Chapter 10
“Iain and Euan are ignoring reality.”
The male voice drifting up from the bailey to Calum’s open window stole his attention from the repair he was doing on the leather straps of his cotun before he had to don it and leave for the practice ground and his young charges there.
Today would be their first chance to use dulled metal swords.
The leather garment, tightly packed with woolen stuffing, acted as a light form of armor that would protect at least part of him from the worst of their wild swings.
The man’s statement piqued his curiosity. What reality were Iain and Euan ignoring? Calum stood and moved silently closer to the window, hoping to overhear more.
“Aye, he’s never going to be the scout he was,” another man replied.
Calum’s blood turned to ice. They were talking about him?
“Bloody blind man,” the first agreed. “There are other men more qualified to do that job.”
“Like us,” his companion asserted. “With two good eyes and more sense than Calum ever had. Ye ken he went with Euan to Ross to get Eduard back. They barely got away with their lives.”
That was pure shite. Calum’s arm had been broken when their fishing boat, the Tangie, wrecked in a storm on a Ross cove.
Euan also survived, found him and kept him alive.
When he and Euan escaped in a small Ross boat with Muireall and the body they’d found washed up on the sand of their youngest crew member, he could only row with one hand.
She’d had to help him with his oar to balance Euan’s powerful strokes so they wouldn’t go in circles.
Calum would have been of no use on Eduard’s rescue mission, and didn’t go. But the men who went, led by Euan, were successful.
Sudden rage heated his blood to boiling.
Ignoring stealth in his fury, he stomped to the window and leaned out, determined to see who was speaking.
But the men had moved on, and enough people milled around the bailey to make identifying his detractors impossible.
Damn it. He needed to know who they’d been, and whether there were any more who thought the same way.
Despite Mhairi allowing him to go back to training and doing anything else Iain needed, he couldn’t ignore the fact that his vision was still not exactly what it used to be, and its improvement was progressing more slowly than he hoped.
If he had enough detractors like those two, would they be able to convince Euan and Kenneth, or even Iain, to set him aside?
To consign him to training others alone, no longer a scout or a warrior?
All the fears that tormented him while his eyes were still bandaged came roaring back.
None of it was true. He was doing well, and better every day.
He could fight any man. Neither Euan nor Kenneth put pressure on him to find another path, another role to play in the clan.
He didn’t expect Iain would, either, without their support and recommendation.
But how did one fight rumors, falsehoods and mean-spirited jealousy? Who in Brodie would be so petty as to deny him the role he’d earned and excelled at for years?
Fists clenched, he glared out the window, searching, but there were too many pairs and groups of men moving about to be certain of anything, and the voices had been pitched low enough to keep passersby from understanding what was being said, so he hadn’t recognized them.
Not without a doubt. He could think of as many as six men with similar sounding voices that they might have been.
He should have given in to the urge and looked out the window sooner. Perhaps if they saw him staring down at them, they’d think twice about how qualified he was to be a Brodie scout.
He was about to turn away from the window when he heard a voice he did recognize. Ella’s.
“Who do ye think ye are?” She sounded furious. “He’s twice the man as the two of ye put together. How dare ye.”
She was defending him? What had she heard? The two men must have continued talking about him as they moved away. He rushed back to the window to see whom she was confronting, but didn’t see her. She must be around the corner of the tower, somewhere out of his view.
One of the men laughed and if he hadn’t been certain Ella could tell him whom she confronted, he wouldn’t have cared.
It didn’t matter. He recognized that cackle.
He knew them now. Those men were two of the worst fighters the clan had.
Euan kept them on the wall on guard duty, certain they’d be killed within moments in a hand-to-hand fight.
Euan and Kenneth would be amused—and angry—when they heard about this.
Calum ceased being outraged over their comments. Instead, he listened for Ella’s voice, but apparently, she’d made her point and moved on. And the two men had moved on as well. He heard no snide comments coming from them about her defense of him.
She’d defended him. Despite all he’d said and done to her, she cared.
How many times would he be reminded how wrong he’d been about her? How unfair?
Ella’s daily routine often took her past the practice field, but today, she went another way.
The smile Calum gave her in Euan’s chamber made her hope they were getting past the barriers between them.
But days passed since then, and he’d yet to take her aside to speak to her, much less to offer any companionship.
The distance between them continued to frustrate her.
Perhaps he’d been right that they didn’t suit.
She hadn’t pictured a deadline when the healer suggested that if Calum no longer returned her affections, she might resort to finding someone else to give her what she needed.
She’d thought they’d had a breakthrough, but apparently she’d been wrong.
So why had she defended Calum to those two oafs she’d overheard disparaging him?
She knew why. She couldn’t tolerate the tone of their comments, nor the fact that none of them were true, especially what they’d said about the rescues Brodie men made at Ross.
Calum had been injured then, and unable to go with them.
Aye, he still had much to overcome, but he was making great progress and he was still a better warrior—and a better man—than either of those two wastrels.
She was so deeply into her own thoughts that she ran into a wall of muscle before she realized there was someone in her way. She gasped and looked up. “Iain! I’m so sorry. I wasna watching where I was going.” Of all people, she had to bump into the laird? What must he think of her?
“Dinna fash, lass,” he told her as he steadied her, her upper arms wrapped in his large and capable hands. “Actually, we are well met. There is aught I wish to discuss with ye. Will ye come to my solar when ye finish the errand that brought ye this way?”
“Of course.” What other answer could she possibly give the laird? “I can come now, if ye wish.”
“Nay, lass. Take yer time. I’m going to observe how the wee lads are doing under Calum’s instruction, then I’ll return.”
Ella nodded, but her belly tensed. Calum would not be happy to see Iain watching him. Still, it had to happen sometime, and she couldn’t think of a good reason to delay Iain.
“Good, Ella. Just…have a care where ye are going, aye?”
His grin told her he was teasing, not rebuking her.
She smiled and went on her way, her thoughts now centered on what Iain might want to discuss with her.
She hadn’t noticed any air of seriousness or concern.
It must be something simple, perhaps something for the healer or to prepare for the next feast day. Well, she’d find out soon enough.
She finished her errands and stopped by Iain’s solar, but he wasn’t back yet.
Poor Calum. She was certain by now he was well aware the laird watched the training.
She hoped all went well. She almost wished she’d gone her usual way and been at the training ground in time to see Iain’s arrival there.
And Calum’s reaction. Iain could have summoned her from there.
Instead of entering the solar and taking a seat there to wait for him, she went back to the great hall. She’d see him when he came in, and he could let her know if he wanted some time to himself before meeting with her or not.
A few minutes later, Iain came in and gestured for her to join him as he walked to the solar.
Desperate for something to say, Ella asked the only thing she could think of. “How was the training?”
Iain glanced her way before speaking. Was he assessing whether her interest was truly in the training, or in Calum?
“Very good,” he finally said, “The wee lads are making excellent progress with Calum’s help, and I see that Calum himself is improving, too.”
“’Tis what Euan hoped to gain for his friend,” Ella replied, pleased that Iain seemed satisfied. Calum, too, she was certain, or he would have been reluctant to take on the responsibility that Euan so ably carried out before he was hurt.
Iain gestured her to a seat at the worktable that took up part of the solar, then took a seat opposite her, but didn’t say anything for several moments.
His hesitation made her heart begin to beat faster. Perhaps he had something more serious in mind after all.
“Have ye given any thought to what ye’d like yer own future to be, lass?”
Ella’s belly clenched. “What do ye mean, laird?”
“Ye work closely with the healer and should consider becoming her apprentice. I ken she’s asked ye to think on it. Before his injury, ye and Calum seemed to wish to be together. Is that still yer wish?”
Chills ran down Ella’s arms and her throat seemed frozen.
She couldn’t get a word out, even if she knew how to answer Iain’s question.
Was that still her wish? So much depended on Calum.
On his wishes, too. “I…I dinna ken. Calum and I have no’…
” She trailed off, unsure how to describe what they were to each other.
“’Twill be yer decision, Ella,” Iain said as if sensing the reason for her hesitation. “And if what seemed to be yer path in the past is no longer what ye want, I have another option ye might wish to consider.”
“Another option?”
Iain gave her a reassuring smile and leaned forward.
“I spoke to Calum about the possibility of a betrothal offer for ye in the future.” What?
Iain knew about her past. Surely he would not entertain a betrothal offer from someone she didn’t know.
He had to think she would reject it. Why would he put her in a position to go through that again?
He held up a hand as she, too, leaned forward, ready to object.
“Dinna fash. I dinna have one. But I might have left him with the impression that I expected one could come at any time. From within Brodie, or from elsewhere. Annie has been telling me ’tis time for the two of ye to stop, as she put it, dancing around each other.
I dinna mean to force ye into anything, lass.
I simply want ye to think about what it is ye want,” he said.
“Because I hope Calum is doing the same.”
He’d talked to Calum? Ella’s breath froze in her chest. Her mind spun.
What if an offer did come for her. Would it likely be from a Rose lad she’d met?
Another Brodie? Someone at Sutherland? Someone she liked well enough to consider seriously?
Or truly a stranger? It would be better if she knew the man, if only a little.
Iain would know a stranger would be too easy for her to refuse.
So, probably a Brodie. Could she do that to Calum?
Marry another within the clan and force him to see her all the time?
How would she feel if she remained here, and he married another?
Nay, she couldn’t fathom how she would live with that.
She looked up at Iain, embarrassed again.
His smile told her he’d noticed her woolgathering and waited for her to return her attention to him.
“Iain, I…” She choked to a halt. “Ye ken Calum hasna been himself since…”
“Everyone does, lass.”
“I’ve done what I could for him.”
“I ken ye have. No one blames ye for what Calum has gone through, or for how he’s dealing with it.
Or not dealing with it. Ye ken I wouldna bring this to ye if I had any qualms about ye and Calum together,” Iain said.
“I havena forgotten yer history, or how he has pursued ye, with care and concern for ye. Like Calum, I wouldna see ye forced to do anything ye dinna wish to do—openly and gladly. For that reason, I think ye must also consider whether marrying away from Brodie would make ye happy, or if ye would prefer to stay here.”
“I must think on this,” she told him when she was certain she understood the offer he made. He wouldn’t force her into anything. Her fate was still hers to decide. “How much time…?”
“I said I willna force ye into anything ye dinna want. I meant it. Ye will take the time ye need.”
“Thank ye, laird,” she said and stood to go, wanting nothing more than to bolt from this chamber and forget the conversation they’d just had.
“Ella—” he said as she turned for the door.
She took a breath, forcing herself to calm down. “Aye, laird?”
“Let me also say that I would hate to see ye leave Brodie,” Iain told her.
She nodded without turning back to face him and kept going. As she reached the doorway, his words echoed in her ears. She had made a home here, first as Muireall’s companion, then helping the healer, all while nurturing a relationship with Calum that they both seemed to cherish. Until he was hurt.
Was this really home? As she hurried to her chamber where she could sit in silence and think, she looked around her at the people, the stones and timbers that made up the keep, the hearth that everyone gathered around, the touches that made a hall and a keep a home.
But was it hers? Had it ever been? After helping to save the lost lads, she’d told Mhairi she finally felt like she belonged here, but Iain had just splintered the comfortable sense of security she’d achieved.
She might soon have little choice but to consider and possibly accept a betrothal offer—to stay or to go. She knew of no other options save the one Iain just gave her. She wanted no other options. Only Calum.
But, other than one kiss that had less to do with her than with celebrating his own success, or even with punishing her, Calum had given her no indication he still wanted to be with her.
He’d been civil, but not yet as friendly as he used to be.
Still, she had to believe they’d made some progress toward each other during the lads’ rescue.
Perhaps when Calum took some time to reflect on what Iain said to him, he’d be forced to realize that if he didn’t soon make up his mind, he could lose her forever.