CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #3
As they’d stood for the closing song, Amy’s gaze had gone to them as if drawn by a magnet.
Will had bent down to say something to Delia, his arm around her slender waist. She’d lifted her head and smiled at him.
The look of love blazing between them had stabbed at her like a knife.
And when Delia had turned to slip her arm around Will’s back, her head pressed against his chest, it had taken all Amy’s strength to look away and to keep the pain from her face.
A truly difficult task for a girl who was used to sharing what she felt with the world.
The depth of the hurt she felt had become an anguished secret she’d hid from everyone around her.
Amy braced a hand against the wall of the bathroom stall.
She took several deep breaths and let them out.
The past must stay in the past. The past must stay in the past. How was she supposed to keep it there when these memories kept sneaking up and taking her unaware?
What did she need to do to get beyond these memories and the hurt?
He was with her now.
He wanted to be with her now.
But did he really? Delia had been his first choice, his first wife.
If she hadn’t died, he would still be with her.
He hadn’t had a choice in having her taken from him.
Could he say that if he’d been able to go back and do things differently, he wouldn’t make the choices that would mean Delia would live?
Amy knew she had to go back to the sanctuary.
Will must be wondering what had happened to her.
But she needed to pull herself together in order to be able to brush aside his concern.
She closed her eyes and took several more breaths, willing herself to calm down.
If she could hide her emotional upheaval as a teenager, she could do it now.
Finally feeling the emotions ebb away and the pained memory fade, Amy left the stall.
She looked at herself in the mirror and realized that at some point she’d been crying.
Ripping a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall, she dabbed at the wetness on her cheeks.
Because she didn’t have her purse, she couldn’t fix up her makeup, but since it hadn’t been a full-on crying jag, there wasn’t too much damage.
Once satisfied that she didn’t look too worse for wear, Amy left the safe confines of the women’s bathroom and headed back to the sanctuary.
She half expected to find Will waiting for her somewhere along the way, but she made it to the door without running into him.
She opened the door and slipped inside. The singing was done, and now the pastor was praying, so she stood at the back, head bowed, until he was finished.
Moving quickly, she walked down the aisle and laid a hand on Will’s shoulder to alert him to her presence.
He glanced up and then turned his legs to the side to allow her into the pew.
She felt his hand briefly on her hip as she scooted past him and settled down once again between him and Isabella.
“Everything okay?” he asked as he leaned close to her, concern evident in the softly spoken words.
“Yep.” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Just a bathroom emergency.”
It looked like he didn’t completely believe her, but obviously the middle of a church service wasn’t the appropriate place to have any sort of conversation.
She gave him another quick smile before turning her attention to the front of the church.
The pastor had called all the children forward for a prayer before dismissing them for their own service.
As Isabella moved past Amy, she gave her a quick kiss and then gave one to Will as well.
Amy smiled at the sight of the dark haired girl skipping down to the front of the church.
She knew that skipping wasn’t exactly appropriate in a church, but Amy liked the joy it exuded, and she thought it would make God happy, too.
As she watched the children gathered at the front, Amy wondered if this thing with Will might lead to the day when it would be a child of theirs joining Isabella and the others at the front.
She glanced at Will and found him watching the children at the front of the church as well, a small smile on his face.
A memory came to her again, but this one was more recent as she recalled seeing him again for the first time when he’d showed up at the manor with Isabella just after she’d arrived in Collingsworth.
Then she’d thought he’d look hardened and tense, but today he was anything but.
The emotion on his face for Isabella revealed just how much he’d changed in the past few weeks.
Was she really responsible for it like some seemed to think? Or had his changes been more for his daughter than anything else?
Once the prayer was done, the congregation stood for one more song as the children left the sanctuary. This time Amy kept a tight rein on her thoughts and focused on the words of the song, desperate to keep any more memories at bay.
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