, it’s not,’ she said honestly. ‘Your sister must have liked having you in her corner.’
He laughed—full of self-mockery. ‘I was totally selfish. I just wanted to stay at med school and live it up in town. It was in my interest to see them sort it out. And now they can finally cope with my job because I get them VIP tickets to all the big games.’
‘But I’m guessing they could afford to buy their own tickets if they really wanted to, right?’
His expression completely sobered. ‘Yeah, there’s a lot of money. And I’m back in the will—am a shareholder in the estate. The Hollingsworth clan has finally landed in the twenty-first century. That’s the reason women say yes to me—they know the value of my surname.’
Roxie froze for a split second and then roared with laughter.
‘Gabe,’ she gasped when she could, wiping a tear from her eye and breathing deep to ease the stitch in her tummy. ‘That’s not why they say yes.’ She smiled up at him as her amusement threatened an uncontrollable return.
But he wasn’t smiling back. He was just watching her, a slight knot between his brows, as if some thought up in his brain was uncomfortable. His gaze dropped, zoomed in on her mouth. She knew exactly what he was thinking now. Only instead of acting on that urge, he turned away. The frown crease deepening on his forehead. Disappointed, she watched him walk towards the house. What, were they not going to tick an item off her list tonight? Well, that was disappointing—she’d been hanging out for it all day at work. Had she offended him somehow? How did she bring back the play in him?
‘Want to know one of my favorite things?’ she called, suddenly hit by inspiration.
He wheeled on the spot.
‘Wait there, I’ve got to get it.’ She raced up to her flat, fearing he’d go into the Treehouse and leave her all hot and bothered and alone.
But instead he followed her up the stairs. ‘Let me guess, champagne?’
‘No, this.’ She turned and brandished the bottle.
Maple syrup.
Gabe looked at the label and whipped his head up to read her face.
‘Oh, my.’ Goosebumps smothered his skin. ‘What are you planning to?—?’
‘You know already.’ She smiled that totally audacious smile.
He adjusted his stance because his body was rioting. And he just gave in to it. Anticipation blasted away the sting he’d felt from her saying she wasn’t going to go stalker on him. Why it had kicked he didn’t know, and why would he fight the vision of seduction in front of him now? He didn’t have to fight it any more; they wanted the same thing—nothing but fun frolics for a few weeks...
She paused from unscrewing the lid of the bottle. The amusement flashing in her eyes undermined the innocence of her smile. ‘I thought you liked spontaneity.’
‘I do,’ he muttered, suddenly breathless.
Mere minutes later Gabe was flat on his back on the floor and wondering if he was about to have a cardiac arrest. It sure as hell felt like it. ‘Where did you learn to do that?’ he gasped.
‘An article online, where else?’ She sat up, her hair tumbling down her back, her cheeks rosy, her lips still slick from the syrup she’d licked and sucked from him. ‘It said it would send you cross-eyed. Did it work?’
Well, his head was spinning and his heart reeling. And seeing her look like the ultimate hedonistic nymph, he had to screw his eyes shut tight again.
‘Long live the internet,’ he muttered fervently. Another realization dawned as he absorbed her words. ‘Was that your first time?’
‘Mmm hmm.’ She sounded very pleased with herself.
He sat up in a hurry, fully focused on her now. She’d never gone down on a guy before and she did it like that? Such a natural it was unnatural. As she licked her lips he took her by surprise and pushed her back, settling his body over hers so she couldn’t escape. It truly was sick how much he liked having her beneath him. He tugged down her shorts, then slid so his face was where they’d just been. He held her wrists to her sides and he looked up her belly and between her breasts to her very wide blue eyes.
‘What about the situation in reverse?’ He brushed the lightest kiss across her upper thigh. ‘Has anyone ever done this to you?’
It took her a moment, then she slowly shook her head.
His instincts burned. ‘I thought you said your virginity was a mere technicality, that you were no novice. But you haven’t even had oral sex?’ Hell, that was the thing lots of teen technical virgins did, right? How they got off without going all the way.
Her flush deepened. She shook her head again.
He paused, too late to go back now—and now he needed to know it all. ‘So why me?’
‘You know what you’re doing?’ she answered in a small, uncertain voice.
He figured that was a partially honest answer, he looked at her steadily waiting for more. Hoping there was more.
‘And I think you’re very nice,’ she added in an even smaller voice. ‘I’m very attracted to you and I trust you to do what I need you to do. All I need you to do.’
He watched more closely. ‘Why do you trust me?’
‘Because you already have.’
Done what she’d needed? Shown her a good time in bed and let her keep it so casual they didn’t even spend ten minutes together out of the sack?
All of a sudden it wasn’t enough.
‘Tell me about the boyfriend,’ he prompted. ‘Did he even exist?’
‘Yes, he did,’ she answered. ‘We dated for a few months.’
‘A few months ?’ Gabe was amazed. How on earth had she stopped herself from screwing him? She was insatiable. And curious. And determined, ‘He’d taken a celibacy vow?’
‘No.’ She pulled a wrist free and mock-slapped him. ‘There just wasn’t the opportunity.’
‘You could have found an opportunity.’ She so could have.
‘I didn’t want to.’
And that was the answer he’d been seeking. Yeah, contrary to his keep-it-casual intentions, it pleased him no end that she was hot for him in a way she’d not been hot for anyone else. But he wanted her to appreciate some of his other skills too. Oh, he did not want this to become some sordid, nothing but sex-travaganza. There were other things he wanted—like a little more of her respect, to soothe that little chunk she’d taken out of him.
Yeah, his ex-accidental-virgin was about to get a little more than she’d bargained for.