4. Kimberly
Chapter 4
Kimberly
"Ugh…" I groan as I roll over, pulling the covers over my head. Fuck, why did I drink so much? After a few minutes of lying under the covers and going over everything that happened yesterday, I decide it's time to get up and face the day instead of just staying here in my hangover misery. Mustering up as much strength as possible, I sit up. Shit, is the room spinning? Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I do this a few more times, and something amazing happens, the room stops spinning. A few more and I'm able to get my brain to stop pounding against my head. Wow. Yoga breaths help even when you're hung over. Who knew?
Now let's see if I can get it to work for not throwing up. Standing up, I focus on my breathing and not on how my stomach keeps telling me I need to vomit. Thankfully, I'm successful. I slowly make my way to the kitchen, making sure not to go too fast. Grabbing a glass of water and some ibuprofen, I down them both in one big swallow.
My phone rings from the charging station on my nightstand. I quickly try to get to it, but when I move too fast, my stomach lurches. Grabbing the phone, I rush to the toilet, my finger accidentally answering the phone as I'm making my way. I say nothing at first since I'm dry heaving, crossing my fingers that this is someone I know well. "Yeah," I groan.
"Well, good morning sunshine. How are you feeling?" Colleen asks in an upbeat tone.
"Shh…Don't yell. My head is killing me."
"I'm not yelling. But I did hear you dry heaving. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine once I get something in my stomach. But let me tell you, I'm swearing off drinking. Do you feel anything like me?"
"No, honey. No one drank as much as you did. Are you sure you're okay? Last night was not like you."
There is no way I'm ready to go down that path. Maybe if I just lock it all down and ignore everything, it won't matter, so I change the subject like any healthy emotion-avoiding woman would. "Speaking of, I need your help to grab my car from the bar." I glance down at the clock on the microwave. Shit it's already ten in the morning. "Do you want to come get me in an hour and we can do lunch?"
"I can't do lunch because I have somewhere to go, but I can drop you at your car,"
"Where do you have to go?"
"Nowhere."
"Fine. Keep it to yourself, then."
"I will. I'll be there in an hour," she singsongs.
"Thanks Colleen."
An hour later, there's a knock on the door. Right on time, just like she said she would, that is something I really appreciate about her. That she's always exactly where she says she's going to be, and at the right time. And if that changes, she always calls.
"Ready to go get your car?" she asks as we walk out of my house. Nodding, I double check my purse to make sure I have my wallet and keys. I mean, if I was so drunk I can't remember someone driving me home, then I wouldn't have remembered leaving my stuff either.
When we get in the car, I can tell that Colleen wants to ask me questions about my behavior last night. Instead of waiting, I sigh. "Go ahead. Ask me?"
Her cheeks go bright red compared to her porcelain skin, but she doesn't remove her eyes from the road, just slightly shrugging her shoulders. "I have nothing to ask."
"Yes, you do. I can see the wheels turning in your head. You're wondering why I got so drunk."
"Yeah, but I think I might know the reason."
I narrow my eyes at her, "Oh, really? Then why?"
"Because Silas Cabot bought the hospital. I know you didn't go in depth about what happened, but you were hurt." Her body stays relaxed, and she makes sure she doesn't look at me as if she wants to make sure she I don't feel her scrutiny too much.
Letting out a big breath, I spill my secrets. "We didn't even get that far. His son freaked out when he saw the way I looked at his dad. I couldn't come between them, so I left."
We both stay silent for the rest of the drive, neither knowing what to say. When we pull into the parking lot of the bar, Colleen pulls in next to my black Toyota Corolla. It's nothing fancy, but was the first car I ever bought after getting the job at Rose Valley Hospital.
"You know we're here for you, Kimmy. Instead of getting drunk, just talk to me or any of us," she says softly into the cab of the car. Not wanting to be any more vulnerable than I already have, I give her a slight nod. "I know. Thanks."
With that, I close the door to her car and hurry over into mine. When I turn it on, I take a deep breath and let it out. My whole body is aching from the need to be closer to Silas Cabot. I've been resisting this feeling for so long, shoving it down into a neat little box. Since he's made his reappearance in my life, the pain is back, this time in full force.
Grabbing my phone, I check the internet for the location of his office. Maybe if I just get a small glimpse, this feeling will go away. Then I'll return to pushing down my feelings once more. The entire drive to his office, I chant in my head just one more time knowing I'm lying to myself.
Silas' main office is thirty minutes away in the larger town next to Rose Valley. Parking my car in the lot across from his building, my eyes zero in on the front doors. "This is stupid, Kimberly. Why are you doing this?" I mutter to myself.
And since I don't like to take advice from others, I really don't take advice from myself. Grabbing my keys, I slowly get out of my car and head to the building. But just as I'm about to go in I see Silas walk out the main door.
My chest aches as I freeze, holding in a breath. Fuck, he's just as beautiful as he was seven years ago. Holding himself with such a confidence that everyone around him seems to know he's important. My hands twitch with the need to go over there, grab him by the lapels and kiss him.
Standing in place, I watch as he makes his way to a waiting black town car on the curb. My mind races as I try to imagine where he's headed to, watching as his car leaves.
When I can't see the taillights of his car anymore, I gulp in a large amount of air and hold it. My lungs inflating once again as they burn with the need for more oxygen. My phone buzzes in my hand. I check it and see that it's my mother.
Mom: Hey Kimmy. Just wanted to check in on you. I know it's your day off.
Quickly, I text her back. If I don't text back in a certain amount of time, she'll send out the bat signal and I don't need that right now.
Me: I'm doing good. About to hit up the grocery store.
Seeing Silas sends a wave of calm over me. My body isn't trembling with need anymore. Nor does my chest feel as if it's going to close in on itself. But I know this relief is just temporary.